#incorrect spider fam | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thesharktanksdriver · 6 months

Note

Hey! Its me again! :D

I love the fact that Reader plays a ukulele to distract themselves away from their thoughts, it's wholesome oml.

*THE TOXIC GOSSIP TRAIN FLASH BLACK*

(ALSO Your post abt Zoro and reader is so funny and gives me the giggles- I love platonic one piece ITS SO UNDERRATED)

Anyways, I have a few random memes and incorrect quotes for your reader and the Determination! Series! Hope you'll like it! :)

———————

*this takes place after Zoro just joined Luffy's pirate crew and Reader is tagging along*

Luffy : Hey Zoro! I just have one question for you

Zoro : What is it Luffy? *His arms behind his head trying to nap*

Luffy : What color is an orange?

Zoro : Luffy you bonehead, the color is just the same as its name. Just like a lemon *he is proud of himself*

Reader : *questioning their decisions*

———————

Crewmate : You're smiling. What happened?

Young!Buggy : What? Can't I smile just because I feel like it?

Reader : Shanks tripped and fell down the stairs today. *Treating shanks broken nose*

Young!Shanks : *with a broken nose* >:( jerk (to Buggy)

: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!

————————

* they're eating dinner*

Reader : Can you pass the salt?

Shanks : *throws Buggy across the table*

— 🛎️ Anon!

Hi!!!!!!

Never thought I’d be getting the honour incorrect quotes for my series from someone else : D

I shall also post some as well

Nami: Every time I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.

Luffy: Okay, but what is updog?

Sanji: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.

Ussop: No, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.

Y/n: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.

Zoro : Surely, that’s Uppsala, where’s updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.

Nami: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.

Ussop: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.

Zoro: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway.

Luffy: What’s a henway??

Nami: Oh, about five pounds

===

*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’*

Y/n and Luffy: Thanks fam!

Ussop: Oh no.

Zoro: Sounds fake, but okay.

Sanji: *A flustered mess*

Nami : Can I get a refund?

===

Ussop: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life.

Zoro: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back...

Y/n: Oh wow, my childhood innocence and My will to live! I haven't seen these in years.

Sanji : I knew I lost that potential somewhere.

Nami: Mental stability, my old friend!

Ussop: Jesus, could you guys lighten up a little?

===

Y/n: *dies*

Luffy: Timer starts now! When are they coming back? I say two months!

Zoro: Bullshit. One month.

Ussop: Nah, half a month.

Sanji , sobbing: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? Y/N JUST DIED!

Nami, scratching chin in thought: One week.

(This one is wayyy to real lol)

===

*after the Squad has been separated for a few years*

Luffy: So what have you been up to recently?

Zoro: Leading a revolution with Sanji.

Luffy: Good for you two! Me, I've joined the mob.

Zorro: *nods* Oh, how cool! That's awesome!

Luffy: I know! Anyway, have you heard from the others? Y/n ?

Zoro: Happily living as a hermit in the woods. Ussop?

Luffy: Wrongfully locked up in an asylum, which reminds me, we need to break them out later. Nami?

Zoro: Cult leader.

Luffy: Yeah, that sounds about right.

#platonic #answers #determination!#🛎️ anon

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disconnected-dragon · 10 months

Text

beyond the spiderverse speculation/unhinged babbling that i hope is true

okay fam just got out of the Across the Spiderverse theater and I have-- a few theories. Well-- more like hopeful speculation that gets more and more outlandish as we go out, so-- please bear with me for a couple paragraphs. Spoilers under the cut.

Okay this is heavily based on assumptions and logic and what I personally noticed from the movie and how I personally think the Spider-Verse runs on, so please bear the hell with me.

I think Miguel’s canon theory is incorrect and that the multiverse has ways of self balancing itself because of Miles’ self correction. He had canon events like the death of Uncle Aaron, IE his Uncle Ben moment. It’s also established that it’s possible for multiverses to exist without canon events/canon events can be tweaked, such as Gwen’s dad quitting, and Mayday existing. It's also implied that if there's a Spider-Vacuum, so to speak, that universe will seek to fill it. Like Miles getting bitten to cover for Peter Parker's death. Ik this theory also works in reverse, like if there's too many Spider-People from one universe, one of them is going to die. But it also assumes the existence of Spider-Vacuum, because of all the Spider-People get bitten at the right time/place. If a universe needs a Spider-Person/will need a Spider-Person, someone's getting bit.

