life advice: by kaz brekker
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“i recommend a cane” bf “then i’ll take my knife back” gf
ofc they are soulmates
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Inej; Kaz, I’m a little concerned.
Kaz, covered in cuts, bruises, and a gunshot wound: Is it because I’ve been wearing these pants for seven months straight? I’m gonna wash them this weekend, I swear.
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Inej: You’ve never once done jury duty or paid your taxes.
Kaz: Not until gay marriage is legal everywhere.
Kaz: And I stand by that.
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Inej: Kaz...
Kaz: oh shit, ‘Kaz' in B-flat.
Kaz: you're disappointed.
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Inej: *comforting Kaz before she leaves Ketterdam* What do you normally do when I'm gone?
Kaz: Wait for you to get back
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Kaz: My most treasured posession is a little note with a reminder Inej left me. It helps me when I'm stressed.
Jesper: Aw, that's so sweet. What does it say?
Kaz, reading: "Shut, and I cannot stress this enough, the fuck up. Love, Inej."
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Inej: we all have our demons.
Inej: *pointing at Kaz* and that one’s mine
Kaz: *smiles*
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“How is he so f!cking hot?! And respectful?!” But it’s me talking about Kaz Brekker literally murdering someone for Inej and then turning around and saying he “protects his investments”…
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kaz during parent teacher conference:
*kaz on the phone*: i told you to take him out back not through the club what the fuck did i hire you for? *violently hangs up*
kaz: sorry where were we?
principle: your daughter has been expressing violent behavior in class lately.
kaz: doubtful, she wouldn't hurt a fly
*looks out the window to see inej jr. throwing blades instead of softballs*
kaz: aw... i wonder who she learned that from :)
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Kaz, standing with his back turned: I’ve been expecting you, Inej.
Inej: How did you do that without turning around?
Kaz: ... To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you.
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Kaz: I really want to kiss you.
Inej, who was previously distracted: Wait, what?
Kaz, sweating: I SAID IF YOU DIE I WON’T MISS YOU.
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Inej: What are we doing?
Kaz: Wasting our lives.
Inej: I meant for lunch.
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[kanej and wesper double date]
jesper and wylan: *eat the chicken and there is the last one*
jesper and wylan: *look at each other*
*magic music plays*
vs
kaz and inej: *eat the chicken and there is the last one*
kaz and inej: give me back this damn piece of chicken or say goodbye to a calm life
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Kaz: *Takes off his shirt and washes himself*
Inej: I am looking, respectfully
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Inej: When was the last time you slept?
Kaz: I sneezed the other day and my eyes closed for a second.
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