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#incorrect xmen quotes

Cyclops: Did you have to stab him?

Wolverine: You weren’t there, you didn’t hear what he said to me.

Cyclops: What’d he say?

Wolverine: “What’re you gonna do, stab me?”


Cyclops: You know what, that’s fair.

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X-men Evolution

Logan, a tired dad: Help me carry these.

Rogue: I can barely carry the weight of my depression…

Logan: Just pick up the grocery bags!

Bobby: Good news and bad news!

Logan, already dreading the answer: Good news first.

Bobby: It is highly unlikely that I will EVER do it again!

Kurt: Rather muggy outside today, don’t you think?

Kurt: *sips milk from a bowl*

Logan: *looks outside to see all the mugs on the lawn*

Logan: It is…

Logan: *sips coffee from a bigger bowl*

Logan, trying: How was school today, half-pint?

Kitty: School was a 10 year old junior league baseball star who’s parents just announced their divorce and I am the festive birthday pinata.

Logan: *genuinely concerned*

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Cyclops: Will you stop killing all the bad guys! It’s not the X-men way!

Wolverine: That guy died of natural causes!

Cyclops: Logan, you threw him off the roof…

Wolverine: Gravity is natural

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Logan: *huffs*

Scott: What?

Logan, glaring: I’m jealous of you, Slim.

Scott, smiling: Why?

Logan: Because your boyfriend is way smarter than mine.


Scott: wait…but I’m your–

Scott: LOGAN!

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Scott: I didn’t know you had a Facebook page?

Logan: A what?

Scott: a Facebook page. Why didn’t you tell me, I could have sent you a friend request before now.

Logan: The hell are you talking about? I don’t have a page for anything?

Scott: *hands over the phone*

Logan: *sees over 2000 posts, 319 photos, 410 friends, an icon of a wolverine wearing sunglasses, a backdrop of the Canadian flag, likes, dislikes, relationship status: it’s complicated, emojis, quotes, and over 1000 friend requests from Deadpool*

Logan: *crushes phone*


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[Summary of X-men 2000]

Logan: I’m alone in the world. I don’t care about anyone or anything except myself. I live to fight, drink and do it all over again each night in this frozen wasteland of– *meets Rogue*


Logan: I’ve only known this girl for a couple of days but if anything happens to her I will kill everyone and then myself.

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Scott: Okay, let’s just agree to say ‘I’m sorry’ on the count of 3?

Logan: Fine.

Scott: One…two…three.




Scott: …well now I’m just disappointed in us both.

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Cyclops: You made me cry, jackass! I hope you’re happy now!

Wolverine: Baby

Cyclops: This is no time for endearments, Logan, I’m too mad right now!


Wolverine: I’m calling you a baby, dumbass. I’m insulting you

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Logan, already exasperated: Let’s try this again. If you see something bad happening, what’s the first thing you do?




Bobby: …call the X-men?


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[X-men Evolution]

Xavier: Alright, kids, this year for Halloween I’d like for you all to dress up as your favorite hero.

Everyone: Okay!

(Halloween Night)

Kitty: *comes out dressed as Wolverine* Haha! Fear me villains!

Kurt: *also dressed as Wolverine* Awww, come on! I called it first! I even made claws!

Rogue: *looks down at her own costume* Well one of us is gonna have to change.

Jubilee, Bobby, Berserker, Jamie, Wolfsbane, Torpedo: *walks in dressed as Wolverine*

Beast: Isn’t that sweet.

Scott: They love him.

Jean: That’s so cute, isn’t it, Log- Logan?

Logan: *muffled sobbing*

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