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#incorrect mcu quotes
Just trust your gut!
Agnes, I have anxiety. My gut is literally always telling me to abort mission.
28 notes

Y/N, to the Avengers: The English language can not fully capture the depth and complexity of my thoughts. So I’m incorporating Emoji into my speech to better express myself. Winky face.

35 notes

Steve: Why are you smiling?

Bucky: What? Can’t I just be happy?

Peter: Mr. Stark tripped and fell in the parking lot!

173 notes

Stephen: Tony, are you okay? 

Tony: In what aspect? Physically, no injury whatsoever and no signs of exhaustion. Appearance wise, I’m not just okay. I’m a whole-ass meal. Three course, five star. Try me if you want. 

Stephen: …

Tony: Mentally? I could use some therapy I guess. 

39 notes
You didn't do anything stupid while I was gone?
Steve, avoiding eye contact
Why are you questioning that?
He jumped out of a plane in 2014.
W h a t
Okay, so how would you react, if I told you I jumped out of a plane in 2014?
7 notes
You use emojis like a straight person.
That's literally the worst thing anyone has ever said about me.
72 notes

Steve: I need you to help Sam with a mission.


Bucky: could you excuse me for a moment?

Bucky: *walks into the middle of the woods*

Bucky: *screams*

151 notes

Peter, banging on Stephen’s door: Doctor Dad! I need you to hide me!

Stephen, ushering Peter in: Who’s after you?! The police?! A super villain?! The CIA?! HYDRA?! Is it fucking HYDRA?!

Peter: Morgan! I ate the last popsicle-

Stephen, pushing Peter back out the door: Not a chance. You’re on your own. Goodbye.

Peter: But-

Stephen: *slams door*

116 notes

Making a cake goes wrong

Loki: I saw a thing like that in the zoo

*Tony proud of his attempt*

Loki: It’s a catterpillar

Tony: Finally someone understands it!

Loki: But it was poisonous, so good luck

3 notes

Bucky, sitting in the park: *Whistles* Look at this beauty… So soft and plump!

Steve, walking by: Are you catcalling me? A complete stranger? Had it been someone else other than me-

Bucky: *Looks up at Steve with annoyance and gestures at the cupcake he’s holding*

Steve, visibly disappointed: Oh…

33 notes
Hey, Mr. Stark! Why can't Trump enter the White House?
Tony, a tired dad
Because it's for-biden!
24 notes
I don’t need to go to bed. I’m not tired and I still have work to do.
But Wanda, I’ll be so lonely without you! Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.
...Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping habits?
Is it working?
170 notes

Ned: Where are you going?

Peter: I’m going after vulture.

Ned: Peter, that’s crazy!

Peter: I didn’t say it was the smart thing, but it is the right thing.

68 notes
Tony, awake at 5AM and on his third cup of coffee
I'm both an early bird and a night owl, so I'm wise and I have worms.
61 notes