So if it's established that the multiverse can self-regulate itself, then it follows that Earth 42 needs a Spider-Person and that the multiverse/his universe is currently acting to try to fill that Spider-Person vacuum. You can argue that The Prowler is technically this universe's Spider-Person, but if we're going by what seems to be the multiverse's logic AND NOT MIGUEL'S-- that being someone needs to get bit by a radioactive spider and become a "hero" so to speak-- and someone from Earth 42 is gonna have to get bit.

IE-- Prowler Miles.

This is speculation held together by duct tape, spit, and prayers, but I think that due to the timey wimey multiversality, etc etc, kinda bullshit shenanigans of the next movie, Earth 42 Miles is gonna get bit by a radioactive spider, maybe have his canon event of Uncle Aaron dying (big emphasis on maybe there because the death his dad can act as both canon events and its established they can be tweaked), and take up the mantle of Spider-Man. Albeit more of an antihero, and influenced by Uncle Aaron. Because his neighborhood is not friendly and they need a tougher Spider-Man.

Think abt it, if Miles WAS supposed to be Spider-Man in his universe AND in Earth 42, it makes sense that Prowler Miles would eventually get bit, even if it takes more time then usual. He ALSO HAS the canon events of Uncle Ben/the police captain (just consolidated into one person-- hey tweaked canon event!), and there's a Spider-Man vacuum in his home universe. It would also back up the idea that Miguel's idea is wrong, because the universe fixed its "mistake" and solved the "anomaly" by itself. It's proof that the multiverse doesn't need a Spider-Cop for the rest of the Spider-People, and he needs to take a goddamn chill pill and let the Miles Moraleses do their thing.

Hell, maybe these dimensional rifts in the first place are the multiverses' attempts to self-regulate and get a radioactive spider into Earth 42, but Miguel keeps fucking it up and that's why Spot was created. To FORCE Earth 42 Miles into the wider multiverse AND GET HIM BIT whether he wants to be bit or not. This last paragraph is probably not true at ALL-- but i wanted to throw it out there because I don't believe in consistency, like Hobie.

Plus an antihero Spider-Man that's taken some hits/had some bad influences in his life would reinforce the idea that "anyone can wear the mask". Sure, Miles G Morales was the Prowler, and he made some bad choices. His methods are unorthodox even by Spider-Person standards. But he's still Spider-Man, and that mask is his regardless of how it got there. Just like it belongs to OG Miles as well. So c'mon people, let's do this one last time--

TL;DR: Prowler Miles is a late bloomer Spider-Man and is gonna totally own Miguel with multiversal facts and logic.

#across the spiderverse #beyond the spiderverse #beyond the spiderverse theories #beyond the spiderverse speculation #astv #miles morales #miles g morales #earth 42 #prowler miles #miguel o hara #fine ill tag him even though its not really his jam #the more i think abt this the more i think its not true #but yknow what im committing lets rock n roll baby #i just want good things for miles #in all iterations #is that so fucking wrong??????#also im trying to analyze the way an entire multiverse functions based on one movie's shown logic cut me some slackkkkkkk #this doesn't answer the question as to why miguel's universe collapsed but idk #maybe the multiverse doesnt like transplants #maybe it had a self-regulatory path laid out but miguels presence disrupted it #maybe THAT WAS ONE OF MIGUELS CANON EVENTS #MAYBE IM DELUSIONAL AND WANT TO SEE PROWLER MILES AS SPIDERMAN #WE WILL NEVER KNOW THE ANSWER #ANYWAY IM OFF TO MAKE A SPIDERSONA #HOPEFULLY ITS NOT TOTAL SHIT #ENJOY MY UNHINGED SCRIBBLINGS

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starry-skies-116 · 10 months

Text

Transformers Reboot Incorrect Quotes (but it's chaos™):

Samuel: Everytime I hear someone talking about updog, I'm torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.

