Todoroki: Hey Bakugo, this steak is a little tough.
Izuku, stares blankly into his food: So is life and then you die.
Todoroki:
Bakugo:…How’s therapy been lately, nerd?
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Iida: Please be careful
Midoriya, about to do something really stupid: I'm always careful!
Midoriya: Its everything around me that's careless
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this probably happens a lot
extra: hey, where's midoriya and bakugou?
1A: *points outside* over there
extra: thanks—*sees them and pauses* ...what are they doing?
1A: *exasperated* flirting
midoriya and bakugou:
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midoriya: i am a nice person i think.
bakugo: what the fuck? of course you are-
midoriya: BUT.
bakugo:
midoriya:
midoriya: i think that i'll start throwing rocks at people that are mean to me.
bakugo:
bakugo: marry me.
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Bakugou: How long do I have left?
Recovery girl: A month at best, but on the bright side, you’re lucky that you have these moments.
Recovery girl, gesturing to the other bed: Izuku Midoriya here is going to die in three days.
Bakugou, to Izuku: You think you’re better than me?! Think you can beat me?! Watch!
Recovery girl: HE’S FLATLINING
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Police, arresting him: You have the right to remain silent.
Kaminari: Ah, but not the ability.
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Kirishima: Hey man! Did you get the History homework for Mr. Aizawa done yet? We need to turn it in tomorrow.
Bakugo: *pissed* That damn nerd told me it wasn't due until next week!!
Bakugo: *Texts Midoriya furiously*
Kirishima: *Looks over Bakugo's shoulder at his phone screen*...why does Midoriya's contact have a little green heart emoji next to it?
Bakugo: ...
Bakugo: You never saw that. This never happened. And as far as you know - I'm colorblind.
Kirishima: Even if you couldn't see that it's green...that emoji is still a heart dude.
Bakugo:
Kirishima: If you add a red heart emoji to my contact in your phone, I won't tell anyone about this. 👀
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Aizawa: on a scale from ojiro to Midoriya, how impulsive are you right now?
Izuku: oh sure, become a vigilante one time and you’re being used as a bad example-
Aizawa: first of all, I used you as a bad example before that and I will be using you as a bad example long after you graduate
Aizawa: secondly, don’t try and make this seem like it was an isolated incident
Izuku problem child Midoriya:
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Incorrect MHA-50 (L.O.VxReader)
Shigaraki: [finds out Y/n infiltrated the league] You played me like a fiddle
Y/n: Oh, no Shiggy fiddles are actually hard to play
Y/n: I played you like the cheap kazoo you are
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Aizawa: It has come to my attention that one of you hell spawn is dating my kid.
1a: *confused* YOU HAVE A CHILD!
Aizawa: When I figure out who is dating my adorable gremlin. It is on fucking sight.
Hitoshi: *to himself * shitshitshitimsofuckingdeadshitshitshit
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Izuku: Okay, bye guys. I’m being taken out tonight.
Bakugo: In that case, I’ll open the drapes and give the gunman a clearer shot.
Izuku:
Todoroki, whispering: This is why you’re not the one taking him out.
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Bakugou: Once again Kirishima and I saved all your asses
Shoji: Kirishima isn't even here though
Bakugou: Can it. We're a package deal
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BakuDeku: I can fix him.
TodoBaku: I can make him worse.
ShinBaku: there's something deeply wrong with him and I want to be around when the car crash inevitably happens.
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Snipe, entering the teachers' lounge: man I'm hungry-
Shouta: Zashi I swear to god I will murder y-
Hizashi: Hi hungry, I'm Da- AH [sound of glass shattering]
Snipe, staring at the broken window: ...do I wanna know what's goin' on
Shouta, still glaring: we're adopting
Shouta: he's been practicing dad jokes for two. weeks. straight.
[Hizashi, voice strained as he clings to the windowsill]: worth it
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