Bucky: If you kick me one more time, I’m going to sue.
Y/N: *stops mid-kick* Who the fuck is Sue and what does she have to do with anything?
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Mobius is fighting a monster
Loki: Just stay calm! You already have everything you need to beat it!
Mobius: The power to believe in myself!?
Loki: No, a knife! Stab it!
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Clint: Where do you think you'll end up, hell or heaven?
Natasha: I hope hell. It's where all the gay people are.
Y/N: It's lit.
Y/N: Pun intended.
Clint: Y'all are weird.
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Loki: I'm an idiot.
Frigg:
Kid!Loki:
Classic Loki:
Boastful Loki:
Alligator Loki:
Sylvie:
Loki:
Frigg: If you're waiting for us to disagree this is going to be a long day.
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Kamala: I'm getting another sibling!
Carol: Congratulations! Do you know what-
Muneeba Khan: *slams adoption papers on the table* The sibling is you. Sign right here.
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Tony: what the hell were you thinking!?
Peter: Obviously I was thinking I would get away with it and wouldn't have to explain myself!
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y/n: *lying on the floor*
nat: *walks by*
nat: what are you doing?
y/n: im wounded *pretends to die*
nat: what hurt you?
y/n: im wounded by love *coming back from the dead then dies again*
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Y/N: Just realized there’s nothing stopping me from drinking a lava lamp.
*Natasha sighs and hits the back of Y/N’s head whilst the team laughs*
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Natasha: I just heard Y/N call the dog a “fucking liar” because he barked like someone was at the door and no one was there.
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Peter: “I’m gonna be just like you!”
Tony, panicking: “No, no, no, no. May is gonna kill me. No, no, no. That’s a bad idea. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.”
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Natasha: I want to be with you for the rest of my life.
Y/n: Damn, that sounds like a marriage proposal.
Natasha, getting down on one knee: That's 'cause it is.
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Wanda: You're not good for my heart.
Y/N: ...
Y/N: Like in a stress way or loving way?
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Loki: You're 'the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans', what does that mean?
Frigg: it means I was the second worst thing to happen to those orphans.
Loki: But what's the first worst thing?
Frigg: Loki, they...they weren't always orphans.
Loki:
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Y/n, during an interview: I really do love working with the Avengers, we all get along, have a great relationship and- we just fully accept and comprehend each other, you know what I mean?
*Earlier that day*
Y/n: FUCK OFF TONY, I'M NOT WORKING WITH YOU, EVER AGAIN.
Tony: OKAY GREAT, BECAUSE YOU'RE FIRED.
Y/n: OH I'M FIRED? NO I'M NOT, BECAUSE I RESIGN FIRST.
Tony: WHAT? YOU CANNOT RESIGN AFTER I FIRED YOU-
Y/n: LALALALALA I AM NOT HEARING WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. OOOH SWEET PEPPEEER, DO YOU WANT A FIANCÉ WHO'S NOT A RAGING CUNT???
Tony: I am gonna fucking kILL THIS LITTLE BASTARD-
*Natasha, Steve and Thor, trying to hold him down*
Bruce: *clicks his tongue* Please Clint, remind me what happened?
Clint: In a few words: they ate the last donut. He got angry.
Bruce: ...over...over a fucking donut?
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