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#incorrect lotr quotes
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Pippin: I'm Pippin. That's not my real name though, it's just a nickname.
Elrond: What's Pippin short for?
Gandalf: He's a hobbit.
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meteors-lotr · 6 months ago
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Aragorn on some kingly meeting: My policy is, if you see something, say something
Pippin, who somehow managed to make his way into the meeting without getting kicked out: I saw a squirrel in a tree today!
Aragorn, chill af: Outstanding
Aragorn: This is what I'm talking about people
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incorrect-lotr-trash · 11 months ago
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Frodo, looking at a map: It’s a barren, featureless wasteland out there, isn’t it?
Sam: Other side, Frodo
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Boromir: So...who is Legolas to you? Aragorn says you're dating, but you guys always fight.
Gimli: Legolas is the reason I wake up every morning.
Boromir: Aw...
- Every Morning -
Legolas, banging pans together: GET UP BITCH!! RISE AND SHINE!! TIME TO FIGHT SOME ORCS!!
Gimli: If it weren't for the laws of this land-
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sauronnaise · a year ago
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Elrond: Men are weak.
Thranduíl: Of course. Who tore Sauron's hand from his wrist and took the Ring with him? A Man. Who shot Smaug to death? A Man. Who slayed Ancalagon the Black? A Man.
Legolas: Wow Ada, I never thought you would-
Thranduíl: As long as I can disagree with Elrond.
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incorrect-lotr-trash · 9 months ago
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Kidnapper: *putting more duct tape over Pippin’s mouth* I said stop eating it
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Aragorn: Ok, I’m gonna need you to swear-
Gimli: Fuck.
Aragorn:
Aragorn: Swear as in promise.
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Merry: Could you lot at least TRY to see this from my perspective?
Theoden, Eowyn and Eomer: *crouch down*
Legolas: *kneels down*
Aragorn: *sits on the floor*
Merry:
Merry:
Merry: I hate all of you.
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boromirthedad · 2 years ago
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Frodo, standing on a tall rock, holding his hands to his mouth like a megaphone: all of the birds died in the first age due to sauron killing them and replacing them with spies that are now watching us. t h e b i r d s w o r k f o r t h e b o u r g e o i s i e
Aragorn: frodo please we have to keep goi-
Sam: let him finish
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Bilbo, looking at Thorin: Why are heroes backstories always so tragic?
Gandalf: Because happy people don't feel the need to go out and HUNT DRAGONS.
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meteors-lotr · 9 months ago
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Bilbo: I just like strong, silent types, you know?
Thorin: [quietly lifts a table in the background]
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Faramir: Send dudes.
Éowyn:
Éowyn: You mean 'nudes'?
Faramir: No, I'm in a fight. I need more men.
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sauronnaise · a year ago
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Galadriel, when giving gifts to the fellowship:
Galadriel: *speaks Sindarin* Tell me, how's everybody doing in Rivendell?
Aragorn: The twins have started sword fighting workshops; Elrond sometimes has migraines; Erestor is grumpy because his favourite coffee has to be shipped from Harad and he's impatient; Glorfindel now dresses like a Hobbit; and Lindir sent him to Mirkwood to see if King Thranduíl would adopt his new fashion trend.
Boromir & Sam: The Elven language is beautiful, I could listen to it forever.
Legolas: Myeah...
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