Bruce: Jaylad, I need you to be at the Wayne gala this weekend.
Jason: But why me, B? Why not pretty boy, Dickie? I'm sure the ladies miss him.
Bruce: Your brother has a double shift this weekend.
Jason: How about the brat? He needs the socialization.
Bruce: Will be at the Kents' for a sleepover.
Jason: How about -
Bruce: The rest of your siblings will be busy, lad.
Jason: But Bruce, I'll be busy too. And even though I wasn't, I don't want to be around those pretentious fuck - people.
Bruce: Diana will be there.
Jason: Why didn't you start with that? Absolutely! I'll be there, old man. And I'll need a new suit.
--
at the gala
Diana: Aw, you look really handsome, little prince.
Jason blushes and smiles like the little boy who saw Wonder Woman for the first time.
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I remember seeing someone say that Bruce wouldn't deny the Batman allegations. Like he will proudly tell everyone he is most definitely the Batman whenever he's asked, and it would actually do wonders with keeping the secret hidden.
Like it would be more suspicious than anything if billionaire playboy Brucie Wayne so adamantly denied any connection to the vigilante.
And yeah, so i was thinking what would his kids think about it? like they get asked during interviews and whatnot what they think about their dad being Batman.
I feel like Dick would just play along and say some shit like "if B is Batman, then I'm Nightwing" and get a look from the man
And Jason would take any opportunity to shit on B and say something along the lines of "B's Batman? I call bullshit. He's not even a man"
Tim would either:
a. pull up a 99 slided presentation about how Bruce Wayne is, in fact, NOT Batman and be internally laughing the whole time cause he is funny, and people just dont know what they're talking about.
Or b. (only when he's been up for a few days) confirm it and go "Well yes, of course he is. It'd be weird if he wasn't since the cave's under the house."
Cassandra would just smile and stare into the person's soul until they move on onto the next question.
Steph would deny it and claim that she's Batman and that Bruce is her Robin. She'd probably also manage to convince a few people to join her.
Duke would be like "He's Batman? Ohhh that explains the explosives I found in the cellar!" or something else, just as worrying.
Damian would just nod and go into a full length speech about how Batman is the best superhero (after Nightwing of course) and completely disregard the question. And before anyone can re-ask, he'd just walk off.
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Remember that one time Merlin called Arthur a toad then said magic was outlawed so he’d never turn into a handsome prince?
What if he kept doing that casually, as his way of showing Arthur magic can be useful.
For example:
Arthur: do you ever wish there was a way to start fires without needing to gather firewood?
Merlin: there is. Your father outlawed it.
Arthur: there must’ve been a reason. Fire can be dangerous if it gets out of control.
—
And he tries to defend it, but it doesn’t hold up and over time Arthur starts just making sarcastic comments instead of actual defenses
—
Arthur: torches are so inconvenient. We need a better way to make light that can keep hands free for swords or other weapons.
Merlin: Magic, but it’s illegal so you’re stuck with carrying a torch.
Arthur: last time I needed light because you were dying it wasn’t evil.
Merlin: well, it’s unfortunate that you don’t know how to use magic then, sire.
—
Until he just can’t defend it
—
Arthur: six weeks?! I can’t miss six weeks of training for a broken foot! Is there some way to speed it up? Or just… fix it now?
Gaius: I don’t think-
Merlin: yes.
Gaius, who knows Merlin’s plan: *sigh*
Arthur: Thank god. Do it then.
Merlin: No. It’ll land us all on the pyre and I’m quite fond of, y’know, breathing, so suck it up.
Arthur: why is that kind of magic illegal? Surely healing isn’t evil.
Gaius: what you ask is treason, sire. Please be cautious.
Arthur: …
—
Merlin: who knows? Maybe all the bandits will decide to magically take a day off so you can go hunting without being hunted.
A few hours later, being chased through the woods by bandits:
Arthur: non magic sucks!
Merlin: yep. You can always repeal the ban once you’re king!
Arthur: huh… you know, I think I will.
Merlin: great, pardon my treason then. *magically knocks out the bandits and summons their horses and Arthur’s weapons back*
Arthur: THIS WHOLE TIME?!
Merlin: yep.
Arthur: …
Arthur: I can’t believe that worked.
Merlin: me neither, to be honest, sire.
—
Then they both laugh about it and Arthur repeals the ban, magic is free, Morgana is never evil, Agravaine doesn’t exist, and Mordred comes back to Camelot and gets therapy.
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*Meeting Rollo for the first time*
Mc/Y/N/Yuu: Bro...
Idia: Hm?
Mc/Y/N/Yuu, pointing at Rollo: Do you see that damn haircut he got on?
Idia, turning his head: ...
Mc/Y/N/Yuu: ...
Idia: There is no way...
Mc/Y/N/Yuu: Well, apparently there is a way...
Idia: His parents totally didn't care about him
Mc/Y/N/Yuu: Damn right they didn't, no caring adult would let their child run free in THAT bob without looking good
Idia: L.O.L for real
Malleus, out of nowhere: indeed, child of man, no kind, caring adult would let their child run free in such hair.
Idia, Mc/Y/N/Yuu: AAA?!
Malleus: But what if, perhaps, his parents do wear the same "bob" hair cut? A family tradition of sorts?
Idia, Mc/Y/N/Yuu: ...
Mc/Y/N/Yuu: now I'm imagining a family portrait with all of them wearing bobs
Idia: HEH HEH HEH L.M.A.O I'm imagining that too now
(IDIA IS DOING HIS "Hehehe 👹" LAUGH I SWEAR, NOT THE "hehehe 😝🤭" LAUGH PLZ)
Dividers by/from @/cafekitsune
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