Bumblebee, via his speakers: Okay, but what is updog?

Heidi: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.

Mikaela: Not, that's a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.

Katya: No, that's an update. You're thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.

Jesse: Surely, that's Uppsala, where's updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.

Samuel: That's Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.

Mikaela: You're thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.

Heidi: No, that's an updraft.An updog is the modern version of a henway.

Bumblebee, also via his speakers: What's a henway??

Samuel: Oh, about five pounds.

______________________________________________________________

Samuel: On a scale from ‘damn Daniel’ to ‘fre-sha-vaca-do’, how would you say you are feeling right now?

Mikaela: Ooh, that’s a tough one. I’d say I’m feeling in between ‘it’s an avocado, thanks’ and ‘how do you defeat Captain America’. Oh, but as a solid answer, I would say ‘I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger’. How about you, Heidi?

Heidi: Oh, me? Uhh… probably ‘road work ahead’. Bumblebee, communicating via text to Samuel’s phone: I speak many human languages, and this is none of them.

______________________________________________________________

Jesse, setting down a card: Ace of spades.

Mikaela, pulling out an Uno Card: Plus four.

Heidi, pulling out a Pokemon Card: Jolteon, I choose you!

Samuel, pulling out a Yu-Gi-Oh Card: Blue eyes, white dragon!

Bumblebee, utterly perplexed, sending a text message to Samuel’s phone once more: Guys, what are we even playing anymore…? Katya, nonchalantly: Go-Fish.

______________________________________________________________

Samuel: My girlfriend’s too tall for me to kiss her on the lips… what do I do, guys? Ironhide: Punch her in the stomach. Then when she doubles over in pain, kiss her. Jazz: Tackle her!

Arcee: Grab her clothes and pull her down.

Wheeljack: Kick her in the shins!

Mikaela: Wh- oye, no to all of those! Just ask me to lean down, what is wrong with you people!

______________________________________________________________

Squad’s reactions to being told ‘I love you’:

Bumblebee via his radio: Thanks, fam!

Samuel: *crying and blushing* I love you too~!

Heidi: Sounds fake, but aight.

Mikaela: Oh, I know you do, cariño. After all, who wouldn’t~?

Katya: *An extremely flustered mess*

Jesse: Can I get a refund?

______________________________________________________________

Samuel: Bye Mikaela! Bye Heidi! Bye Katya! Bye Bumblebee! Bye Jesse! Bye Mikaela!

Jesse: You said 'bye Mikaela' twice.

Samuel: Because I love my goddess of a girlfriend.

______________________________________________________________

Samuel: Christmas lights?

Bumblebee, via radio: Check.

Katya: Thermos of hot cocoa?

Bumblebee, via radio: Check.

Mikaela: Santa suits?

Bumblebee, via radio: Check.

Jesse: Shovel?

Bumblebee, via radio: Check.

Heidi: Alibi and bail money?

Bumblebee, frantically beeping and doing a double take: Check - wait, WHAT?!

______________________________________________________________

Samuel: Time for plan G.

Mikaela: Don’t you mean plan B?

Samuel: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.

Heidi: What about plan D?

Samuel: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.

Katya: What about plan E?

Samuel: I’m hoping not to use it. Simmons has to be used as bait in plan E.

Bumblebee, chittering in pleasure and vibrating with excitement: I like plan E.

______________________________________________________________

Samuel: Heyooo~!

Bumblebee, via radio, waving cheerily: Hiii~!

Jesse: Greetings, Humans.

Katya: Three kinds of people.

Mikaela: I want pudding.

Katya: Four kinds of people.

Heidi: WHAT’S UP FUCKERS?!

Katya: Five kinds of people.

______________________________________________________________

Mikaela: We need to distract these guys…

Samuel: Leave it to me!

Samuel: Centaurs have six limbs, and are therefore insects. Discuss.

The Agents: *Immediately begin arguing*

Bumblebee, watching in horror, sending a text to Samuel’s phone: Oh, I don’t like this. I don't like this at all.

