#incorrect mom quotes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

angelofthenight · 2 years

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Stephen: Tequila makes me aggressive.

Wanda: Tequila makes me wanna dance.

You: I, uh, I once took, like, ten Vicodin, and drank an entire thing of tequila, and then, I, like, blacked out for three days. But while I was blacked out, I, like, still went out and fought crime and shit. It was really weird.

Wong: …Well, let’s not do that tonight.

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leoleolovesdc · 5 months

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Jason [after a rough patrol with Damian]: Huh, that was fun! Wanna go for a drink?

Damian: Akhi, I’m 16

Jason: Wait, seriously?

Jason: Damn, I was convinced you were 12

#b4 anyone says anything im convinced jason wouldnt ever take a kid to drink #especially since both him and his mom struggled w addiction #this is js for the meme dont take it srsly #jason todd #damian wayne #incorrect quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfam incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #robin #red hood #batfam #batkids #batsiblings #bat siblings #bat kids #bat bros #bat brothers #batfamily

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dc-and-damirae · 6 months

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robin(dick): What if I turned into a villain? cat-woman: Aw, you'd have the cutest mugshot. robin [very pleased with himself]: Thank you cat-mom.

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fxiryeon · 20 days

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Y/N: It’s so frustrating

Luke: What is ??

Y/N: Watching Annabeth openly flirt with Percy for weeks and Percy is still not realising it

Luke, wearing a ‘date me Y/N’ shirt: Haha, yeah-

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mammonswhore · 10 months

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MC: *wiggling a test in front of Lucifer's face* fuck you!

Lucifer: I see you passed

MC: Damn right I did! And you said I couldn't do it!

Lucifer: *smirking* I know, congrats...

MC: *confused sheep noises*

-later-

MC about to go to sleep: ... OH THAT MOTHERFU-

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noyzinerd · 2 months

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[After the pack runs into one of Derek's ex's from his time in New York]

Stiles: Oh my god, that girl was gorgeous! I mean, did you guys see her?!

The pack:

Stiles: Why on Earth would Derek ever break up with someone so beautiful? What was he even thinking?!

The pack:

Stiles: I know if I ever landed someone like that, I'd probably never let them go.

The pack:

Stiles: Aw shoot, I gotta get going or I'm gonna be late. See you later guys!

The pack: The pack:

Malia: So, are we all still pretending Derek's ex-girlfriend didn't just look like Stiles in a wig?

#sterek #teen wolf #derek hale #stiles stilinski #tyler hoechlin #dylan o'brien #mieczyslaw stiles stilinski #incorrect teen wolf quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect teen wolf #I'd like to think the ex was Eli's bio-mom #Oblivious Stiles #Derek very clearly has a type

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golden1u5t · 5 months

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dad!spencer >>>>>>

“Spencer?” You called out for him as you walked into the empty bullpen with your daughter holding your hand, you frowned as you looked around for him. After looking around for a few minutes your eyes landed on the conference room, since the blinds were open you could see the team sitting at the table.

You took a seat at Spencer’s desk until he was done reviewing the case, your daughter sat on your lap playing on her tablet. You set the brown paper bag down on the desk, you had brought lunch and you had planned to sit with him for a bit but someone had other plans.

A few minutes later the team emerged from the conference room. Spencer’s face twisted in confusion as he saw someone in his chair, his hand reaching for his gun but he quickly relaxed once he recognized your signature butterfly barrett and his daughters laugh. You looked up from watching your daughters tablet when you heard quick footsteps getting closer to you.

“Y/N, hi!” He breathed once he reached you. You took your daughters tablet and placed it on the desk and let Spencer take her from your lap, you stood up and quickly pressed a kiss to his lips. Spencer smiled and pressed a kiss to his daughters head. “What are you doing here? I thought you had her photoshoot today.”

“We did, it was earlier this morning. I figured we could come have lunch with you,” You pushed the brown bag towards him. “But, I see you guys have gotten a new case.”

