Jaime, a Texan: I've never seen snow before. Can someone describe it to me?
Tim, a Gothamite: Smells like water.
Jaime: Wow, it's like I'm there.
3K notes
·
View notes
Kon, Bart, and Tim: [screaming]
Cassie, running into the room: What's wrong, Tim?!
Kon: Why are you only asking Tim?! We're all screaming!
Cassie: Because Tim doesn't scream unless it's an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.
2K notes
·
View notes
Tim (about Kon): I can fix him.
Cassie: You are literally worse.
3K notes
·
View notes
Incorrect Batfam Quotes
Tim: Hey Damian?
Damian: Yes, Drake?
Tim: I know this may come as a shock to you, but you know how you’re unhappy everywhere you go?
Damian: *eyebrow of suspicion
Damian: …yes?
Tim: It’s because you are there. And I know this, because I am experiencing this effect. We are now unhappy together. But I know how you can fix it.
Damian: …
Tim: You can leave. And then I will be happy again.
Damian: …
Damian: Your misery makes me happy. I’m inclined to stay.
Tim: Godd*mnit.
2K notes
·
View notes
its them
6K notes
·
View notes
Take the pizza, Tim. 😥
1K notes
·
View notes
Kon: I like your new pants!
Tim: Thanks, they were 50% off!
Kon: I’d like them better if they were 100% off. *winks*
Tim: The store can’t just give away clothes for free.
Kon: Thats’s… not what I meant.
Tim: That’s a terrible way to run a business, Kon.
200 notes
·
View notes
*Tim bursts into the room with news about a mission*
Tim: Guys! We're going to New Hampshire!
*Bart mishears*
Bart: But we don't even have a hamster. How can we get a new one, if we don't have one?
Tim: No, not a new hamster, New Hampshire.
*Connor walks into the room*
Connor: We're getting a hamster?
Tim: No, we are going to New Hampshire.
Connor: Oh. Are we getting a hamster from there?
*Tim face-palm*
Tim: There are no hamsters.
321 notes
·
View notes
*in the Young Justice group chat at 2:42 am*
Tim: Me, watching a table: haha its doin a little dancey dance
*the next morning*
Cassie: Hey quick question what the FUCK did that mean
Tim: Sorry I was fighting my sleep meds Im not sure either
Bart: Clearly the table was doing a little dancey dance
528 notes
·
View notes
Cassie: call him Tim.
Bart: yeah Tim call him!
Tim: why is it always me that calls him? Why do I always call him? Huh it’s not like Kon lives in my ass.
Tim: (sees Cassie and Barts expression and turns)
Kon: ( whispers seductively as he pushes his sunglasses a little down his nose) you called babe?
Tim: (blushes hard) Damn it Kon.
Kon: Do you want me to- (gets tacked by Tim)
Cassie: should we stop them? ( Tim shoves Kon’s head in a wall) we have a mission.
Bart: nah let Batman and Superman deal with it. (Pulls out phone and starts recording)
194 notes
·
View notes
[raiding the batfam's fridge]
Kon: All right, they've got water, orange juice, and... what looks like cider.
Bart: Taste it.
Kon: *drinks it*
Kon: Yep, it’s fat. I drank fat.
Bart: Yeah, I know. I did that two minutes ago.
2K notes
·
View notes
Cassie: Problem, I can't tell if this food is over-sauced or undercooked.
Cissie: Solution, just pop it back in the oven for another 10 minutes. There's at least a 50% chance that'll fix it, right?
Tim: Result? Food has somehow become unpleasantly soggy and unpleasantly crunchy at the exact same time.
Kon: No better time than this to pull out my favorite word! Slunchy!
Anita: ...put it away.
165 notes
·
View notes
Y/N: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Jason?
Jason: No
Dick: I do
Y/N: I know, Dick
Dick: I'm sad
Y/N: I know, Dick
542 notes
·
View notes
Tim: Why do I always let you two talk me into things like this?
Kon: This was literally your idea!
Bart: You made charts.
Kon: And diagrams.
Bart: And code names-
Tim: YES ALRIGHT FINE. FUCK.
867 notes
·
View notes
Black Canary: Kids, I hate to break it to you, but that’s called a traumatic event.
Black Canary, to Kid Flash: Not a ‘bruh moment’
Black Canary, to Artemis: Not a ‘major L’
Black Canary, to Miss Martian: Not a ‘spicy slay’
Black Canary, to Super Boy: Not an ‘oof lmao’
Black Canary, to Aqualad: Not a ‘yikes situation’
Black Canary, to Robin: And definitely not an ‘average tuesday’
2K notes
·
View notes