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#incorrect percy jackson quotes
wh0reforfictionalcharacters · 2 months ago
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Percy: Annabeth just texted me "lmao" from the other room.
Percy: I hear no laughing. No ass hitting the floor.
Percy: I've married a laugh liar
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sokkasboomeraang · 8 months ago
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STOP NOTHING WILL EVER BE AS FUNNY AS TLT PERCY FAKE CRYING ON THE NEWS AND SAYING THAT GABE WOULD GIVE FREE APPLIANCES TO EVERYONE IN LOS ANGELES STOP 12 YEAR OLD PERCY WAS SUCH A KING
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moonbirdg0ddess · 4 months ago
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Kronos: I am your leader and from now on you will refer to me as such.
Luke: Okay, Such.
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justonemorechapternicercy · 5 months ago
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Nico, at the police station: I’m here for Percy.
The officer: Surename?
Nico:
Nico: Ah, you must be new...
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deyjahvu · 4 months ago
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Will: I am tough, strong… nothing can break me
Nico: Sunshine?
Will: YES DARLING WHATS WRONG DO YOU NEED ANYTHING MY LOVE
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loloisafangirl · 5 months ago
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Hades: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life.
Zeus: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind?
Hades: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, and beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried long after I die.
Poseidon: edible
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hayden-rose · 18 days ago
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Nico: Every time I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke. Percy: Okay, but what is updog? Hazel: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish. Piper: No, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released. Annabeth: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden. Leo: Surely, that’s Uppsala, where’s updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter. Nico: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs. Piper: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current. Hazel: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway. Percy: What’s a henway?? Nico: Oh, about five pounds.
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pjo-hoo-toa-freakazoid · 17 days ago
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Leo: I have a good and a bad news. Which do you want to hear first?
Jason: The good news?
Leo: I won’t do it again
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lifesucks-whenyouarealone · 5 months ago
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Annabeth: you fainted, do you remember anything?
Nico: only the ambulance ride to the hospital
Will: that wasn't an ambulance, i drove you there
Nico: but i heard a siren
Annabeth: that was percy
Percy: sorry i got nervous
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dorimei · 11 months ago
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do you ever think about how all of percy’s demigod cousins absolutely do not exist on paper other than thalia and jason? like. hazel and nico are from the past, thalia was a tree, and jason was raised by wolves. that’s not even counting the fact that percy was wanted nationwide for murder and terrorism. how do they go anywhere. 
but imagine if they got arrested 
it would probably go somewhat like this 
officer: so you actually don't have any paperwork so i'm just wondering if i can get in contact with one of your parents? 
nico: literally fuck off 
officer: it says here that you were wanted nationwide for murder and terrorism, and then you were released from those charges, could you tell me how you got released from them? 
percy: yes i murdered the judge 
officer: you what 
officer: so we took your prints and they match perfectly to one of the missing children that beryl grace had 
thalia: i burnt off my fingerprints please tell me how you got my prints 
officer: no you didn't i have your prints right here 
thalia: those aren't my fingerprints 
officer: what
the fucking cops finding out that two of the people they have in custody don't exist, two of them are missing children of a dead movie star, and one of them was wanted for murder and terrorism and was a nationwide criminal
the dude would really go to his superior like “ok so we have 5 kids here… and the least confusing one was wanted for murder and terrorism but somehow got released from those charges…? anyways 2 don’t exist. we ran their prints, there is literally no evidence of them existing, no school papers, government ID, dental… absolutely nothing. the other 2 we think are the two missing children of a movie star, we have records for the girl as late as age 7 and the boy nothing past age 3….”
the dude interrogating them would get so tired so fast 
officer: is it possible that i could get in contact with one of your parents? 
percy: no 
officer, tired of questioning these kids: okay.
jason’s probably trying to do damage control and he is. failing to say the least
percy and hazel cussing out the cop: you motherfucker come back here so we can beat your fucking ass- 
jason: guys please. please stop. why.
