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#incorrect quotes
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Gavin
Yes, I’m homophobic.
Gavin
99% of the problems in my life have been caused by a gay person.
Gavin
I mean that gay person happened to be my dumbass, but still.
8 notes
Coach Hedge
YOU’RE ALL DISAPPOINTMENTS
Coach Hedge
YOU KNOW WHO HASN’T BEEN A DISAPPOINTMENT YET? LEO.
Coach Hedge
BECAUSE I EXPECT HIM TO BE A BITCH AND HE ALWAYS IS.
Leo
Coach.
13 notes
Stan
What happened? Why is Mabel crying?
Dipper
She accidentally stepped on a ladybug. She froze up and cradled it in her hands, then she started crying. I didn't want to explain to her it was just a red M&M.
2 notes

*trying to pick the lock to Milo’s hotel room*
Zack: Why couldn’t we leave our suitcases in a locker at the airport?
Melissa: A child of 4 could pick those locks.
Zack: Maybe we should have that child with us now.

1 notes

Bertha: Anyways, we-
Lucian: “Anyways” isn’t a word, Bertha. What you mean to say is “anyway”.
Bertha:
Bertha: ANYWAY, we were discussing about your difficulties making friends.

4 notes

Peter: Bob, du musst auch mal was für deine Work-Life-Balance tun.

Bob: Mach ich doch. Ich arbeite viel und verdiene wenig. Muss man auch erstmal schaffen.

6 notes

Space Kid: *pulls a leaf off of a tree*

David: *almost crying* YOU CAN’T DO THAT! RIPPING LEAVES OFF TREES IS LIKE RIPPING OFF PEOPLE’S FINGERS!


Source

0 notes

Kaminari: You guys know those plushies that look cute and fluffy and you just wanna cuddle them but then you press them and they’re growling and shit?

The rest of 1A:

Kaminari: That’s me. Literally me. I’m adorable, like waaay too cute for this world, my hair is fluffy but then you press me and I say a dick joke

0 notes

Rekke: Don’t worry, I’m fine.

Aloth: You were stabbed!

Rekke: I’ve been stabbed before!

Aloth: It’s not like you build up an immunity to stab wounds!

1 notes

Four: Can you guys just TRY to see it from my perspective

Legend: * Gets on knees *

Warriors: * Crouches down *

Four:

Four: I will kill you both in your sleep

5 notes

ESTJ: Hey INTJ, can you take the trash out today?

INTJ: hmm

INTJ:

INTJ: ESTP, so where do you want to go out today?

0 notes

Persephone: Crushes are the worst.

Hades: Yeah. Whenever I’m near someone I have a crush on, I start acting stupid.

Persephone: You’re always acting stupid, Hades!

Hades:…Don’t think about that too hard.

0 notes
Joker
So basically my plan for dealing with pretty much anything this month is just no sleep, drink lots of coffee and hope that the power of love can get me through it all.
Harvey
Do you take constructive criticism?
Joker
Not without crying.
1 notes
Harley
Let’s have a coffee break. Fifteen.
Harley
I meant fifteen minutes; do not have fifteen coffees.
Floyd, vibrating slightly
Fucking say that, then.
0 notes

Basil x Ratigan Prompt #22

Basil: Why did you think that any of this was a good idea!?

Ratigan: Probably because I’m a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence.

1 notes
Talia
Are you a thief because you stole my–
Selina
I'll give you your money back, I'm sorry.
Talia
...heart, what the–
3 notes
Conversation
Merilwen
Prudence, you're the only one that understands me.
Prudence
Yes, but it does not mean I care.
1 notes