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#incorrect house of ashes
myscprin · 3 months
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3 am at Bar's closing
Nick: Alright bud, let's get goin'
Jason, drunk as a skunk: No! I ain't goin' n'where 'nless iss 'ome wif 'im *points to Salim*
Salim, smiling: I am flattered Jason, but I still have work to do. You two be careful out there and get home safe, you're barely standing straight.
Jason: It's cuz I'm standin' gay.. Fer yoooouuuuu
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yoshidatommy · 9 months
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Zain mid-dialogue: Okay, drill sergeant
Jason: Actually, first lieutenant 🙃
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prvttystvr · 1 year
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Jason: I can take the Iraqi soldier
Eric: in a fight, right?
Jason, taking of his shirt:
Eric:
Eric: … in a fight … right?
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buttermykolchek · 1 year
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Head empty, just him 😭
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Jason: why do the vampires keep trying to kill us?
Salim: maybe they’re homophobic 
Jason: we’re not gay, Salim
Salim: we're not???
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cyberlifeangel · 2 years
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salim, tending to jason's wounds: how would you rate your pain?
jason: zero stars. would NOT recommend.
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you1gnorant5lut · 1 year
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Jason, making a pb and honey sandwich.
Salim, eying the knife.
"What the hell is that?" nick asks.
Jason smirks. "It's a Southern thing."
Salim snatches the knife
Jason :Hey! What the-
Salim - licks it.
Jason: . . . .
Nick: . . . .
Eric: . . . .
Rachel: ew
Salim, turning red: im sorry. I wanted to try it.
Jason, also red, and a little turned on: you know what you need, buddy?
Salim: what?
Jason: . . .Impulse control.
He takes the knife back, looks at it, and then continues right on using it.
Everyone except Salim: staring
Jason : What?
Nick shakes his head: you're both disgusting.
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myscprin · 19 days
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Salim, after accidentally spilling his tea onto Jason's lap: oh! What a mess! I am sorry friend!
Salim: *excessively dabs with wads of napkins*
Jason, trying to stop him: It's alright Salim. It's alright, you can stop.
Salim: No my friend, let me get it cleaned up!
Jason, about to burst: I-if you don't stop it'll get a whole lot messier....
Salim: 😳
Jason: 😳
Salim, blinking: W-well... I dont mind a mess...
Nick: I DO. PLEASE. IT'S 5AM YALL.
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yoshidatommy · 11 months
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Salim: Jason, did you bathe our baby?
Jason: He's in the bath rn. Damn, he's eating the foam. Damn, it's really tasty!
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prvttystvr · 1 year
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Rachel & Nick: fuck you Eric!
Eric: yeah fuck me!
Rachel & Nick:
Eric:
Eric: please
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buttermykolchek · 2 years
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Scouts honor. Part 1
[J. Kolchek x Fem! Reader]
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This is my first try writing a fic, let me know what you think!
Italics means thoughts/flashbacks
Tw: blood, violence, swearing, cringe (probably)
Tags: @kassiekolchek22
Iraq, 2003.
Camp slayer 0800 hours.
Your tan combat boots hit the floor in a rhythm as you made your way to Rachel’s office. You had just received word that Colonel Eric King was assigned to lead the team. Rachel’s team. You’d known about their previous relationship and you knew it was extremely complicated. As Rachel’s best friend, you’d gotten caught in the crossfire several times. What I fucking headache. She’s going to loose her shit ice she hears about this. You took a deep breath before knocking firmly on her office door, clutching the paperwork in your left hand. You were standing with your hands behind your back. Your long (y/h/c) locks were pulled into a tight bun, you had on a dark green tshirt, which was tucked into your uniform pants, which were tucked into your combat boots. the typical uncomfortable marine uniform crap.
You heard a bit of shuffling around and giggling before rachel answered the door, stepping aside so nick could leave the room. her hair was messy, and nicks hat was clearly crooked. What the hell? Your jaw nearly hit the floor when you saw a fresh hickey on his neck. Nick nodded at you and kept on down the hall, and Rachel sighed at the look on your face. “It’s not what it looks like, y/l/n.” She almost whispered as you stepped inside, You waited until she closed the door to have a mini freak out. “Not what it looks like?! Rach! Are you serious right now? He’s your subordinate!” You we’re whisper yelling. Praying nobody like merwin or Joey were walking by, they’d definitely make a big stink out of this.
