#incorrect quotes generator

[theprinceofdarknesssquad]

Nico: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast? Percy: Several traffic violations. Jason: Three counts of resisting arrest. Leo: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks. Frank: Also, that’s not our car.

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[the-dormant-ocean]

Astarion : Don't worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.

Gale: I think you mean cards.

Astarion, pulling knives out of his sleeves: No.

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[spnfic85]

Y/N: Hey, babe, remember how I had to go to the pharmacy to pick up my ADHD meds?

Sam: Yes?

Y/N: Well, it turns out they're all out for the next five days.

Sam: Fuck.

Y/N: It's gonna be a fun week!

Sam: I'm going to Dean's house.

Y/N: Nuh-uh. Through sickness and health, motherfucker.

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[im-here-and-im-confused]

Obi-wan - we've been conducting an ongoing study to see what Anakin will and will not eat.

Cody - Grass? yes!

Obi-wan - Moss? yes!

Cody - Leaves? Oh yes!

Obi-wan - Shoelaces? strangely enough yes!

Cody - Worms? sometimes!

Obi-wan - Rocks? usually no!

Cody - Twigs? usually yeah!

Obi-wan - Ahsoka's cooking? Inconclusive!

Rex - Right, and how...how did you test this?

Obi-wan - oh well we just handed him things, and said 'hey eat this'.

Cody - and if he ate it, he ate it.

Rex - Right okay, i don't know how im supposed to feel about this.

Ahsoka - WAIT SO IS THAT WHERE ALL OF MY SHOE LACES WENT!?

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[the-shadow-master]

Percy: Annabeth and I are having a baby.

Nico: That's gre-

Percy, slamming adoption papers on the table: It's you, sign here.

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[dorcasmckinnonn]

Cardan: Why would you think any of this was a good idea?  Jude: Probably because I’m a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence.  Cardan:  Jude: I don’t know how you keep forgetting this.

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[siriuslyhunter]

Sirius: Some people are like slinkies. James: What? Sirius: Not really good for much but bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs. James: James: Please don't push Regulus down the stairs. Sirius, pushing Regulus down the stairs: Too late.

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[human-space-heater]

incorrect quotes: spiderman across the spider verse part 4

Miles: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don't want to sound mean. Gwen: No, go ahead. I want to hear it. Miles: It sucks. Gwen: That's not constructive criticism.

Peter B : I'm usually that person who has no idea what's going on.

Kidnapper: I have your partner. Miles: What? I don't have a partner... Kidnapper: Then who just called me a lowlife bitch and spit in my face? Miles: Oh, you have Hobie. Tell him dinner is getting cold

Miles: Where are your parents? Miguel: What are parents? Miles: That’s just about the saddest thing I ever heard get said.

Gwen: ....Thou shalt not marry each other, for thy art both sinful... Peter B : I just wanna fucking marry Miguel!!

Hobie: If you get in trouble, I'm gonna be like... a lawyer to you. Ok? Pavtir: Okay. *later* Miguel: Pavtir! Sit down on the chair, you're in trouble. Hobie, whispering: Deny everything. Pavtir, loudly: That isn't a chair.

Hobie: Why were you up yesterday until 3am? Pavtir: How did you know I was up until 3am? Peter B : We could hear you clapping to the FRIENDS intro every 25 minutes.

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[akko-kagori]

Diluc, after Crepus's death: I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck.

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[nightmares-2]

BREAKBEEEEE!!!!

Incorrect quotes again

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bumblebee, looking through their clothes: Has anyone seen my top?

Hashtag : Breakdown's in the kitchen.

~~

Swindle : Did you take out Bumblebee as I requested?

Breakdown: Bumblebee has been taken out, yes.

Swindle : You have my grat-

Breakdown: It was a great restaurant.

Breakdown: We had a romantic candlelit dinner.

Breakdown: I proposed afterwards- we’re filing the wedding papers.

~~

Bumblebee: Someone take me to art museums and make out with me.

Breakdown: But they said not to touch the masterpieces.

Bumblebee: Well somebody's got to pin the artwork to the wall.

Soundwave , on a walkie talkie: This is soundwave , those idiots are fucking around in the East wing again.

~~

Bumblebee: Come on, Hashtag . Nobody actually believes that Breakdown is in love with me.

Hashtag , to The Squad: Raise your hand if you think that Breakdown is helplessly in love with Bumblebee.

*Everyone raises their hand*

Bumblebee: Breakdown, put your hand down.

~~

Breakdown: I’m this close to falling in love with Bumblebee.

Mo: Your fingertips are touching.

Breakdown: Exactly.

~~

Robbie : H-how do you ask someone out?

Breakdown: Well, first-

Bumblebee: Don't ask them, they asked me out on a racetrack after i lost.

