Tumblr: It’s “Out of Touch-
Me: *punches Tumblr* No. It’s-
“THE TOUCH” THURSDAY!
Felix: *points at Yuri, lounging in a corner and drinking wine* I’m not sexy enough to be a vampire, *points at Raphael, lifting weights* not jacked enough to be a werewolf, *points at Byleth, looming in the corner* not unsettling enough to be a sleep paralysis demon, *points at Dimitri, crouched in front of the fridge and shoveling shredded cheese into his mouth* and not shitty enough to be a goblin.
Felix: *gives a great sigh*
Felix: Gnome it fucking is then I guess.
Sora: Just this once, everybody lives!
Sora teaches Cloud how to be happy: Part 1
Sora: Hey Cloud, old buddy, old pal!!
Cloud: We're not friends, I hate you, go away.
Sora: Aww, come on! What did I ever do to you?
Cloud: I hate your cheery ass attitude, how you beat me through the power of "friendship". Life isn't a game, Sora. It sucks.
Sora: Well, do you wanna be like that guy? All moody and no friends?
(Sora points to Sephiroth being moody and drinking a coffee, whilst stabbing Dr Mario)
Sephiroth: Man, life sucks... Even murder bores me these days...
Cloud: I take it back. I TAKE IT BACK!!! How do I be happy like you?!!!
Sora: Oh, that's easy... Buddy, old pal.
If I may once again dip my toe into the discourse surrounding Greek Mythology, a lot of people like to rewrite or reframe the story of Medusa, and that’s great! Highly encourage it. But, DON’T YOU DARE GO AND DEMONIZE MY BOY PERSEUS!
Perseus isn’t some vile misogynist who hunts down and murders Medusa for the hell of it. He’s a scared kid who’s trying to save his mom from a forced marriage (whom herself has been a victim of terrible abuse from her father) to a creepy evil king and gets duped by the Gods into cleaning up their mess for them. He’s not the villain, he’s just another pawn. So if I see one more motherfucker trying to make him out to be the “real monster” I will throw hands.
You know what would be way more interesting?! Medusa sees Perseus rolling up to her crib and freaks out cause ‘holy shit this is a fucking kid. a fucking toddler with a sword and shield.’ and they hash it out and then TEAM UP to kill the evil kind trying to force marry Perseus’ mother! Think of the dynamics that you could write! The interactions that could occur. I mean, one of ‘em is gonna have to wear a blindfold but hey, minor problems.
What I’m saying is, gimme a buddy cop movie where Perseus and Medusa team up to fight evil in Ancient Greece.
Vi and Jinx in League of Legends:
Vi and Jinx in Arcane:
You know what kind of “Post-Superhero” content I wanna see?
I wanna see a show or comic or whatever where the main character is a young, jaded, and cynical kid who gets superpowers. And he knows that it’s all a big sham. That these “superheroes” are actually a bunch of assholes who cause more problems than they solve. That they’re corporate shills and sociopaths who parade themselves around in spandex like its some kind of fetish. Especially that Superman knockoff. He knows the truth. He goes into the superhero community knowing that. That he knows how it works. That he’s better than these Silver Age wannabees.
Except... he’s wrong.
When he actually gets to know these heroes, really interacts with them, his misconceptions start crumbling down. Yeah they aren’t perfect, they’re people, no shit, but they really are what they claim to be. They really do fight for all that ham and cheese. They care, sometimes too much.
Turns out this worlds superheroes really are heroes, or at least try their hardest to be. They fuck-up, sure, but they aren’t malicious. They try. And more than that, they believe.
And that Superman knockoff? Is he actually an alien infiltrator and conqueror like Omniman? Is he a corporate sponsored sociopath like Homelander? Is he secretly some sort of monster?
No. He really is that goody two-shoes heroic nerd he looks like. He believes in people. He loves people, and he never gives up trying to make the world a better place.
And this kid, this edgy loser, feels every second of it. He thought he understood. He thought he had it all figured out. He thought cynicism was wisdom, and contempt was power. But he was wrong. And to make it worse, they forgive him. These heroes he scorned. They get it, that it’s hard to believe in heroes nowadays. And yeah, the world sure as shit ain’t black and white, but it never hurts to try and make things better.
They don’t cast the kid out. They don’t bash on him, they don’t scorn his arrogance and fear.
No. They do what heroes do. They help him. They teach him. They inspire him.
They teach him to believe that a Man can Fly.
The only solution to the sexy villain problem, where media consumers become obsessed with hot villains and refuse to acknowledge their evil actions and demand redemption arcs, is to make an equally sexy hero and introduce them first.
