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#incorrect maria hill quotes
incorrectwandanat · 2 months
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peter, in tears: i saw you with natasha yesterday, holding hands.
reader: it's not what it looks like-
peter: YOU SAID YOU LOVED HER!
reader: BECAUSE I'M DATING HER!
peter: no best-friend-feelings?
reader: no, just love love. like i’m married to her type of love.
peter: ok...i’m still your best friend?
reader: yeah, course.
peter and reader hugging:
natasha, pepper, wanda and maria watching from the kitchen: what the-
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manhattanminute2 · 8 months
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Avengers reactions to being called straight:
Carol: The fuck, no I'm not.
Maria Hill: Excuse the hell out of you?
Valkyrie: Ding dong, you are wrong!
Wanda: Who told you that? And why did they lie?
Kate: Rude.
Natasha: *punches the person*
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esmerxyaugusta · 2 months
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[ maria coming back from a mission ]
nat: are you okay? are you hurt?
maria: *shaking her head* but i think i need sleep
nat: what, why? we have a date tonight *pouts*
maria: blood loss
nat: I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WEREN'T INJURED
maria: i mean my period, vagina blood loss
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gingiesworld · 9 months
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Y/N: I'm a little teapot
Yelena: Short and stout.
Wanda: Who let those two drink?
Y/N: Here is my handle
Yelena: Here is my spout
Nat: I needed entertainment. This party is boring.
Y/N and Yelena: Tip me over and pour me out.
Maria: It's a movie night Nat, not a party
Nat: Tell me you aren't entertained.
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incorrectquotesmcu · 2 months
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Maria: Do you see anything?
Y/N: Just trees. And some bushes… and two squirrels wrestling!
Maria: … Y/N…
Y/N: Yeah?
Maria: They’re not wrestling…
Y/N: …Oh…
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mamaspidershit · 28 days
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Peter: What’s something you guys are better than Natasha at? Clint: Mario Kart. Yelena: Yeah, video games. Maria: Emotional vulnerability.
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scarlettblip · 16 days
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Natasha: can you imagine if a centipede wore flip flops? They’d be so loud
Maria: are you drunk?
Natasha: no
Maria: that’s what concerns me
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marvelsdc22 · 1 year
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Y/N: "I'm the real Y/N!"
Y/N Clone: "No, I'm the real Y/N!"
Maria: "Who are we shooting?"
Natasha: "There's only one way to tell... What is 7 x 4?"
Y/N Clone: "28!"
Natasha*Shooting the clone*: "Wrong answer"
Maria: "What? 7 x 4 is 28"
Natasha: "Yeah, but Y/N does the little finger thing"
Y/N*Counting on their fingers*: "28!"
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incorectquoteswlw · 2 months
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Yelena: Kate said she'd date me, sends me pictures, flirts a lot too, but I don't know if she is actually interested in me. What do you think she means?
Nat:
Nat: she said she would date you?
Yelena: yes-
Nat: and you don't know if she likes you like that?
Yelena: well, no-
Nat, burying her head in her hands: I hate gay people so much
Yelena: but you're married to Maria-
Nat: So. Much.
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loislame84 · 2 months
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*coming back empty handed from a stakeout*
Maria: why is it always you two?
Kate: I’m my defense… I was left unsupervised.
Maria: Yelena was with you the whole time.
Yelena: in my defense… I am just one person and she kept staring at my ass the whole time. You left us unsupervised. This is on you.
Kate: in support of her defense… you are the one who gave us these new tactical suits.
Maria: get out of my office.
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teaaagan · 8 months
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Dive
*Maria and Y/N enter a dive bar*
Maria: Look, I know you’re disappointed but could we at least have a drink?
Y/N, in a scuba diving suit: I would like to leave, please. 
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fandomnerd9602 · 4 days
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Agent Hill x Y/N kissing/celebrating the Avengers win against Loki and Fury catches them
Maria gently hits the wall, her legs wrapped around Y/N’s hips…
The two of them kiss over and over again…
Y/N: talk about a hero’s welcome
Maria: well hero, don’t ever do that again
Y/N: I’m an Avenger now, babe
Fury: ahem
The two turn to see Fury glaring…
Fury: if you two are together now, I would hope you’d name me uncle of your future kids
Maria: already had that planned
Fury: then proceed
Fury walks away as Y/N and Maria continue their make out session…
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checkingoutforheroes · 9 months
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It hurts.
Natasha: It is clean. I cleaned it already.
