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#incorrect lotr quotes
incorrect-lotr-trash · 8 hours ago
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Waiter: and what will you be having? Frodo: the unborn Sam, quickly cutting in: -EGGS, he wants the eggs
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lotrcp · a day ago
Gandalf: This is Peregrin Took, and I promise you he couldn’t hurt a fly.
Pippin: Thanks, Gandalf!
Gandalf: Because the fly would outwit him.
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hetaczechia · 2 days ago
Gimli: Hey do you wanna- Stop screaming it's just me, do you wanna go to a shooting range?
Legolas: I AM IN THE SHOWER
Gimli: as if i haven't seen your ass before. Anyways do you wanna go or not.
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Pippin: I'm Pippin. That's not my real name though, it's just a nickname.
Elrond: What's Pippin short for?
Gandalf: He's a hobbit.
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meteors-lotr · 10 months ago
Aragorn on some kingly meeting: My policy is, if you see something, say something
Pippin, who somehow managed to make his way into the meeting without getting kicked out: I saw a squirrel in a tree today!
Aragorn, chill af: Outstanding
Aragorn: This is what I'm talking about people
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gamgeesgarden · 5 months ago
Bilbo: Thorin was getting on my nerves today, so I told him I can't wait to see what he has planned for our special day tomorrow.
Bilbo: There is nothing special about tomorrow.
Bilbo: But there is something special about watching the color leave his face as the panic takes over.
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catboychuuuya · a year ago
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a thing that will forever amuse me is the movie fandom's depiction of the relationship between gandalf and pippin. like "haha old man is annoyed by younger man" is funny on its own but what most of them don't know is:
gandalf is an entity, an angelic being taking up human form who is older than time itself. pippin 'i exist to spite god' took is like 17. this is a teenager constantly fucking up an ancient being.
pippin is the biggest minor inconvenience in gandalf's life.
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livielfinarfiniel · 2 months ago
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Elrond: We need to talk about your professionalism.
Glorfindel: *standing on top of the dinner table with Erestor, Arwen, Elladan, Elrohir and Estel* Those are some bold words from a man standing in lava.
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Gandalf: *secretly collecting all the balrog XP to level up*
Boromir: *dies*
Frodo & Sam: *sharing in a coming of age buddy film plot*
Merry & Pippin: *kidnapped by orcs*
Legolas, Aragorn & Gimli: let’s go hunt some orcs :)
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incorrect-lotr-trash · 3 months ago
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Frodo: Sam, you deserve an award for putting up with me. Sam: You ARE my award, Frodo. Thorin: ....... *some time later* Thorin: Bilbo, you deserve an award for putting up with me. Bilbo: Yeah, you're a real bitch sometimes.
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lotrcp · 2 days ago
Strider: Very clever, Mr. Underhill, Very clever indeed. I see I underestimated you.
Pippin: And me.
Strider: No, not you.
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hetaczechia · 3 days ago
Frodo, walking in the living room: I need a shot, either straight from the bottle or straight from a gun. I don't even care at this point
Sam: that's it, I'm going to set an appointment with a therapist
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Galadriel: Woman? No, you misheard.
Galadriel: I'm an OMEN.
Galadriel: I don't identify as male or female.
Galadriel: I identify as a warning.
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meteors-lotr · 3 months ago
Thorin: What the fuck? People actually tell their crushes they like them??
Dwalin: What the hell do you do?
Thorin: I die? What kinda question...
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elvish-sky · 8 months ago
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Aragorn, setting down a card: Ace of spades
Legolas, pulling out an Uno card: +4
Gimli, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you
Eomer, trembling: What are we playing
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