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godsofhumanity · 7 months

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Odin: There’s a thin line between being a genius and being a fucking idiot. Frigg: Loki uses that line as a skipping rope.

#odin #frigg #loki #brotp #norse gods #norse mythology #incorrect norse gods #incorrect norse mythology #incorrect mythology #mythology #s: tumblr #queuetzalcoatl

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luxthestrange · 1 year

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RoR Y/n's Thoughts#2

Y/n*Is tied with a red ribbon that has a tag"Your's now!" to the gods, still with a dazed look into the abyss*Dude...When we yawn...do deaf people think we are screaming?...

Buddha:...Really we're doing this again?*Came to the God section after he heard your voice your thoughts out loud again*

Y/n: If you're waiting for the waiter...aren't YOU the waiter?*Looks deep in thought*

Buddha:...They're just gonna keep talking...

Y/n: Why aren't apple chargers just called apple juice?

Thor:....*Actually looks like you gave him the biggest revelation*

Y/n: Bruh....if you work as security at a Samsung store ....does that make you guardian of the galaxy?...*Puts the song from guardians of the galaxy-"Stuck in feeling"

Thor:....what is a guardian of the galaxy?

Y/n*Is hugging Loki's leg and looking up at him in shock*MAH GUY HOW DO YOU THROW AWAY A GARBAGE CAN?

Loki: PLEASE STOP MY BRAIN HURTS!?*Actually looks distressed from all the whiplash of thoughts your given him*

Y/n:...If you buy a bigger bed...you're are left with more bedroom but LESS bedroom!?

Buddha*Grabs You and starts to wrap you in a blanket like a baby potato*Alright goodnight you PHILOSOPHER YOU-you should be doing all that thinking in your OWN room...but anyway-*Taking you away to sleep in his room*

The Norse Pantheon was left in disarray...

Part 2 of:

#record of ragnarok #shuumatsu no walkure #ror #snv #record of ragnarok x reader #shuumatsu no valkyrie #ror buddha x reader #snv buddha x reader #ror thor x reader #snv thor x reader #ror loki x reader #snv loki x reader #ror norse gods #snv norse gods #ror incorrect quotes #snv incorrect quotes #Y/n thoughts series #incorrect quotes #existential questions au-

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mytholots · 4 months

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Ares: Are oranges named orange because oranges are orange or is orange called orange because oranges are orange?

Tyr: Which came first, the orange or the orange?

Athena: Orange was first used to refer the fruit 1280 years ago but was not used as a color until 1000 years ago.

Neit: What was the color called before then?

Bellona: There was no color, duh! Everything was black and white!

#Mod D #athena #neit #bellona #greek gods #greek mythology #incorrect greek mythology #incorrect greek gods #incorrect roman mythology #incorrect roman gods #incorrect norse mythology #incorrect norse gods #incorrect celtic mythology #incorrect celtic gods #ares #tyr

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thatwaywardwolf · 1 year

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Idunn in Skáldskaparmál:

#idunn #loki #thjazi #shitposting #norse #norse paganism #norse polytheism #norse shitposting #heathen #heathenry #norse heathenry #incorrect norse gods #paganism #mythology #norse mythology

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incorrectsmashbrosquotes · 1 year

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God of War: Grumpy Neighbor AU

God of War AU where the instant Sif gets pregnant with Magni and Modi (they are twins here if they aren’t in canon) Thor gets him and his wife the fuck outta dodge because he doesn’t want Odin fucking his kids up the way he fucked Thor himself up.

They hide out on Midgard and Odin keeps trying to find them but Thor’s been his hatchet man for centuries and knows his tricks. Thor hangs up Mjolnir and takes up a crook, becoming a shepherd and farmer.

But, plot twist, they end up living next to a certain vagabond God of War and his Totally Not a Giant wife.

Now Faye recognizes Thor instantly and internally panics but decides that freaking out and running would only confirm any suspicions he has so she pretends nothing is wrong. Thor, meanwhile, is 98% sure this woman is a Jotun but smashing giants is not his goddamn job anymore so he also pretends that everything is fine.

Kratos and Thor grunt in each others’ general directions every once in a while and consider each other their best friends. Sif and Faye end up becoming friends even though there remains a layer of reservation that Sif can’t define the source of.

