Tomorrow's Loss: Chapter 1
Book Summary: All Tom wanted to do was study with his friend, but then his crush of four years shows up unannounced and urges them to evacuate for an unknown reason. After they are on the road, they learn they are escaping a dangerous bloodborne pathogen that is turning those infected violent and cannibalistic, all with a disturbing smile on their face. Tom soon finds himself on the way to play a tragic game of house with his best friend, his crush, a married couple and their dog. Tom hopes the CDC is right when they say they willl get it all under control soon. However, as days pass with no sign of respite, they become painfully aware that help will not be on the way after all. When Tom's group begins to lose members to the virus and gains one additional, they are all stuck trying to adapt and survive in this new world. After nearly a year, the group is forced to venture out further for food and other supplies, finding other survivors who only want to harm them more than the Smilers do. But when Tom is saved by one stranger, it opens his world to the possibility of community and actually living instead of just surviving.
A/n: I can only share 10% of my novel, so here's the first 5%.:) Read end note for links and coupons.
I dance to the speakers pumping music in my dorm. Sound waves of instruments I have no interest in ever learning how to play echo and bounce off of the thin walls. I know my neighbors would complain if they ever actually spent any time at home. The opening verse to Modern Baseball’s “Re-Do” rings out as I pull clothes from my closet. I’m getting ready to meet with my best friend Tim so we can hold each other accountable for actually getting work done instead of getting trapped into an endless scroll on Instagram, Facebook or God forbid TikTok. As I make the ultimate decision between two shirts, I hear something that doesn’t quite sound like it’s part of the song.
I hesitate, waiting to see if Tim will unlock the door and come in but when he doesn’t I resume the task of throwing on my red heather. As I pop my head through the neckhole, I hear someone calling my name. Weird. It kind of sounds like… I freeze my movements.
Could it really be him? It’s been since my birthday in March that he last visited. Any doubt in my mind is quickly extinguished when, by some miracle, I clearly hear the pounding on my door over Brendan Lukens’ voice.
I jump and yank my pants up over my hips before scrambling to the source of the noise. I give myself a once-over in the mirror before unlocking the door and swinging it open.
There Mark stands, a fist still raised ready to assault my poor door again. He lowers it and barks out something I never expected to hear from his mouth.
“Grab your shit let’s go.”
“Mark!” I almost fall backwards, definitely not expecting to actually see him. But there he is, the biggest crush I’ve ever had – standing right before me. “What are you doing here?”
“Grab. Your. Shit. Let’s go!” Taking charge, he pushes past me and begins pulling out all of my dresser drawers, shoveling socks, shirts and pairs of underwear into the backpack that he just carelessly dumped my very important schoolwork out of.
“Hey!” I shout, surprise quickly getting replaced by frustration. “Mark, what the hell? Stop! My papers are getting all over the place. I did a lot of research on those!” I drop to my knees to try to gather them into their respective stacks before they get too disorganized.
“You always do research!” He retorts as if it justifies his actions. He moves to the closet and starts pulling out my jeans. I notice he’s pointedly ignoring the dressier clothes, instead opting for my more practical wear such as jackets and sweaters instead. He turns to me once he seems satisfied with his haul.
“Where’s Tim?”
I’m taken aback. Why would he be asking about him? What’s he doing here destroying our room anyway?
“At the library. I was just about to meet him there. Why? Mark, what’s going on? You’re acting like someone accidentally killed John Wick’s dog.” I try a smile and a reference to the first movie we watched together to snap him out of whatever has a hold on him. I know we have plans to see number four when it finally hits theaters, but to my great disappointment he completely ignores my efforts.
“Jake and Tash are meetin’ us at the cabin. I’ll explain later. Is there anythin’ else you need?” He pauses. “Your prescriptions!”
He turns to rummage through my bedside table where he knows I keep my pills, but he also happens to find some other things that I really wish he hadn’t.
Mark slows his movements just long enough to toss the condoms and lube into the bag too. “Gotta still be safe, I guess. Safety first. That’s a priority.”
I can feel my face turning beet red and I’m ready to just close in on myself.
Then Mark is right back in front of me snapping his fingers in my face.
“Hey, look. I know you weren’t expectin’ to see me, and I know it definitely wasn’t the reunion you wanted. Hell, it’s not the reunion I wanted either, but we really need to go. We need to find Tim and you need to decide if there is anythin’ else you want or need.”
But I just can’t comprehend what’s going on here, and how could I? Mark is giving me virtually zero information to go on.
“How long are we going to be gone? Can I turn in my papers first? I’m kind of at my deadline. I might need to ask for a leave of absence if it’s going to be long.”
“They’ll understand about the papers, and if not, I’ll make them understand. I don’t know how long.”