Emily heard your daughters giggles and immediately left her conversation with Rossi for her. She squirmed in Spencer’s arms and reached for Emily, screaming “aunty em” until she took her from Spencer’s arms, taking her away to be with the rest of the team while you and Spencer had some time together before he was gone.

You smiled as you watched the team with her, remembering how quick the team fell in love with her. They were in love with her before she was even born. You stepped closer to him and rested your head on his chest, wrapping your arms around his waist.

“We still have half an hour before we leave. You guys can stay while we wait, I want to spend some time with her before I leave for however long.” He mumbled, into your hair. He sighed as he looked at her playing with the team. “I hope she knows how much I love her.”

“Of course she does, Spence. She knows that your job keeps you away sometimes but I make sure to tell her all the time how much you love her.” You lean back and cup his face so he could look a you, a small frown on your face. “She knows you love her and she loves you too. We love you.”

Spencer nodded and pressed his lips to yours gently, a small tug on his pants leg forcing him to pull away. He looked down to see his daughter tugging at his pants.

“Daddy, can we eat now?”

“Of course, sweet girl.”

#criminal minds #incorrect criminal minds quotes #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #sub!spencer #softdom spencer reid #dom spencer reid #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid headcanon #spencer reid imagine #dad!spencer reid #spencer reid x fem!reader fluff #spencer reid x fem!reader #mom!reader #dr spencer reid

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l3viat8an · 10 months

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*Games night in Levi’s room*

Mammon: Damn this game is crazy!

MC: Crazy?

MC & Levi:*In perfect sync* I was crazy once, they locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with with rats, and rats make me crazy, crazy? I was crazy once, they locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with with rats, and rats make me crazy, crazy?-

Mammon: What the fuck is wrong with you two????

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batfamgalore · 6 months

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Jason: Oh my god, can I kill him!

Dick: No.

Jason: Can I at least slash his tires?

Dick: Okay.

#batman #robin #dc #batfamily #batfam #dick grayson #nightwing #jason todd #red hood #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #source: convo between me and my mom

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criminalmindsfanantic · 5 months

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The Team hiding in a dark laundry room

Derek: Who else is hiding in here trying to listen to Mom and Dad’s convo?

Penelope: Me. I'm in the laundry basket.

JJ: I'm in the washing machine.

Reid: I’m in the dryer.

Emily: I'm in the closet.

Penelope: We accept you Emily. <3

Emily: No I'm literally in the closet.

Penelope: Love is love. <3

#chaoticbau #criminal minds #emily prentiss #jennifer jareau #jemily #cm #incorrect criminal minds #incorrect cm #incorrect criminal minds quotes #spencer reid #derek morgan #penelope garcia #david rossi and aaron hotchner are mom and dad

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lyrichi · 2 months

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Beel, walking up to mc: do you wanna go to Hell's Kitchen with me?

mc, one ear bud in and only half paying attention: the fox show starring Gordan Ramsey??

Beel: ...what?

#dawg I would watch that shit w my mom #all the time #istg #and house hunters #I only think of the show when someone talks abt it in shitposts #yeah #okay #obey me crack #obey me incorrect quotes #obey me shall we date #obey me shitpost #obey me #obey me mc #obey me beelzebub

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angelofthenight · 2 years

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Wanda, to Stephen: Do u think (y/n) would want me if I threatened to kill myself

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a-dauntless-daffodil · 2 months

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XD Charlie in shirt sleeves and a Very Serious Frown, sitting behind Vaggie with hair brush in one hand and one of Vaggie's wings in the other, a truly alarming assortment of hair care protects and tools strewn around her as she tries figuring out how the whole 'angel wing maintenance' thing is suppose to work-

Vaggie, dying with laughter, trying and failing to catch her breath long enough to say You can put the brush down babe and also that REALLY tickles-

Charlie: "But then what am I supposed to USE?! You just got your wings back, I don't wanna mess them up! I wanna do this right!"

