#incorrect greek gods
incorrectgreekgods · 2 days ago
Poseidon: So, are you two dating now?
Zeus and Hera: Yes.
Poseidon: Why?
Zeus: I happen to find Hera very appealing.
Poseidon: Yeah, I can understand that. I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with Hera.
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mytholympus · 2 days ago
Hades: Kid, there are two secrets to success
Hades: Number one, never tell anyone everything you know
Dionysus: What’s the second?
Hades: Well
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localgreekmythologywh0re · 2 days ago
Apollo: Hey, Ares? Can I get some dating advice?
Ares: Just because I'm with Aphrodite doesn't mean I know how I did it.
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textsfrommtolympus · a day ago
Apollo: just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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0lympian-c0uncil · 20 hours ago
Ares: The sun... is so bright...
Hermes: ...You're looking at a picture of Apollo smiling
Ares: Shut the fuck-
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thingsphoenix21 · a day ago
Ariadne: What are you thinking about?
Dionysus: Babe, I promise you when I have a coherent thought you will be the first one to know.
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withlovefromolympus · a day ago
Athena: I relate to Belle because I love to read books and love people for their souls
Aphrodite: I relate to Tinkerbell because she needs attention or she dies
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olympusrox · 18 hours ago
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death-and-flowers · a day ago
Persephone: What are you so worried about?
Hades: Do you want a list?
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best-of-all-the-geeks · 6 months ago
The Gods when they see random mortals fighting:
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noisygalaxybanana · 3 months ago
apollo: i don't think we can mansplain, manipulate or malewife our way out of this one
ares: *cracks knuckles* manslaughter it is
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incorrectgreekgods · 2 days ago
Artemis: Ayo, what the FUCK is this?!?
Ares, sitting down, surrounded by corpses: I won Mafia, that’s what.
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mytholympus · a day ago
Hades: Look, I’m sorry about what I said earlier.
Zeus: …And for punching me in the face?
Hades: No. You definitely deserved that.
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localgreekmythologywh0re · 23 hours ago
Zeus: Do you understand?
Apollo: In fact, I overstand.
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loloisafangirl · 4 months ago
Hades: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life.
Zeus: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind?
Hades: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, and beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried long after I die.
Poseidon: edible
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0lympian-c0uncil · 2 days ago
Demeter: Are you tall enough to play basketball though?
Hera: Are you calling me short?
Zeus: We're calling you vertically challenged.
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thanatoastie · 3 months ago
Bitches be like: “The Greek gods were very complex. They were meant to be like humans in drastic proportions. Their bads were the worst, but their goods were also the best. They’re very morally complex characters. You can not say “Hades is evil, Ares is evil, Artemis is good, Athena is good.” That is because it’s not true, their grand characters can not be summarized in such small sentences. Zeus though, Zeus is a bitch. “
It’s me. I’m bitches.
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withlovefromolympus · 2 days ago
*Zeus eating cake*
Hera: can I have a bite?
Zeus: of course honey *spoon feeds her the rest of the cake*
*Hera eating cake*
Zeus: can I have a bite?
Hera, shoving her mouth full: it's really spicy, you wouldn't like it
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princessofopus · 7 months ago
Odysseus: I don’t think we can mansplain, manipulate or malewife our way out of it this time.
Achilles: [cracking his knuckles]
Achilles: Manslaughter it is.
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meditando-en-paris · 23 days ago
Drunk Achilles texting Patroclus: You're the hottest boyfriend I've ever had.
Patroclus: I'm your husband.
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