“Is someone in trouble? Are we going on the lam?” I look around the room in all its small and crowded glory. My eyes fall to my plush canid collection beside my bed.
“Can I take them?”
Mark follows where I’m pointing and sees the many plushies that he’s personally gifted me over the years.
“Yeah, yeah. If it’ll make you feel better and get your ass movin’, grab ‘em.”
After I safely pack them away with the rest of my deemed essentials, Mark takes hold of the bags and moves them closer to the door.
“Call Tim. Tell him to meet us somewhere close. We need to go. I’ll get his shit for him too.”
In a matter of minutes the two of us are sitting safely in Mark’s backseat but I still don’t feel ready to let out the breath it feels like I’ve been holding. Not until we get to where we’re going and I learn what we’re running from.
“You two lovebirds start callin’ your friends and loved ones and tell ‘em to get to safety.” Mark looks in his rearview mirror at us. “We don’t have any room for ‘em to ride with us, but we can at least give a heads up since the government is failin’ us yet again.”
“Lorelei is in Florida. Will she be okay?” Tim questions, and I wonder if he feels guilty over not insisting on spending their mini-break together. In his defense, she did say she would be happier just going alone. Girl time, she called it.
“Uhh… Yeah, yeah. That’s far enough. Still get in touch to be sure. Let her know not to come back for now.” He instructs, but I don’t know if I really believe him. His eyes are all shifty and I don’t miss the way Mark’s hands clench around the wheel. It’s way worse than what he’s letting on. Mark doesn’t get this freaked out over just anything.
“Okay… Can we please know what’s going on now?” I finally speak up, daring Mark to dodge any more of my questions.
He spares me another glance in the rearview mirror.
“There’s a virus.”
A groan. “Oh, great! Just what we needed. How serious is it? Like covid?” Tim complains as he rubs his forehead.
“I still wear masks, it’s not all that bad. I’ll also get the vaccine when it’s out. Whatever it takes to keep the world going.” I easily concede, not at all ready to go through another pandemic, especially when this one isn’t really over.
“It’s not like covid.” Mark shakes his head. “It’s not in the lungs.”
“Then how is it transmitted?” I look at Tim just in time to see him narrow his eyes, definitely not liking the sound of this. Neither do I.
“Blood. They’re sayin’ it’s a bloodborne pathogen.”
“So what, like hepatitis or HIV? A glorified STD?” I inquire, holding my African wild dog plush close for comfort. “As long as we don’t come in contact with bodily fluids we’re fine right? Why do we need to leave?”
I know I’ll be fine, at least. Although, I’m not too sure about the other two men in the SUV. The perks of being sexually inactive, I guess.
“It’s not that simple.” Mark sighs, and I notice his hands tighten on the steering wheel once more; he must have loosened them at some point.
Maybe we should discuss this later, I don’t want us to get in a wreck and end up needing a blood transfusion on top of everything else…
Wait…
“Can we try blood transfusions? Could that make a difference? Would it purify it?” I glance at the pre-med student beside me for his input.
“Possibly. But at this time it’s still new and unlikely and would take studying and human trials and–”
“Alright, enough!” Mark startles the both of us with his booming voice, commanding us into silence. “It has somethin’ to do with blood under the nails. Think about that. Quietly please.”
“Subungual hematomas?” Tim exchanges looks with me, likely making sure he heard correctly.
“Quietly please.” Mark reiterates.
For the next half hour, the drive is mostly in silence, save for the occasional cough or sneeze and “bless you” that follows.
I take the liberty of counting out just how many pills I have when –oh no– I should have picked up my prescriptions yesterday. I only have about a five-day supply here, give or take – and that’s only because I haven’t taken today’s doses yet since I usually like to just choke them all down at once before going to sleep. This is bad.
It shouldn’t be too long, right? I should be able to make it on a solid four-day ration… Right?
Don’t be stupid, Tom.
I glance at Tim, my roommate and friend of three years. I’ve never had a friendship last that long, other than Mark if you consider him a friend. Then that relationship would be four years.
Next I hazard a glance back at the driver, seeing him in deep concentration. How would Mark know about this? I haven’t even heard about it on the news. Then again, I don’t really watch a lot of news anyway. It’s not good for my mental health. But being in college, kids talk. A lot. No one has mentioned this.
I feel my anxiety budding, and I squeeze my plush even tighter even though it makes me feel childish. I wonder if I should just pop the anxiety pill right now.
When I look out of my window nothing seems out of order or unusual. Everyone seems completely fine. Happy even. No one even looks irritated, they’re all smiling. I offer my own smile to the world.
Maybe it isn’t all that bad.
I even catch sight of an officer pushing a shopping cart, a baby strapped into a carrier on his chest. A smile plastered on his face too. It strikes me as a bit odd, wouldn’t a cop usually change out of uniform before running personal errands? Keep work life and home life separate, and all that.