She sighed and leaned on her desk, biting her thumb nail. “I know..” she mumbled, looking at the floor. “I just, I don’t know.. With all the bullshit with Eric I think I just wanted to feel something else, you know?” You looked at her with raised eyebrows, your hands on your hips. “No Rachel, I don’t ‘know’.” You said, using your fingers as quotation marks. “Please, enlighten me. Tell me. How do you think Eric is going to react when he gets here?!”
Your breath caught in your throat as Rachel’s head snapped to your direction. “Excuse me?” She stood, raising her voice a little. You ran a hand down your face in stress. “He’s going to be here within the hour. Christ, rach.” You groaned, pacing around the room. She was already fixing her hair in a hurry. “Straighten up, don’t say a fucking word about any of this, I mean it. We’ve got enough bullshit floating around this camp. The last thing anybody needs is your and nicks affair getting out and about.” You pointed a finger at her, before turning and leaving the room. Slamming the door shut. She may have been your superior, but she knew you were right. You had every reason to be mad. Nicks your best friend, you don’t want his heart getting broken, nor do you want either of them to be reprimanded if word got out.
You walked very hurriedly to your shared bunk room with nick and Jason. The tips of your ears were red with anger. You threw the door open, quickly slamming it shut behind you the second you were through. The first person you saw was nick. Perfect. “Hey scout” nick flashed a soft smile, he was lacing up his boots, sitting on the edge of his bunk bed. “Just the guy I wanted to see” you said through gritted teeth. Smacking him on the back of his head. “Ow! What the hell y/n!” He shouted. Rubbing his head “what the hell were you thinking? Nick, her husband is going to be our new CO. If he finds out, your ass is grass.” You sighed. “And I’ve heard he’s a real dickbag. So, lucky you.” By now You we’re pacing again. Chewing on your bottom lip, not looking at nick. “I’m sorry, y/n. You gotta understand, after the checkpoint-“ he shook his head. Looking at the floor.
You looked over at him, softening your eyes and moving to sit next to him. You, nick and Jason had just been involved in a shooting a few weeks back. You squeezed your eyes shut, trying not to think about the blood. “I get it.. I’m sorry.” You mumbled. Rubbing his back. Before you could say anything else, the door had swung open. It was Jason, he looked almost.. scared? “Guys, pull your shit together and get out here. Our new CO just landed” he panted, before running off down the hall. You giggled a little at how discombobulated he seemed. Jason always had his shit together, but apparently not today. You and nick shared a soft smile before standing up, heading out the door and towards the briefing room.
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Briefing room, 0830 hours.
You were leaning against a desk, listening to colonel king give his presentation. Nick and Jason were on either side of you, listening close. Your eyes were trained on the floor tiles, arms crossed, not really paying attention too much. You were nervous about this mission, maybe even more nervous that Jason’s arm kept brushing against yours. ‘Stop it, he’s your boss, idiot’ you thought to yourself. Jason’s always been your best friend alongside Nick, but lately you’ve been getting mixed signals from him. One day he’d treat you like one of the guys, punching your arm and talking about guy stuff. Then the next day you’d catch him stealing glances at you from across the room, defending you from merwin and his gross jokes, and making sure you were taking care of yourself.
You mentally kicked yourself for thinking about him in such a way. He’s your friend, y/n. He doesn’t see you like that. He’s just a nice guy. You repeated that to yourself until you heard Jason speak up. “Boys are just eager to catch a break, sir. No harm meant.” ‘Did I miss something?’ You thought. Looking up at him and nudging his arm a little. A confused look on your face. Jason tilted his head down, leaning his head to the side and whispering “fill you in later.”. You nodded. Still listening, but keeping to yourself.
After Eric was finished with his presentation, you made your way over to Joey. He was talking to Eric with a concerned look on his face. As you approached, you cued in on their conversation. “Bet the farm on this. I have a good feeling we're gonna clear up." Said Eric. “I wish I shared your optimism, Colonel." Joey spoke, the colonel turned his heels and made his way over to Rachel, as you leaned on the table next to joey. “Hey, you okay?” You looked at him with a soft expression. Joey was always like a big brother to you, ever since you joined the team he and you would always get into trouble together. He sighed. “I’m okay, just a little worried is all” Joey shrugged
“Hey, don’t be. Nothings gonna happen to any of us, not if I can help it.” You smiled a little, tilting your head. “What if you can’t help it, scout? What if I can’t help you or, or merwin or-“ “hey” you interrupted “will you stop that. We’re gonna be okay. Promise” you stuck out your pinky, which made him smile a little, before wrapping his pinky around yours. “See? Everything is going to be A-O-K” you stood up straight. Knocking on his helmet playfully before walking off, on your way to get ready for the mission.
