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#incorrect hp quotes
Slytherin: I have an idea
Ravenclaw: No murder we'll get in trouble
Hufflepuff: ...
Slytherin: she was being a-
Hufflepuff: SLYTHERIN LANGUAGE
Gryffindor: English
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Regulus and Remus friendship:


They both are smart and they have a friendly competition to see who can get the best scores— Regulus excells in transfiguration and Remus in Charms, so they’ll take turn in competing on the subjects. James, Sirius, Peter, Lucius and Snape just watch them whirl like monsters in awe.

Magic machine go brrRRRRR

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Okay but imagine this:


Short Regulus Black who likes to steal other Slytherin’s robes when he’s cold and cuddles in them and the robes are like three sizes bigger because he’s like the smallest and most petite Slytherin in his year

(Usually Lucius or Snape are his victims)

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Sirius: It’s like my family and I are dead to each other

James: So that’s grim-mourn place for you then

Lily: oMg JaMeS nOw iS nOt tHe tIme!!!

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More Harry Potter Characters as John Mulaney Quotes

Draco Malfoy: I look back on being 17 and I think, oh my god, how did i not die?

Bellatrix Lestrange: I dont look older I just look worse.

Sirius Black: And in a brilliant moment of word association I yelled, Fuck da police!

Ginny Weasley: Im probably gay based on the way I’ve walked and talked for the past 39 years.

Dolores Umbridge: If you are a school student, your opinion doesn’t matter.

Cho Chang: I have a lot of stories about being a kid because it was the last time I was interesting.

Fred Weasley: Sometimes, people would say, what do you think you’re doing.

George Weasley: But that just meant stop. They didn’t actually wanna know my thought process.

Molly Weasley: She is a dynamite 5-foot, Jewish bitch, and she’s the best.

Arthur Weasley: You all have a relative who is an expert even though they don’t really know what they’re talking about.

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Remus : So …. you’re a Metamorphmagus…!!!

Tonks : Yes …

Remus : You can change your body however you want…???

Tonks : *wondering wich part of her body he’s thinking about changing*

Tonks : Go on , try me…

Remus : Can you do, say, a pig snout for a nose…???

Tonks : A what…!!!

Sirius : *smirking and nudging her with his elbow * Not what you expected, was it , cousin …???

Tonks : Not exactly, no, not with most gentlemen of my acquaintance

Sirius : Moony’s not like that , You don’t have to worry about him.“

Remus : *missing the joke*

I’m not like what…???

Sirius : Never you mind


Source:Kaleidoscope-1:Colours

By: shimotsuki

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Pansy *at a shopping mall*: Harry, what are you doing here?

Harry: Draco’s mad at me, so I’m buying him something

Pansy: Aw, you’re buying him that cute shirt?

Harry: Oh no, I’m buying him this whole mall

Pansy:

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