I can’t imagine what he could have been exposed to on the job, and what he was now exposing his child to.
I shouldn’t think too hard about it.
Once we get about forty-five minutes away from our college, Mark pulls off into a gas station. He gets out, leaving his window down and begins pumping. I catch him looking back and forth towards the store.
“Mark? What’s wrong?”
“Kinda wanna stock up on some smokes. Just in case it’s a good time to pick up a bad habit.” He admits with a careless shrug, but I can tell it’s just a front.
“Want me to go get them?” I offer with a hand already on the door handle.
“No.” A firm shake of his head. “Safer out here.”
“Want me to pump and you go get them?”
No answer.
I waste no time exiting and walking around the trunk to take the pump from his hand, “I got this. Go ahead.”
“Can you and Tim fill up the cans in the back after you’re done with the car?”
“Sure.” I easily agree, ready to get back on the road to supposed safety as soon as possible.
“Hey, Tim! Get your ass out the car, if I’m leavin’ one of you out here defenseless you’re both gonna be out here. Protect each other. I’ll be right back.” Mark stalks off when he sees him nod and unbuckle his seatbelt.
“Well, this has been weird.” Tim gets himself situated standing beside me, prompting me to take the perfect opportunity to start my rambling.
“We still don’t know what this virus is doing, if it kills people, if they’re working on a cure, just how sick we’ll get, how many of us are infected, what we’re going to do in the meantime, why cigarettes and condoms are so important–”
“Hey, hey, hey. Calm down. It’s okay. I know this is stressful but everything is going to be fine. We trust Mark and Jake, right? The thing I’m most concerned about is the condoms you mentioned.” He smirks, knowing it would throw me off.
“And lube.” I would have covered my face in embarrassment if my hands weren’t currently occupied and covered in only God knows how many germs. What if I have any open wounds on my hands? Maybe we should have grabbed disposable gloves too. I study the box of disposable gloves next to the pump that nearly no one uses.
“Oh, God, why? Did Mark say who it’s for?”
“Well, not really. He was in my drawer getting my meds and…”
“Oh, no! Your condoms and lube? That’s so embarrassing!” He emphasizes certain words to get a rise out of me. He knows he succeeded when my face burns a deeper shade of red than it previously was.
“Stop! Shut up! God, I hate you.” I look down in an attempt to hide my smile, but quickly look back towards the store. What is taking so long?
Just then a stumbling woman approaches us.
“Hi, any chance you can spare a hand sanitizer?”
We exchange wary looks.
I don’t think hand sanitizer will benefit us too much, and she seems really polite with a big toothy grin.
“Sure, I don’t see why not.” I easily agree but stop short when I notice the gas cans still surrounding me. “Uhh…”
“Don’t worry, Tommy. I got it.” Tim offers, leaving me to the task at hand.
I smile at him, “Thanks.”
Tim leaves me alone with the strange woman, but thankfully he’s only gone for a moment. He quickly pulls himself back out of the car with his own personal travel bottle just in enough time to see how engrossed she is with staring me down.
“Here you go, ma’am.” He reaches out to her, but she snatches his hand in a death grip, digging her pinkie nail into him with alarming pressure before taking the hand sanitizer and walking away without another word.
It all happens so fast neither one of us can react, but the shock must still be evident on our faces when Mark makes it back to the car.
He looks at the machine and hums at the price, not seeming at all bothered that the cost is in triple digits. I know he doesn’t have money like that. None of us do.
He eyes the both of us, taking note of whatever our expressions show. Does he notice Tim cradling his wrist?
“Y’all okay? Look like you’ve seen a ghost or somethin’.”
“Or something.” Tim frowns, highly unusual for his usually chipper self. “Can we just get back on the road now?”
“Yeah, y’all hungry? I got a ton of snacks while I was waitin’ in line.”
“No thanks.” We answer simultaneously.
“Alright, more for later then. I am gonna say choose what you want, though. First pick.”
“Fine.” Tim opens the door, getting back into the car.
“Jeez, what’s his problem? Trouble in paradise?”
I just look at him.
After we’re all seated and buckled up, Mark tries again.
“Is it something I said?” He puts the vehicle in reverse and pulls out.
“More like what you didn’t say. What exactly is going on here? You can’t just say there’s a BBP causing subungual hematomas and leave it at that. That makes no sense.” Tim forces through clenched teeth.
I observe my best friend press his wrist down against his leg.
A deep breath.
“Okay, look. It is bloodborne. So you can get it pretty much anyway you can get any other virus like that, I’m assumin’. But for some reason the easiest way to catch it is through the nails.”
“Somethin’ happens, a blood clot forms under the fingernails which wouldn’t be such a big deal except for some reason the infected nails are really brittle, so a simple scratch can be way more devastatin’ than usual and pass the infection faster than a class of kindergartners in flu season.”