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Tunnels, 1100 hours, 63ft
“Y/n! Get down!” You heard Joey scream, it sounded almost like an echo. What the fuck? “Joey?” You groaned. Everything hurt. You felt like shit. You tried to sit up, only to gasp at the sharp pain in your shoulder. Your eyes snapped open, only to see it was dark all around you, besides the circle of light around you, which came from the giant hole in the ceiling above.
“Oh, what the fuck?” You winced, rolling onto your side. Your vision was blurry for a second, before everything came clear. The pain in your shoulder was burning like a white flame. You clutched it, only to find that it felt wet. “Ah, shit” you hissed. Pulling your hand back into the sunlight. Your hand was covered in blood. “Fan-fucking-tastic” you whispered, looking around to observe your surroundings as you stood up. You couldn’t really tell where you were exactly, other than it was a tunnel of some sort. “Joey? Jason?” You whisper/called. Careful incase there were enemies nearby. “What the fuck” you whispered, again and again. It’s the only thought you really had, as you looked for your weapons. other than finding your team and patching up your shoulder, of course. You assumed it was a bullet hole, giving the fact you were just in combat. ‘Oh, shit.’ You thought. The memories flooding back.
You stood up straight, checking your clip. Thank god it was full. You took a couple steps towards the dark tunnel, raising your weapon. Turning your headlight on. You could barely see, the path was so narrow. You clicked the intercom button on your earpiece “Scout to mailman 3, Nicky? Where are you?” You spoke just above a whisper. Your new call sign made you smile a little. Jason had given it to you a few days ago, saying something about how you’re like a girl scout.
As you approached you realized the three figures were Nick, Jason and clarice. Nick and Jason were saying something about needing to find you, and You heard merwin groan in pain. “found her” he managed to get out, making them all turn around “fancy meeting you here” you joked lightheartedly, grabbing your knife and starting to cut the wires. “How did you- what? Where did you come from?” Jason said in disbelief. “I honestly don’t know, jase” you said softly. Glancing at him for just a second, before continuing to Concentrate on not injuring you or merwin any more. Finally, you cut the right wire that sent merwin to the ground.
As you all surrounded him, he started screaming again. “oh fuck he’s so fucked” you heard Jason say breathlessly. “You don’t think I can- hear you” merwin gasped between breaths. He really was fucked. Blood and guts never really bothered you, but this was just awful. His skin was torn to shreds, pieces of barbed wire still mauling his flesh. You had to do something to get it out. “Hey, hey, look at me” you said softly. Putting a hand on merwins helmet. You were trying to comfort him. He may have been a dick, but that didn’t mean you needed to be one. “It’s gonna be okay, I’m gonna patch you up best I can, and then we’ll get out of here. Everything is going to be just fine.” “There’s morphine in my pack! Get it!” You heard Nick yell, “Jesus, who the hell loaded these packs” Jason grumbled. as you turned your head to look at them, clarice was yanked into the darkness.
“What the fuck?” You whispered in disbelief. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears. Jason stepped towards where clarice had disappeared. “Clarice?” Jason called softly, only to be answered by a menacing shrieking. Jason and Nick jumped back, meanwhile you had already grabbed merwins pack straps, ready to start moving him. “The fuck was that?” Merwin winced. Jason and Nick each grabbed one of merwins arms. “Move! Now!” He shouted, dragging the man behind the 3 of you. The trail of blood following.
“Nick he’s bleeding out, we have to take care of this” you insisted, dragging him into a corner. Hoping whatever was out there wouldn’t find you. You kept pressure on merwins wounds while Jason scoped out the area. “How is it?” Merwin winced. “You want the good version or the bad version?” You couldn’t look at him, knowing he was fucked either way. “Just give it to me straight.” He groaned. Nick shook his head, “I’m not gonna lie man, it’s pretty fuckin’ bad”. The shrieking was getting louder as you moved to start patching him up, he was bleeding out too quickly. “Whatever’s out there, he’s drawing them down on us!” Jason said in a panicked tone. You’ve never seen him this scared. “He won’t hold still jase, you need to get the morphine in him.” You turned your head. He was like a deer in headlights. “Now kolchek!” You demanded, he was a good soldier, they called him the best of the best. You knew he’d follow an order rather than a plea.
In a second Jason was digging the morphine out, as Nick kept his hand over merwins mouth to keep him quiet. you kept bandaging up several of merwins wounds, Joey had been giving you medicine training but it wasn’t enough.. wait, where’s Joey?you thought. Nick started to say something, but couldn’t hear what He was saying over the intense shrieking coming from down the hall. By the time you and Jason looked up, it was too late. “Nick, you’re choking him!” You slapped his hand away. Jason moved to check his pulse.
