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ironrad · 1 year

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Clint who just learned a new game from his kids:

Clint: Alright guys we’re all going to pass the phone around and say who we’d warn someone about before coming to the Avengers compound

Clint: I’ll start. Personally, I would warn people about Tony because I never know what he’s up to in that lab…

Nat: What are we doing? Oh ok, I’d warn people about Peter. He acts innocent, but I see right through it…

Tony: You want my honest answer? Steve. Next question-

Steve: Um maybe all of us because we have powers and can be dangerous when crossed.

Steve: That wasn’t the question? Ok, fine, I’d warn them about Queens. He scares me sometimes…

Bucky whispering: …Peter.

Sam: Why did you whisper that?

Bucky: He’s always listening.

Sam: Yikes, anyways, I’m gonna go with Bucky.

Bucky: Hey-

Bruce: Hi! I’m Bruce Banner, and I think I would warn people about Peter and Tony. Alone they’re both trouble, and together they’re a train wreck, but the good kind. Hang on-

Peter: Oh EZ, I’ve seen this on Tik Tok. Mr. Stark, no questions asked. That guy is everywhere all the time. I can’t get shit-

Steve: Language.

Peter: Sorry! I can’t get anything over on him.

Happy: Peter and Tony.

Thor: Ah, yes, hello. I would warn them of ME.

Thor spinning his hammer and chugging a keg:

Stephen: Tony. I try to avoid him at all costs.

Pepper: Awe thank you for including me. I’d warn them of my husband and his teenager…sometimes I need an extra warning.

The Avengers watching back the footage:

Tony: I’ve done nothing but be a pleasant member of this team.

Peter: Yeah, sounds about right.

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underoooos · 2 years

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Peter: If Harley and I were drowning who would you save? Tony : You two can't swim? Peter: It's a hypothetical question, Mr. Stark! Who would you save? Tony : *scoffing* My time and effort

#emotional damage #peter parker #incorrect peter parker #happy hogan #irondad and spiderson #incorrect irondad and spiderson #spiderman #incorrect marvel quotes #irondad #incorrect tony stark #incorrect may parker #incorrect happy hogan #incorrect mcu quotes #incorrect avengers

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thatoneguyinthechair · 1 year

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Sprite

Rhodey: A sprite is anything that's not static. Tony: A sprite is a variable object, be it 2d or 3d. Happy: A sprite is a soda, you goddamn geekass bastards.

#language tw #colonel rhodes #tony stark #happy hogan #ironfam #incorrect colonel rhodes #incorrect tony stark #incorrect ironman #incorrect war machine #incorrect happy hogan #incorrect ironfam #incorrect marvel #incorrect avengers #source: incorrect quote generator

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marvelsarchiveofdumb · 2 years

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Happy: I don't know a lot about cars but if you're missing an engine or a wheel then I think that would be bad

#incorrect marvel #incorrect quotes #incorrect happy hogan #incorrect iron man #marvel #mcu #marvel cinematic universe

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writingintheshadowsforever · 2 months

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Y/N catches Natasha by the arm stopping her.

Natasha: "What's wrong?"

Y/N: "You were wearing a dress when you left the party."

Natasha lets out a sigh as Y/N does the calculation in her head: "Now is not the time, babe."

Y/N eyeing Happy with suspicion as he rounds the corner out of breath.

Happy pauses under your glare glancing at Natasha nervously.

Y/N: "You changed in the car"

Natasha: "Yes, it was the only option. Can we go now?"

Y/N: "Did he look?"

Natasha: "Y/N please"

Y/N releasing her arm to walk over to Happy her eyes narrowed.

Happy: "No, I wouldn't do that. I'm a gentleman."

Y/N raises an eyebrow at him.

Happy: "Fine fine okay I took a quick small little peek, that's all I promise"

He jabs a finger at Natasha: "She corrected me. I'm sorry, OW."

Y/N punch him square in the nose knocking him back into the wall.

Natasha: "Y/N"

Y/N shaking her hand: "Sorry Nat, but no one gets to see you undress but me. Now we can go."

Y/N continues on with the mission.

Happy gives Natasha a thumbs up nursing his bloody nose with the other one: "Go on, I'm fine, I'll catch up."