______________________________________________________________

Mikaela: Samuel and I don’t use pet names.

Heidi: I see. Hey, what do bees make?

Mikaela: Honey?

Samuel: Yes, love?

Mikaela:

Heidi: Do me a favor and don’t lie about these kinds of things again, heh.

______________________________________________________________

Samuel: Heidi, Mikaela and I were crossing the street, and some car drove by and honked at us.

Optimus: *Sighing* What did Heidi do?

Samuel: They chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...

Heidi, nervously chuckling: Whooo wants a steering wheel~?

______________________________________________________________

Mikaela: Yo, do you think I can fit fifteen marshmallows in my mouth? Samuel: Oh, don’t endanger yourself like that, please.

Bumblebee: You’re a hazard to society.

Heidi: And a coward. Do twenty.

______________________________________________________________

Samuel: Believe it or not, I was quite the nerd in school~! Jesse, rolling his eyes: I am pretty sure that is a surprise to absolutely no one.

Samuel, making a drinking tea gesture with a pinky sticking out: Whoop, there it is!

((Reference from Sanders Sides)) ______________________________________________________________

Ratchet, talking about human culture: I mean, seriously, who would want to live in a cartoon world, as a cartoon? Mikaela: OHHHH, MY GOODNESS~ THAT WOULD BE THE MOST EPIC THING~!!!

Ratchet, deadpan: Oh. Question answered.

((Reference from Sanders Sides))

______________________________________________________________

Heidi: Oh, well. We tried, we failed, let’s go to sleep.

Ironhide: It’s literally 2 PM.

((Reference from Sanders Sides))

______________________________________________________________

Heidi: People tell me I have a rather unique way of lighting up the room~! Arcee, sighing and pinching where the bridge of her nose would be: Human, it’s called ‘arson’ and those ‘people’ are Decepticons, a meager percentage of whom you’ve left as witnesses.

______________________________________________________________

Starscream: It’s a white flag, human, and you might as well start waving it~

Heidi, wild-eyed at the top of their lungs: THE ONLY THING I WILL BE WAVING IS YOUR DECAPITATED HEAD ON A STICK IN FRONT OF YOUR WEEPING COMRADES!

Samuel:

Mikaela:

Bumblebee:

The entirety of both the Autobots and the Decepticons:

Optimus: Good lord…

______________________________________________________________ ((That one episode be like)): Bumblebee: Hey, Prime, what would you say if I came home with, like… let’s say, three humans? Optimus: What’s in your cabin? Bumblebee:

Optimus, more calmly this time: What’s in your cabin, Bumblebee? Bumblebee: …I think you know.

______________________________________________________________ Sam, parking the car outside of a restaurant: Hey- Mikaela, Heidi, can you get us a table? Mikaela and Heidi in unison: Oh, sure thing!

[A few minutes later]

Mikaela and Heidi sprinting out of the restaurant, Mikaela carrying a table and law enforcement tailing close behind: BUMBLEBEE! START THE ENGINES!

______________________________________________________________

Barricade, negotiating with the Autobots: We have Heidi. Give us the boy and they will be returned unharmed. Optimus: Don’t do anything to them!

Barricade: I won’t, as long as you comply with our-

Optimus: No, I’m serious this time. Don’t do anything to them, Heidi!

Heidi, glaring at Barricade with a mischevious smile, already having freed themselves from their restraints: No promises~

______________________________________________________________

Samuel: No, no- c’mon, guys… he regrets his mistakes, so why not hear out whatever information he wants to give to us? Arcee: That… CANNOT be where the bar is!

((Reference from Sanders Sides))

______________________________________________________________

Heidi: Just you and me, big guy- two tickets to surprise city! I call dibs on window seat, by the way~

((Reference from Sanders Sides)) ______________________________________________________________

Mikaela, panicking: Help me, please, I beg of you- I told Samuel I’d cook dinner for all of us tonight but I can’t cook!

Jesse, pouring wine directly into the cereal bag: And, let me get this straight- you thought I, of all people, could help?

______________________________________________________________

Jesse: Everyone, synchronize your watches.

Mikaela: You think I of all people know how to do that? Samuel: But I’m not… wearing a watch right now.

