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#incorrect kate kane
incorrectbatfam · 6 months
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Selina: What do you want to be for Halloween?
Kate: Respected.
Alfred: Appreciated.
Bruce: At peace.
Selina: ...I was gonna be a cat.
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justapersonwhitaname · 2 months
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Kate Kane: Tim, now that you come out as bi, now I will be your gay mentor.
Tim: Sorry Kate... But I already have a fairy gayfather.
Kate:
Kate: You Little shi-
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iwannabealice · 2 months
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part 2
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[in the batcave]
Bruce: [checking off names on a clipboard like a middle-school class trip chaperone] …Jason, Kate, and Duke. That’s everyone. [checks the list again] where’s Tim? It’s unusual for him to be late.
Everyone: [looks around in confusion]
Bruce: [sighs] someone call him
Babs: already calling
[tense silence as the phone rings]
Tim: [on speaker phone] yeah?
Bruce: [immediately] we have a meeting scheduled. Where are you?
Dick: [leans forward towards the phone] are you ok?
Tim: [on speaker phone] shit. Look, I don’t think I’ll be able to make it
Bruce: [tiredly] why not?
Tim: [on speakerphone] uhm… it’s kind of hard to explain
Kate: [smirking] are you on a date?
—in another part of town-
Tim: [glancing to his left where Bernard is watching an abandoned storefront through binoculars, waiting for Batman to emerge from the hideout Bernard concluded must be on this street from an algorithm he made up]
Tim: I-
Tim: I’m not really sure
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Damian Wayne has started volunteering at the animal hospital. He loves it there to the point where he is determined to become a veterinarian. He has also started to help at the Gotham Wayne family animal rescue. He has raised lots of funds and is activity involved in the care of the animals. He himself has also adopted many of them and has plans on expanding the Gotham animal sanctuary and shelters. His brothers, sister, and other family members are also deeply involved in this endeavor especially his mother who has has her own animal sanctuary/hospital and donates and fundraises for many organizations helping any and all animals in need. Damian’s step mother Selina is also heavily involved like his mother but she is also a very big contributor to helping eradicate poaching and the illegal sale and ownership of animals. 
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rainnyydaysworld · 4 months
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Reader: Did you hear that!? Dick just threatened to destroy my lego AT-AT!
Duke: ...You just threatened to kill them in their sleep.
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Reader: Shut up, you’re messing with my train of thought!
Damian: I thought you didn’t have a brain and now you say you have thoughts?
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Squad reactions to being called straight:
Kate: The fuck, no I'm not.
Steph: Excuse the hell out of you?
Tim: Ding dong, you are wrong!
Reader: Who told you that? And why did they lie?
Duke: Rude.
Jason: *punches the person*
(This one is pretty short.)
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dc-and-damirae · 1 year
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tim: I haven’t slept for 39 hours. I’ll fight god in a Denny's parking lot
batwoman: kid, you need to go to sleep
tim: whenever I pass out is entirely up to the gods
jason: well that or this fire extinguisher
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kimberly-spirits13 · 6 months
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Steph, Babe, Cass, and Kate driving through Gotham streets with “Bejeweled” or some Taylor Swift song terrorizing rouges
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vivianthepigeon · 2 months
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Batfam as quotes from my life (with little to no context) pt 10
Kate: “Screw women”
Bruce: “You want to.”
Jason: “Sorry I made that uncomfortable. It’s one of my many talents”
Steph: “That’s hot.”
Tim: “THATS MY GRANDPA”
Steph: *face goes red and hides himself*
Tim: “HES DEAD-“
Dick: “Yk I told dad once, Dad just so you know, I am so grateful for you and I love you so much and he just kept on walking”
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shyjusticewarrior · 9 months
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DC Comics Incorrect Quotes Pt 92
Steph: Maybe this is our version of Treat Yo Self Day and he needs to do his version.
Steph: Damian, if you could blow big money on one thing, what would it be?
Damian: *ponders*
[Later]
Damian: *wearing a custom Batman costume*
Kate: They don't take "no" as an answer and then they also don't take "I'm a lesbian" as an answer.
Bernard: I always take I'm a lesbian for an answer no matter what the question is.
Tim: No matter what the question is. You can say that shit on jeopardy. "What is I'm a lesbian." And then Trebek's like "yup, got it again. God, you're doing really great."
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vodrae · 6 months
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Cassandra : *Launches the Hellbat suit and fly into space*
Bruce : Where is she going ??
Steph: *On her phone* She said she's gonna fight the moon because it wont stop following her at night.
Bruce, Jason,Barbara, Dick, Duke, Damian,Tim, Harper, Cullen, Kate, Harley : Finally someone doing it.
Clark : You could have just ask.
