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#incorrect spider son
oscorp-lawsuit · 1 year
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Headcanon that when Peter accidentally calls Tony dad for the first time, he immediately freaks out over his slip-up (as usual) but Tony is running on like -20 hours of sleep and doesn’t even notice the mistake but he responds to it so suddenly Peter spirals into ANOTHER crisis because does that mean Tony thinks of Peter as his son, or did he just not hear him right? And now he doesn’t know how to bring it up without outing the fact that he wants Mr. Stark to be his dad
Peter: “Hey, dad?”
Peter, internally: Wait, shit shit! Why did I say that? I can’t call Mr. Stark DAD. That’s so creepy-
Tony, dead on his feet and hearing colors: “Yeah, Pete?”
Peter:
Peter, tearing up: “Um-”
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stxar-pvnk · 26 days
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Steve: Tony!! Tonnny!!!
Peter: what are you doing?
Steve: I can't find tony
Peter: oh I can, watch this
Peter proceeds to put on a deep voice
Peter: I HATE PETER PARKER
Tony popping out from thin air
Tony: WHO THE HELL SAID THAT ABOUT MY CREEPY CRAWLY KID.
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lesbian-deadpool · 1 year
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Carol: What's Peter to you?
Natasha and Y/N: The reason we wake up every morning.
Wanda: That's adorable!
Peter, their son, earlier that morning, banging pots together: WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!
(Bonus)
Peter, still banging pots together: I DEMAND ATTENTION!
Y/N: THERE'S NO WAY WE CAN GIVE YOU ANYTHING ELSE, RIGHT NOW!
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marvel-lous-guy · 11 months
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Peter: Hey, Mr Stark?
Tony: yeah
Peter: If I was dying and needed one of your kidneys, would you give it to me?
Tony: In a heart-beat
Peter: okay, awesome!
Tony: ...you don't need a kidney do you?
Peter: No
Tony: Where's this coming from then?
Peter: ...can I pick the lab music-
Tony: absolutely fucking not.
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Jesper: My husband doesn’t want to instil his fear of spiders on our son so he, very calmly, reports them to me like some kinda mob boss. “Jes, theres a situation near the sink. I need you to take care of it. Immediately. No loose ends. I want proof when the job is done”
Jesper: I have tried to tell him spiders are important for the ecosystem he likes so much, but he’s certain that theres ‘no space for an ecosystem in the kitchen’
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wingitbold · 2 months
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A Random Rainy Night:
Peter: *Enters completely drenched & shivering*
Tony: Underoos!! *starts screaming & pampering him*
*While making cold chocolate to warm up his little spiderling*
Tony: Why didn't you swing in your suit? It would have saved you from resembling a kicked & drenched puppy.
Peter: *pouts* I am not a puppy
Peter: Also, it’s a million dollar worth suit, Mr. Stark. Couldn't get it wet
Tony: astonished, slackjawed, flabbergasted
Tony: Is my age catching upto me or did you actually took a nose dive into a freaking lake with that suit?
Peter: oh! It was waterproof?!
Tony: Flabbergasted Stark
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Tony: Peter is taking some antibiotics and one of the possible side effects is 'hyperactivity'.
Tony: Please pray for me during this difficult time.
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maryo274 · 4 months
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Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Yep, just another day at the lab 😅.
Back with some MCU content. As soon as I'm up to date with the movies, I'll post more. Still missing The Marvels and Quantumania.😅
Marvel, Sony ©
Art by Maryo274 ©
If you like my art support with a reblog, it is appreciated. And you’re always welcome to comment too.
I miss these two 🥲
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not-me-underc0ver · 1 year
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Tony and Peter walking.
Tony: OH MY GOD
Peter panicked: What?!
Tony pointing at something: THERE HE IS! THAT'S THE FUCKIN GUY
Peter: ?
Tony still pointing: That's the fucking guy behind all my problems!
Peter: Tony, you're pointing at your reflection.
