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#incorrect peter parker quotes
incorrect-assvengers · 17 days ago
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*babysitting Morgan*
Peter, high pitched: Hey Ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!
MJ, in a deep voice: Nonsense, Barbie. You are staying home to take care of the kids.
Tony: What are you two doing?
Peter and MJ, in sync: Playing systematic oppression.
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incorrecttonystark · 7 months ago
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Peter: HEY HEY!
Tony (whispering): shhh, Morgan’s sleeping.
Peter (whispering): sorry.
Tony (whispering): what’s up?
Peter(whispering): there’s a fire-
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petcrpqrker · 6 months ago
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mysterio: well if it isn’t peter parker
peter: but... it is me
mysterio: no— it’s an expression—
peter: your villain tricks won’t work on me
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underoooos · 2 months ago
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Stephen, to Peter : Did you put glitter in the laundry detergent?
Peter: Oh yeah! We're experimenting with some new ideas. That one's called sparkle suds!
Stephen: *sighs*
Stephen, to Tony : Can you at least stop putting glitter on everything? There was glitter in the butter this morning too.
Tony : *shrieks in joy* Disco dairy: Spread the party!
Stephen: *sighs deeper*
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incorrecttonystark · 9 months ago
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Tony: I’m starting to worry about Peter
Harley: nah, I’m sure he’s fine.
*hours later*
Harley: Peter, It’s 4 am. . . why are you baking a cake? Also what’s with the party decorations and candy?
Peter: I’m celebrating the death of my sleep schedule and sanity. . . cookie?
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beanzykin · 4 months ago
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Mj: Are you trying to tell me something?
Peter, placing down their dinner: What?
Mj: I wasn't going to say anything but this is the third night in a row that we had salad.
Mj: Am I not skinny enough for you or something?!
Peter: OH MY GOD- NO MJ, I SWEAR THATS NOT IT-
Mj: Then what is it?
Peter:
Mj: !??
Peter: I have five gallons of salad dressing.
Mj:
Mj: What the fuck-
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