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#incorrect tokyo ghoul quotes
  • Akira: Alright Seidou, you take the 500 ghouls on the left, I’ll take the 500 on the right.

  • Seidou: Screw you, I’m taking 501.

  • Akira: That’s the spirit.
24 notes
  • Itori: What’s the signal if something goes wrong?

  • Uta: How about “oh shit”?

  • Itori: Sounds good.
42 notes

Ichika: What’s that machine doing?

Yomo: Its getting rid of the moths honey.

Ichika: Where is it taking them?

Uta: Hell.

Yomo: Don’t say that.

Uta: Oh I’m sorry not hell, Mexico

95 notes

(Before he got kidnapped by Torso)

Mutsuki: Hello 911? Hi yeah omg sorry I know it’s late and this is probably so annoying like hell, i don’t wanna bother you haha, like i know you’re probs mad at me, are you mad at me? actually don’t answer that it’s okay haha. omg this is so stupid like i sound like such a crybaby right now, like for real i’m listening to myself talk and i’m like “aaahh you’re so embarrassing!!” haha like… omg haha i’m so… anyway. what was i saying? oh right. so i was just stabbed in the chest and

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Hinami : *trips on air*

Ayato : haha you are so clumsy.

[later when hinami is not around]

Ayato, punching the air : Who do you think you are, who THE FUCK DO YOU THINK-

516 notes

Kaneki: *Hair is turning white*

Touka: Your hair…it’s turning white!

Kaneki: Does it look bad?

Touka: Uh…no?

Kaneki: You hesitated.

Touka: N…no I didn’t!

35 notes
You can’t spell slaughter without laughter. I’m a huge fan of genocide.
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My mama didn’t raise no fool. Maybe a broken shell, with multiple mental illnesses and questionable coping mechanisms. But no fool.
328 notes
Touka, when I’m feeling low self-esteem, I do a little exercise. I say my name and then three positive things about myself. I’m Nishiki Nishio. I’m handsome, women find me desirable, and people want to be my friend. Touka, now you try it
Ah, I don’t want to.
Come on. Please.
Okay. I’m Touka Kirishima, I’m beautiful, men find me desirable and people want to be my friend.
Oh no, I think I confused you there. I meant three things that apply to you. Like, I’m Touka Kirishima, I make decent coffee, and uh..... I’m very prompt, and umm..... Well, there’s no law that says there have to be three good things.
Um.... I just thought of a third one: she can break a friend’s neck like a twig.
197 notes
Bird cage, ray of hope, blah blah blah...That load of shit is your excuse for turning me into this?!
Doctor Kanou
...I'm a doctor. The fact that I saved your life hasn't changed.
You didn't save my life, you ruined my death! That's what you did!
42 notes

Bokuto : What are we watching?

Akaashi : Tokyo Ghoul

Bokuto : * gasp * ThErE’s a gHouL in ToKyo?

Akaashi : It’s just an ani-

Bokuto, realized where he is rn : * another gasp * We aRe iN tOkYo

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Hide: Guess which one I have feelings for

Kaneki & Touka: (talking to each other in the distance)

Hide: Both, actually

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Hide, posting on his social media: Reading is just staring at a dead piece of wood for hours and hallucinating

Kaneki, replying: Please delete this

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Hide: Come on! Hit me! (Gets in a fighting stance)

Kaneki: I’m not going to hit you

Touka: You want me to do it?

Kaneki: (elbows Touka)

3 notes