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batnardomcfly · 7 months
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*Tony stark getting a phone call at 3am*
Peter: mister stark you remember when you told me not to do something stupid
Tony sighing: yeah
Peter: I did something stupid
Tony halfway in the Iron Man suit: of course you did pete, of course you did
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oscorp-lawsuit · 1 year
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Pepper: Tony, why do you keep ignoring lab safety protocol when it always ends in some sort of explosion or OSHA violation?
Tony: Well, Pep, some of the greatest scientific discoveries were made by ignoring lab safety protocol. Besides, Tony backwards spells “Y Not” so it’s really in my namesake.
Pepper:
Pepper: Did Peter give you that one?
Tony: Yes, he did.
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stxar-pvnk · 25 days
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Peter: Mr stark. Are you... adopting something?
Tony sweating nervously: nO!-
Peter: oh good I'm allergic to cats!
Tony shakily putting the adoption papers for him away in the new ironspider suit for later
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lesbian-deadpool · 1 year
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Peter, holding a candle: Test smell.
Natasha: Smell test.
Y/N: Now for the taste test.
Natasha: What?
Y/N, after taking a bite out of the candle: Yup! Sure tastes.
Natasha: 
Natasha, to herself: This is my child, and who I chose to marry… what the fuck is wrong with me?
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marvel-lous-guy · 2 years
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Peter: If there was a zombie apocalypse... couldn't you bite the zombie and it would turn back into a human?
Tony: ...what?
Peter: well,  if a zombie bites you, you turn into a zombie... so would a zombie turn into a human if a human bit it?
Tony: No, I didn't mean "what" as in elaborate. I meant it as in "how the fuck does your brain come up with this shit"
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Once upon a Tower hangout...
Happy: You were afraid before. That's why you were reckless. Always making suits and going on life threatening missions. But life's different now, huh? I gotta say. Being a stay at home dad suits you, boss.
Tony: (glares at the teasing)
Rhodey (chuckles and clicks his beer cup with his friend's mug): Just admit it, Tones. The kid made you soft.
Tony (scoffs and takes a sip of his tea. Yup, he drinks tea now, courtesy of Peter's starter pack for taking care of overworked genius mentors): Still not a dad.
Rhodey (laughs louder): Don't kid yourself. Pepper called me last Wednesday to stress when you skipped an SI meeting because you had that thing with the Dadvengers Club. What did you guys even do? I thought Clint was grounded by Laura?
Tony: Ugh, don't remind me. Now, I couldn't even kill an ant. Scott is to blame. And apparently, Clint cleaned up their whole yard with no help from the kids so Laura let him off.
Happy (draws an amused smirk): Is that what fatherhood does? Just eating healthy and attending PTAs?
Friday: Boss, sorry to interrupt. But Karen activated Spider-No-Swiping Protocol.
Tony (groans): Pete tried to override my protocols again? What's the excuse this time?
Friday: Karen reports that Spider-Man is currently hanging on a web attached to a wizard's cape. His locations show the North Pole and Karen expresses concern on his lowering temperature.
Tony (exchanges a look with his friends): Of course he is. Well, at least kid kept his promise. It's on Earth.
Happy (shakes his head, amused as he stands to dust his hands): I'll get the jet ready.
Rhodey (stands too): I'll order takeout to bring. Kid likes triple chocolate lava drink with Stik-O, right?
Tony (nods gratefully): Friday, ring Strange. Tell him spiders don't thermogulate so if he's going to babysit, he better keep my kid warm or else. And call my kid. He better answer at first ring or Spider-Man's grounded for a month.
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anyaharveyii · 2 months
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Peter: Mr. Stark, how do I come out to the other Avengers? Tony: Observe. [walks over to Natasha] Hey, Nat? Natasha: [slightly wary] Yes? Tony: I put the bi in bitch. Natasha: ... congratulations? Tony: Thank you. [walks back over] The key is to be memorable and unapologetic. Your turn, kid. Peter: OK. [walks over to Steve] Excuse me, Mr. Rogers? Steve: Yes, Peter? Peter: ... Peter: I put the aye in gaye. Tony: [facepalms]
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