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#incorrect marvel

Parkner headcanon

Peter, on facetime: babe… pls dont be mad but… I did something

Harley, internally: this can’t be good

Harley, externally: *sighs* I wont be mad. What did you do?

Peter, sheepishly: I, uh… may or may not have bought a chicken

Harley, thinking he means a rotisserie chicken or some shit: oh, that’s all? That’s fine. I’m totally down for chicken for dinner.

Peter: no, I mean, like… an actual chicken

Harley: you mean, like… a live chicken?

Peter: … yeah…

Harley: … you’re joking

Peter: *holds the chicken up to the camera* his name is Greg



Harley: … Peter. Babe.

Peter: yeah?

Harley: we live in an apartment in New York.

Peter: and?

Harley: where the FUCK is he gonna live?

Peter:… I didn’t think that far in advance

Bonus pic:

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Ned: No Greek god is inherently wholly “good” or “bad” because they were all flawed and imperfect in some way with different facets of personality and character to serve as a reflection of society and human nature itself.

Mj: Except for Zeus, he was a straight up absolute bastard.

Peter: Yeah, fuck Zeus!

Mj: Do NOT

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Steve: Nat, I need help with a guy. We’ve been hanging out recently, then we have this super intimate moment where he almost kills me, but he doesn’t . Then I fall into a river and he pulls me out and ghosts me!!

Nat: Steve, I swear to god

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Tony : Try to do as I told you.

Loki : Ok.

Loki : Y/N, will you be my girlfriend ?

Y/N : I am already your girl friend.

Loki : What ? What do you mean ?

Y/N : I am a girl and I am your friend.

Loki :

Loki : Not to offend you but you are an idiot.

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