“Can’t find a pulse, I can’t find a fucking pulse” he said in a panicky tone. You looked over at Nick. “It can’t be! I- I didn’t mean to-“ he stuttered “he’s gone Nick, merwin is dead” Jason spoke just above a whisper. Your heart sank. You fell back into your heels, looking down at your blood soaked hands. Nick looked at you both in sheer regret. “I’m sorry- I- I didn’t mean, fuck” he nearly shrieked. Standing up with his hands on his head “Nick it’s okay” you sighed. “It was an accident ” You stood up, ignoring the pain in your left shoulder and side. Jason stood beside you. Your heart jumped when you saw him out of the corner of your eye. Fuck. Why did he have to stand so damn close? Normally you’d be annoyed that someone’s up your ass, but Jason being close made you feel.. safe? Not the kind of safe Nicky made you feel. Nick always said he had to protected you, but you wanted jason to protect you, to hold you. Jesus, this ain’t the time.
“We gotta move guys, they’re coming.” You turned, and jason grabbed your left arm “hey we need to-“ You let out a yelp, Jason immediately released his hold. He had grabbed your bad arm. As the adrenaline wore off, you remembered that you were shot. “Fuck” you seethed as you clutched it. Him twisting your arm made it start to bleed again. “Y/n? What the fuck happened to you?” Jason moved closer. Grabbing your shoulder to examine you. “Ow, ow jason, be careful would you?” You whimpered, The shrieking from whatever was chasing you seemed to have subsided. “Christ, you got hit” he sighed, applying pressure. “Good news is, the bullet went clean through” he spoke softly as he started to put bandages on each side. “Bad news?” You seethed, Clenching his shirt tightly. “We’re out of morphine” he chuckled. Making you smile a little “awesome” you turned your head to look at him.
He seemed so focused. his eyes were narrow on your wound, cursing as he fumbled with the last bandage. You never noticed how attractive he really was until now. His face and arms were covered in dirt, he had a cuts and scrapes all over him. He brought his eyes to meet yours and you immediately felt your face heat up, looking away and at nick. He was looking at the floor, clearly upset. “Nick-“ “Let’s move” Nick said sorrowfully, breezing past you and Jason, and down the cave corridor. You looked up at Jason, who was already looking at you. “Do you think he’ll be okay?” You whispered as you both started to walk, careful not to let Nick hear. “He’s a big boy, he’ll be fine” Jason spoke as if he was trying to convince himself, rather than you.
Suddenly, you hear some sort of clicking noise behind you. You turn, shining your headlight towards the noise. Your heart stopped. There was some sort of.. creature crawling towards you. It was winged,and massive. “Oh my god” you gasped. Jumping back. The creature shrieked, standing on two legs and bellowing an inhuman scream. “Fuck, fuck! We gotta move!” You heard Jason yell, in an instant your tiny group was racing down the corridor, being chased by whatever the hell that was. You rounded a corner, seeing collapsed debris over a small staircase, and a clear bath right next to it. “We gotta go through it!” Nick shouted. “The other ways safer, she can’t make it through-“ You cut Jason off irritably. “I don’t need my damn shoulder to jump.” You hissed, immediately hurdling over the collapsed pieces of structure. You didn’t mean to sound like a bitch, but now was not the time to be careful.
The boys followed close behind as you ran into a semi open area. Before you could even look around, something smashed into your side, knocking you to the ground. “Y/n!” You heard Nick shout as your back hit the floor. The winged creature was ontop of you, clawing at your face. You shielded yourself and tried to kick it off as best you could but to no avail, you pulled out your knife and started stabbing it in the chest. “Get it off!” You shrieked as Nick and Jason started shooting at it. the thing ran off, giving you time to scramble to your feet. You clutched your side in agony. “God I hate this place” you groaned, continuing to run down the tunnel. You ran as fast as you could, praying to whatever god was listening that there weren’t more ahead of you. You came to a corner. Stopping and pointing your weapon behind you down the hall.
“What the hell is going on?!” Nick shouted. “I don’t know man, it was not supposed to play out like this” Jason spoke shakily. “How the hell are we going to get out of-“ you were cut off by a voice over your earpiece. “Any call signs this is king, contact contact! Taking fire! Does anyone cope over!” You turned to look at Jason. “That’s Rachel!” Nick cried. “King, this is mailman 2-1 actual say again, over.” Jason said, holding his earpiece. No response. “king this is mailman 2-1 actual. How copy, over?!” Nothing. “Damn it!” He hissed, turning around and leading down the tunnel.