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incorrectbatfam · 7 months
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Selina, dressed as Morticia Addams: Ah, my fated one, this season fills me with such wicked joy. It reminds me of the day you asked me to be your wife.
Bruce, dressed as Gomez Addams: Or that time Alfred let me burn all those old Batmobiles.
Duke, dressed in a Lord of the Rings cosplay: Get a room!
Selina: Duke, you're supposed to wear a Halloween costume.
Duke: But I really like being an elf. And it's better than Damian's costume.
Bruce: Why? What's Damian wear—
Damian, wearing Bruce's oversized coat: I am Father for Halloween.
Bruce, choking up: It's perfect.
Duke, muttering: Suck up.
Stephanie, entering dressed as Jack Skellington: Hey guys! Are you ready to pull off people’s thumbs for Halloween?
Cassandra, dressed as Sally: Yay, thumbs!
Barbara, dressed as a pumpkin: She means trick or treat.
Kate, watching: Alfred, they do know it's October 6th, right?
Alfred: Try telling them that. Or try telling it to—
Dick, dressed as Harley Quinn: HAPPY HALLOWEEN, NERDS!
Jason, dressed as Deadpool: Yeah, Halloween!
Tim, dressed as Robin: Yeah, nerds!
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crybabylulu · 10 months
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This is correct and no I will not take criticism pt 6
Harley: *busting into the Batcave* Brucie! Brucie!
Bruce: * turns in his chair to look at her*
Harley: you’ll never guess what I heard?
Bruce: what Harleen I’m busy *turns back to the bat computer*
Harley: too busy for gossip Brucie?
Bruce: *turns to her* I’m listening
Harley: I heard from the grapevine your cousin is out here flirting with kitty cat while she still messing with that cop lady down at the gcpd
Bruce: *eyes widen* I KNEW IT! Selina told me I was just being paranoid
Harley: ooo not her gaslighting you
Bruce: does Renee know?
Harley: nope
Bruce: *turns to the computer and starts typing up a letter*
Harley: Brucie?
Bruce: what kind of person would I be if I let this poor women suffer?
Harley: YOURE SO MESSY! I love it! I’ll drop the letter off!
*bonus*
*the bat kids heard everything*
Stephanie: not aunty Kate being a cheater
Damian: she’s not your aunty
Stephanie: shut up
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waterfire1848 · 8 months
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[ Jason making a video for other super hero groups. ]
Jason:  Welcome to the Batcave, everyone. My name is Jason, I'm one of the members of the Batfamily. Tonight we thought we would send you backstage, surprise the rest of the family, and let you see what it's like. Now, it takes a well-oiled machine to keep this city safe every day. But with years of experience under our belts, we've got it down to an exact science, so, let's go take a look. Come on. Jason: So, one of the- [ Dick comes running past him while Damian follows him with an extinguisher. ] Dick: Ah! Ah! Jason: Don't worry about that. They will probably- Barbara: Jason! We have a problem. Tim stayed up for three nights straight and now he's... [ She points up. Tim is on the ceiling. ] Tim: Who are you? Where are my pants? Duke: Where are his pants? [ They're on the computer. ] Stephanie: Jason! Have you seen it? Jason: Seen what? Stephanie: There is a devil raccoon somewhere here in this cave! It got here when Kate quit and left! Jason: Wait! Kate quit! Barbara: Yeah, she split after the curling iron caught fire and burned Cass's outfit. Cass, holding her Black Bat costume: It's not that bad, right? Duke: No. It doesn't look horribly burnt at all. [ Tim jumps down. ] Tim: Ah! Duke: How did you put your pants on!? Stephanie, jumping on the raccoon: There it is! Duke: Stephanie, be careful. Steph! Barbara: Does anyone know where Tim went? [ Tim is in the Batmobile. ] Barbara: Harper! Go out and find him! Stephanie: Someone needs to cover my patrol tonight. The raccoon got my hands. Barbara: Wait! Wait! Jason, is that camera rolling?
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bibibusinessman · 2 months
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Steph totally has this plus a wide variety of animal onesies. For Christmas she buys the entire batfam matching shark onesies. They wear them all the time. Don’t let Bruce find out they make bat ones.
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arrowmaker15 · 3 months
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(Batman and Batwoman in the Batcave interrogation room)
Batman: Why are you here?
Lord Death-Man: To be your greatest nyemesis!
Batwoman, looking at Batman: Really?
Also Batwoman, turning to Lord Death-Man: And what special skills would you use to do that?
Lord Death-Man: I would use my mastery of yyyyoga.
Batman:
Batwoman:
Batman:...yoga?
Lord Death-Man: And my excellent memorization of all Pokémon and their evolutions!
Batwoman:
Batwoman: Hood!
Red Hood, kicking the door open, gun in hand: On it!
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