Tumgik
#incorrect steve rogers
Text
Tumblr media
Y/N: What’s it like being tall?
Y/N: Is it nice?
Y/N: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?
Bucky: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want.
Steve: It was one time!
5K notes · View notes
ironrad · 1 year
Text
Clint who just learned a new game from his kids:
Clint: Alright guys we’re all going to pass the phone around and say who we’d warn someone about before coming to the Avengers compound
Clint: I’ll start. Personally, I would warn people about Tony because I never know what he’s up to in that lab…
Nat: What are we doing? Oh ok, I’d warn people about Peter. He acts innocent, but I see right through it…
Tony: You want my honest answer? Steve. Next question-
Steve: Um maybe all of us because we have powers and can be dangerous when crossed.
Steve: That wasn’t the question? Ok, fine, I’d warn them about Queens. He scares me sometimes…
Bucky whispering: …Peter.
Sam: Why did you whisper that?
Bucky: He’s always listening.
Sam: Yikes, anyways, I’m gonna go with Bucky.
Bucky: Hey-
Bruce: Hi! I’m Bruce Banner, and I think I would warn people about Peter and Tony. Alone they’re both trouble, and together they’re a train wreck, but the good kind. Hang on-
Peter: Oh EZ, I’ve seen this on Tik Tok. Mr. Stark, no questions asked. That guy is everywhere all the time. I can’t get shit-
Steve: Language.
Peter: Sorry! I can’t get anything over on him.
Happy: Peter and Tony.
Thor: Ah, yes, hello. I would warn them of ME.
Thor spinning his hammer and chugging a keg:
Stephen: Tony. I try to avoid him at all costs.
Pepper: Awe thank you for including me. I’d warn them of my husband and his teenager…sometimes I need an extra warning.
The Avengers watching back the footage:
Tony: I’ve done nothing but be a pleasant member of this team.
Peter: Yeah, sounds about right.
1K notes · View notes
marvelnatasha · 10 months
Text
Steve: Are you mad?
Bucky: No.
Steve: So sharpening your knives at 3 in the morning is just a hobby?
561 notes · View notes
firegal19 · 1 year
Text
Peter: Y/n got into a fight at school.
Steve: Is she ok?
Bucky: Did she win?
1K notes · View notes
marvel-lous-guy · 6 months
Text
Bucky: what happened to you?
Steve: There was this asshole in an alleyway and I tried to fight him so I said "life is short! Smile while you still have teeth"
Bucky: why
Steve: I thought it was a cool line
Bucky: That would be a good line if you could actually knock anyones teeth out
Steve: *smiles to show a missing tooth and a chipped tooth* i did break some teeth, actually
Bucky: you just need to work on your aim
327 notes · View notes
Y/N: "I love older men, there is just something about them"
Wanda: "I bet it's their intelligence"
Carol: "No their more mature I bet"
Natasha with a smirk: "They've had a lot of time to " master" things"
Wanda looks at Y/N
Carol looks at Y/N
Y/N smirking while looking at Steve and Bucky "Oh they've mastered plenty"
Tony: "Yep calling my therapist"
Sam: "Yeah I don't need to know this"
Steve to Bucky: "Is she talking about us? And does she mean fondue?"
Bucky grinning while looking at Y/N: "How about we master something else doll?"
Tumblr media
209 notes · View notes
marvelflame2010 · 1 year
Text
Tony: Hey wait a minute. Y/n and Bucky’s not here. 
Sam: What you do mean by Y/n and Bucky’s not here?
Tony: I MEAN Y/N AND THE FUCKING WINTER SOLDIER ISN’T HERE, GENERAL BIRD-BRAIN!!! 
Yelena: Oh my god, I’m using that
Steve: ENOUGH! I’ll call them* calls Y/n’s phone*
Y/n: Hello?
Steve: Y/n, where tf are you and Bucky?? I’m here, Sam’s here, Tony’s here, your aunt’s here-
Peter: *arrives* Sorry I’m late guys. I had chem homework
Steve: Queens just swung in. You two are the only ones not here!
Y/n: What the hell are you talking about, you star-spangled idiot. Bucky and I are at 103 Presley Street, like the address said. Where the tf are you?
Steve: I’m at.... Aw shit. *hangs up* GUYS WE’RE AT THE WRONG LOCATION!!! 
Tony: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN WE’RE THE WRONG LOCATION CAPSICLE?!!!!!!
