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ryemiffie · 19 days

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Joke I made with my brother about the characters from a book I got to read early(literally so good lol) as batfam incorrect quotes:

Stephanie: Dad, dad, dad, dad!

Batman: What?

Stephanie: Okay, you give me, absolute access to the weapons vault, in return, I give you, peace and quiet for two whole hours.

Batman: Ugh fine, deal.

Stephanie, actively running away: Great, no take-backsies! I'll be back in exactly two hours, per our agreement, to bother you about something else!

Batman, now alone: damn, should of haggled.

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cardinalcheerio · 12 days

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Steph: I'm a girls girl, but I'm not a peoples people

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incorrect-waynemanor · 1 year

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bruce: you should have known better! i expect more from each of you

steph:

tim:

cass:

jason: you’ve known us for years and you haven’t lowered your expectations yet? that’s on YOU

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incorrect-dc-qoutes · 16 days

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Steph: There’s no “I” in team, but there is one in pizza. Tim: So, you’re not going to share? Steph: I’m not going to share.

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jasonsthunderthighs · 11 months

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Dick: Mother didn't raise no whore.

Stephanie: Smash or pass? *Points at Jason*

Jason: *Looks over, smirkin*

Dick: Mother did raise a whore. Smash.

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batshitferalquotes · 2 years

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Steph: How dare you run a check on me?! How would you feel if I interfered in YOUR personal life?

Tim: I'd hate it and that's why I CLEVERLY, have no personal life.

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vodrae · 5 months

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Rich pregnant socialite: So we went to this clinic and let them manipulate our genes so we're 100% sure our child won't have any disease, he will have my hair and his father eyes and so much things we did for him! And you Bruce ?

Brucie: Found em in the trash. Except Tim, he found me in the trash.

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lustwithoutlore · 2 months

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After a mission…

Dick: I can’t wait to go home, have a bowl of cereal, and go to sleep.

Duke: Lucky, I have patrol in like, two hours. No sleep for me. What’re you going to do when you get home, Jason?

Dick: Wait! Let me guess. Crack open a beer, order in Chinese food, and fall asleep on the couch watching a gritty action movie.

Jason, fully planning on having a lavender scented bubble bath while drinking vanilla earl grey tea and watching Pride and Prejudice: … Something like that.

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goodoldfashionedengineer · 1 month

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The only time when all the batkids will work together in perfect harmony is to prank Bruce.

And for the best prank all they needed was a few label makers.

Labels are put on everything.

On every mug, on every plate, on every bandaid package.

The chocolate bars are labeled "BatSnack".

The fruits become "Batana", "Batricot" and "Batermelon".

Every button on the microwave, every key on the keyboard, it all gets a label.

"Batstop button", "Batstart button", "Bat-A-key", Bat-Enter-key".

Bruce's desk isn't simply the "Batdesk". It is the "Batwood construction surface".

There is a label beneath the desk too.

Originally named "underside of Batwood construction surface".

It takes days, weeks, months to remove all the labels.

Until one day, when Bruce makes a few new installations in the cave.

Surely some higher being is laughing at him right now, Bruce thinks, as he pulls of the last one.

"Batceiling"

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galaxymagitech · 2 months

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Jason: Hey, Alfie! Which of us was the least crazy as a kid?

Bruce: Let’s face it. None of us were easy children. I dropped out of college and then dropped off the grid. Dick was a menace—

Jason: Nah, Dick’s the Golden Boy.

Bruce: He wanted to single-handedly hunt down a powerful criminal and thought the entire manor was a trapeze.

Dick: Well, Jason was like the perfect kid.

Bruce: He ran away, died, and started murdering people.

Jason: Fair. But the Replacement’s your perfect little soldier, isn’t he?

Bruce: He stalked me, he says incredibly concerning things with no idea how concerning he sounds, he started YOUNG JUSTICE, I—

Damian: Batgirl III is boring. Surely she was easy to deal with?

Bruce: Are you kidding me? She got pregnant and started a gang war!

Steph: Guilty as charged. But Duke’s the normal one, so—

Bruce: You started a gang war? Duke started a gang!

Damian: I’m the perfect heir.

Bruce: You’re an assassin who is currently attempting to turn my house into a zoo. And you keep trying to murder Tim.

Jason: Eh, we’ve all been there. Except Cass. Cass hasn’t tried to murder anyone.

Bruce: Cass tried to fight Lady Shiva to the death, despite refusing to kill. Cass is not well-adjusted either.

Cass: Barbara is good.

Bruce: No, she keeps hacking the Batcomputer. And she’s dating my son. Honestly I have no idea how I’m still sane.

Alfred: I’m afraid your sanity is very much in question, Master Bruce.

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strange-birb · 6 months

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Based on og bost by @thethirdtriplet

Order left to right pic 1 lolz

Damian, cass, dick, duke, Tim, Steph :)

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cardinalcheerio · 4 months

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Bruce: Draw the blinds.

Steph: I'm not a great artist but ok

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incorrect-waynemanor · 1 year

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dick: i don’t like your accusatory tone

steph: well, i’d use a different tone, but i’m actually trying to accuse you of something

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incorrect-dc-qoutes · 18 days

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Jason: You guys worried about Dick? Steph: Totally! Tim: Yeah, they called me in the middle of the night and just yelled, "what do I do, what do I do, what do I do, what do I do?" Jason: And what'd you say? Tim: "I dunno, I dunno, I dunno, I dunno." Steph: Jason: They're lucky to have you as a friend.

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jasonsthunderthighs · 11 months

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Stephanie: *On a video chat with Dick* He's not the love of your life! He's just a man!

Jason: Hit him with your car!

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incorrectbatfam · 11 days

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Bruce: *sees Gotham in chaos on his day off*

Bruce: Not my circus, not my monkeys. Not my circus, not my monkeys. Not my—

Bruce: *realizes it's his kids causing chaos*

Bruce: My circus my monkeys! My circus my monkeys!

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