Robbie : ...And you said yes?

~~

Swindle: I dare you to kiss the next person who walks into this room.

Breakdown: Screw that, I’m not kissing any of you.

*Bumblebee walks in*

Breakdown: Fine, I’ll do it. Rules are rules you know.

~~

*Breakdown and Bumblebee flirting with each other yet again*

Megatron : And you two are sure you're not dating?

Breakdown: 100%.

Bumblebee: Of course not! Why would you think that?

Megatron : I wonder why that possibility would even cross my mind, Bumblebee. I fucking wonder.

~~

Thrash : Ooh, somebody has a crush

Breakdown: Pfft, I don’t have a crush on Bumblebee I just think they’re cool, it’s not like I stay up at night thinking about them.

*Later that night*

Breakdown, very much awake: Uh oh.

~~

Bumblebee: Two bros!

Breakdown: Chillin' in a hot tub!

Bumblebee and Breakdown, in unison: Zero feet apart 'cause we're GAY AS FUCK!

~~

A quick one before i go home from vacation (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠)

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[incorrectleaguequotes]

*Jinx is casually searching around the room*

Ezreal: Hey Jinx, what’re you looking for?

Jinx: My will to live.

*Lux walks into the room*

Jinx: Oh, there it is!

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[theprinceofdarknesssquad]

Nico: I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not going to like it

Jason: Just rip the bandage off.

Nico: It’s Percy.

Jason: Put the bandage back on.

#i can imagine jason doing that #jason being jason #why wasn't this line in the books #this should be canon #jasico #nico di angelo #pjo #hoo #percy jackson #heroes of olympus #jason grace #percy jackson and the olympians #solangelo #toa #trials of apollo #incorrect quotes generator #pjo incorrect quotes

[allthosepeopleilovetofangirlover]

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.

Elijah: Shit.

Klaus: Wait, three?

Cop: Yeah?

Kol: OH MY GOD REBEKAH FELL OFF!!!

Elijah: Have you seen Klaus?

Kol: Ugh, yes. He made a horrible mess of the blood fountain.

Rebekah: It looks fine to me?

Kol: IT USED TO BE WATER!!!

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[hootybal-lecter]

Hannibal Incorrect Quotes

Hannibal: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don't want to sound mean. Chilton: No, go ahead. I want to hear it. Hannibal: It sucks. Chilton: That's not constructive criticism.

Alana: What have you done with Will? Hannibal: Nothing. Why, do you think I should?

Will: Unfortunately, due to several experiences in my youth, I cannot just 'walk up and join a circle of people talking', but it does sound lovely, thank you.

Freddie: Prepare to feel really bad about yourself. Will: I’ve been prepared for that my entire life. Freddie: Will: Or something mean about you.

Chilton: Get on my level! Hannibal: Unfortunately, to "get on your level" I'd need a boat trip to the Mariana Trench and a pair of cinderblock shoes.

Hannibal: We call that a traumatic experience. Hannibal, turning to Will: Not a "bruh moment". Hannibal, turning to Alana: Not "sadge". Hannibal, turning to Freddie: And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO".

Will: When I first met you, I did not like you. Chilton: I'm aware of that. Will: But then you and I had some time together. Chilton: Uh-huh? Will: It did not get better.

Hannibal: We’re going to defeat you with the power of friendship. Will: We’re not friends. Hannibal, holding an axe: We’re going to defeat you with the power of incredible violence.

Will: Screw lactose intolerance! I will consume as much dairy as I want! Will 2 hours later, crying on the floor: WHY DOES IT HURT SO MUCH?!

Alana: Hannibal, why is Will intruding on our cuddle time? Will: Hannibal, why is Alana intruding on our cuddle time? Hannibal, in distress: Please… I have two hands…

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[randomrandomalright]

Venti : Xiao is playing hard to get.

Venti : Little do they know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.

———

Venti : Hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers?

Xiao: Qingxin, why?

Venti :

Xiao: Were you going to get me flowers?

Venti :

Xiao:

Venti : ᶦᵗ’ˢ ᵃ ᵖᵒˢˢᶦᵇᶦˡᶦᵗʸ

———

Xiao: Are you ready to commit?

Venti : Like, a crime or a relationship?

———

Venti : My hands are cold.

Xiao: Here, let me hold them.

Venti : My lips are cold too.

Xiao: *covers Venti 's mouth with their hand*

———

Xiao: Is something burning?

Venti , leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you.

Xiao: Venti , the toaster is literally on fire.

———

Xiao : Come to dinner tonight. I can’t cook, but I’ll bring plenty of free wine.

Venti: Marry me.

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[the-shadow-master]

Merlin: I can explain.

Arthur: Can you?

Merlin: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.

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