A little bit of time had passed, and all three of you had been walking for a while, in silence. Nick was the first to speak up. “I killed him” he choked out, “I fucking killed merwin” he let out a shaken breath. “It was an accident.” You and Jason said nearly in unisons. “Just like the woman at the checkpoint” he shook his head. “Don’t make shit weirder than it already is, clear your fucking mind!” Jason hollered. Making you jump a little.
“We need to find someplace to chill out for a second. Figure out a plan” you grumbled, turning a corner and seeing Eric, sobbing near a cliff. You felt so dizzy that you really didn’t care about Eric’s state of being. “Go see what’s up with him, I’ll keep watch” you said to Jason, who nodded and approached the colonel with Nick. You could hear Eric crying, but couldn’t make out any of the words. Everything hurt, your head was pounding, your shoulder felt like it was on fire, and your side was in excruciating pain. The creature that took you down must have broken a rib, or at the very least bruised one. You were still worried about Joey, hoping he was topside and safe.
“Rachel!” You jumped and ran towards your teammates at the sound of Nick yelling. “What the hell happened?” You said, looking between the three men. All of them were staring over the cliff. “No..” you stepped back. Shaking your head in disbelief, tears brimming your eyes. How could she be gone? You felt sick. “We gotta move, colonel we’re sitting ducks! We need to fall back, now.” Jason hollered. “Over there” Nick pointed towards what seemed to be a separate room, with huge doors. “Let’s go” you sighed, following Jason & nick. Eric was behind you.
“Scout, you’re bleeding” Eric exclaimed. Rushing to your side. “I’m fine, really, kolchek patched me up” you gave him a weak smile. “No, I mean you’re bleeding through the bandages.” “What?” You looked down, your shirt drenched in fresh blood. “Son of a bitch” you hissed, applying pressure. “Scout you don’t look so good..” Nick said warningly, walking closer to you with Jason beside him. “Gee, thanks sergeant, you really know how to make a girl feel special” you joked, trying to lighten the mood. You knew you’d eventually loose enough blood to weaken you, but you didn’t think it’d happen this quickly.
“Y/n seriously. Look at me.” Jason spoke up, and you did. “Jesus Christ” he breathed. Instantly putting your good arm over his shoulders. You tried to resist, but you were too tired. “Jason I’m fine, I can keep going.” You pleaded. You didn’t want to be dead weight. “Bullshit.” He grumbled. Picking you up and carrying you through the door. Everything faded to black.
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Flashback
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“Scout, hey! Um, hello? Earth to y/n?” You heard, picking your head up from your sketch pad to see Jason. “Oh hey kolchek. What’s up?” You were sitting on your bunk, relaxing after a long day of paperwork. “I said, Whatcha drawing there?” He chuckled. Sitting across from you. “I- um- nothing.” You said hurriedly, attempting to close your sketchbook, but he snatched it up to take a peek. “Jason!” You whined, trying to get it back. “No no! Let me see!” He laughed. Standing up and backing away so he could take a better look. “Well, we’ll miss y/l/n, something you need to tell me?” He teased. Holding it up and pointing at the half finished drawing of himself. He was standing in the briefing room, infront of a beautiful arched doorway. “I- no. What? No. I draw all of you I just- fuck this is awkward” you groaned. Covering your face with your hands. “Well?” He teased, raising his eyebrows with a grin on his face. “Jesus, Jason, I-“ you sighed. “I just like to draw you guys, that’s all” you looked up at him, praying he wouldn’t flip a page and see the one of him shirtless on the previous page. “I’m just teasin’, I think it’s pretty cool” he smiled, handing the sketch pad back. “Thanks” you smiled, taking the pad and setting it on your cot. “Next time though, you should draw one of us” he gulped, realizing what he just said. “You know, all of us” he said a little too quickly, causing you to raise an eyebrow. “Well well, mr kolchek, something you wanna tell me?” You teased, mocking him. You stood up, walking closer to him. The tension was growing thicker every second. “I-“ he was cut off by Joey coming into the room “guys, Merwin and Nick are gonna- woah. Am I interrupting something?” He said in shock, seeing you and Jason nearly chest-to-chest “nope, not at all, Cmon lieutenant” you hummed, following Joey out of your room. Jason just stood there, flustered and confused.
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dreadpegasus · 2 years
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Canon
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Salim: you often use humor to deflect trauma
Jason: thank you!
Salim: that is not a good thing.
Jason: what i’m hearing is you think i’m funny
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