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#incorrect quotes generator
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Nico: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast? Percy: Several traffic violations. Jason: Three counts of resisting arrest. Leo: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks. Frank: Also, that’s not our car.
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the-dormant-ocean · 4 months
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Astarion : Don't worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.
Gale: I think you mean cards.
Astarion, pulling knives out of his sleeves: No.
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spnfic85 · 3 months
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Y/N: Hey, babe, remember how I had to go to the pharmacy to pick up my ADHD meds?
Sam: Yes?
Y/N: Well, it turns out they're all out for the next five days.
Sam: Fuck.
Y/N: It's gonna be a fun week!
Sam: I'm going to Dean's house.
Y/N: Nuh-uh. Through sickness and health, motherfucker.
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Obi-wan - we've been conducting an ongoing study to see what Anakin will and will not eat.
Cody - Grass? yes!
Obi-wan - Moss? yes!
Cody - Leaves? Oh yes!
Obi-wan - Shoelaces? strangely enough yes!
Cody - Worms? sometimes!
Obi-wan - Rocks? usually no!
Cody - Twigs? usually yeah!
Obi-wan - Ahsoka's cooking? Inconclusive!
Rex - Right, and how...how did you test this?
Obi-wan - oh well we just handed him things, and said 'hey eat this'.
Cody - and if he ate it, he ate it.
Rex - Right okay, i don't know how im supposed to feel about this.
Ahsoka - WAIT SO IS THAT WHERE ALL OF MY SHOE LACES WENT!?
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the-shadow-master · 1 year
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Percy: Annabeth and I are having a baby.
Nico: That's gre-
Percy, slamming adoption papers on the table: It's you, sign here.
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dorcasmckinnonn · 7 months
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Cardan: Why would you think any of this was a good idea?  Jude: Probably because I’m a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence.  Cardan:  Jude: I don’t know how you keep forgetting this.
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siriuslyhunter · 1 year
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Sirius: Some people are like slinkies. James: What? Sirius: Not really good for much but bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs. James: James: Please don't push Regulus down the stairs. Sirius, pushing Regulus down the stairs: Too late.
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human-space-heater · 9 months
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incorrect quotes: spiderman across the spider verse part 4
Miles: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don't want to sound mean. Gwen: No, go ahead. I want to hear it. Miles: It sucks. Gwen: That's not constructive criticism.
Peter B : I'm usually that person who has no idea what's going on.
Kidnapper: I have your partner. Miles: What? I don't have a partner... Kidnapper: Then who just called me a lowlife bitch and spit in my face? Miles: Oh, you have Hobie. Tell him dinner is getting cold
Miles: Where are your parents? Miguel: What are parents? Miles: That’s just about the saddest thing I ever heard get said.
Gwen: ....Thou shalt not marry each other, for thy art both sinful... Peter B : I just wanna fucking marry Miguel!!
Hobie: If you get in trouble, I'm gonna be like... a lawyer to you. Ok? Pavtir: Okay. *later* Miguel: Pavtir! Sit down on the chair, you're in trouble. Hobie, whispering: Deny everything. Pavtir, loudly: That isn't a chair.
Hobie: Why were you up yesterday until 3am? Pavtir: How did you know I was up until 3am? Peter B : We could hear you clapping to the FRIENDS intro every 25 minutes.
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akko-kagori · 8 months
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Diluc, after Crepus's death: I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck.
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nightmares-2 · 9 months
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BREAKBEEEEE!!!!
Incorrect quotes again
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Bumblebee, looking through their clothes: Has anyone seen my top?
Hashtag : Breakdown's in the kitchen.
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Swindle : Did you take out Bumblebee as I requested?
Breakdown: Bumblebee has been taken out, yes.
Swindle : You have my grat-
Breakdown: It was a great restaurant.
Breakdown: We had a romantic candlelit dinner.
Breakdown: I proposed afterwards- we’re filing the wedding papers.
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Bumblebee: Someone take me to art museums and make out with me.
Breakdown: But they said not to touch the masterpieces.
Bumblebee: Well somebody's got to pin the artwork to the wall.
Soundwave , on a walkie talkie: This is soundwave , those idiots are fucking around in the East wing again.
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Bumblebee: Come on, Hashtag . Nobody actually believes that Breakdown is in love with me.
Hashtag , to The Squad: Raise your hand if you think that Breakdown is helplessly in love with Bumblebee.
*Everyone raises their hand*
Bumblebee: Breakdown, put your hand down.
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Breakdown: I’m this close to falling in love with Bumblebee.
