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#incorrect thor quotes

You know those beautifully bizarre little kids who decide to wear fancy dress everywhere?

Imagine if loki was the same but instead of a costume, it was whatever new form he had leant shape-shifting.

Odin: Well met, Queen Aelsa Featherwine of the Fay. May I introduce my lady wife, Queen Freyja Freyrdottir, my heir Thor the Thunderer and… (sigh) loki…

Loki: *dragon form* RAWR!!!

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Someone: But don’t you guys want to find someone to spend the rest of your life with? You know someone that could give you affection, emotional support, and little gifts like back massages!

Loki and Verity: [look at each other with a shrug]

Loki: Did you understand that?

Verity: Nope, that was all gibberish to me.

Loki: Anyway, let’s go to the mall and get back massages!

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Thor at Tony’s wedding: Congratulations, Stark! I hope you like your gift.

Tony: Thanks [looks around] …where is it?

Thor: Me! I’m not just the god of thunder, I’m also the god of fertility! Naturally, as the god of fertility I-

Tony: I also accept gift cards!

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Tony: It took me forever to figure out how to deal with Loki and it wasn’t until I remembered Bruce calling him a bag of cats that it hit me.

Thor: I don’t understand.

Tony: Like a cat,[pulls out a feather wand] all he needs is an outlet to let out his energy.

Thor: Interesting…Hey Loki, look at this! [dangles feather wand in front of Loki napping]

Loki: [wakes up] HEY! What the hell are you doing? Get that stupid-[bats feather away] Huh! …[bats again with more force]

Thor: [pulls stick back] You’re right, this is so stupid…[leaves]

Loki: [chases] Hey! Wait, I wasn’t done with that.

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Loki: [phone dings] Oh, come on! I just got comfortable.

Peter: What’s wrong?

Loki: I set my phone to notify me whenever Thor says my name really loud and assumes I have something to do with a current atrocity. [gets up from couch and grabs coat]

Peter: So, you’re going to the crime scene? …On purpose?

Loki: Yup! Gotta keep up the image and make his life as mildly inconvenient as possible.

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Asgardian: For the tenth time. Nobody here is going to be mad at you, we just need to know the truth. Are you really Odin or are you someone pretending to be Odin?

Three snakes, a magpie, a dagger, and the Tesseract in a trench coat: Are you calling me a liar?!?!

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Thor: Loki and I were walking downtown and someone was yelling about how Halloween is “the day of the devil” and Loki went “Wow, a whole day all for me?” and the man started clinging to his Bible and Loki rolled his eyes into the back of his head and shapeshifted into a serpent and now Nick Fury is mad at us because he caused mass panic in downtown New York during rush hour

Loki: but it was worth it

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