Tony: I’m willing to do a lot of things,
Tony: But admitting to Pepper that I’m cold after she told me to bring a jacket is not one of them.
Tony: So kid, anybody you like at school?
Peter: Well I sexually identify as a mistake so what does that say?
Tony: That says “another tharapy appointment.”
Peter: you have no idea what I’m capable of Mr Stark!
Tony: I literally feel like I’m being threatened by a cupcake.
Peter: *pulls Tony down to his level* well this cupcake is made with cyanide, you little shit
Peter : i put an egg in the freezer .
Tony : why ?
Peter : its for science .
Tony : what science ???
Peter : the science of seeing what a frozen egg looks like .
Howard: you’re a disappointment.
Tony: yOu’Re A dIsApPoInTmEnT
Steve: Tony, do not, under any circumstances, do the thing.
Tony, out of sight, currently in the process of doing the thing: Steve, please. I would never.
Thor: Brother, do not, under any circumstances, do the thing.
Loki, out of sight, currently in the process of doing the thing: Brother, please. I would never.
Tony: When I die, donate my entire body to science.
Tony: Except for my middle finger.
Tony: Give that to Hammer.
Interviewer: Would you say you’re independent?
Tony: *looks at Pepper*
Tony: i can catch every fish in the sea but one thing i’ll never catch is a fucking break
Tony : we tried things your way .
Peter : no we didn’t .
Tony : I did in my head and it didn’t work .
Peter: black hole? i think you mean the ultimate succ
Tony: how did you get in my house
Tony, answering the phone: hello, who is this?
Villain: the person who’s trying to kill you
Tony: OK you’re gonna have to be a bit more specific here bud-
Peter: Mr. Stark? Did you know that snails have, like, over 2,000 teeth?
Tony: Why would I need to know that, Pete?
Peter: I dunno. Because it’s interesting?
Tony: Is it even true?
Peter: *Seriously* I would never lie about snails, Mr. Stark.
Tony: *Exaustedly* I- You’re right. I’m sorry I questioned you.
Tony: The sun’s getting real low, buddy
Hulk: Fuck you
tony, rollerblading into rhodey’s house with a pineapple shirt that says “bitches” and a margarita: you will not believe what pepper just said to me
tony: *breathes in their direction*
villain: and that is why, 50 years later, i have come for everything and anything that tony loves