Mo: Your fingertips are touching.
Breakdown: Exactly.
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Robbie : H-how do you ask someone out?
Breakdown: Well, first-
Bumblebee: Don't ask them, they asked me out on a racetrack after i lost.
Robbie : ...And you said yes?
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Swindle: I dare you to kiss the next person who walks into this room.
Breakdown: Screw that, I’m not kissing any of you.
*Bumblebee walks in*
Breakdown: Fine, I’ll do it. Rules are rules you know.
~~
*Breakdown and Bumblebee flirting with each other yet again*
Megatron : And you two are sure you're not dating?
Breakdown: 100%.
Bumblebee: Of course not! Why would you think that?
Megatron : I wonder why that possibility would even cross my mind, Bumblebee. I fucking wonder.
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Thrash : Ooh, somebody has a crush
Breakdown: Pfft, I don’t have a crush on Bumblebee I just think they’re cool, it’s not like I stay up at night thinking about them.
*Later that night*
Breakdown, very much awake: Uh oh.
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Bumblebee: Two bros!
Breakdown: Chillin' in a hot tub!
Bumblebee and Breakdown, in unison: Zero feet apart 'cause we're GAY AS FUCK!
~~
A quick one before i go home from vacation (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠)
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incorrectleaguequotes · 7 months
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*Jinx is casually searching around the room*
Ezreal: Hey Jinx, what’re you looking for?
Jinx: My will to live.
*Lux walks into the room*
Jinx: Oh, there it is!
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Nico: I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not going to like it
Jason: Just rip the bandage off.
Nico: It’s Percy.
Jason: Put the bandage back on.
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Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.
Elijah: Shit.
Klaus: Wait, three?
Cop: Yeah?
Kol: OH MY GOD REBEKAH FELL OFF!!!
Elijah: Have you seen Klaus?
Kol: Ugh, yes. He made a horrible mess of the blood fountain.
Rebekah: It looks fine to me?
Kol: IT USED TO BE WATER!!!
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hootybal-lecter · 3 months
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Hannibal Incorrect Quotes
Hannibal: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don't want to sound mean. Chilton: No, go ahead. I want to hear it. Hannibal: It sucks. Chilton: That's not constructive criticism.
Alana: What have you done with Will? Hannibal: Nothing. Why, do you think I should?
Will: Unfortunately, due to several experiences in my youth, I cannot just 'walk up and join a circle of people talking', but it does sound lovely, thank you.
Freddie: Prepare to feel really bad about yourself. Will: I’ve been prepared for that my entire life. Freddie: Will: Or something mean about you.
Chilton: Get on my level! Hannibal: Unfortunately, to "get on your level" I'd need a boat trip to the Mariana Trench and a pair of cinderblock shoes.
Hannibal: We call that a traumatic experience. Hannibal, turning to Will: Not a "bruh moment". Hannibal, turning to Alana: Not "sadge". Hannibal, turning to Freddie: And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO".
Will: When I first met you, I did not like you. Chilton: I'm aware of that. Will: But then you and I had some time together. Chilton: Uh-huh? Will: It did not get better.
Hannibal: We’re going to defeat you with the power of friendship. Will: We’re not friends. Hannibal, holding an axe: We’re going to defeat you with the power of incredible violence.
Will: Screw lactose intolerance! I will consume as much dairy as I want! Will 2 hours later, crying on the floor: WHY DOES IT HURT SO MUCH?!
Alana: Hannibal, why is Will intruding on our cuddle time? Will: Hannibal, why is Alana intruding on our cuddle time? Hannibal, in distress: Please… I have two hands…
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randomrandomalright · 5 months
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Venti : Xiao is playing hard to get.
Venti : Little do they know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.
———
Venti : Hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers?
Xiao: Qingxin, why?
Venti :
Xiao: Were you going to get me flowers?
Venti :
Xiao:
Venti : ᶦᵗ’ˢ ᵃ ᵖᵒˢˢᶦᵇᶦˡᶦᵗʸ
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Xiao: Are you ready to commit?
Venti : Like, a crime or a relationship?
———
Venti : My hands are cold.
Xiao: Here, let me hold them.
Venti : My lips are cold too.
Xiao: *covers Venti 's mouth with their hand*
———
Xiao: Is something burning?
Venti , leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you.
Xiao: Venti , the toaster is literally on fire.
———
Xiao : Come to dinner tonight. I can’t cook, but I’ll bring plenty of free wine.
Venti: Marry me.
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the-shadow-master · 1 year
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Merlin: I can explain.
Arthur: Can you?
Merlin: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.
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