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shadow-coolness · 4 months

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*the trio are camping out*

Clark quickly gets up: PA THE CHICKENS ARE DROWNING!!

*Clark instantly goes back to sleep*

Lois: The hell was that?!

Jimmy: Recurring farm nightmare.

#incorrect quotations #incorrect quotes #superman #my adventures with superman #maws #incorrect superman #incorrect my adventures with superman #incorrect maws #source: garfield

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lithiumseven · 1 year

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Clark: This will give you the time to examine and process what you’re going through emotionally

Bruce: I don’t like it

Clark: Really? I love feeling feelings

Bruce: …

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greenapplebling · 2 years

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Superman, watching at Batman stalking over a rooftop: Have you ever heard the expression "idiots, as smoke, like to go to high places"?

Batman, looking up at Superman floating over him: So you're double the idiot?

Superman:

Superman: Huh. You got me there

#dc #superbat #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect batman #incorrect superman #superman #clark kent #batman #bruce wayne #batfam #batfamily #superfam #source: seraph of the end (partially)#guys i have run out of ideas

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incorrectbatfamandfriends · 3 months

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Bruce: Why are you two fighting?

Damian: Kent keeps insisting I’m a clone.

Clark: Jon now that’s not very nice.

Jon: But it’s true. He was made the same Connor was, and everyone calls him a clone.

Clark: Well it’s different-

Jon: How?

Bruce: Yeah Clark, how?

*Outside, ten minutes later, as Bruce and Clark argue*

Tim: This was the best idea we’ve ever had.

Kon: Totally.

Damian: Tt, I believe we are owed payment?

#incorrect batfam #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfam #batfamily #batman #superman #superboy #supersons #dc robin #robin #damian wayne #tim drake #red robin #conner kent #kon el superboy

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vodrae · 4 months

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Villain swaps Bruce and Clark minds.

Bruce: I get the "man of steel" now. *Punches villain*

Clark: Why...Why...WHY ARE YOU SO MUCH IN PAIN ?!

Bruce: What do you mean ? I took a 12 hours break yesterday, I'm as fresh as a newborn.

#batman #batfamily #batfam #dc comics #dc #dcu #bruce wayne #superbat #clark ken #superman #justice league headcanon #justice league #batman incorrect quotes #superman incorrect quotes #batman headcanon

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mcuxhp777 · 1 month

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just imagine how stressed the jl would be after finding out that bruce has a biological son. he's batman, so of course, he's not going to get laid, right? then he introduces the new robin that acts and looks a lot like him and the jl malfunctions

Diana: So, he's not adopted?

Bruce: No, he's my son

Clark: How did you? How can you? How did this happen?

Hal: What Clark's trying to ask is, how did you get laid?

Clark: Especially with you brooding all the time

Bruce: It just happened

Diana: *Picks up Damian* He's quite cute

Damian, about to stab Diana: I am not cute

Diana, who is used to kids with a sword due to being raised on Themyscira: Oh and he's a warrior by heart

#justice league #bruce wayne #batman #diana prince #wonder woman #clark kent #superman #hal jordon #green lantern #damian wayne #robin #incorrect quotes #jl incorrect quotes

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iwannabealice · 2 months

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clark: i met this boy last night that seemed to really hate you

bruce: that could be anyone, what did he look like?

clark: tall, white, dark hair, really big-

bruce: ah, that’d be jason. my son

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incorrectbatfam · 7 months

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Bruce: Would you like something to drink? We have water, milk, juice, spiders, Dr. Pepper—

Clark: Spiders?

Bruce: Spiders it is, then.

Clark: No, that wasn't—

Bruce: *already pouring a glass of spiders*

#source: incorrect quotes ideas #bruce wayne #batman #clark kent #superman #justice league #batfamily #batfam #batman family #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect justice league quotes #incorrect dc quotes #dc comics #tw arachnophobia #tw food mention

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superbat-love · 3 months

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Clark: [stares at Ace] Is that what I think it is?

