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#incorrect steve rogers
westannatasharomanoff · an hour ago
Natasha: 'Sup heteros?
Tony: *spitting out his water, extremely offended* Bitch what the FUCK did you just call me?
Steve: Language! Although, seriously, what was that about?
Bruce: Literally none of us are straight. 
Thor: You can say that again.
Clint: That again. 
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slavicshadownr · 2 hours ago
Natasha: I miss Barton.
Steve: You still have me.
Natasha: It’s not the same. I can talk to Barton about things I can’t talk to you about.
Steve: Like what?
Natasha: Annoying things you do.
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shyhottubbasement · 3 hours ago
y/n : Croissants: dropped
nat: Road: works ahead
tony: BBQ sauce: on my titties
wanda: Shavacado: frea
wade : Miss Keisha: fuckin dead
steve, grumpy: I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.
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anywhere-but-here-plz · 5 hours ago
Vision: ...... and when I go near her my heart pounds and I get really nervous
Steve: Aw you’re in love with her! Good for you! That’s so sweet
Wanda: Yeah like my heart goes really fast and my palms get sweaty whenever he’s around?
Natasha: Yikes, I’d avoid him if I were you. That sounds like an allergic reaction to me. Do you have a vibranium allergy?
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broadwayfan92 · 5 hours ago
Inspired by @incorrecttonks
(Steve and Clint return after a mission)
Steve: Well, we lost Nat.
Clint: You forget to cherish her.
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unknown-salvatore · 7 hours ago
Steve: Natasha, where are you going?
Natasha: To seek the company of the only one around here who's got any sense.
Steve: And who's that?
Natasha: Myself, Steve.
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unknown-salvatore · 7 hours ago
Sam: Welcome to the 'Fuck Bucky' support group, where we gather to say a collective 'fuck you' to that stupid asshole. But first, a few words from our newest member!
Steve, gathering his stuff to leave: I think I may have misunderstood the purpose of the group, sorry
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spiderman-meadows · 13 hours ago
Tony: it’s 3am can you be any louder?
Peter: *shrieks*
Tony: *shrieks louder to establish dominance*
Steve: guys please
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stuckonylove · 13 hours ago
Imagine Steve and Tony having a discussion before bed
Steve: Tony I'm worried about Peter.
Steve: Ever since quarantine started and the school closed and the significant decline in crime, he's been behaving more and more erratically.
Tony: I think I know what you're getting at. Just look at this perpetual motion machine he built for me! *gestures to machine on his lap* It just keeps going faster and faster!
Steve: *Looks out the window* Yeah and right now he's flying a kite outside in the dark...
Steve: *opens window to shout* Peter come inside, your father and I want to talk to you!
Peter: *spidy climbs the house wall up to the window so he can keep flying the kite*
Peter: Yeah, pops? What is it?
Steve: Peter we-
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Steve:...Tony, are you gonna join us for this meeting or not?
Tony: I’d love to, Capsicle. But I have a date. You kids have fun and I’ll catch up later!
(Tony leaves)
Steve:...OK, fine. (to the other Avengers) So what we know about the facility is that they have an invisible laser grid across the entire outer property that is easily set off by movement. They also have concrete walls that are fifty feet high and thirty inches thick. And machine guns at several security posts to shoot at incoming air targets and land targets.
Natasha: I didn’t train to be a ballerina and a spy at the same time so I WOULDN’T ever have to get through a laser security grid, Steve. Piece of cake.
Thor: Banner and I will have a grand time smashing through those walls!
Sam: Yeah, and Pepper and I can fly overhead with Tony and keep the gunners busy while you guys get to the facility on foot.
Steve: Sounds good. Bucky, what do you think?
Bucky:...Did Tony just say he has a date?
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poessunflower · 19 hours ago
i just had a PHENOMENAL idea for an avengers oc fic
a psychologist discovers/obtains/is born with superpowers and joins the team and it’s just like:
nat: you’re a psychologist right?
oc: yeah...
clint: like a TRAINED psychologist??
oc: yes???
steve: thank god you’re here
bruce: i can finally rest...
oc: what are y’all talking about??
nat: we need your help. professional help.
oc: what—
tony: *walks in wearing sunglasses and iron man themed pajamas* hey bitches guess who just bought netflix because they took night at the museum off??
oc: oh
oc: oh i see
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Bucky: [Watches someone get stuck in a revolving door]
Bucky: Ha, what an idiot
Sam: Isn’t that Steve?
Bucky, terrified: Oh, God, it’s Steve
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incorrectsteggyquotes · 21 hours ago
Steve: You always see worst in people.
Peggy: Because people are the worst.
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aviirut · 23 hours ago
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aquamarinescarlet · a day ago
Tony: Is that a hickey?
Wanda: No… I got bitten by a snake.
Steve: That’s a really big bite for a snake.
Wanda: Well, it was a really big snake!
[Y/n enters the room]
Natasha: Hello snake.
Y/n, to Wanda: You can’t lie better than that?
Wanda: Shut up!
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lesbian-deadpool · a day ago
Steve: You know what they say: shoot for the moon, and if you miss, at least you'll land among the stars.
Tony: Or suffocate in space, I suppose.
168 notes · View notes