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#incorrect quotes obey me
k1b0s-soft-hands · a day ago
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Obey Me as things people have said in Discord
The Series
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MC: Now hear me out...
Satan: Get out.
Leviathan: Oh no, I want to hear this
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Mammon: I'm totally brok now
MC: Just like my heart #Emo
Mammon:...Did you just say hastag in a sentence
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Lucifer: I hate you so much
MC: that's not true
MC: If you hated ne you wouldn't put up with my bullshit
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Belphie: You can't just be everyones therapist MC
MC: Watch me.
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Beelzebub: Belphie, MC, Come get food with me
Belphie: I'm not hungry
Beelzebub: Yes you are, lets go.
Belphie: Damn it
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Leviathan: MC you suck at Mario Kart
MC: You've hit every wall, and this is the easiest level.
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Diavolo: Tell me more about this valentine's day
MC: It's basically a holiday that reminds people to wear condoms and take their birth control
Solomon: I want to argue but you're not wrong.
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Asmodeus: Tell me I'm beautiful MC
MC: You have a nice ass
Asmodeus: I'll take it
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Barbatos: MC has been ranting about their life in the Devildom
Barbatos: Most of the complaints were about people breaking in their room
Barbatos: I told MC to sleep with a knife.
Barbatos: All of the brothers are now in the hospital.
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MC: Mammon is not in love with me
Mammon: Exactly I'm not into [Gender]
Lucifer: Are these lies coming straight out of your ass?
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Leviathan: Okay MC whats your Username?
MC: MCuwu
Leviathan: ...Right.
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Satan: ARE YOU-
mc: -fucking-
Satan: -KIDDING ME?! YOU
Mc: -fucking-
Satan: -IDIOT!!
Asmo: and why is this happening
Mc: satan was banned from swearing by lucifer so I offered to help out.
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asmoyonce · 8 months ago
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lucifer: so how did you guys get into a car accident?
mc: well, we were driving and there was a deer in the road and diavolo didnt notice. so i yelled ‘dia, deer!’ and do you want to tell lucifer what your response was?
diavolo, reluctantly: yes, honey?
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bunnies-on-saturn · a month ago
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Obey me incorrect quotes pt3
Belphie: Hey Lucifer I have a question.
Lucifer: *sighing* Yes Belphie.
Belphie: Can a human breath inside a washing machine while it’s on?
Lucifer: ….
Lucifer: Where’s MC?
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obeymetwins · 3 months ago
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Mammon: He's really gone... I'll never forget the last words Lucifer said to me...
Leviathan: What did he say to you?
Mammon, tears in his eyes: "Fuck bitches.. Get money, Mammon.."
Satan, deadpanning: No, he didn't. He said, "Fuck you, bitch. You're not getting my money, Mammon."
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iameliseposts · a month ago
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Lucifer: I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you.
Mammon: And I'm trying to avoid it!
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kpop-otome-yandere-here · 10 months ago
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Mc: do you ever get so annoyed at everything that you start to get pissed off at even little things like a spoon clinking against a bowl or sounds of people talking.
Satan: I think it's called sensory overload. It's really common in people with anxiety.
Lucifer: It can also be a result of sleep deprivation, stress, or ever dehydration!!
Mc: thanks I thought I was just being a bitch.
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iris2-0 · 8 months ago
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Asmodeus, languidly sprawled across MC’s bed: “Darling, that outfit is positively atrocious!”
MC, very much comfortable in their ratty old t-shirt and mismatched shorts: “I don’t see the problem here.”
Asmodeus, groaning: “MC!! Your outfit is practically a crime!!”
MC, raising in eyebrow rather dismissively: “I think you should refocus your efforts on the person in this house most in need of help.”
Asmodeus, woefully: “I’ve tried! He’s a lost cause.”
MC, slipping on a pair of sunglasses that are far too big for them: “Sounds like you’re in need of reinforcements.”
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
MC, dashing into the library with an urgency not at all yielded by the situation at hand: “YOU’RE UNDER ARREST!”
Satan, closing his book and looking at them smugly: “Why? Did I steal your heart?”
MC, gesturing broadly towards his outfit without even missing a beat: “No, you’re a serial offender of fashion crimes!!!”