Magni and Modi grow up as vaguely wholesome Gym Bros who respect women, wrestle bears, and are constantly challenging “uncle Kratos” to wrestling matches, determined to one day beat him.

Sif and Faye get pregnant with Thrud and Atreus around the same time and help each other through their pregnancies, even though Faye knows her time is coming.

Thor sits Kratos down and reveals who he is. Kratos does the same. They come to the same conclusion: their children will never be safe in a world where Odin holds sway.

Thor takes up Mjolnir once more. Kratos takes up the Blades of Chaos again. They set off together, leaving Magni and Modi to guard Faye and Sif. They seek allies, those Thor knows have an axe to grind with Asgard and Odin. Freya, Mimir, as many others as they can find.

Odin never stood a chance.

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mythos-soup · 3 months

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Loki: *running into the room* Sigyn just said she doesn't love me anymore!

Odin: What?!

Sigyn: *following them in* I did not say that. I just said that we are not driving all the way across yggdrasil just so you can punch Baldr in the face.

#mythology #classical mythology #incorrect mythology #incorrect quotes #norse mythology #incorrect norse gods #incorrect norse mythology #loki #odin #wotan #sigyn #logyn #loki x sigyn #sigyn x loki #baldr #balder #baldur #queueueueueueueueueueueueueue #queuetzalcoatl

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ghostwithwings · 6 months

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When you read about Hermod the Norse Messenger, loyal to Odin, knowing about Hermes the Greek Messenger, loyal to Zeus, and suddenly you realize the same motherf*cker (affectionately 😊) worked for two Gods and fooled them all the time.

#JOKING OF COURSE #but still #greek mythology #greek gods #hermes #norse mythology #hermod #norse gods #incorrect greek mythology #incorrect norse mythology

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salvepersone · 5 months

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15pantheons · 11 months

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Odin: If we’re in trouble, just throw Loki at the problem, and hope for the best.

#mythology #norse mythology #norse gods #aesir #incorrect quotes #source: perchance generator #odin #loki

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iamdefinitelyaperson · 17 days

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Loki: Woah, look, Angrboda! Mistletoe! You know what we must do, right?

Angrboda: *sighs* Just one time only

Angrboda: *lifts him to pick the mistletoe*

Loki: *slaps Baldr with it*

Baldr: WHY do every time finding a mistletoe you do this shit?!!

Loki: lmao

#norse mythology #incorrect norse mythology #norse gods #incorrect norse gods #incorrect quotes #loki #angborda #baldr

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godsofhumanity · 3 months

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Loki: Why is helping someone bury a body the standard for true friendship? Odin: It's just a saying that you're in it together no matter what. Loki: I'm all for that. I'll hide evidence, bribe people, lie to whoever I need to but I am not digging a hole in the ground. Odin: Why is that the one you won't do? Loki: Too much work. Sounds exhausting.

#real #loki #odin #brotp #norse gods #norse mythology #incorrect norse gods #incorrect norse mythology #mythology #incorrect mythology #s: tumblr #queuetzalcoatl

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luxthestrange · 1 year

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RoR Incorrect quotes#59 Hide n Seek...WENT WRONG

Odin and the Norse Gods are now playing with Child Y/n...

Loki: Okay, okay. We'll pretend to be the other kids now*Turns around full circle and looks down* Hi, Y/n!~

Thor: Hello there, Do you wanna play hide and seek?

Young Y/n: Okay!

Odin: We'll hide, and you count, and come find us!

Young Y/n: Okay, dada!

Odin: No, no. Not daddy, I'm the nice God that wants to be your friend, okay?

Young Y/n: Okay, dada

Odin: No...

Thor & Loki: I'm hiding!*Hiding behind plants*

Odin: Now, count to ten!*Hiding behind pillar*

Young Y/n*Covers eyes with hands and starts to count*One, two, three, um... four?, umm...*Uncovers eyes and spots a trail of wet sand* I like sand...Sand is squishy*spots ahead a blonde tall figure dressed in blue talking to a redhead man with a lion bat?, and gasps* "Can I go play with them?"*Runs to follow them*

....Oh no-

PART 2 OF:

#record of ragnarok #shuumatsu no valkyrie #record of ragnarok x reader #shuumatsu no valkyrie x reader #ror #snv #ror odin #snv odin #ror loki #snv loki #ror thor #snv thor #child y/n #ror greek gods #snv greek gods #ror norse gods #snv norse gods #ror incorrect quotes #snv incorrect quotes

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lokeanheart · 9 months

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Loki: imma be real with you guys!