Y/n: Oh really? You’re saying these aren’t muds? 
Natasha: I clean the other boots I guess. In my defends, it was dark that time.
Y/n: Why didn’t you switch on the light then? 
Natasha wraps her arms around you from behind and kisses your neck: Because you are the light of my life. I don’t need any switch.
Y/n: You’re cute. Just admit it, it’s okay. I’m not mad. Just admit that you want me to clean your boots. I’m happy to do it for you and Yelena. 
Natasha: No need to do it for Yelena. She’s a grown woman. 
Y/n chuckle: And yet you are my baby. She’s your sister Nat, my family too. 
Natasha: Can’t wait to know if the procedure are working. We’re having our own little family, love. 
Y/n: Nat...
Natasha: I promise I will take care and protect of our family. Even if something happen, I will make sure Yelena will watch over you and our kid. She have to. 
Y/n’s tears starts falling: Don’t say that! You going to be fine. You always are. You always come home after mission and I’ll be waiting for you. Doesn’t matter how long, be a week, months, years. 
Yelena from far: Y/n?
Y/n: I’ll be waiting for you, to come home. 
Yelena: Y/n..
Y/n: You come home.
Yelena, switch on another lights, to acknowledge her present. She knows Y/n is having another episode and sadly can’t do anything to help her sister in-law except for support: Y/n. 
Y/n, back to reality: Yelena. You, do you need something? You hungry? I can help reheat the leftover for you. 
Yelena, sat next to Y/n: No Y/n, I’m not hungry, thank you. What are you doing? 
Y/n, try to smile: Oh, I just cleaning Natasha’s boots. Always gets dirty after her missions and she’s too lazy to clean it herself. 
Yelena: Y/n.. 
Y/n: Yeah? 
Yelena: That’s my boot. Oh Y/n... 
Y/n looking at the boot and starts breaking and Yelena hugs immediately: I miss her. I miss her so much, it hurts! It hurt Yelena... I lost everyone. I lost her, I can’t find Wanda. I lost Maria too. Please don’t go anywhere Yelena. I don’t want to lose you too. 
Yelena: Shhhh It’s okay sestra. I’ll keep my promise. It’s okay. I’m with you. I’m not going anywhere.
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slither-in-gryffindor · 2 months
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Natasha: What are you studying?
Maria: Commerce degree, but accounting and accounting technologies
Natasha: Nice. So it's safe to say you're good with numbers?
Maria: Not sure if I'm good with them but I like them
Natasha: If that's the case, would you like mine?
Maria: 
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greatapebroly · 1 year
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So I saw you were looking for request so here I am!!
Basically Natasha and Reader are arguing because Natasha came out of no where and started accusing Reader of doing something but the reader is just like “what? What are you even talking about I didn’t do that” but Natasha doesn’t believe her and walks out and doesn’t talk to the reader for awhile until one of the avengers has to explain to Natasha that reader didn’t do anything wrong and it was someone else.
You can end it any way you want to.
Anyways bye hope you have a nice day/evening/night
Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x F!Reader
Genre: Angst, Fluff
Word Count: 3,213
Warnings: Arguing, yelling ofc, Nat ignoring R at first, a punch, a push, mentions of beating, mentions of past hydra affiliation, an emotional rollercoaster i think, like 20 people get beheaded im joking
A/N: this was not supposed to take as long as it did. that is a fault on my behalf and i am sorry for the prolonged wait but now here we are if you're still interested. I hope you don't mind video games bc that's what R is doing before shit hits the fan. First angst fic so i'm kinda nervous butt i've read a fuckton of it so I tried to incorporate that into my own ideas? but enough from me since i've made you wait long enough. and pleaseeee enjoy
I Did What..? (N.R)
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Your typical day at the compound consisted of waking up next to the most beautiful redhead in the cosmos, giving her a kiss, followed by 20 more, showering, eating breakfast, training/mission, then you hop on the game.
After a long day of saving people and interacting with them it's nice to have something to ease your mind at the end of the day.
Your favorite game was Call of Duty Black Ops 4. Occasionally, Natasha would join you but she was busy giving Wanda some pointers to hone her hand to hand combat skills. So it was just you and that's normally how you liked it.
You don't have to worry about reviving any of your teammates nor yourself since you're damn good at the game and you can go through whichever easter egg much quicker.
It was around 6:30PM and you'd beaten Voyage of Despair twice before moving onto Ancient Evil.