Tim furrows his brows. “So, like an iron deficiency?”
“What do you mean?” Mark asks cluelessly.
“Iron deficiencies make your nails dry and brittle. Break easy. If it’s being transmitted through the blood, maybe that has something to do with it.”
Mark seems to think carefully for a moment. “If it’s really severe could it cause extreme cravin’s?” He actually takes his eyes off of the road for this one
“Well, it can. I’ve read before that whatever your body is craving is a sign of what your body is missing. But, iron deficiency or anemia causes pica. Pica makes you have weird cravings like ice, clay, dirt, paper, chalk, etcetera.” Tim clarifies. “Stuff that isn’t really food or good for you.”
“How the hell do two kids know this and not the WHO?” He pitches his voice low in an attempt to say it under his breath, but we hear him anyway.
“Excuse me? The WHO? It’s worldwide? Just what are we dealing with exactly?” Tim narrows his eyes once more, fully suspicious that Mark was indeed hiding the worst of it; I know because I feel the same way.
Uncomfortable with the sudden tension, I look out of my window to spot more people than I’m used to seeing out and about, all smiling. Except, there’s something about these smiles that don’t sit right with me anymore.
“Look, I told y’all everythin’ I know. Tell that girl Lori she–” He gets cut off.
“It’s Lorelei.” Tim corrects with anger in his voice.
“Tell Lorelei she needs to stay where she is and take shelter. Stay safe.”
“Why? What is so bad about this? Are we going to die?” Tim demands, his raised voice making me flinch.
“I dunno! Fuck! It’s bad, alright? The ones infected are turning on the uninfected. Turning on their Goddamn loved ones for chrissake! All with that stupid fuckin’ smile on their faces.”
He gulps a breath before continuing his explanation.
“You can’t trust any of them. They won’t remember you. It takes over. They have bad blood runnin’ through those brains now. They’re violent. They get vicious cravin’s.”
“What cravings?” I speak up for the first time since this conversation began.
A beat of silence as Mark considers his next words. My heart feels like it’s slamming into my ribcage, its rapid beating the only noise I can hear.
“You’ve told us this much.” I invoke. “Might as well keep on.”
Mark meets my eyes in the mirror.
“Meat, blood, life. I dunno what it is they’re after. As long as it’s human.”
It’s at this point that my entire world stops.
Then it rapidly slams back into movement.
Tim is freaking out. Lorelei isn’t picking up the phone, so he’s desperately trying to explain it all to her in texts. I just sit here, glued to my seat. Hands frozen. I can’t call anyone even if I had others to call.
“How long?” Tim’s strained voice snaps my attention to him.
“How long what?” Mark’s vision remains locked on the road.
We’re an hour and a half away from college now; from the life I don’t know if I’ll ever have again.
Tim carries on, “How long until you become one of them after being exposed?”
“I dunno. Like an hour or two? Depends on your size I guess. Why?”
“Does anyone know of a cure yet?”
“No, half the world doesn’t even know it’s goin’ on, and the other half doesn’t know what’s goin’ on.”
Tim is directly behind Mark, so he misses when Tim reveals his wound to me. What should have been a tiny scratch was now a gaping hole, spreading and branching out over his entire wrist. His blood is flowing at an alarming rate. I see bits of what I can only assume is remnants of the woman’s nail stuck inside of my friend’s skin.
He meets my eyes.
I feel like I’m going to be sick.
We both know it. This is goodbye – something Tim never liked to say even on spring breaks and holidays away. Goodbye implies there wouldn’t be another hello. It was the end.
I force myself to swallow the lump in my throat, fighting past the feeling that I can’t breathe. I imagine Tim feels much worse.
“Mark?” My voice wavers, the distraught immediately catching his attention.
“What’s wrong, Tomorrow?”
I wince at the nickname, one I always secretly loved just feels all sorts of wrong now. It isn’t fair.
“Did you bring oven mitts or something?
“Oven mitts– What?”
“Or something to cover hands with? Please?”
The desperation in my voice makes looking back completely unnecessary for Mark. He already knows the answer.
When he sees the dark crimson mess spilling onto Tim’s clothes and the blank look on his face, he snaps into action. He pulls off of the road and presses on the hazards. He wastes no time jumping out of his seat and yanking the door open to get my infected friend out.
Tim follows him out without a single complaint, just uses his good hand to toss his phone to me, who decides also exiting the vehicle is definitely a good idea and not at all a bad one.
I will never forget how Tim’s eyes appear distorted and out of focus, until a single tear slips down his face as he fades away.
Now he isn’t Tim anymore. Any trace of his consciousness long gone.
He is one of them.
He smiles.
~~~
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Still not sure? Stay tuned for chapter 2.
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