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#incorrect irondad quotes
bisexual-chupacabra · 13 days ago
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Shuri: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling?
Peter: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Y/N?
Y/N: Probably “road work ahead”.
Tony: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.
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stuckonylove · 2 months ago
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Peter: So tonight I was thinking we could stay up late playing checkers and say all the things we like about each other
Kidnapper, crying: Stark paid the ransom 3 days ago, please go home
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incorrectmarvelquote · 2 months ago
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Peter: [comes into the lab late at night] Hey, can we talk?
Tony: [instantly panics] Yeah, sure? What’s going on?
Peter: If ‘mono’ means ‘one, and ‘poly’ means ‘two’
Peter: What the fuck does Monopoly mean?
Tony: Pete, what the fuck-
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funkylittlebidiot · a month ago
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Peter: we have a word for a romantic interest “crush” and a word for platonic interest, “squish”.
Peter: but what about a word for mentor interest? Like how do I tell SOMEONE I want them to teach me, make me a better person, and love me like the son they never had???
Harley: just hack into his computer and put his digital signature on your adoption papers. Tony’s been my legal guardian for three months and he doesn’t have a clue.
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funnyincorrectmcu · 2 months ago
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Peter: You know what I’m most excited for when I turn 18? Tony: Uh...voting, probably? Peter: No. Jury duty. Tony: ...seriously? Peter: Yes! Sitting in an air conditioned room, downtown, judging people, while my lunch is paid for? That is the life! Tony: … Tony: You know what, fair enough.
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Tony: What are the rules of Monopoly?
Peter: If the game lasts over 4 hours you get the legal right to kill the person who asked to play.
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incorrectmarvelquote · 14 days ago
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Peter: I told Mr Stark to chill and he said ‘I am chill’ and I said ‘I thought you were Mr Stark’
Peter: I dad-joked Mr Stark! I am the revolution!
Tony: Hello revolution, I’m Mr Stark
Peter:
Peter: A bitter defeat
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losingmymindtonight · 2 years ago
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Rhodey: hey Tones I’m going to the store can I get you anything
Tony: my will to live
Rhodey: Peter’s at school but I mean I can pick him up later if you want
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incorrectmarvelquote · 2 months ago
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Peter: [appears in Tony’s field of vision]
Tony [inside]: My favourite human has arrived. He is cute and smart and my favourite. I must greet him in a manner indicative of my appreciation for his existence.
Tony: Hey nerd
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jesslcaday · 3 years ago
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peter: you wanna hear a chemistry joke?
tony: ...
peter: so.. is that a no.?
tony: oh sorry, did you want a .... reaction
peter: *starts crying*
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Incorrect Marvel Quotes
Peter: Why are people so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I would be excited just to have a bunk bed.
Tony: …
Pepper: …
Tony: I’m gonna tell him.
Pepper: Don’t you dare!
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