Your day was pretty good. You were able to play Xbox all day without any distractions from that eccentric boy Tony always has around. No Morgan to beg you to let her play with you then throw a hissy fit when you throw her out. Nobody bothered you and it was great. It was like nothing could ruin your good day and you were happy about that.
Days like this aren't common for you unless Natasha is around or in close proximity to you so you were proud of your improvement since Hydra.
Natasha still hadn't returned to your shared room and it's not that you thought something happened to her, it's just that she said she'd only be with Wanda for an hour and it's been 3 of those.
You contemplated searching for her but you were so close to the boss fight and you were sure she was alright so you turned your attention back to the game.
You were delivering the final shot to the Boss, Zeus, on Ancient Evil when the door to your bedroom flew open and in the doorway stood Natasha.
The angered look on her face was foreign to you as you ran up to her to engulf her in a bone crushing hug after not seeing her all day.
"I missed you Natasha you left me alone a lot longer than you promised to." You said as you buried your head in her chest.
Upon seeing this Natasha almost felt bad for being angry at you. She knew you were fragile as far as emotions and wanted to forget about the whole thing and cuddle you for infinity but that quickly subsided when she remembered why she was here.
That fucking conversation with Wanda. She knew deep down inside her that you would never betray her like this but her mind was so clouded with her emotions that she didn't even think when she pushed you off her.
You hit the ground hard but for you it felt like a cloud.
"Natty?" You asked confused by her sudden actions. It was then you looked up and noticed how pissed she looked but in a dangerously calm way.
You knew Natasha would never intentionally hurt you but the way she was right now you weren't entirely sure so you stood up and thought of what to do.
You're not exactly good in situations like this but you remembered the time she taught you how to handle people's emotions the correct way so you thought you'd put that knowledge to use right now.
"Do you need me to give you space?" You tried. No response.
Okay i'll try this.
"Do you wanna talk about it ?" You asked again.
This caused a reaction in Natasha as she moved from her spot in the doorway to the bed. It was like her body was on autopilot. Wanda words kept replaying in her mind like a broken record.
"You know I heard Y/N has the hots for Maria and if i'm being honest i can totally see it. Last week when you were on that mission in Siberia Maria kept going in and out of Y/N's room and they said that if you listen close enough you could hear squeals and what sounded moans. In my opinion the potential they have is amazing and they'd be such a cute couple. it's like a perfect fit, Maria's so tall and y/n isn't exactly short bu-"
Natasha had tuned Wanda out by then. She didn't need to hear another word. Wanda was still new kinda like you so she didn't know that you and Nat had a thing going on but the way she spoke of you and Maria made her sick to her stomach. She felt as if the whole world had been dropped on her.
She ended the training early and decided to walk around the compound in attempts to clear her mind but that was soon proven to be unhelpful.
Her mind was screaming at her to not believe the allegations but when she heard other people around the building talking about it she couldn't think otherwise and made her way to your shared room with murder on her mind. not literally
"Helloo Natty are you there?" Natasha was snapped back to reality by the feeling of you lightly shaking her shoulder.
"Why did you sleep with Maria while I was gone?" The question was so eerily calm that it would make anyone feel as if they were in an unsurmountable amount of danger.
"Natty what do you mea-"
"Don't fucking lie to me y/n i've heard what everyones been saying. That you fucked Maria on multiple occasions while i was in Siberia."
The words were coming out so calm and smoothly that anybody else would think she was asking a simple question but you could see the fire burning in her eyes.
"Natasha i didn't sleep with Maria I was just showing her-"
"Showing her what y/n!" Natasha exclaimed as she stood up. This caused you to shrink up a little out of instinct from past experiences.
"N-no i was just sh-showing her my vi-"
"Yeah showing her your virginity." Nat mumbled under her breathe and somehow it didn't reach your enhanced ears.
Something inside Natasha was screaming at her to stop but her anger overtook that something.
"You know something y/n I really thought I could trust you. I helped you free your mind of your past. I opened up to you and told you things about myself that i've never told anybody. Not even Clint and you go and pull this shit. We could've been great together Y/N and I knew that ever since we brought you back from Hydra but obviously a mistake. Once a fuck up always a fuck up."
Whatever fear you had quickly went away as those words came out of her mouth. Who did she think she was to criticize you on your past mistakes and blame you for something you had no idea about. All you wanted to do was show Maria your video game collection and maybe make another friend so that everyone could see that you were capable of redeeming yourself just like Bucky and Wanda. Was that such an issue ? Apparently it was.
