#incorrect red robin
batshitferalquotes · 2 months ago
Therapist: On a scale from 1-10, rate your pain.
Tim: pi, a minimal but a never ending number.
Therapist: What the actual f*ck.
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theundeadrobinclub · a month ago
Jason: *walks into the room while whistling and spinning his keys around his fingers*
Tim: oh my god, who'd you kill?
Jason: why would you assume I killed someone?
Steph: you're happy. like genuinely. someone has to have died.
Jason: yeah that's fair. the Jokers dead. however, I did not kill him. so, suck it, Tim.
Tim: you expect us to believe it wasn't you?
Jason: uh, yeah.
Jason: look, even if you didn't believe me, you won't be able to find any proof that I did it. so once again, suck it Tim.
Jason: *walks out of room whistling and spinning his keys*
Tim: he totally did it.
Steph: oh yeah.
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gotham-exclusive · 3 months ago
Bernard: Who hurt you?
Tim, jokingly: Do you want a list?
Bernard, dead serious, taking out a pen and paper: Yes
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Jason: Ew, what kind of tea is this???
Tim: I boiled Gatorade.
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clamityganon · a year ago
Bruce: Would you jump off a bridge if the Team pressured you into doing it?
Tim: Bruce, with all due respect, my mother gave birth to a leader. An innovator. A pioneer.
Tim: I’m the first one off the fucking bridge
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jasonsthunderthighs · 6 days ago
Jason: *Flicks his lighter near Tim's hand for a second*
Tim: *Doesn't flinch and looks at him*
Jason: Why didn't you flinch???
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mr-crimefrog · 2 months ago
Tim, having consumed enough caffeine to kill four cows and hanging from the banister: Gₒd ᵢₛ dₑₐd. ᵢ ₖᵢₗₗₑd Tₕₑₘ.
Dick, coming in from patrol: W h a t t h e f u c k
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catxsnow · 9 months ago
Customer: I'd like to buy a bagel with cream cheese
Tim: Sorry, we only take cash here
Manager: Tim can I talk to you
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enchantingruinscandy · 4 months ago
Damian: What is love?
Barbara: It's a feeling you get for someone you're close to and that you care about
Tim: Scientifically speaking, it's a chemical reaction in the brai—
Dick and Jason, bursting into the room: OH, BABY DON'T HURT ME. DON'T HURT ME. NO MOOOOOORE
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jubileeavemealone · 10 months ago
Kon: Tim, I’m gonna put my cookie in the con queso dip.
Tim: That’s disgusting. I’m gonna do the same thing.
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incorrextfandomquotes · a year ago
y/n: [ opening curtains ]
tim: [flinching away]
tim: whAT IS THAT
y/n: that’s the sun duckie, it’s after dawn
tim: it’s offending me. turn it off.
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batshitferalquotes · 2 months ago
Damian: Did you seriously bring a butter knife to this fight?!
Tim: You get angry so fast, it was the only weapon I could find on such short notice!
Dick: But you know, you have to admit it is BUTTER than nothing.
Damian: ...
Tim: ...
Dick: I'm sorry.
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theundeadrobinclub · 2 months ago
Tim, over comms: hey Hood, you got a sec?
Jason: I'm killing someone. Hold, please.
Tim: *tense silence*
Jason: alright wassup?
Tim: are they really dead?
Jason: not currently. but probably close.
Tim, sighing: alright so anyway I need assistance on this case-
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gotham-exclusive · a year ago
Dick: It’s almost time for us to switch from our regular, everyday weapons to our holiday weapons!
Duke: Is there a difference?
Tim: Yeah, the holiday ones light up.
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Damian: Shouldn't we be taking out the trash?
Tim: Hold on, hold on. I have to moan about it on Gotham Plus first.
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clamityganon · a year ago
Jason: Let’s play two truths one lie
Dick: Okay!
Dick: My eyes are pale gray, I can do acrobatic tricks, and I once beat the Joker to death
Jason: Okay so you get the idea, but you should really try to make this harder
Tim, walking by: His eyes are pale blue
Jason: You wHAT—
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jasonsthunderthighs · a year ago
Jason: What are you doing?
Tim: *standing on the table* I’m practically the backbone of this Unit. I stand where I want, when I want.
Jason: Just tell me where the spider is.
Tim: It’s under the desk please kill it please-
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hoodedwing · 10 months ago
Gay Beyond Doubt
Tim: I’m not gay!
Kon: *exists*
Tim: I’m gay and I can’t say that with a straight face.
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catxsnow · a year ago
Tim: Did... did you just refer to a knife as a people opener?
Damian: Should I not have?
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jaydickincorrect · a year ago
Tim: This is an ugly term. This “Stalker”. I prefer unpaid investigator.
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