Remus: *shows a picture of him as a baby*
Sirius: YOU’RE SO CUTE
Sirius, squishing Remus’ cheeks: AND SO SMOL
Sirius, now smirking: Though you’re still at the same height
Marlene: You need to man up Sirius and ask Remus out
Sirius: Man up? sexist
Sirius: I don’t see gender, sir
James and Lily: *on a date*
Sirius: I WON’T
Sirius: I WON’T ACCEPT IT
Ron: I won’t talk to you ever again!
*two hours later*
Ron: lmao look Hermione Malfoy’s a ferret
ginny: *runs in, out of breath and panicked*
neville: what happended?!
ginny: no one died!
neville: WHAT KIND OF AWNSER IS THAT-
Ron: Is stabbing someone immortal?
Ginny: Not if they consent to it
Fred: Depends on who you’re stabbing
That’s all I can think of lol but y’all better stan these underrated lesbians😌
charlie: lily, have you found out how to travel to a paranormal universe?
lily: would i be here if i could?!
Remus: You got detention for what?
Sirius: Chasing a cat.
Remus: Please don’t tell me it was McGonagall.
Sirius: You said not to tell!
Sirius: *dials 911*
Sirius: I hate to be “that guy” but I glued myself to the ceiling again
remus: you exploit me for notes
sirius: i exploit you out of pure unadulterated love
remus: well that’s a bit gay
Harry: Hey, I’m Harry, what’s your name?
Draco: I’m Draco, D as in dreamy, R as in rich, A as in attractive, C as in charming, and O as in ‘Oh my god please do me, Harry’
Ravenclaw: [texting Slytherin at 3am]
Slytherin: [texting Ravenclaw] dude, why are you still up?
Ravenclaw: [texting Slytherin] why are YOU still up?!
Slytherin: [texting Ravenclaw] touché
An actual conversation I have had with my math teacher…
rose: you guys are such stereotype for a ravenpuff relationship.
charlie: no we are not!
lily: yes we are.
alice: case in point.
Percy: Sometimes I feel like dying
Percy: But then I remember I won’t be able to see you
Penny: *heart eyes and smiles*
Oliver: Sometimes I feel like dying
Marcus: Good for you
Hermione: When I was small-
rose: lily, who would you save if charlie and i were drowning?
lily: you can’t swim?! idiot.
charlie: it’s a hypothetical question! who would you save?
lily: my time and effort. if you can’t swim-honestly, what the hell?!
charlie: i’m your bloody girlfriend-
Remus: So, your parents will arrange you to marry some pureblood girl?
Sirius: They want to, but I don’t see it going down that way.
James: Is it because you don’t enjoy going down that way?
Draco: How long does it take to start hallucinating from sleep deprivation?
Hermione: I think-
Harry: 72 hours
Draco: How do you-
Harry: There’s a dragon behind you
Harry: Maybe, maybe I’m dreaming. Hermione, pinch me.
Hermione: [Pinches Harry]
Harry: Hey, not my bum!
Hermione, not apologetic at all: Sorry it was just right there.