Heidi: Time is a construct created by us mortals to process the chaos of the world easier.

______________________________________________________________

Samuel, trying to ask Mikaela, his longtime best friend since childhood and his next-door neighbor, out: Would you like to stay for dinner? Samuel’s mother, Hualín from the back: WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER!?

((Reference from Mulan 1998))

______________________________________________________________

Starscream: Top ten reasons why the fleshling is coming with me! Number five will surprise you!

Heidi, already lugging out an oversized plasma rifle: Top ten anime deaths. Number one. YOUR SORRY ASS RIGHT NOW.

______________________________________________________________

Jazz, pulling out one of his flashcards on modern 2000’s human slang: D-W-I.

Heidi, with zero hesitation: Driving whilst intoxicated.

Jazz: N-No, ‘Deal with it’! What is wrong with you humans these days…!?

((Reference from Sanders Sides))

______________________________________________________________

Jesse, excited and surprised: Wait, the city’s theatre director’s in this!? Katya: Oh, no, his understudy’s going on tonight.

Jazz: And… who’s his understudy?

Katya, twirling gracefully and smiling: Meee~!

Bulkhead, sighing: Of course.

((Reference from Sanders Sides))

______________________________________________________________ Heidi, smiling: Well, this all went spectacularly according to plan!

Optimus, raising a brow: Surely it didn’t.

((Reference from Sanders Sides))

______________________________________________________________

Bumblebee: What’s a word that’s a mix between ‘mad’ and ‘sad’? Jesse: Disgruntled, desolated, disappointed- Heidi, with a short pause to punctuate: Smad.

______________________________________________________________

Mikaela: Hey, Ratchet? Ratchet: Yes…? Mikaela: Can a human breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on? Ratchet:Ratchet: …Where’s Heidi?

Mikaela: *nervous whistling*

**gurgling and gasping noises being drowned out by the sound of the washing machine heard faintly in the distance**

Ratchet: …Mikaela, where is Heidi?

______________________________________________________________

Zenith (Decepticon Original Character): Are you sure this is the right way? Knockout: Certainly! I’m as sure as I am honest!

Shockwave: In that case, we’re definitely lost.

______________________________________________________________

((How one S1 EP1 moment would pan out))

Bumblebee: I really like this whole ‘good cop bad cop’ thing you have going on!

Mikaela: It’s not really an act, y’know. It’s just that I’m mean and Samuel isn’t.

______________________________________________________________

Samuel, walking into his house: Hello, people who do not live here.

Mikaela: Hey.

Heidi: Wassup?

Jesse: Hello. Katya: Hi. Bumblebee: Hi~!

Samuel, facepalming: I gave you the keys to my place for emergencies only, what the dickens is all of this!? Katya: We were out of ice cream.

Samuel, sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose: You're lucky that you're my friends and I love you. ______________________________________________________________

Jesse: Nothing in life is free.

Katya: Love is free!

Mikaela: Adventure is free.

Samuel: Knowledge is free.

Heidi: Everything is free if you take it without paying.

______________________________________________________________

Samuel: Hey, what does ‘take-out’ mean…?

Katya: Food!

Mikaela: Dating. Jesse: Murder. Heidi: It can mean all three if you’re not a coward.

___________________________________________________________

Heidi: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff.

Katya: I witnessed the dumb stuff.

Jesse: I recorded the dumb stuff.

Mikaela: I joined in on the dumb stuff.

Samuel: I was dragged into joining in on the dumb stuff.

Bumblebee: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!

___________________________________________________________

Heidi: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses!

Mikaela: This knife is actually a magic wand.

Katya: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel.

Jesse: *cocks gun* Magic missile.

Samuel: …I’m calling our group therapist again.

Bumblebee: I don't know if I should be laughing or disappointed in you humans.

___________________________________________________________

Bumblebee: Okay, but imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life.

Samuel: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!

Jesse: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you so much for finding this, I must say!

Mikaela: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!

Katya: My moral code, is that you?

Heidi: Oh my gosh, mental stability, my old friend!

