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#incorrect greek gods
godsofhumanity · 2 days ago
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Ares: Don't ask a girl where she wants to eat. Tell her to guess where you're taking her to eat, then take her to the first guess.
Hermes: By Chaos... he's cracked the code we didn't even know we had!
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incorrectgreekgods · 15 hours ago
Ares: (swings at Hermes, misses)
Hermes: Strike one!
Ares: That's not how this works- (swings again)
Hermes: Strike two!
Ares: (under breath) fuck
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mytholympus · 8 months ago
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Aphrodite: It’s been 15 minutes and he still hasn’t texted me back. What if he’s hurt?
Eros: Mama, just give him some time.
*Meanwhile*
Ares: *Struggling to spell gorgeous*
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princessofopus · 15 days ago
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Odysseus: I don’t think we can mansplain, manipulate or malewife our way out of it this time.
Achilles: [cracking his knuckles]
Achilles: Manslaughter it is.
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greatest-love-machine · a month ago
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Hades: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful, and organized.
Persephone: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely*
Hades: That one. I want that one.
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princessofopus · 10 days ago
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Chiron: Please sit in this chair. I’d like to ask you some questions.
Patroclus, whispering to Achilles: Deny everything
Achilles: That’s not a chair
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