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#incorrect the untamed quotes

Drunk Lan Zhan: You know what I really wanna do with you?

Wei Ying: Uh-huh. Ethically speaking, I don’t think we can do that with you in this state.

Lan Zhan: Have a baby.

Wei Ying: ‘Kay, we will make a baby as soon as you sober up.

Lan Zhan: Oh no, not make a baby. Have a baby. Like I wanna have like a little baby with you. And we could just love it and hold it and bounce it.

Wei Ying: Yeah, that’s a…that’s a big one-eighty.

Lan Zhan: You would be such a good dad.

Wei Ying: Have we met?

Lan Zhan: I wish you were my dad.

Wei Ying: Okay, now we’re just spiraling off in all directions.

26 notes · See All

Teenage, totally-not-in-denial LWJ: “You can hate people and still think they’re hot.”

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LWJ staring at the newly reappeared Yiling Patriarch:

“Fear is a powerful aphrodisiac.”

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Teenge LWJ, after calling WWX shameless for the umpteenth time: “It’s a joke. I was insulting him. You know, flirting.”

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LWJ right before every banquet ever: “I’m fine at parties. I just stand in the middle of the room and don’t say anything.”

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WWX looking after his drunk husband: “Wait, is that a smile I see?”

LWJ sporting extremely red ears: “Possibly. My immune system is too weak to fight off my smile muscles.“

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Chief Cultivator LWJ, interrupting a rambling sect leader: “Thank you, Sect Leader. Your entire life is garbage.”

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LJY composing a report to send to Gusu: “Hangjuang-jun, is there anything you want to tell your brother?”

LWJ: “Mn. Tell him I said-” *raises head a little*

LJY: “You want me to write that you nodded slightly?”

LWJ: “He’ll know what it means.”

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LWJ internally panicking while comforting crying toddler LSZ for the first time: “Your sadness is noted.”

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LWJ roasting Su She: “You’re so good at being lame and I’m not.”

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LWJ looking fondly at WWX: “I didn’t understand why people care so much about their dumb husbands until I got a dumb husband myself.”

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LWJ, constantly: “It’s very embarrassing, having feelings.”

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LWJ listening to his brother talk about JGY: “Mn. That’s the guy you said the boring stuff about. Like he’s a good listener.”

 LXC, mildly offended: “Sorry, what do you look for in a guy?”

LWJ: “I don’t know, real stuff. Like the shape of his ass.”

55 notes · See All
Lan WangJi: So, what was your childhood like?
Wei WuXian: Oh, you mean my tragic backstory that you must be at least level 3 friendship to unlock?
Lan WangJi: ...What level am I at?
Wei WuXian: 10. So it all started-
558 notes · See All

*during a random Gusu funeral *

Wei Wuxian: *standing next to his husband and in-laws while staring fixedly at the coffin and fingering his flute* Hey, anyone want to hear a wonderful misinterpretation of the Shroedinger’s cat theo-

Lan Qiren: *scandalized* Wei Wuxian!

Lan Xichen: *smiling nervously* Master Wei, I really don’t think this is the time.

Lan Wangji: *whipped as ever* Let him finish.

Wei Wuxian: *trying and failing to look demure and not like he’s having the time of his life* No, no, they’re probably right. It was going to be wildly inappropriate. *winking at Lan Wangji* I’ll tell you later.

74 notes · See All

Wei Wuxian: do you ever see something that changes your life and you’re just like ‘huh’

Lan Wangji: I saw you

Wei Wuxian: honestly that’s so gay and sweet and it really makes this awkward because I was gonna show you a drawing of Jin Zixuan as a turkey

17 notes · See All
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