Bumblebee:

Bumblebee: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk that Ratchet left me but do you guys need a hug? ___________________________________________________________

Samuel: Good morning! Jesse: Good morning. Bumblebee: Good morning. Mikaela: Damn, you all sound so depressed, try spicing it up a bit!

Heidi and Katya together, in perfect synchronization: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS!

___________________________________________________________

Samuel: Why don’t we bridge the generation gap by combining old and new slang into one?

Mikaela: Tubular AF!

Heidi: Mood to the max!

Jesse, annoyed: Groovy, I hate it.

Katya, joining in: If she breathes, she’s a square!

___________________________________________________________

Samuel: Uh, guys, Jesse’s not moving. Is he sleeping or dead?

Mikaela: Hopefully dead, I hated their guts.

Heidi: Yeah, so did I.

Jesse: Okay first of all, fuck you guys-

___________________________________________________________

((During that one episode where the three get arrested)):

Jesse, filling out legal paperwork: Okay, so… when you three were born, were you assigned AMAB or AFAB?

Mikaela: Uh, bold of you to assume I’ve been born at all. Samuel: Given just how strange my body and constitution is compared to the average human, I wouldn’t be surprised if I was created in a lab. Heidi: I just straight up spawned, I guess.

((all of them are trans af and share a single braincell lol))

___________________________________________________________

Ratchet, bursting into the room, faceplates snapping into an expression of pure panic with his optics flickering like a strobelight: “Optimus! You need to see this, the situation’s really-” Optimus, cradling Samuel, Mikaela, Heidi, Jesse and Katya all together in his arms: “Shh… the humans are sleeping.” Ratchet, lowering his voice down to a whisper: “Oh. Sorry.” Optimus, also whispering: “It’s alright, Ratchet, worry not. What did you want to tell me?” Ratchet, still whispering calmly: “The Antimatter Engine caught fire during testing.”

___________________________________________________________

Samuel, Heidi and Mikaela sitting down on a bench together:

Jesse, walking by: Why do you children look so sad? Heidi: Sit down with us so we can tell you. *Jesse sits down, only to hear a wet and quiet squelch*

Mikaela: The bench is freshly painted.

___________________________________________________________Heidi: I don’t get when people ask me if I identify as nonbinary. I am nonbinary.

Heidi: If anything, I identify as a threat to my enemies. ___________________________________________________________

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data-expunged-0 · 1 year

Text

Guys I found another incorrect quotes generator

@poprockpanda@squishys-soft-stories@kayla-crazy-stuffs@colossal-red@aquaisbored

Friendly reminder that these quotes are explicitly incorrect, and represent the canon chaos crew. Do not use this as a representation of our personalities and/or a guide on how to interact with us.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ted, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here. Red: Hey. Poppy: Hi. Squishy: Hello. Kayla: Hey! Ted: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only! Aqua: We were out of Doritos.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker Ted: So.Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know. Everyone: Red: …I did.I broke it. Ted: No.No you didn't. Poppy? Poppy: Don't look at me. Look at Squishy. Squishy: What?!I didn't break it. Poppy: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken? Squishy: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken. Poppy: Suspicious. Squishy: No, it's not! Kayla: If it matters, probably not, but Aqua was the last one to use it. Aqua: Liar! I don't even drink that crap! Kayla: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier? Aqua: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles.Everyone knows that, Kayla! Red: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Ted. Ted: No! Who broke it!? Everyone: Kayla: Ted…Poppy's been awfully quiet. Poppy: REALLY?!

Everyone starts arguing* Ted, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. Ted: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Ted: Ted: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Squad reactions to being told "I love you" Ted: Thanks fam! Red: oh no Poppy: * cries * I love you too Squishy: Sounds fake but okay Kayla: * A flustered mess* Aqua: can i get a refund