#incorrect marvel quotes #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x reader #black widow x reader #happy hogan #mcu imagine #marvel imagine

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marvel-lous-guy · 9 months

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*on a phone call*

Pepper: Tony, you have a board meeting in 30 minutes. You better be there

Tony: I'm not going.

Pepper: Yes you are. I cleared your schedule and made FRIDAY lock you out of all rooms in the tower except this meeting room for the next 4 hours

Tony: I won't go. Happy is taking me far away from the tower as we speak

Pepper: Actually, I already spoke to him and he's taking you towards the tower

Tony: damnit! HAPPY! LET ME OUT OF THIS CAR!

Happy: Sorry boss! No can do!

Tony: *rolling down his window* I am not above crawling out of this car window to avoid the meeting!

Pepper: TONY NO!

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wheredostarsgowhenyoudie · 11 months

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Once upon a Tower hangout...

Happy: You were afraid before. That's why you were reckless. Always making suits and going on life threatening missions. But life's different now, huh? I gotta say. Being a stay at home dad suits you, boss.

Tony: (glares at the teasing)

Rhodey (chuckles and clicks his beer cup with his friend's mug): Just admit it, Tones. The kid made you soft.

Tony (scoffs and takes a sip of his tea. Yup, he drinks tea now, courtesy of Peter's starter pack for taking care of overworked genius mentors): Still not a dad.

Rhodey (laughs louder): Don't kid yourself. Pepper called me last Wednesday to stress when you skipped an SI meeting because you had that thing with the Dadvengers Club. What did you guys even do? I thought Clint was grounded by Laura?

Tony: Ugh, don't remind me. Now, I couldn't even kill an ant. Scott is to blame. And apparently, Clint cleaned up their whole yard with no help from the kids so Laura let him off.

Happy (draws an amused smirk): Is that what fatherhood does? Just eating healthy and attending PTAs?

Friday: Boss, sorry to interrupt. But Karen activated Spider-No-Swiping Protocol.

Tony (groans): Pete tried to override my protocols again? What's the excuse this time?

Friday: Karen reports that Spider-Man is currently hanging on a web attached to a wizard's cape. His locations show the North Pole and Karen expresses concern on his lowering temperature.

Tony (exchanges a look with his friends): Of course he is. Well, at least kid kept his promise. It's on Earth.

Happy (shakes his head, amused as he stands to dust his hands): I'll get the jet ready.

Rhodey (stands too): I'll order takeout to bring. Kid likes triple chocolate lava drink with Stik-O, right?

Tony (nods gratefully): Friday, ring Strange. Tell him spiders don't thermogulate so if he's going to babysit, he better keep my kid warm or else. And call my kid. He better answer at first ring or Spider-Man's grounded for a month.

#avengers #irondad #irondad and spider son #tony stark #james rhodes #happy hogan #irondad fanfiction #spider-man #tom holland #spiderson #incorrect marvel #marvel #peter parker #mcu

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ir0npvrker · 2 years

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happy: if a stranger came up to you and said "i'm your dad's friend, he told me to pick you up" what would you say?

peter: i'd say "you're lying, my dad doesn't have any friends!"

tony:

#source: tumblr #tony’s the dad in this scenario btw #in case that wasn’t clear #irondad and spiderson #irondad #happy hogan #peter parker #spiderman #tony stark #iron man #avengers #marvel #mcu #incorrect marvel quotes #incorrect mcu quotes #incorrect quotes

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incorrect-marvel-because-why-not · 2 months

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Tony: Where are you going? Pepper: To get MYSELF a gift cause somebody didn't get me one! Tony: I told you I did! It's coming here on Friday! Happy, knowing full well that Tony got Pepper an engagement ring: eating popcorn

#marvel #marvel mcu #incorrect quotes #tony stark #pepper potts #pepperony #tony x pepper #iron man #happy hogan

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chaotictasha · 2 years

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Incorrect quotes#105

Morgan , texting Y/n: Y/n! Help I’m being kidnapped.

Y/n: Where are you?

Morgan : I’m with some strange person. In a car. HELP

Y/n: I’ll call Peter.

Peter, answering their call: Y’ello?

Y/n: Where’s Morgan ? They texted me that they were being kidnapped.

