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#incorrect haikyuu quotes

semi: self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys.

ushijima: no, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap.

tendo: self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you! self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists! self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!

shirabu: lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting.

semi: if you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

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akaashi: would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million gold?

bokuto: you stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house.

konoha: you can stab me too, then we’ll have 20 million.

bokuto: good thinking.

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Akaashi: Do you want to know why I really hurt my wrist?

Konoha: Yes.

Akaashi: I was hula hooping. I took a class for fitness and for fun.

Konoha: Oh my god.

Akaashi: *scrolling through the pictures on his phone* I’ve mastered all the moves. The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie doodle.

Konoha: Why are you telling me all of this?

Akaashi: *deletes every picture* Because no one will ever believe you.

Konoha: You sick son of a bitch.

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terushima texting daishou
terushima: damn nice ass daishou
mika: this is his gf
terushima: tell him i said "nice ass"
mika: where tf do you want to be buried
terushima: in that ass lmao
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