Satan, running after a shrieking MC with only murder on his mind: “SAYS THE PERSON WEARING A TSHIRT SO THREADBARE I COULDN’T EVEN WRING YOUR NECK WITH IT!”
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megamindscum · 11 months ago
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Me: *thinking about Diavolo whilst I'm horny* God, I'd let that man ruin me...
My brain immediately, judgementally after: He literally dresses like a barbecue dad.
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it-hurts-when-i-blink · 7 months ago
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Obey me Incorrect Quotes
luke : Mc and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us simeon: *Sighing* What did Mc do? luke : They chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and... Mc: Who wants a steering wheel?
luke : Why are you on the floor? Mc: I'm depressed. Mc: Also I was stabbed, can you get simeon, please.
luke , driving Mc and simeon: So how was your day? Mc: We almost got surprise adopted! luke : What? simeon: We almost got kidnapped. luke : Oh, okay. luke : *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!
luke , texting Mc: Mc! Help I’m being kidnapped simeon: Where are you? luke : I’m with some strange person. In a car. Help. Mc: I’ll call simeon. simeon, answering their cell: Y’ello? Mc: Where’s luke ? They texted me that they were being kidnapped. simeon: luke ? Whaddya mean, they're right next to me- simeon: simeon: I’ll call you back. *hangs up* simeon: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN’T THAT BAD! luke : WHO ARE YOU?!
luke : I really like this whole ‘good guy, bad guy’ thing you guys have going on. Mc: It’s not an act, it’s just that I’m mean and simeon isn’t
simeon: , trying to ask Mc out: Would you like to stay for dinner? luke: WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER?
luke : Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container. Mc: The cow??? luke : What? simeon: Mc, W H Y?
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Mc: *having finally finished fixing all the problems in the demon brothers house* *sigh* finally. So your all good now
Brothers: yes... Why?
Mc: well you see I have crippling anxiety I also have depression. I have social anxiety and lots more now I can work on fixing myself.
Beel: you what?
Mammon: you mean... you mean you were helping us even though you aren't mentally stable
Mc: yes why
Asmo: nope that's not good
Belphie: now I just feel worse
Satan: please tell me your joking
Mc: I'm not joking I figured you guys need more help then me. And your family situation could still be saved so I tried to help
Levi: our family situation?
Lucifer: right, so since you helped us its only fair we help you in return right?
Satan: yep that's how it works
Mammon: alright let's get started time to help mc
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asmoyonce · 7 months ago
simeon: honestly, i'm a little scared of mc
lucifer: they wouldn't hurt a fly
simeon: that's reassuring
lucifer: they would kill a man though
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bunnies-on-saturn · 2 months ago
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Obey me incorrect quotes Pt.2 :
Middle schooler Lucifer: I have one brother who needs to be touching me at all times
*2-3 year old Levitation hiding behind Lucifer whining*
Lucifer: And if he is not touching me it’s just..all hell breaks lose, and I have another brother who
*5-7 year old Mammon jumping face first off the couch onto the floor*
Lucifer: Who’s determined to kill himself..
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a-gross-little-human · a year ago
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MC: *does something stupid*
Lucifer: you’re stupidly adorable and I love you
Meanwhile
Mammon: *does something stupid*
Lucifer: what the fuck Mammon! You little bitch never do that again and never come near me ever again
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pridymcprideface · a year ago
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Lesser Demon: I have your daughter
Lucifer: I don’t have a daughter
Lesser Demon: Then who just asked for warm chocolate milk and made us cut the crust off of her sandwiches?
Lucifer: Oh my god you have pridymcprideface
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kpop-otome-yandere-here · 10 months ago
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Mc:*yawns*
Lúcifer: let me guess, being pretty must be tiring
Mc:*tilts her head * then you must be exhausted
Lúcifer: *blushes furiously*
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mammoron · a year ago
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Hey everyone!
This is my new obey me blog!! This is my alt so it’s still under construction uwu
I hope you have fun!! Feel free to talk to me, submit stuff to this blog and idk let’s be friends skskkskd
💖💝💕💞💓💓💞💕💝💖💝💕💞💓
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