Roman: *Clapping at a TV show*
Remus: Did you know clapping is just hitting yourself because you like something
Remus: ya know what? fuck around and see what happens!
Virgil: my motto is, if you fall down, stay down.
Deceit: lie with me or I will starting lying with you.
Patton: do- do you guys want cookies???
Patton: Aww, some child drew a funny-looking giraffe!
Logan: There aren’t any children here.
Roman: [clenching his jaw] It’s an alpaca.
Deceit: This afternoon I pointed at the crayons and asked Remus what’s in the box and he just went on saying “chaos!” “chaos!”
I know he’s trying to say crayons but—
Logan [looking at the doodled wall]: He’s not wrong.
Deceit [sipping his drink quietly]: Nope.
Remus: I am a simple man
Remus: I crave one thing
Remus: C H A O S
Thomas: So how are all of you dealing with quarantine?
Deceit: Quarantine is so boring, I’ve resorted to trying to bury myself in the gardens on multiple occasions.
Remus: Drugs and alcohol are my lord and savior now, Thommy.
Logan, beating everyone with a ruler: Six feet, heathens!
Virgil: Cute compilation videos and my dog are my only sanity.
Patton: Well, I just keep making food and pretending it’s a normal day!
Roman: I’ve tried to self-isolate myself seven times but Remus keeps breaking down the wall in our room screaming “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!” and then throwing bricks at me, so yeah. It’s going great.
Remus: *kisses Deceit’s forehead*
Deceit, whining and pouting: Carry me to bed?
Remus: Alright, but only because you have a migraine.
Deceit about Remus: It’s not that he’s “evil”… He just lacks empathy and he goes into a dissociative state and commits atrocities.
Remus: So I sleep with stuffed animals.
Patton: Awww! That’s cute!
Remus: I just can’t help it I love taxidermy.
Logan: You’d rather not know, trust me on this one.
Roman: I’ve adopted a dozen chickens.
Remus: And I’ve adopted twelve ducks.
Virgil: I have about a good dozen and a half cats.
Logan: I have a three birds.
Patton: I’m happy with my six puppies.
Deceit, appreciating his three dozen snakes from afar: Hah, newbs.
Thomas: Why is it that, when I leave you all alone, you all go crazy?
Logan: A man was paralyzed after eating 413 chicken nuggets
Remus, cracking his knuckles: so the limit is 412
Roman: *making everyone breakfast*
Virgil: There’s my pretty prince. Hazel’s awake. You have about ten minutes before she comes down here and asks for her Mommy to kiss her good morning. *hugs up behind Roman and leans his head on Roman’s while Roman cooks*
Roman: You might be tall, and I may want nothing but you to drag me back to bed, but I’m making our family and our daughter breakfast and you and your hotness can wait until we’re alone.
Deceit: YOU IDIOTS, let me have my beauty sleep do you think I’m flawless at no cost??? I don’t want to save your sorry asses at two in the morning and Logan come home immediately let’s fuck for science!
Roman: My blood type is glitter.