Peter: MORGAN ? WHADDYA MEAN, THEY'RE RIGHT NEXT TO ME-

Peter: I’ll call you back. *hangs up*

Peter: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN’T THAT BAD!

Morgan : WHO ARE YOU?!

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xanderio1 · 2 months

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Peter: Mr stark, stop please calm down

Tony: kid stay out of the way! He fucking stabbed you I’ll fucking kill him!

Peter: me.stark, please,I’m fine, please calm down! *peter, holding tony by his arms*

Tony: kid, you’ll understand when you’re older now let me go!

Peter, done with this shit with a migraine: tony. Stark. Stop this right fucking now.

Tony: 😨

Pepper, proud mama bear: 🥹

Morgan, giggling at Tony’s face: ☺️

Bucky who accidentally stabbed Peter in battle and feels horrible about it: 😥

Happy, proud uncle bear: 🥹

#iron dad #iron man #peter parker #spider son #spiderman #marvel incorrect quotes #morgan stark #pepper potts #happy is not happy #happy hogan #mcu #marvel headcanons #marvel

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ironrad · 1 year

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Happy: Hey, Peter, I’m here for you.

Peter: Wow, thank you. That really means a lot, you know?

Peter: Life sometimes gets a little tough, and it’s really great to know the people who really care-

Happy: No, I’m here as in, “I’m parked outside.” Boss sent me to pick you up.

Peter:

#incorrect irondad quotes #irondad #irondad and spiderson #spider man #iron man #incorrect peter parker #peter parker #fanfiction #incorrect happy hogan #incorrect tony stark #tony stark

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underoooos · 2 years

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Happy : Peter I kinda like someone, but I'm worried about telling you who it is, because you're not going to like it

Peter : Don't worry Happy just rip the band-aid off

Happy : I-It's May.

Peter : Put the band-aid back on.

#peter parker #incorrect peter parker #happy hogan #irondad and spiderson #incorrect irondad and spiderson #spiderman #incorrect marvel quotes #irondad #incorrect tony stark #incorrect may parker #incorrect happy hogan #incorrect mcu quotes #incorrect avengers

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qu1cks1lversb1tch · 1 year

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'Tony, No'

- a book written by Pepper Potts, co-authored by James Rhodes and Happy Hogan, introduction written by Nick Fury, with excerpts from the prequel 'Tony, Put That Down' written by Steve Rogers

Enjoy the feisty counter argument 'TONY, YES' written by Harley Keener, co-authored by Pietro Maximoff, Bucky Barnes, and Clint Barton. Edited by Natasha Romanoff.

#marvel #incorrect marvel quotes #domestic avengers #the avengers #pietro maximoff #tony stark #natasha romanoff #steve rogers #clint barton #james rhodes #Bucky Barnes #pepper potts #harley keener #happy hogan #nick fury #midgard #asgard

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lilylovelyxo · 1 year

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*Peter, Ned, and Y/N trying to get into Tony’s car for missing homework*

Peter, frustrated: “It’s locked. But the window is open a crack. Maybe we can find a hanger or-“

Y/N looking at the ground: “Hangers are for Sunday school clothes. Bring me a rock!”

Peter: “We’re not smashing the window.”

Y/N, coming back with a rock: “It’ll look like the rain did it.”

Ned, who’s homework was also in the very nice mini van that Tony had purchased as a joke: “Do it! Get that homework.”

Peter wrestling the rock away from Y/N: “Y/N, stop.”

Happy, walking up to them: “Uh thanks. Tony would’ve blamed me for that.”

Peter, turning around very nervous: “Oh hey, Happy. This is… What are you doing here?”

Y/N acting innocent: “This is not my van.”

Ned: “We were just gonna get some ice cream from this truck here… We were just getting our homework.”

*All three look a little guilty as Happy simply unlocks the mini van and gives them their homework*

#incorrect marvel quotes #spiderman x reader #peter parker x reader #peter parker #spiderman #avengers x reader #bobs burgers quotes #ned leeds #happy hogan #tony stark #tony stark x reader

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digglesthedickerfly · 1 year

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Aunt May: The stars look really beautiful tonight.

Happy: They do.

Happy: Y’know what else is beautiful?

Peter, sitting in between them: Me.

#peter parker #aunt may #happy hogan #spider man #marvel #mcu #incorrect marvel quotes #incorrect quotes

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