Bruce: Oh, that’s Chewperman, Ace’s favorite chew toy.

Clark: You let Ace chew on a mini me?

Bruce: That’s what it’s made for. If it makes you feel bad, I’ll make one for Krypto too. He’ll love it, right boy?

Ace: Woof.

The following week at the Fortress of Solitude…

Bruce: Why is this toy kept behind a glass casing? It’s meant for Krypto. [takes it out of the casing and tosses it to Krypto] Here boy!

Krypto: [happily chomps on the Batman chew toy]

Clark: Noooo! Don’t! Krypto, let go of Batsqueak!

Bruce: Batsqueak?

Clark: It just feels wrong, Bruce! I can’t bear to let any harm come to Batsqueak. He should be kept safe in his ice cave, not mauled by giant fangs.

Bruce: …

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vixfern · 3 months

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Bruce: So what's for dinner?

Clark: I can't tell you, it's a soup-prise!

Bruce: ...

Bruce: Is it soup?

Clark: I soup-pose it could be! *winks*

Bruce: Please, Clark, enough with the soup puns.

Clark: Wow, you're soup-per mean.

Bruce: STOP!

*one hour later*

Bruce: It's fucking tacos?!?!?!

#batman #dc #batfam #batfamily #dc comics #dcu #bruce wayne #Clark Kent #Superman #soup puns #funny #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect quotes #Superbat #bruce wayne x clark kent #bruce x clark #superman x batman #incorrect Superbat quotes

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singswan-springswan · 9 months

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Clark: Bruce Bruce what is this 9 yr old Dick: :D Clark: Bruce Bruce, haggard, injecting 5 hour energy straight into his arm: baby bird Clark: you can't let a child fight crime Bruce, near tears: you want to try and stop him? please for the love of God Clark try please Dick: I'm gonna do murder! Dick: *cartwheels* Clark: oh no Bruce: that's what I said

#incorrect batfamily quotes #clark kent #bruce wayne #dick grayson #superman #batman #robin

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headcanonthings · 4 months

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Clark: *Laying face down on the floor* Lois: So Bruce said he liked you? Clark, muffled: Yeah Diana: ...and you asked him to marry you? Clark: Yeah Lois: Oh shit. How did he react? Clark: Dunno, I ran before I could scare him even more *Meanwhile* Bruce, kicking in the door to the Manor: Kids, Alfred! Holy shit I'm gonna get married!

#incorrect quotes #incorrect dcu quotes #incorrect superbat quotes #incorrect batman quotes #incorrect superman quotes #dcu #clark kent #kal-el #superman #lois lane #diana prince #wonderwoman #bruce wayne #batman #alfred pennyworth #batkids #superbat

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p1nkshield · 1 year

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Bruce: Robin, this is Superman

Clark: hello! it’s a pleasure to meet-

Robin!Dick: Can you throw me?

Clark: I’m sorry what?

Robin!Dick: I said can you throw me with all your strength into the sky!

Clark: No?!? Why?!? You would die!

Robin!Dick: I won’t die I’m built different!!!! Throw me!! I wanna taste the clouds and see how many flips I can do!!

Bruce: *long dad sigh*

Clark: clouds just taste like water!

Robin!Dick: Sounds like something someone might say if they wanted all the tasty clouds to themselves!

Clark: What?!?

Years Later

Dick: Uncle Clark?

Clark: No, I will not.

Dick: >:(

#dick grayson #batfam #incorrect batfamily quotes #bruce wayne #batman #robin!dick #robin dc #clark kent #superman #nightwing #c’mon Clark launch him into the stratosphere #it’s what he wants #imagine fully grown nightwing begging Superman to throw him

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werewolf-in-sweaters · 6 months

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Bruce: Rules are made to be broken. Clark: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken. Dick: Uh, piñatas. Jason: Glow sticks. Tim: Karate boards. Damian: Spaghetti when you have a small pot. Bruce: Rules. Clark: