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#incorrect stucky

Steve: If a villain got you, I’d hunt them down to the ends of the earth so they could face justice.

Bucky: If you asked, I would kill every person in this room without a second thought.

Shield appointed therapist: You guys know that normal couples don’t say these things to each other, right?

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Steve: What have you gathered on the case?

Bucky: Well, here’s a list of all the suspects I’ve obtained.

Steve: Buck, your name is on this list.

Bucky: I can’t remember where or who I was last Saturday, and so I have no alibi. I’ve been trailing myself for days.

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Bucky: Wait for it, wait for it… 9:01. Steve is officially late for the first time ever. Alright, let’s do this. Who’s got theories?

Vision: His alarm did not go off.

Bucky: All three alarms, all with battery backups? Come on, who wants to take this seriously?

Peter: Oh! He was talking in his sleep!

Bucky: That’s what I’m talking about! Super dark, Peter, but way more plausible than Vision’s idiotic alarm clock theory.

Tony: I bet he tucked himself in his bed too tight and got stuck.

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Bucky: I can’t believe all these people dressed in black. All-black was my thing, and now everyone’s doing it to be “cool”. They’re all posers.

Steve: Bucky, I cannot stress this enough. We are at a funeral.

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Bucky *seductively*: want to see something I got today?

Steve *visibly panting and blushing*: uhh, yes, of course.

Bucky *gets up and comes back in a robe*:

Bucky *lets robe drop to the floor*:

Bucky *climbing into Steve’s lap*: whaddya think, tough guy?

Steve *having a melt-down*: wh- hh? Wha-what? What’s- how-?

Bucky *leaning back and preening*: its a g-string

Steve: a g-string?

Bucky *now whispering in his ear*: yeah, it is, know what that means?

Steve *still dumbfounded*: n-no?

Bucky *deadpan, leaning back and cupping Steve’s cheeks*: it stands for groin string.

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