Steve: I MEAN WE ARE AT THE WRONG LOCATION ANTHONY EDWARD!! 
Sam: ENOUGH!! Let’s go to the correct location
BONUS: 
Bucky: Did Steve give them the wrong location?
Y/n: Yes dekta. Yes he did
Bucky: Why am I friends with him? 
Y/n: You know you have a crazy family when the ex-HYDRA assassins are the only ones who do stuff right the first time
Bucky: You’re absolutely right doll
1K notes · View notes
*Bucky's mask falls off, so it's revealed that it's bucky*
Steve: Shit.
*Steve seeing Bucky with long hair and eye make-up *
Steve: SHIT
238 notes · View notes
skylarinfinity · 4 months
Text
[avengers visiting school around new york]
male reader : [giving speech] -so if you feel dumb, just remember captain america try to choke a robot once.
steve : [shaking his head laughing] yup, i really not proud of that's decision.
Tumblr media
tags lists @sonicqaulan @graysonfriggason @thebettermaximofftwins @sloanalistair @acienthazard @starlinggoldeneyes @ortegaolsen @wednesdaywanda @sandwichmarvel @gardenofmarvel @wanda-cabin-natasha-jacket @panandinpain0 @badblondebisexualboy
151 notes · View notes
incorrectmarvels · 5 months
Text
Steve: Are you going to help or are you too pretty?
Tony: I’m too pretty.
293 notes · View notes
incorrectanything · 2 years
Text
Sam: Why are Bucky and Y/N sitting with their backs to each other?
Steve: They had a fight.
Sam: Then why are they holding hands?
Steve: They get sad when they fight.
2K notes · View notes
floilee · 2 months
Text
(Meanwhile at the Avengers complex)
Kate: Cap, I can talk to you.
Steve: Sure, what is it?
Kate: Yelena told me to talk, otherwise she'd be very rude.
Steve: There's nothing I can't handle.
Kate: Well, about the kettle in the kitchen... Did you burn it?
Steve: I... I can't explain it.
Yelena in the doorway frame: It was a Rogers electric kettle, it shouldn't have been put on the fire.
73 notes · View notes
ironrad · 1 year
Text
Peter: Sometimes I wonder where people go after they die.
The whole team groaning:
Clint: Jesus Christ, it is 3am.
Steve: You’re about to find out if you don’t go to sleep, son.
Tony: Don’t talk to my kid like that, Rogers, let me handle it.
Tony: Pete, you’re about to find out if y—
781 notes · View notes
azerishi · 2 years
Text
Steve: Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
Peter, nodding sagely: So, that way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
Tony, tearing up: That's my boy.
2K notes · View notes
firegal19 · 1 year
Text
Avengers group chat
Steve: Ok team. Who put the dirty plate in the sink?
Tony: Wasn’t me
Y/n: We know that. We haven’t seen you eat or drink anything since a week ago
Tony: Steve, Y/n’s being mean
Steve: Y/n
Y/n: I’m not apologizing. I didn’t put the plate in the sink
Pietro: Sorry Cap. It was me.
Steve: Thanks for owning up Pietro. Please don’t do it again
Pietro: Got it
Peter: Guys, sorry I’m late but look at the TikTok I just saw!
Peter: *sends an LGBTQIA+ TikTok*
Tony: Underroos, this group chat isn’t for TikToks. Unless it has something to do with a mission, don’t post it here. Got it?
Peter: Yes Mister Stark 😢
Bucky: Don’t worry kid. Y/n, Kate, Yelena, and I have a group chat dedicated to LGBTQIA+ TikToks
Kate: Yeah! I’ll invite you now!
Y/n: Us LGBTQIA+ have to stick together
Peter: Aw, thanks guys 🥺
Pietro: Aw, I want an invite
Y/n: This is for the aces, bis, gays, etc. So back off
Yelena: Yes do that Speedy, or I’ll cut off your legs
Pietro: You guys are mean
Steve: Ok, meeting done
397 notes · View notes
marvel-lous-guy · 1 year
Text
Steve: Why are you eating tofu?
Bucky: I'm trying to convince Sam I'm a vegan
Steve: Why?
Bucky: I've been stealing his chicken from the fridge and if I'm vegan, he can't accuse me of stealing it
Steve: Why not just buy your own chicken, Buck?
Bucky: this is much more fun, watch
Sam: Okay! I have had enough! WHO THE HELL! IS EATING MY GOD DAMN CHICKEN!?
664 notes · View notes