Saiki: The real treasure was the memories we made along the way.
Toritsuka: I almost died.
Saiki: That... was my favorite memory.
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Saiki: Toritsuka, If I ever decide to have children in the future, I'm never letting you meet them. I'd invite Aiura and Akechi to all their parties. Except you, though.
Not unless you- *hand gestures* change this part of you.
Toritsuka: You just gestured to all of me. 🧑🦲
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*pulling Nendou's car*
Aren: sir, how high are you?
Nendou: hi, how are you?
Aren: no sir, i said, how high are you?
Nendou: hi, how are you? This cop is so nice, pal!
Saiki: *face palm*
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Incorrect quotes~ Saiki x Reader
______________________________________
Saiki: “I hate everyone”
Y/n: Shivers
Saiki: Slides a cup of hot chocolate in Y/n’s hands
Saiki: “Take my jacket and drink this.”
______________________________________
Y/n: “Don’t worry, I have a plan A and B!”
Saiki: Raising his eyebrow “What’s plan A?”
Y/n: “Don’t fuck this up”
Saiki: “What’s plan B?”
Y/n: “Don’t fuck up plan A”
______________________________________
Teruhashi: Gasp “Why doesn’t Saiki like me?!”
Saiki: “Would you like the list alphabetically, or?”
______________________________________
Teruhashi: “What does Y/n have that I don’t?!”
Kaidou: “Nothing!”
Saiki: “Everything.”
______________________________________
Y/n: Sneezes
Saiki: “Are you sick? Do you need to go home? Take this medicine and eat this soup. Go rest.”
Literally anyone else: Sneezes
Saiki: “Oh my god, shut up”
______________________________________
Y/n: Yawns
Saiki: “Lights out”
Y/n: “But-”
Saiki: Teleporting them both in bed
Saiki: “I said, lights out”
______________________________________
Y/n: Excitedly “Look! Kaidou drew me!”
Saiki: “No he didn’t”
Y/n: “What do you mean? He-”
Saiki: Crumpling a piece of paper “Like I said: No, he didn’t”
______________________________________
Pt 2
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Saiki K: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything?
Nendo: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital
Saiki K: That wasn’t an ambulance, I drove you.
Nendo: but I heard a siren.
Saiki K: That was Kaido screaming.
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Nendou: Why did the chicken cross the street?
Aren: Why?
Nendou: To get to the idiot's house.
Nendou: Knock Knock
Aren: Who's there?
Nendou: The chicken.
Aren: ...
Aren: I won't punch you on one conditions.
Nendou: Yeah?
Aren: Tell that joke to Saiki.
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Store Worker: Would a “Saiki” please come to the front desk?
Saiki, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?
Store Worker, pointing to Nendo and Kaido: I believe they belong to you?
Nendo and Kaido, simultaneously: We got lost.
Saiki: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me—
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Saiki: We need to distract these guys.
Akechi: Leave it to me.
Akechi: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.
Toritsuka & Aiura: *immediately begin arguing*
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Toritsuka: hey Saiki, how many cups of coffee have you had today?
Saiki: this is only my second cup *cut to him shaking in the corner with dark circles under his eyes drinking another cup of coffee *
Saiki: *looks at camera like it’s the office * this is my 31st cup of coffee today
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Aiura: Guys, be honest with me, is this outfit a slay or a nay?
Saiki: A what or a what?
Aiura: Cutie or totally tootie?
Saiki:
Aiura: A “smash or pass.” A “totes or bloats.” A “fun or done.” A “gold or sold—”
Saiki: I GIVE UP!
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