Look at Fullmetal Alchemist. You don’t see people thirsting like hell over King Bradley because they’ve already seen Roy Mustang sear a side-splitting wound shut and carve an alchemy symbol into his hand and then roast an unkillable bitch-monster to save the love of his life.
Saw a post on tumblr talking about the sexy villain problem and it made me think of Fullmetal.
Sora: Hey, Cloud!
Cloud: Hey, Sora.
Sora: Still haven't gotten that restraining order yet?
*One-Winged Angel plays in the distance*
Cloud: ... Nope.
A thought I had
Rewatching the Teen Titans cartoon is exponentially funnier when you watch it through the lens of knowing that Robin has literally just separated from Batman and is being all #serious and #edgy because he desperately wants to prove he doesn’t need Batman without realizing he’s behaving exactly the way Batman does about everything.
Like, he’s literally a little tryhard Batman who wants to prove he doesn’t need Batman. He’s a kid who ran away from home but instead of the intended consequences, running back home when he realizes “crime fighting solo is hard”, his Batman-ingrained dad instincts kick in and he ends up adopting a horde of found-family morons with a jumbo jet’s worth of baggage.
Batman’s like “Has Robin come home yet?”
And Alfred’s like “He’s adopted several troubled heroes and has become the mom of the group.”
Batman starts to cry and is like “I have trained him well.”
Idea for the Mario Movie
While everyone else is animated, Bowser is just live action Jack Black in a Bowser Onesie.
I’m replaying Fallout: New Vegas and- it’s just- The Courier never would have found Benny if he just changed out of that ugly-ass suit ONCE. Like, The Courier goes to a place and is like “YO, DID A MOFO IN AN UGLY-ASS SUIT PASS BY HERE” and everyone is like “YEAH. UGLY CHECKERED-SUIT WEARING ASSHOLE PASSED BY HERE.” Like, fuck, Benny. How did you get anything done ever?!
Having watched season 1 of The Owl House I have come to a realization.
I thought the internet was playing up Amity’s crush on Luz, you know, because it’s the internet and exaggerating things is kinda what we do here. But, no. Amity really is the giant gay disaster that the internet portrays her as. And honestly, good for her.
Me, waking up: Uggh, fine. *sigh* let’s get onto Tumblr and see what-
Alright I need more arcane content
Vi: If I go into a girl's house and she's got a bunch of plants I know she's a keeper. After all, she already takes care of a bunch of useless fucks, what's one more?
~ Later ~
Caitlyn, bursting into a plant shop and hurling a wad of money at the owner: GIMME EVERY FERN YOU'VE GOT!
Heimerdinger: *sees Ekko hurt on the side of the road*
Heimerdinger: Welp, guess I'm a dad now.
Jinx: If you eat a salad one time you're not a salad eater, but burn down ONE building and suddenly you're an arsonist! Fuck off!
Vi: We're gonna need money.
Jinx: I gotta great way of getting it!
Caitlyn: Do I even want to-
Jinx: It's where I point my gun at people and they gimme all their money! Works every time!
Ekko: *looks at Jinx having her sixteenth mental breakdown, Vi drinking herself into oblivion, and Caitlyn having a Sapphic crisis*
Ekko: Oh God... am I the stable one?!
Heimerdinger: *calling for peace and unity among the Council and actually seeming to get through to them*
Jayce: I'm about to do what's called a pro-gamer move.
There are 3 types of Samus fanart
3. Tired 37-year old female ex-con single mother of 3 who drank a bottle of jack for breakfast and isn’t going back to prison.
I love all three.
HE’S THE LEADER OF THE BUNCH! YOU KNOW HIM WELL! HE’S FINALLY BACK, TO KICK SOME TAIL!
Just saw Dune: My thoughts
- I identify with Lady Jessica because I too would betray an ancient order of Space Witches for Oscar Isaac.
- Truly stunning visuals and set pieces. Everything not only felt epic in scope, it felt REAL. Like it was places that truly existed.
- I would murder for hair as beautiful as Paul Atreides’.
- This just in: Duncan Idaho is the purest force of good in the galaxy.
- Who is a better Space Jesus: Luke Skywalker or Paul Atreides? Let’s discuss.
- If I ever end up stuck on a desert planet I want to be stranded on one with Space cocaine that lets me see through time.
- Epic fight scenes, but not enough scenes of Jason Mamoa in a loose-fitting white shirt dual wielding swords.
- Of course you’re having visions of Zendaya, Paul, she’s Zendaya. Everyone has dreams of her, you ain’t special.
Ultimately: Space Cocaine/10. Looking forward to part 2