#incorrect greek myths quotes

[anistrange]

Zeus: Okay, help me please! Hera: Got two words for you. Zeus: I bet they won't be helpful. Hera: Your problem. Zeus: I was right.

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[athenas-sw0rd]

Agamemnon: I never considered you a rival.

Achilles: I never considered you at all.

#the iliad #incorrect greek heroes #achilles #greek heroes #achilles and patroclus #incorrect tsoa quotes #tsoa achilles #tsoa quotes #odysseus #tsoa patroclus #agamemnon #the odyssey #the song of achilles #greek myth art #greek gods #ancient greek mythology #ancient greece #ancient greek #troy #troy 2004

[thaliasthunder]

odysseus: men with long hair are such sluts. what do u have long hair for? for other men to pull it?

achilles: wha

odysseus: whore.

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[lenaleviosa]

Greek soldier: “I’m sorry Patroclus, but you’re banned from working in the infirmary”

Patroclus: “What? Why?”

Soldier: “It’s Achilles. We can’t have him getting hurt every day just to come see you. He’s our best soldier you know”

Patroclus: “That’s not - I mean yeah, he’s an idiot, but you can’t just -“

Achilles: *walking in, dramatically limping* “Help me Patroclus! My left toe is bleeding!”

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[h0bg0blin-meat]

Ares: I just stubbed my toe.

Ares: But did I cry like a baby?

Ares: Of course not.

Ares: A baby don't have the lung capacity for the sound I just made.

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[linktenbooks]

Achilles, thinking: Wow Patroclus is so graceful and beautiful

[Patroclus, trips and falls over his own feet]

Achilles: gorgeous

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[shattered-stars-lonely-hearts]

Apollo: Pick a card, any card Hermes: Okay Apollo: Apollo: Any card did not include my credit card, kindly hand it back

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[withlovefromolympus]

Zeus: Hermes, open up!!

Hermes: i have daddy issues

Zeus: i meant the door, you bastard!

Hera: shh, no, let him speak

#queued post #Hera #zeus #hermes deity #greek mythology #greek gods #incorrect greek gods #incorrect quotes #classical mythology #greek myth memes #mythology #incorrect greek mythology

[whitevesper]

[achilles teaching patroclus to drive]

achilles: you’re driving and suddenly you see clytemnestra and agamemnon walk into the road. what do you hit?

patroclus: the brakes obviously

achilles: wrong. agamemnon. you should always hit agamemnon.

#ancient greek mythology #ancient greek memes #greek myth retellings #greek myth memes #greek mythology #ancient greek #incorrect tsoa quotes #tsoa patrochilles #tsoa memes #incorrect patrochilles quotes #achilles and patroclus #patrochilles #achilles #clytemnestra #agamemnon #patroclus #you should always hit agamemnon 😎

[sungodra]

Achilles: Go big or go home!

Patroclus, with tears in his eyes: I'm begging you, Achilles, for once in your life, please, just this once, go home

Achilles: I'm going big

#patroclus #soa #achilles #greek myth joke #greek mythology #incorrect tsoa quotes #patrochilles #song of achilles #the song of achilles #tsoa #the illiad #tsoa madeline miller #tsoa memes #madeline miller

[mytholots]

Apollo: You disgust me.

Hermes: *eating a kitkat sideways* And?

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[anistrange]

People stop making Zeus as the main villain of their adaptations and start to make better nuanced stories Challenge 2022 (Impossible)

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[athenas-sw0rd]

Achilles: So what’s your type?

Patroclus: Blue eyes, prideful, strong, oblivious, blonde hair.

Achilles: Kinda sounds like me. Too bad we’re just friends.

Patroclus: ..did I mention oblivious?

#the iliad #incorrect greek heroes #greek heroes #achilles #achilles and patroclus #tsoa achilles #incorrect tsoa quotes #odysseus #tsoa quotes #tsoa patroclus #tsoa patrochilles #tsoa #patroclus x achilles #achillies #achilles x patroclus #patrochilles #greek myth #ancient greek

[thaliasthunder]

achilles: my boyfriend is just the kindest boy on earth, a literal angel that can do no wrong, he-

odysseus: didnt he kill someone

achilles: and im gonna make sure you're next if u dont shut up

#achilles #patroclus #patrochilles #tsoa #the song of achilles #madeline miller #achilles x patroclus #greek myth #circe #incorrect tsoa #incorrect tsoa quotes

[lenaleviosa]

*Achilles arriving in the underworld*

Achilles: “Where’s Patro-“

Hades: “FINALLY! ACHILLES- a word please”

Achilles: “Sure, but could you tell me where Patroclus -“

Hades: “Look around”

Achilles: “I am, but it’s so crowded in here, I can’t see him”

Hades: “Exactly!”

Hades: “A 10 year long war was already bad enough, but then you had to go and murder 10 000 people in one day???”

Hades: “Frank over here - who you gracefully pierced with your spear btw - has been standing in this exact same spot for three days because I’ve got no place to put him!”

Achilles: “So I’m guessing you’re not going to help me find Patroclus, then?”

#greek mythology #achilles #the song of achilles #patrochilles #patroclus #tsoa #greek myths #incorrect tsoa quotes #achillesxpatroclus #greek gods #hades

[stingrayextraordinaire]

Persephone: Tell Hermes about the birds and the bees.

Hades: They’re disappearing at an alarming rate.

#sent in by an anonymous friend :) #hades and persephone #persephone and hades #hades x persephone #persephone x hades #hades #persephone #greek mythology #greek myth #mythology #incorrect quotes #incorrect hadestown quotes #incorrect greek mythology #incorrect Greek myth quotes #incorrect lore olympus quotes #incorrect hades and persephone #incorrect hades x persephone #lore olympus #hadestown #hermes