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incorrectpeterparker · 3 months

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Peter: Getting up a 6am made me realize that 6am isn’t a place it’s an emotion

Tony: 6am isn’t a place at all

Peter: That’s because it’s an emotion

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marvel-lous-guy · 5 months

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Tony: What the hell was that!?

Peter: A calculated risk

Tony: YOU ALMOST BLEW YOURSELF UP!

Peter: I SAID IT WAS CALCULATED! I NEVER SAID I WAS GOOD AT MATH!

Tony: Well it was implied!

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oscorp-lawsuit · 1 year

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Tony: makes a joke belittling himself

Peter: “Ah! No self-depreciation. Put another hundred in the jar.”

Tony: grumbles to himself as he shoved a $100 bill into a jar labeled “Mr. Stark’s Self Love Bank <3”

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louwaffles · 1 year

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Y/N: Hey guys, guess what I did today?

Tony: Destroyed another one of my suits?

Steve: Blew up the White House? Or was it the Pentagon?

Sam: Sent out an atomic missile for fun?

Scott: Oh, I love guessing games! Did you disappoint Fury and all of us again?

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jjsmaybank20 · 1 year

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Wanda: Y/N kissed me!

Natasha: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!

Wanda: It was unbelievable!

Natasha: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!

Thor: Okay, we wanna hear everything. Natasha, get the wine and turn off your phone. Wanda, does this end well or do we need tissues?

Wanda: Oh, it ended very well.

Natasha: Do not start without me! Do not start without me!

Thor: Okay, alright, let’s hear about the kiss. Was it a soft brush against your lips or was it like a, you know, “I gotta have you now” kind of thing?

Wanda: Well, at first it was really intense, you know? And then, oh God, and then we just sort of sunk into it.

Thor: Ohh... So, okay, was she holding you? Or were her hands on your back?

Wanda: First they started out on my waist and then they slid up and then they were in my hair.

Natasha and Thor: Ohhh.

*meanwhile*

Y/N, eating pizza in her room: And, uh, and then I kissed her.

Tony: Tongue?

Y/N: Yeah.

Clint: Cool.

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incorrectmarvels · 6 months

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Steve: Are you going to help or are you too pretty?

Tony: I’m too pretty.

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syngrafaes09 · 1 year

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*Y/N Stark doing something idotic*

Stephen: Did Tony drop when you're a child?

Y/N: Bold of you to assume that I was even held

Stephen:

Tony: Y/N, we have talked about this!

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pochilovesloki · 8 months

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Loki: My hands are cold.

Tony: Here, let me hold them.

Loki: My lips are cold too.

Tony: *covers Loki's mouth with their hand*

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1luna1lovegood1 · 1 year

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Peter: Am I in trouble?

Tony: Take a guess.

Peter: No?

Tony: Take another guess.

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bitchy-marvel-dude · 2 years

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Tony: Are you crying?

Harley, sniffling: No, it’s just an allergic reaction.

Tony: An allergic reaction to what?

Harley, sobbing, making grabby hands at Tony: LIFE!

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heavenlyangeliq · 1 year

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Tony : I gotta go to the bathroom so bad.

Bruce : That’s, like, the third time today, man. What is going on with you?

Tony : Oh, Loki freaked out ‘cause I told him I never drink water so now he’s making me drink eight glasses a day. It’s, like, there’s water in soda, there’s water in coffee, there’s little pools of water on pizza.

Bruce : That’s grease, Tony.

Tony: Well, it’s wet, isn’t it?

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incorrectpeterparker · 1 year

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Peter: On Halloween, we dress like skeletons, but in reality, the skeletons dress like us.

Tony: I worry about you.

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marvel-lous-guy · 2 years

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Muffled voice on the phone: We have kidnapped your son and if you want to see him alive again you'll have to-

Tony: Son? I HAVE A SON!?! WHY AM I JUST HEARING ABOUT THIS!?!

Muffled voice: ...We have the teenager with brown hair and a science pun shirt

Tony: Oh, you mean Peter. Yeah, he's not my son.

Muffled voice: ...are you sure?

Tony: yeah, I'm pretty sure

Muffled voice: Well, we still have the kid locked up... so do you want him or not?

Tony: ... Peter is literally sat right in front of me doing his calculus homework...

Tony: Pete, were you kidnapped?

Peter: Oh yeah! That's what I forgot to tell you!

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unabashed-lover-of-fictional-men · 2 years

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Y/N:"If jealousy is a green eyed monster,then consider me the Hulk and I'm about to smash if I find out who ate my ice cream! "

Steve and Bucky looking at Tony who's eating ice cream

Tony confused: "Why are you two looking at me?"

Clint and Natasha grabbing some popcorn

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fr1day-incredible · 1 year

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Steve: "Tony, you need sleep"

Tony: "Sleep? Fuck sleep"

Steve: "Tony no-"

Tony: "Tony YES"

#avengers #marvel #incorrect quotes #incorrect marvel quotes #incorrect avengers quotes #incorrect tony stark quotes #incorrect steve rogers quotes

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jjsmaybank20 · 1 year

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Peter: What's the most efficient way to burn calories? Steve: Exercise more! Y/N: Set yourself on fire. Tony: There are two kinds of people.

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