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ted: Everytime I hear someone talking about updog, I'm torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke. Red: Okay, but what is updog? Poppy: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/ or relish. Squishy: Not, that's a hot dog.An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released. Kayla: No, that's an update. You're thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden. Aqua: Surely, that's Uppsala, where's updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter. Ted: That's Aragog.Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs. Squishy: You're thinking of epsilon.Updog is an upward - moving air current. Poppy: No, that's an updraft.An updog is the modern version of a henway. Red: What's a henway?? Ted: Oh, about five pounds.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ted: Between Poppy, Squishy, Red, and Aqua -- if you had to -- who would you punch? Kayla: No one! They're my friends. I wouldn't punch any of them. Ted: Red? Kayla: Yeah, but I don't know why.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ted: Rules were made to be broken. Kayla: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken. Poppy: Uh, piñatas. Aqua: Glow sticks. Squishy: Karate boards. Red: Spaghetti when you have a small pot. Ted: Rules. Kayla:

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ted: dies Kayla: Timer starts now! When are they coming back? I say two months! Red: Bullshit. One month. Squishy: Nah, half a month. Poppy, sobbing: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? PERSON A JUST DIED! Aqua, scratching chin in thought: One week.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ted: We're kind of missing something guys. Aqua: Cohesion? Squishy: Teamwork? Red: A general sense of what we're doing? Kayla: And Poppy is not here. Aqua: Oh, and that, yeah.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The squad's reaction to being told they're the chosen one Ted: I will not let you down. Aqua: Sounds fun. Squishy: K. Kayla: No, I'm fucking not. Poppy: Do I have to be? Red: Please god, I am so tired.

#chaos crew #chaos crew incorrect quotes

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chloerie · 10 months

Text

(Compilation of my incorrect quotes on ao3 so far.)

Philip Schuyler: How's the sexiest person here~?

Catherine VR Schuyler: I don't know how are they~?

Philip flustered: I-

Gertrude from across the room: I'm doing great thanks!

Toddler Eliza: Hey! Let Mommy and Daddy firt!

~~~~~~~~

Toddler Eliza Holly Ham after Hammi’s death: Momma are you alright? You’re scaring us..

Elizabeth: I’m fine love don’t worry

AJ(Alexander Hamilton JR): Ma no you are not I know you well enough to know you’re not.

Elizabeth: Okay dang you don’t have to call me out like that-

~~~~~~~~

(This one is 20 and 21 respectively year old Pip and Kitty)

Catherine VR Schuyler: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives

Phillip Schuyler: I wake up at 4:30 AM

Catherine VR Schuyler:

Catherine VR Schuyler: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives

Cat VR Schuyler: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated

Philip Schuyler making jazz hands: Killed without hesitation

Cat VR Schuyler: Philip my darling husband-

Gertrude: Pip my darling baby brother-

Philip Schuyler: I’m literally like 3 years younger than you Gert.

Gertrude ignoring that Pip cut her off: We’ve talked about this-

~~~~~~

Angelica sitting next to Cat VR Schuyler: You can’t just set all your problems on fire

Elizabeth holding Alexander’s letters to her: You’d be surprised how many things are flammable dearest Annie

Cat VR Schuyler hugging Elizabeth: Betsy no burning the letters from Alexander. I swear to goodness

~~~~~~

Series of Unfortunate Events!Gertrude: Now now Schuyler orphans-

SOUE!Angelica(AKA Violet): Don’t call us orphans. We may be orphans but we’d prefer you didn’t call us that.

SOUE!Eliza(AKA Klaus but he’s female): Yes exactly

SOUE!Peggy(Sunny but she’s 12): *Hums in agreement*

Fanny Hamilton walking into her and her husband’s house: Hello people who do not live here.

Eliza Holly Ham: Hey.

Alexander Hamilton JR: Hi.

Philip Hamilton: Hello.

Elizabeth Hamilton: Hey!

Fanny Hamilton: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!

Eliza HH: We were out of Doritos

~~~~~~

Gertrude: WHY. Why did you give Phil a KNIFE?!

Cat VR Schuyler: I’m sorry. He said he felt unsafe.

Gertrude: Now I feel unsafe!

Cat VR Schuyler: I’m sorry.

Cat VR Schuyler: ... would you like a knife?

~~~~~~

Cat VR Schuyler: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife?

Angelica: Rude.

Lillybet(AKA Elizabeth I nicknamed her that bc I can): That’s fair.

