Jaune: They don’t know about my knife stick. It’s a knife taped to a stick, the ultimate weapon.
Ren: Hey, what’s Jaune doing?
Jaune, hitting his head against the wall: Angst! Angst! Angst! Angst!
Nora: He’s a little off today, haven’t you noticed?
Imagine one day Nora just wakes up and tells her boys “we’re gonna celebrate my birthday today” (because, as an orphan, she probably doesn’t know when that crap actually is).
And then Ren is like “Nora, you said that five months ago.”
And Nora’s like, “I just don’t understand why we only take ONE DAY a year to celebrate ourselves. I think I deserve at least four.”
Ren: “No, this has gone on for too long. Just pick a day.”
Nora: “Well I don’t know! When are your guys’?”
Jaune: “June 6”
Oscar: “November 20”
Ren: “March 10”
Nora, pulling out calendar: “… so, strategically, for maximum party opportunity, I should put my birthday in, like, August or September.”
Ren: *drags hands down his face*
Jaune: *is helping Nora find the day of equalibrium*
Oscar: “I just want to grow up.” 🥲
“I defy the laws of science. I can eat all fifty of those pancakes and not gain a pound. Wanna see?”
-Nora, the Pancake Queen
Jaune: Love is a fucking scam. Eat a mango, bitch.
Jaune: Last statement? Cancelled. Love is real. Eat a mango with someone you love. Oscar, bro, come here!
JNPR group chat
Oscar: Jaune, Ren, Nora! I’ve decided to live on my own!
Ren: I…I dont know…
Jaune: Congrats on starting your independent life!
Oscar: Thank you
Oscar: By the way - I’ve already packed your bags! They are by the door!
Jaune: I have a problem with this person who’s been bullying me…
Pyrrha: Kill them.
Pyrrha: I’ll kill them :)
Jaune: While you were gone us boy joined a cult
Jaune: FURBY FURBY FURBY FURBY FURBY
Jaune: WE NEED WE NEED WE NEED JESUS
Nora: I’m proud of you babe
Jaune: Join us…
Nora: I’ll think about it :’)
probably when she was angry as a child
Nora: *making a cup of coffee*
Ren: Nora, what are you doing? You better not be making coffee.
Ren: Nora! Its 5pm!
Nora: It’s 4 am somewhere!
Jaune: *trying to figure out where it would be 4 am*
Nora: Jaune, its literally 5am on the other side of the world right now…
Jaune: I’m about to scare my girlfriend [puts on a mask]
Jaune: [waits 30 seconds] …
Jaune: I forgot, I don’t have one [takes off the mask and walks away]
Jaune: I had control until I lost control
Jaune: Man, I need something to squish. Like a stressball.
Nora: Here you are.
Jaune: Nora this is an orange.
Pyrrha: Here you are! ;P
Jaune: Pyrrha, this is your boob.
Pyrrha: I ~knooooow
Weiss, pointing to Jaune’s food: What the heck is that?
Jaune, eating: It’s called a poutine.
Yang: The hell’s a poutine?
Jaune: Fries, gravy and cheese curds all in one.
Ruby and Nora: *drooling*
Glynda: Be a teacher, they said. It’ll be fun, they said.
Jaune: PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT!
Nora: I CAN’T, IT’S TOO BIG TO SMOTHER!
Yang: GO GET THE ANTI-FLAMETHROWER!
Weiss: IT’S CALLED A FIRE EXTINGUISHER YOU DUMBASS-
Ruby, Pyrrha, Blake and Ren, screaming as something explodes:
Glynda, sighing: Don’t listen to them. Don’t.
Clover: My team only eats organic food.
Jaune: That’s nice.
Jaune: My team eats candy off the floor.