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#incorrect mj
marvel-lous-things · 2 years ago
Tony: why is there a muddy pawprint on my couch?
Peter, panicking: Mr Stark I can expl-
Harley: Halloween decorations
Shuri: T'challa
MJ: aesthetic
Ned: Halloween decorations
Groot: I am Groot
Peter's backpack: woof
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Stephen: I can’t believe you forgot your phone.
Tony: Yeah. I hope Peter liked the shirt I got him yesterday. Oh, he called.
Friday: You have 17 new messages.
Tony: What?!
Friday: Message 1.
Peter: Hey Mr. Stark, thanks for the Bazinga t-shirt it's… great. I was just calling because I might need a ride later tonight. Ned can’t drive and I ran Shuri's car into that ditch after we watched Fast Five on Netflix together.
Shuri: You still owe me for that.
Peter: Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. Cars are really flammable, did you know that? I didn’t know that. Well, I do now.. but anyway I’ll call you later if we need a pick up from the show, alright?
Ned: [Snoring]
Peter: Ned, you’re up! Talk to you later, Mr. Stark!
Friday: End of Message.
Tony: I’m not listening to all of these.
[skips to the last message]
Friday: Message 17.
Peter: Oh my god, is he dead?! Why did you put him in the car?!
MJ: It’s Flash, you idiot! Just shut up and keep driving to the hospital!
Shuri: Peter, when are we getting to Chuck E Cheese?
Peter: Shuri, shut up! Mr. Stark, please pick up the phone! We are in so much trouble! The show went south, so we decided to make our own, but… Oh man, oh man, pick up your stupid phone! Mr. Stark, go to my desk, open the dark drawer and burn everything inside! But hold your breath while you do it! Use that stupid t-shirt you got me to help the fire, you gotta do this, Mr. Stark!
MJ: Peter, eyes on the road!
All: [Screaming]
Friday: End of message.
Tony and Stephen: [stare at the phone in horror]
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constant-diablerie · 2 years ago
spiderman, interrogation mode:
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spiderman, every other time: ʰᶦ ᶦ’ᵐ ˢᵖᶦᵈᵉʳᵐᵃⁿ ʰᵒʷ ᵃʳᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ᵃʳᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ᵒᵏᵃʸ ᵈᵒ ʸᵒᵘ ⁿᵉᵉᵈ ᵃⁿʸ ʰᵉˡᵖ
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marvel-lous-things · 2 years ago
Tony, before Peter's first date with MJ: Kid, I need to talk to you about treating a girl right. What to do, what not to do, all of that... some advice, if you will
Peter: What do you wanna know Mr Stark
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thorongil82 · 2 years ago
Michelle: Did it hurt?
Peter [sighing]: When I fell from heaven-
Michelle: When you fell from the vending machine.
Michelle: 'Cause you're a snack.
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constant-diablerie · 2 years ago
captain marvel: *does anything*
peter parker, notepad out, ready to take notes: ᵈᵒ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᵃᵍᵃᶦⁿ, ᵇᵘᵗ ˢˡᵒʷᵉʳ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᵗᶦᵐᵉ
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marvel-lous-things · 2 years ago
Peter, in tears, trying to take one (1) normal group picture after 83 failed attempts: HOW DO I GET RID OF THE FLASH
MJ: *shoves Flash off the pier*
Peter: that's not what I-
MJ: I know
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peterflopker · a year ago
Tony: peter has never done anything wrong in his life, ever
Peter, thinking about all the times he cheated in Heads Up 7 Up by looking at the shoes of the people who touched his thumb: Dont say that, mr. stark. You dont know what ive done, what ive had to do
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ohnomarvel · 2 years ago
Peter, texting: Lol I'm dying
Ned: Lmao same
MJ: Someone told a joke?
Peter: Oh no, I'm actually dying
Peter: The Lol was just a reflex
Aunt May: You're WHAT
Tony: You're going to send me to an early grave, what do you mean, kid?
Peter: *sends a blurry picture of him slumped against a wall and dabbing while covered in blood, unconscious bad guys on the floor*
4 people are typing...
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marvel-lous-things · 2 years ago
Peter: I need to tell you something
Peter: I'm-
MJ: spiderman
MJ: it's obvious
*cut to Peter sobbing under the table during math while whispering "this is arachnophobia" to himself because Flash handed him an iron man themed pencil*
Peter: no it's n- I MEAN NO I'M NOT
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incorrect-assvengers · a year ago
Peter: Would you shoot your best friend in the leg for ten million dollars?
Ned: You shoot me, and then, when my leg gets better, we buy a mansion, twelve Ferrari’s and a private plane.
Peter: You can shoot me too! Then we get twenty million dollars!
Ned: Good thinking. Fuck the system.
Mj: Why are you two like this?
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randomgarbagecan · 3 years ago
working in the lab
Tony: hey kids, you’ve been working pretty hard on this project, you guys want anything?
Peter, Ned & MJ at the same time: Death
Tony: ...
Tony: are you.. are you okay?
Shuri[coming from no where]: Relatable
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squoosetiel · 3 years ago
Peter & Shuri: *bonding over vines*
MJ: *suspiciously quiet*
Peter & Shuri: *look over at MJ with great suspicion*
MJ: Hey FRIDAY, what's my name?
FRIDAY: You're MJ, but you've asked me to call you vagina vagina vagina vagina vagina...
MJ: *starts beatboxing*
Peter and Shuri: *losing their freaking minds*
Tony, rushing in at top speed with a very concerned Steve in tow: WHAT KIND OF
Shuri, Peter, and MJ, in sync, singing interrupting him: FUCKERY IS THIS
MJ, way too nonchalantly: I hacked into her
Loki: I was summoned because I sensed an immense amount of bullshittery, fuckery, and all around nonsense in this general area
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