Something that just don’t sit right with me is the word “authority” for some reason it has Thors name in it

And I don’t like that very fuckin much .

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mytholots · 4 months

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Apollo: If I fall…

Surya: I’ll be there to catch you.

Lugh: *looks at Sol* What if I fall?

Sol: Then I’ll fall with you, never leaving your side.

Huitzilopochtli: *watches these two interactions*

Huitzilopochtli, to Ra: And if I fall?

Ra: I’ll be the one who pushed you.

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paradisechid800 · 8 months

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Aphrodite: Wait, so you are a goddess of love and beauty too. Freya: Yeah, I am also a goddess of fertility. Aphrodite: Me too! Freya: Uh, I'm also the Goddess of sex. Aphrodite: Me too! Freya: ... Freya: I'm also the Goddess of War. Aphrodite: ... Aphrodite: *Pulls out Spear* ME TOO!!!

#greek gods #greek mythology #norse gods #norse mythology #aphrodite ariea #aphrodite #freya #incorrect quotes #incorrect greek mythology quotes #incorrect norse mythology

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incorrectsmashbrosquotes · 1 year

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God of War in Egypt

I kind of wish that the God of War sequel series had taken place in Egypt instead of Midgard. Aside from just loving Egyptian Mythology and it being severely underrated, I really think it could have worked thematically with God of War.

Let me explain.

So, the most famous myth in Egyptian Mythology, and arguably the most important, is the succession crisis between Horus and Set. Basically, Horus is the son of Osiris, the previous King of the Gods, whom Set, Osiris’ brother, murdered and took the throne for his own.

But, it’s not so cut and dry. See, the original King of the Gods was Ra, the creator deity, who was forced out by Isis, mother of Horus and wife of Osiris, and then forced him to name Osiris his heir. Set was Ra’s greatest general and oathsworn warrior, and by all rights should have been king after Ra stepped down. So Horus’ claim isn’t as ironclad as it appears.

So, why does this work?

Because it’s a legitimate divine WAR. A war where no one is clearly in the right or wrong, and both sides have to stand on the strength of their morals, rather than being ruled by a generic fantasy Evil King you need to rebel against.

So, picture this for the God of War sequel series:

Kratos makes his way to Egypt after the fiasco in Greece, and there he meets Nephthys, the sister of Isis and a Goddess of Night, the Dead, and Air. Nephthys is in hiding as she doesn’t want to get involved in the war between her family. She knows who Kratos is, he’s got a reputation, and hides her identity as a Goddess, tending to his wounds. They end up falling in love and having a child together, whom they name Atreus. But Nephthys gives him a different name in secret.

She names him Anubis.

When Atreus is young, the family is thrown into the Succession War when Nephthys’ identity is revealed. This obviously pisses of Kratos because he’s still in his “hates all the Gods” thing and thinks Nephthys used him. But he still loves her, and despite the tension the three of them try to keep themselves together and try to stay alive in the midst of this divine war.

They don’t really like either side of the war, and both occupy a somewhat villainous position in the beginning. Horus is an arrogant jerk and Set is a brutal warrior. Both are meant to be a parallel to Kratos as well, Set having a similar backstory and warrior mindset and Horus emodying the brutal hateful anger at everything that made Kratos destroy the Olympian pantheon.

Basically, Atreus/Anubis in these games would be Kratos’ opposite. He’s gentle and weak where Kratos is brutal and powerful. Atreus’ unique ability is to communicate with the dead, drawing power from them and laying their spirits to rest. It’s this power that makes him indispensable to the war, as he gains the ability to do the same with dead Gods as well, including Osiris.

Ultimately, it’s revealed that Apophis, the Chaos Serpent, has been manipulating both sides this whole time in an effort to throw the world into chaos. Isis finally relents her mbition, Horus unbend his pride, and Set stops fighting.

They end up putting Ra back on the Throne for the coming conflict with Apophis, and the gods recognize Atreus as Anubis, one of their pantheon. Kratos is forced to learn to trust Gods and realize that Ra is not the tyrant Zeus was. He forgives Nephthys for her deception and accepts his son as a God, and they work together against Apophis.

I dunno. I just think it could work.

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