AJ and Cassie: Why are Uncle Sam and Uncle Jamie sitting with their backs to each other?
Sarah: They had a fight.
AJ and Cassie: Then why are they holding hands?
Sarah: They get sad when they fight.
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Bucky: Marinara sauce trench
Sam, sighing deeply: You realise that, just because you're my boyfriend, does not mean I will hesitate to kick your ass
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Sam: How long do you think it will take?
Bucky: I don't know, three or four.
Sam: Three or four what?
Sam: Days? Weeks? Months?
Bucky: Yeah, maybe five.
Sam: Five what!?
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John: You don't wanna do this
Sam: Bitch, the only thing keeping Barnes and Noble here, from going full White Wolf on your ass was me and my morals.
Bucky: Permission to fight?
Sam: Permission granted
Bucky: HELL FUCKING YEAH
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gonna need a 120k fic about Sam and Bucky's domestic life in Louisiana together once fatws is over. Complete with normal couple and family drama. No world ending. pls and thank you
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Bucky: If you get married, Then can I have a major role in the wedding ?
Sam: you wanna be the best man ?
Bucky: Hmmm interesting how about the groom!
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The Avengers as John Mulaney gifs part two
The Avengers every time there’s a fight scene:
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sam, glaring: barnes.
zemo, sipping his tea and narrowing his eyes: james.
bucky, sweating slightly: besties
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Sam: We need to distract the guards.
Sam: What are you gonna do?
Bucky: I’m going to kill them all. That ought to distract them.
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Sam: So yeah this town is like super accepting.
Bucky: Good to know but I just need to stay one night.
Sam: Yeah everyone is cool about stuff like tight shirts, gay sex...
Sam: Two men in a romantic relationship opening a BnB. All kinds of stuff.
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Sam: There’s only one thing worse than dying.
Sam: *Rips off paper to reveal ‘Bucky dying’.
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every now and then, Bucky gets adopted by a black community. we love it for him.
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I know we're really not on great terms right now and you'd probably destroy me in a fight, but I'm going to visit my boyfriend's family and I can't turn up there without a gift
- Bucky Barnes probably
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[Bucky throwing rocks at Sam's window]
Sam: What are you doing?
Bucky: I wanted to see you
Sam: Why didn't you use your phone?
Sam: I MEANT CALL ME NOT THROW YOUR PHONE AT THE WINDOW
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Sam: you said to people we're not partners...
Bucky: I'm sorry Samuel, I didn't know the modern meaning of this word.
Sam: the fuck Buck? we ARE partners in every definition of this WORD !
Sam: is this your weird smile again? Stop it i'm not a stranger to you
Bucky: but you're my partner
Sam: THE FUCK MAN stop playin with my nerves
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Sam: [walks into the kitchen wearing one of Bucky’s shirts]
Sarah: So you spent the night with Bucky, huh?
Sam, internally: Play dumb.
Sam: Who the hell is Bucky?
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The Falcon and the Winter Soldier + Incorrect Quotes part 5/?
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Bucky: You hate Sam, right?
Steve: No, I like Sam.
Bucky: So we're on the same page.
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-----tfatws s01e05 spoilers------
tell me you and your homie are "two bros chillin' in a hot tub, five feet apart, cause they're not gay" without actually telling me that you and your homie are "two bros chillin' in a hot tub, five feet apart, cause they're not gay"
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Sam: Babe, it's time to get up
Bucky: I'm not sleeping. I'm dead. Leave flowers and get out
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