Klaus: *Signs a legal document with a glitter gel pen*
Diego: s[he] be[lie]ve[d]
Ben: He lied
Diego: What’s the signal if something goes wrong?
Klaus: How about “Oh shit"?
Diego: That’s good.
jesper: mogens taught me how to shoot a harpoon earlier today. i think i can really handle myself in the face of danger!
mogens: besides, nothings hotter than a man who can put me out of my misery.
luther: i don’t know what to be for halloween…
klaus : i mean, you could just be yourself? you look like a furry, so?
hazel : so, we’re going to torture you
klaus : ok, let’s do this.. but can i say something before?
cha-cha : yes?
klaus : cha-cha
klaus : real smooth
klaus : you called me useless! you called me incompetent!
vanya : i’ve never called you that?
klaus : well, someone said it to me yesterday. wait… oh sorry, it was five.
Diego: Klaus can take care of himself.
Diego, from the other side of the world: Oh MY GOD, ARE YOU OK? I’ll be there within the hour!
Luther: I think I’m dying inside.
Diego: Then suffer in silence.
Klaus: You have to learn to love yourself.
Vanya: But don’t you hate yourself?
Klaus: Yeah but this is about you. Stay focused.
Diego: Morning Klaus…..what are you drinking?
Diego: Really? It doesn’t smell like water
Klaus: It’s imported water
Diego: Uh huh… imported form where?
Diego: Are you drinking vodka at nine in the morning?
Klaus: its nine-thirty
Diego: what’s the dumbest thing you ever did?
Dave: your brother
Diego: if you’ll excuse me I’m gonna go bleach that image out of my brain
Klaus: Hostage or not, sometimes it’s just nice to be held.
Hazel: Are you okay-
Klaus: you don’t even care about me, what if I died?
Five: you’d have a funeral
Klaus: I mean what would you do?
Five:…go to the funeral?