Philip Schuyler: Not again.

Alexander Hamilton SR: Are you going to want this back?

Cat VR Schuyler: NO-

~~~~~~

SOUE!Angelica: Hey Eliza-

SOUE!Eliza: When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is having a look around the room and saying 'Haven’t decided yet' is typically a good response.

~~~~~~

Store Worker: Would a Mx. Eliza Schuyler please come to the front desk?

SOUE!Eliza, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: points to SOUE!Angelica and SOUE!Peggy

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

SOUE!Angelica and SOUE!Peggy simultaneously: We got lost :(

SOUE!Eliza: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

(Klaus seems like the sibling who has to take care of his older and younger siblings. Yes he’s canonically the middle child)

Cat VR Schuyler: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?

Peggy: Have everyone stand.

Angelica: Bring three more chairs!

Philip Schuyler: The most important ones can sit down.

Elizabeth: Kill three.

~~~~~~

Eliza HH: Everyone synchronize your watches.

Angelica Ham: I don’t know how to do that.

Alexander Hamilton JR: I don’t wear a watch.

Philip Hamilton: Time is a construct.

~~~~~~

*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’*

Gertrude: Thanks fam!

Peggy: Oh no

Angelica: *cries* I love you too

Philip Schuyler: Sounds fake but okay

Cat VR Schuyler: *A flustered mess*

Elizabeth: can I get a refund?

(This is the one generated by the incorrect quotes generator lmao)

#hamilton incorrect quotes #i’m obsessed #Fr my ao3

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autistic-fandom-trash · 11 months

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jongerrymichaelmartimsasha, a ship with so many characters that it probably only exists in my brain: incorrect quotes edition!

Martin, standing at the top of the staircase: What are you guys doing at the bottom of the stairs? Tim: I accidentally fell down. Gerry: MICHAEL PUSHED ME DOWN THE STAIRS BECAUSE I REFUSE TO PAY ITS PART OF OUR RENT! Sasha: Tim bet me fifty bucks that I couldn't reach the bottom of the stairs faster than he did falling down it, so I slid down the banister to get my money. Jon: I don't know how I got here. One moment, I was sleeping in my bed, three floors up, and then suddenly I was waking up here, just in time to get crushed by Sasha. ----- Tim: *Posts an extremely low-quality image to the gourpchat* Gerry: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I'd have $0.15. Tim: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you. Jon: Actually, I did the math, Gerry would have $225, not $0.15. Gerry: Fam, I'm right here... Martin: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :) Tim: Can you buy me an apply juice while you're there? Martin: Sorry, I only have a dollar. Tim: :( Jon: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Gerry would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent. Martin: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice. Jon: You could buy anything you want with &22,500. Sasha: Yeah and he wants soda and apply juice. Jon: Apply juice to what? Michael: Directly to the forehead. Gerry: Great chat everyone. ----- Sasha: What did you get Jon for his birthday? Tim: I got him a cat. Sasha: Really? Me too! Michael: I also got him a cat. Martin: Looks like we had the same idea. Tim: Gerry, please tell me you didn't also get him a cat. Gerry:...I got him a cat. *Later* Jon, crying, surround by cats: This is the best birthday ever! ----- Tim: We have a problem. Jon: Let me guess, you caused it? Gerry: Gimme a sec, I'm not drunk enough to listen to this bullshit yet. Martin: And it's another Tuesday, your point? Sasha: Would killing you solve this problem? Michael: If you mean the fire, that's our solution to last week's problem. ----- Tim: Every time I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke. Jon: Okay, but what is updog? Michael: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish. Sasha: No, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released. Gerry: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden. Martin: Surely, that’s Uppsala, whereas updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter. Tim: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs. Sasha: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current. Michael: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway. Jon: What's a henway? Tim: Oh, about five pounds. ----- Martin: Croissants: dropped. Sasha: Road: works ahead. Tim: BBQ sauce: on my titties. Michael: Shavacado: fre. Gerry: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead. Jon:...I don't understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

#incorrect quotes #tma #jongerrymichaelmartimsasha #im so mad thats not an established tag

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