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#incorrect tony stark quotes
incorrectpeterparker · 3 months
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Peter: Getting up a 6am made me realize that 6am isn’t a place it’s an emotion
Tony: 6am isn’t a place at all
Peter: That’s because it’s an emotion
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marvel-lous-guy · 5 months
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Tony: What the hell was that!?
Peter: A calculated risk
Tony: YOU ALMOST BLEW YOURSELF UP!
Peter: I SAID IT WAS CALCULATED! I NEVER SAID I WAS GOOD AT MATH!
Tony: Well it was implied!
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oscorp-lawsuit · 1 year
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Tony: makes a joke belittling himself
Peter: “Ah! No self-depreciation. Put another hundred in the jar.”
Tony: grumbles to himself as he shoved a $100 bill into a jar labeled “Mr. Stark’s Self Love Bank <3”
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louwaffles · 1 year
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Y/N: Hey guys, guess what I did today?
Tony: Destroyed another one of my suits?
Steve: Blew up the White House? Or was it the Pentagon?
Sam: Sent out an atomic missile for fun?
Scott: Oh, I love guessing games! Did you disappoint Fury and all of us again?
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jjsmaybank20 · 1 year
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Wanda: Y/N kissed me!
Natasha: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!
Wanda: It was unbelievable!
Natasha: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!
Thor: Okay, we wanna hear everything. Natasha, get the wine and turn off your phone. Wanda, does this end well or do we need tissues?
Wanda: Oh, it ended very well.
Natasha: Do not start without me! Do not start without me!
Thor: Okay, alright, let’s hear about the kiss. Was it a soft brush against your lips or was it like a, you know, “I gotta have you now” kind of thing?
Wanda: Well, at first it was really intense, you know? And then, oh God, and then we just sort of sunk into it.
Thor: Ohh... So, okay, was she holding you? Or were her hands on your back?
Wanda: First they started out on my waist and then they slid up and then they were in my hair.
Natasha and Thor: Ohhh.
*meanwhile*
Y/N, eating pizza in her room: And, uh, and then I kissed her.
Tony: Tongue?
Y/N: Yeah.
Clint: Cool.
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incorrectmarvels · 6 months
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Steve: Are you going to help or are you too pretty?
Tony: I’m too pretty.
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syngrafaes09 · 1 year
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*Y/N Stark doing something idotic*
Stephen: Did Tony drop when you're a child?
Y/N: Bold of you to assume that I was even held
Stephen:
Tony: Y/N, we have talked about this!
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pochilovesloki · 8 months
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Loki: My hands are cold.
Tony: Here, let me hold them.
Loki: My lips are cold too.
Tony: *covers Loki's mouth with their hand*
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1luna1lovegood1 · 1 year
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Peter: Am I in trouble?
Tony: Take a guess.
Peter: No?
Tony: Take another guess.
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bitchy-marvel-dude · 2 years
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Tony: Are you crying?
Harley, sniffling: No, it’s just an allergic reaction.
Tony: An allergic reaction to what?
Harley, sobbing, making grabby hands at Tony: LIFE!
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heavenlyangeliq · 1 year
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Tony : I gotta go to the bathroom so bad.
Bruce : That’s, like, the third time today, man. What is going on with you?
Tony : Oh, Loki freaked out ‘cause I told him I never drink water so now he’s making me drink eight glasses a day. It’s, like, there’s water in soda, there’s water in coffee, there’s little pools of water on pizza.
Bruce : That’s grease, Tony.
Tony: Well, it’s wet, isn’t it?
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Peter: On Halloween, we dress like skeletons, but in reality, the skeletons dress like us.
Tony: I worry about you.
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marvel-lous-guy · 2 years
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Muffled voice on the phone: We have kidnapped your son and if you want to see him alive again you'll have to-
Tony: Son? I HAVE A SON!?! WHY AM I JUST HEARING ABOUT THIS!?!
Muffled voice: ...We have the teenager with brown hair and a science pun shirt
Tony: Oh, you mean Peter. Yeah, he's not my son.
Muffled voice: ...are you sure?
Tony: yeah, I'm pretty sure
Muffled voice: Well, we still have the kid locked up... so do you want him or not?
Tony: ... Peter is literally sat right in front of me doing his calculus homework...
Tony: Pete, were you kidnapped?
Peter: Oh yeah! That's what I forgot to tell you!
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Y/N:"If jealousy is a green eyed monster,then consider me the Hulk and I'm about to smash if I find out who ate my ice cream! "
Steve and Bucky looking at Tony who's eating ice cream
Tony confused: "Why are you two looking at me?"
Clint and Natasha grabbing some popcorn
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fr1day-incredible · 1 year
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Steve: "Tony, you need sleep"
Tony: "Sleep? Fuck sleep"
Steve: "Tony no-"
Tony: "Tony YES"
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jjsmaybank20 · 1 year
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Peter: What's the most efficient way to burn calories? Steve: Exercise more! Y/N: Set yourself on fire. Tony: There are two kinds of people.
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