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officer: I need an actual number if you want a lawyer  
nico: fuck off 
jason: nico please stop swearing at the cops 
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thalia: no you can’t prove those are mine, they could be fake 
jason: thalia, please stop trying to convince the cop that you don’t have fingerprints 
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jason: percy, percy please. please stop telling the cop about the judge you killed. you didn’t kill any judges 
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hazel: wanna know where you can shove your damn notepad? right up your a- 
jason: hazel you were suppose to help me not join them please hazel
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officer: what happened to your first stepfather? because it says here that he just disappeared-  
percy, popping bubblegum: i killed him 
officer: what 
percy: you heard me
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hades would send ms dodds to play lawyer again and then her and percy would really have an interaction like this
ms. dodds: i've murdered a judge before what's stopping me from killing this one 
percy: haha same 
ms. dodds: what 
nico: don't look at him. don't kill the judge, my dad doesn't want to deal with the paperwork
and that’s not even counting what they have to tell the gods 
zeus: sorry, you what? 
thalia: okay so basically, nico kept telling the officer to fuck off and he asked for a lawyer multiple times but when the officer called the number nico gave him it wasn't a lawyer, it was a line that conner and travis set up that goes, "haha i fucked your mom" and needless to say the cop did not like that. and then percy convinced the cop that to get out of the murder and terrorism charges he murdered a judge and honestly i'm not sure if he's telling the truth or not but the cop also did not like that. 
zeus, massaging his temples: okay. and what did you do? 
thalia: i convinced the cop that i had burnt my fingerprints off and we had a 30 minute argument about whether those prints on the paper were mine or not.
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heronamedgen · 2 months ago
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Annabeth: What’s going on?
Percy, filming: Will thinks homophobic means ‘scared of gay people.’
Will, yelling at homophobic protestors: IF I DON’T HAVE A MILLION DOLLARS ON MY DOORSTEP IN AN HOUR, I SWEAR I WILL KISS MY BOYFRIEND ON THE MOUTH IN FRONT OF YOUR KIDS AND DOGS.
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hyacjnthus · 2 months ago
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Chiron, at the end of TLO: You’ll be okay here at Camp, Nico.
Nico: Uh, not if I don’t have a cabin.
Percy: [glares at him]
Nico: What? I don’t have a cabin. I can’t say I don’t have cabin? *gestures to a pile of rubble* What is that? Not a cabin.
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sharingmybluecookies · a month ago
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Will: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.
Reyna: No, that's not how you make cookies.
Nico: FLOOR IT!!
Will: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!?
Reyna: yOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN-
Will: I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES!
Nico: DO IT!
Reyna: NO-
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soundofbadgers · 5 months ago
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Nico: i’m a homosapien
Percy: that’s what’s up bro love is love
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riordanverse-craziness · a month ago
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Annabeth: Any questions?
Grover and Percy: No.
Annabeth: I find that interesting seeing as I intentionally left discrepancies in the plan to make sure you were paying attention.
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confusedfroglover · 4 months ago
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solangelo *doing something together and accidentally touching hands*:
*can't help falling in love starts playing in the background*
will: guys, do you really have to do this every single time?
*apollo cabin hiding their instruments*: sorry
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loloisafangirl · 8 months ago
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Hades: When I first met you, I did not like you.
Zeus: I’m aware of that.
Hades: But then you and I had some time together.
Zeus: Mhmm…?
Hades: It did not get better.
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justonemorechapternicercy · 4 months ago
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Nico: Your existence is confusing and disturbing.
Percy:
Percy: Thanks?
Nico: You are annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to you upsets me and I would do anything to avoid it.
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pjo-hoo-toa-freakazoid · a month ago
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Annabeth: Who would you say is the greatest heroine in your life, Percy?
Percy, looking at Sally: Look Annabeth-
Annabeth: No no You don’t have to explain. I fully agree with you
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lifesucks-whenyouarealone · 7 months ago
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Percy: what time is it?
Leo: idk hold up
Leo:*starts screaming*
Nico shouting from somewhere: who tf is screaming at 3am!!!??
Leo: it's 3 am
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