Vaggie: "Sweetie, it's f-PFFT- it's fine. You can just use your fingers."

Charlie: "..ohhhh...."

Charlie:

Charlie: "..... Um. So is preening ever. I mean when someone else does it, does it ever get kinda... y'know?"

Vaggie: "Bedroom-ish?"

Charlie: "I mean if it's sensitive enough to make you ticklish-"

Vaggie: "Yeah. Sometimes."

Charlie: "What uh, what kind of sometimes?"

Vaggie: "Like when it's you're girlfriend doing it, and she's blushing so hot you can feel the little thermal updrafts also tickling your feathers."

Charlie: "You can FEEL that!?"

Vaggie: "It's like you turned on the totally unnecessary hairdryer, babe."

Charlie: "FUCK!"

Vaggie: (laughs so hard she falls over and smacks charlie in the face with a wing on the way down)

#hazbin hotel #charlie morningstar #vaggie #chaggie #incorrect quotes #the hair straightener and curling iron also won't be needed although vaggie appreciates the thought #charlie morningstar-#unable to decide if she's pissed she never saw her mom grooming her dad's wings #or EXTREMELY FUCKING GRATEFUL #that she has NO idea what that would look like

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incorrectquotesmcu · 3 months

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Natasha: What are you doing?

Y/N: I'm leaving! You don't want me here, I'll just make it easier for you!

Steve: No, we want you here, we just want you to play by the rules.

Y/N: I'll pack my bags and go home right now! Would that make you guys all really happy?!

Thor: No, that would not make us happy!

Y/N: I'm sick of this shit! I'm done! I'm done!

Tony, narrating: Y/N is throwing shoes and they're cursing and all I'm thinking is "you are so hard to take seriously wearing those sunglasses!"

#source: dance moms #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff incorrect quotes #black widow #steve rogers #steve rogers incorrect quotes #captain america #thor #thor odinson #thor incorrect quotes #tony stark #tony stark incorrect quotes #iron man #avengers x reader #marvel incorrect quotes #marvel #avengers #avengers incorrect quotes

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chasingthestarss · 3 months

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Sirius: REMUS! I BURNT MY HAND!

Remus: Quick, put it on something cold.

Sirius, putting his hand over Regulus’ heart: Ahh, much better

Regulus: Fuck off

#dead gay wizards #marauders era #marauders incorrect quotes #regulus black #sirius black #remus lupin #remus is the mom friend #remus and regulus #regulus and sirius #wolfstar incorrect quotes #wolfstar #sirius is a little shit #the black brothers

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bruciemilf · 2 years

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Billy: I don't want to be adopted by anyone from the League. Batman asked and I had to buy him an ice cream cause I felt bad for saying no.

Freddy: Ha, at least no one tried anymore, right? Eugene and I have a betting pool, so please tell me they hate you

Billy: Haha. I mean, Wonder Woman kinda seems like she wants to? She pretty much tackled me into a hug and made me regret drinking coffee-

Freddy: Backtrack. Backtrack. Wonder Woman. Wants to adopt you.

Billy: I mean, yeah, but of course I said no-

Freddy: WONDER WOMAN. WANTS TO ADOPT US.

Billy: I don't see how this relates to you but-

Freddy, writing in the Shazam Fam GC: everybody buckle up new mom just dropped

-

Diana, proudly showing off pictures of her newly adopted kids: And this is my beloved Mary. My beloved Eugene. My beloved darling Darla, and my beloved Pedro, and my beloved Freddy, and my beloved Billy. They enjoy video games and snacks

Bruce, taking this as an obvious challenge, taking out the Batfamily Batalbum: This is Jason. His favorite hobby is murder

#bruce wayne #diana prince #wonder woman #wonder mom #GIVE ME DIANA AND HER 6 MARVEL DUCKLINGS #billy batson #shazam #freddy freeman #shazam family #justice league #dc #dc comics #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #text post

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