"Oh so now you have no-" Natasha started but you quickly cut her off.
"Ever since you brought me back from Hydra the whole fucking building has been against me Natasha even the ex Hydra members who, you would assume, understood the hell I went through and how I was currently feeling. Maybe they could've, I don't know, helped me understand what I was feeling instead of dragging me through the dirt because I sure as hell didn't know. The only person who didn't treat me like absolute shit the whole time I've been here was you. You understood what it was like to be broken and molded into someone you didn't want to become. You were the one who taught me what it was to be a person and helped me work out my feelings. You showed me a whole new world Natasha and you're just gonna throw that away become of some bullshit you heard on the streets ? And FYI the only reason Maria was here a lot was because she asked me if she could start joining in on my gaming and I gladly said yes. She said she wanted to get know me instead of the shit she heard from everyone else and you know what ? It was nice to have someone else to talk to while you were gone. It was like a breath of fresh air to know that not everyone was against me but I didn't know me finally being willing to trust someone other than you would lead to the one I love the most treating me as if I'm a terrorist and I get it. I am. I'm a terrorist, a murderer, a fucking psycho killer but guess what Natalia Romanova SO. ARE. YOU.!" You said jamming your finger into her chest with each punctuation.
The use of her real name and your outburst caused Natasha to realize what she was doing as she tried to pull you into her arms.
"Baby let's talk this through I didn't mea-"
"Don't touch me Natalia. You hurt me. You hurt me a lot more than Hydra or anyone here ever could and you wanna know why? Because I fucking love you and for you to turn around and lay this shit on me hurt a LOT you may not care and I don't know how to explain it but it hurt Natalia and I want you to know how much you hurt me because I never want to see your face again."
"Baby don't say that you don't mean it listen I'm so-"
"I said get OUT!" You screamed as your powers started to take control of your body causing you to shake with anger.
The tears were flowing from both of your eyes was unknown to you as Natasha stood up and slowly made her way to the door knowing what your powers could do if you lost control. Hell it was way worse than what Wanda could do.
Natasha stopped to take one last look at you in hopes that you would let her redeem herself but you only pointed towards the door and said one word.
"Go." And she did. She left and she immediately regretted it as she heard glass shatter from behind your door. She wanted to turn around and go back inside.
She wanted to kick herself for letting a silly rumor get to her. She wanted to break that door down and hold you and talk things out like responsible adults but she knew that if she went back in there while you were in this state, or if she went back in there at all, that just might be the last time she ever saw the light of day.
She contemplated paying a special visit to Wanda for putting these things in her head but instead she went to the source of the problem.
Maria.
Natasha knocked on the woman's office door and awaited a response but she didn't get one. She tried again before she opened the door to see that Maria was not in her office so she decided to ask Jarvis.
"Jarvis can you tell me where Maria is please it's urgent ?"
"Miss Hill is currently in Y/N's Room but may I inform you that Y/N has specifically asked me to not let you into her room." The A.I. responded.
Those words hit Natasha like a church bell. Maria is with...you. In your shared room probably holding you like Natasha wanted to. Maria is the one comforting you when it should be her there picking up the pieces she so messily threw all over the place.
She could just see it now and it made her sick. She resented herself for her actions and she wanted to make it up but will you accept her back ? Did she even lose you ?
Everything that happened today was giving Natasha one hell of a headache and if she was being honest she needed a drink. Bad. So she headed over to Tony's.
"Ahh Romanoff how's it going?" Tony asked as he opened the door to his lab but he quickly took in the look on her face and stepped aside to let her in.
Tony wanted to ask what was on her mind but instead he just poured her the drink she so desperately needed.
After her 7th shot he took the bottle from her.
"What the fuck Stark?"
"Easy Romanoff I just wanna ask you something. " When she didn't respond he continued. "Is this about Y/N and Maria?"
Tony didn't even get a chance to react as Natasha sent a quick right hook to his jaw.
"HOLY FUCKING HELL ROMANOFF!" Tony exclaimed as he rubbed his jaw in pain. "I guess it is about them huh." He asked rhetorically but the question still made her tense up and glare at Tony.
"Woah now Red. Don't take my words as an insult i'm just trying to figure out why you came to my lab at... nine o clock at night."
Had it really been that long Natasha thought to herself. Everything happened so fast that she couldn't even register time.
