Carl: alcohol tastes better when you’re underage because the secret ingredient is crime.
Tour!Joan, dropping something: ᶠᵘᶜᵏ
Tour!Aragon: No, let her cuss. You say it, kiddo.
Tour!Joan: ᶠᵘᶜᵏ ˢʰⁱᵗ
Joan: I broke into the queen’s liquor cabinet this one time—— I was going through some stuff. I drank this really spicy, cinnamon drink- I can’t remember what the name was. Something stupid, like Earthquake. Anyway, there were these really good sugar crystals at the bottom and I wanted to get them, so I had the bright idea to smash the bottle onto the counter!
Joan: Apparently “sugar crystals” look a lot like glass
Joan: Your cousin found me on the floor, drunk out of my mind. Blood pouring out of my mouth.
Kitty: ʸᵒᵘ ᵃᵗᵉ ᵍˡᵃˢˢ﹖
Joan: I ate glass, yup
Negan after killing alpha: I would do anything for my friends, which I think is how everyone in the world feels. Which is why I finally understand war.
Negan: Daryl, we’ve known each other for a long time, right? You’ve come to respect me?
Negan: well get ready to stop
Gabriel: Alcohol makes people either sad or happy. It’s the Lifetime movie of beverages.
Marlon, to Clem: If you need something, just tell me or Louis.
Louis: …And maybe Violet so that we have some common sense in the group?
Rick to Negan: I don’t care if your a kid at heart there is no way I am letting you win an Easter egg hunt welcome to the real world jackass
Aasim: It’s alright. I was the obvious suspect.
AJ: Of course I don’t run with knives! Clem taught me better!
AJ: I sprint.
Eugene: Oh yeah? Well, I got five words for you, buddy.
Eugene: please be nice to me
Javi: I am an expert at identifying birds.
Clem: Okay. How about those ones flying over there?
Javi: …Yup, they’re all birds!
Louis, very bad at flirting: Ummm…. you smell really good.
Clem, equally bad at flirting: Thanks, I use both my nostrils.
Michonne: why are rick and negan sitting back to back?
Carl: because they got into a fight
Michonne: why are they holding hands?
Carl: because fighting makes them sad