Emerald, bursting through the door: HOW DARE YOU?!
Mercury, instantly: How dare ME? How dare YOU-
Mercury: Wait, wait, what is this about again?
Jaune: I’m Uno!
Nora: In Dous!
Ren: I’m quatro.
Oscar: What happened to Tres?
Jaune: We do not speak of Tres..
Jaune: And, like, you guys go on all those long, long walks in the woods. How awkward would it be if one of you were gay?
Yang, glancing at Blake: Yeah, it would be awkward if ONE of us were gay
Ruby: I’m so ready to be able to legally drink
Ruby: Only eating all these years has left me very thirsty
Ruby: I have heard very good things about water
(my personal bumbleby headcanon is this happening and i take no criticism)
yang: brb babe gotta go fistfight a group of 20+ people, blow up a club and destroy a horde of grimm with my bare hands real quick
blake: ok!! see you at home!!
blake: stay safe though 🥺
blake: AND KICK THEIR ASS!! LOVE U!!
ill have um.. an extra large of badass fighting gfs with …fries and a sprite
Jaune, at Pyrrha’s funeral: Do you want to hear what I have for a eulogy so far?
Jaune: *Takes a deep breath*
Jaune: That’s all I have
Ruby: Don’t let anyone else ruin your day!
Yang: Yeah! You gotta take matters into your own hands! RUIN YOUR OWN DAY!
Yang, teaching Blake spanish: Yo entiendo.
Ruby: I also… play nintendo.
Pyrrha: Do you think different paints have different tastes?
Nora: They do
Pyrrha: …why did you say that with such certainty?
Neptune: According to this police report, we’ve got a homicide victim…
Sun: Cause of death: suicide.
Neptune: Huh? The victim was beaten to death.
Neptune: He had shotgun blasts riddling his body!
Sun: Still a suicide.
Neptune: And there were eyewitness reports of a “red-eyed supernova”.
Sun: Definitely suicide.
Neptune: I don’t believe you.
Sun: Keep reading the report.
Neptune: “Victim was last seen… making derogatory sexual comments to Yang Xiao Long.”
Neptune: So… suicide?
Sun: Case closed.
Ghira: that thing is your…girlfriend?…
Yang [trying to reach her elbow with the tongue]: huh?
Blake [Very proud of it]: yes
Ruby: *ordering a cake on the phone*
Baker: So what would you like the cake to say?
Ruby, covering her phone to ask her wife: Weiss! Do we want a talking cake!?!?
Ruby: I love you
Weiss: I love you too
Ruby: This is real
Weiss: I know
Ruby: You’re my wife!
Weiss: You’re my wife!
Ruby: You married me in front of people!
Weiss: I did! I was there!
Qrow: I like my men how I like my coffee
Qrow: *Eyeing up Clover as he pours whiskey into his mug*
Yang: Or, we do this the old-fashioned way!
Yang: *Pulls out a molotov cocktail*
Jaune: How did you make that so fast?!
Willow: Weiss, get that hideous thing out of my house!
Weiss, to Jacques: Mom wants you out of the house.
Blake: *walks in, visibly embarrassed*
Weiss: What’s wrong?
Blake: Yang said Happy birthday to me.
Nora: Well, that’s good, isn’t it?
Blake: You two don’t understand.
Blake: I said Happy birthday to her back.
Qrow: I think I should adopt another kid.
Qrow: No, wait, I already have nine of them.
Yang, Jaune, Oscar and Ren: *come back with Emerald*
Ruby: It’s crazy how Leonardo could paint and invent all those things and still find the time to be a crime-fighting turtle.
Jaune: And he was amazing in Titanic.
Nora: A real Renaissance man.
Ren: What the fuck.