"Yeah it's about them. I fucked up Tony. I let these stupid fucking rumors get to my head and I said shit to Y/N that I would've never said if I was in the right state of mind scratch that I shouldn't have said any of that period I can't make excuses for my mistakes. I know she's delicate coming straight outta Hydra and all but I don't know what came over me it's like I became a whole 'nother person."
Tony didn't interrupt once nor did he know what the fuck Natasha said to you, but he did know that none of the rumors were true but how exactly did he tell Natasha this without risking the possibility of death or serious life threatening injuries but you only live once so fuck it.
"So you do kno-"
"I know. I'm just fucking ignorant. She tried to tell me so many times that that wasn't the case but I didn't listen and now I think I just lost the one true person I ever gave a fuck about. How do I even face her when Maria is with her giving her the love and affection she should be getting from me in a situation like this."
Tony smiled as he saw you walk through the door. Not because he liked you per se, don't get him wrong he doesn't hate you like everyone else but he doesn't exactly invest his time in trying to get to know you. He smiled because he knew you caught the last few lines of Natasha's rant and hopefully Nat would leave so he can finish his work. As much as he loved his red haired friend he loved working his ass off more.
"Natasha?" You called out and this made Natasha turn around so fast you'd think she'd have whiplash. She couldn't believe her eyes as she got up and started walking towards you.
"Baby I-" She started but you hushed her and pulled her outside.
"Listen I really wanna-" Natasha started again but she stopped when you placed your arms around her neck and brought her in for a kiss. And another. And another. Followed by another until you finally spoke.
"I know i'm not good with my emotions but when you started accusing me of sleeping with Maria it felt like a fire was starting inside of me and I wanted to extinguish it but the flames kept growing and somebody was trying to put them out but the flames engulfed them entirely and that somebody was me and I had to watch that somebody burn alive and it-"
"Shhh you don't have to explain yourself. If anything I should be the one explaining. Actually I don't think I can explain what I said to you but I can at least try. I didn't mean any of those words I said okay ? Not a single one but that doesn't exclude the fact that I still said them.
"No Natty you were right once a fuck up always a fuck up I can accept that because it's true but what I can't accept is how I called you all those horrible names but I forgive you."
Natasha watched confused as you backed away from her and opened your arms in an assumingely hugging gesture but instead you said
"Go ahead and beat me as many times as you'd like I can take it. As long as you don't leave me i'll let you hit me as much as you want as compensation for what I said to you earlier and for being involved in something that made you mad. I shouldn't have been talking to Maria in the first place and that's a fault on my behalf and i'm sorry and I wanna show you that so go ahead and get it over with."
Natasha heart broke at the sight of you. She knew you were only doing this because Hydra would beat you for the slightest reason. It's like a defense mechanism for you. Over-explaining and degrading yourself in an attempt to get off the hook.
Natasha took a step towards you and you closed your eyes as you braced yourself for the impact but instead you were engulfed in the warmest hug ever.
You opened your eyes confused as to why you weren't being flung around right now but as if she read your mind, Natasha answered the question for you.
"I would NEVER inflict ANY kind of harm onto you even if it meant saving my life do you understand me Y/N L/N?"
You didn't exactly grasp the concept of what she was saying because if you did something wrong then a harsh punishment should follow but you liked how Natasha arms felt. The same feeling you got when you woke up in them every morning unless she was on a mission.
"I'm sorry. i'm sorry. i'm sorry. im sorry. i'm sorry. im sorry. im sorry." Natasha said between kisses.
"Natty I already told you I forgive you."
"I know but what you just said and did shattered my heart into a million little pieces. I just want you to know that despite everything you've been through and despite all the shit that unfolded today, I love you Y/N. I love you so fucking much that I could scream it from the top of Mount Olympus and it still wouldn't be enough to express my love for you because that's how much I fucking love you."
"So, tell me who all was fucking with you while I was gone."
Today was probably the weirdest day you'd had in a while but you're sure that weirder days were to come especially since you're an Avengers dating another Avenger but you wouldn't have it any other way especially if you had a Natasha Romanoff by your side.
A/N: Too much ? Too little ? I never wrote angst before so I kinda just went with the flow. Let me know in the comments please and thank youuuuuu for reading and for your request.
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incorrectquotesmcu · 4 months
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Clint, bursting into Natasha's room: I’m getting married today!
Natasha, on her bed with the covers up to her chin: Morning Clint.
Clint: I’M GETTING MARRIED! TODAY!
Natasha: Yeah, you are.
Clint: WOO-HOO! [leaves room]
Maria, popping her head out from under the covers: Do you think he knew I was here?
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