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xxlovelynovaxx · 1 year

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When you say that me accepting and even feeding my delusions that cause me no distress or dysfunction is "unhealthy" and "self-harm" (despite it not harming me and acceptance of them actually helping me heal from a lot of internalized hatred), and that I need to be (often forcibly) medicated and put in therapy*, what you're really saying is:

"I am uncomfortable with people being visibly and happily delusional. I think that gives me the right to remove people's autonomy and medically abuse them in order to make them more 'normal' and force a homogenous nondelusional experience on everyone. I think that not only are delusions an inherently disordered experience but that medical suppression is the only valid treatment even for distressing ones. I think that eradicating delusional people is okay."

And yes, this is eradication, full stop. It is not directly killing us (though for many of us, both the forced medical "treatment" and the rhetoric that it's not okay to be happy about being delusional DOES indirectly kill us), but it is eradication in the same way that saying "I don't want trans people to be killed, I just want them to not to transition" is. "Just be happy as a 'normal' (cis/nondelusional) person".

While there are happy non-transitioning trans people - just as there are delusional people happy to seek traditional medical treatment - it should be each individual's CHOICE and neither choice should be talked about as lesser or wrong. Though one is active (transition) and the other is passive (non-medicating/going to therapy), forcing medical treatment on someone is just as much a violation of autonomy as denying it.

It is also functionally no different from ABA being applied to autistic people, particularly ones who can't or don't mask/pass for neurotypical.

And in all cases, the people that say these things claim it's "for your own good" and that we are "incapable of making these decisions". That's massively condescending, and more importantly, infantilization. Y'know, the classic tool of bigots?

Note: I am saying the above AS AN AUTISTIC TRANS PERSON.

It is forced compliance to a standard of neurotypicality - in this case, nonpsychosis/nondelusionality. It is also an example of healthism - the conflation of health with morality and, in many cases, subsequent labeling of things that are neutral or positive health-wise as unhealthy to discourage them. (Even unhealthy things/choices are morally neutral, but the mislabeling of things is still an extension of healthism.)

This hurts ALL delusional people. It hurts those who don't want medication/therapy because they like their delusions. It hurts those who don't want medication/therapy because they are victims of medical abuse - which, by the way, the rates are extremely high for delusional people. It hurts those that don't want or can't take medication because of allergies/side effects/other health conditions. It hurts those that don't want to or can't do either for financial reasons. It hurts those who don't want to or can't do either due to other forms of bigotry.

And it hurts even those who want one or both because it contributes to the demonization of delusional people by giving them only conditional and partial acceptance on the basis of them managing to maintain a state (or veneer) of conformity to a standard of nondelusion.

Demanding delusional people pass as or be nondelusional for you to accept them means you don't accept them. Period. It means you accept people you believe to be or view as NONdelusional.

I am not anti-medication or therapy, for those who want it. See above: denial of care is just as much a violation of autonomy as forced medical "treatment". I strongly support the right of people to access treatment, and to have many of the access barriers in our current system (one of which is the demonization of certain disorders) torn down. I fight for the right to medicate and go to therapy just as ardently as the right to refuse it.

*Note: Throughout this post I speak of medication and therapy together as treatment to suppress delusions. This is not because I believe therapy will do so or even that medication is fully effective at such. This is because the people that say these things believe that medication is a magic normalization pill; and don't believe that only a BAD therapist would try and SUPPRESS delusions rather than giving you coping skills to RESPOND to them with.

There's more I could say about this topic, like:

that a lot of the idea of not "recovering" being harmful has to do with symptomology that can prevent someone from being as "productive" in capitalist society and therefore diminishes their worth as a capital-generator for companies/rich people

that there is a often component of colonialist white supremacy to this too - both in the deification of western medicine as the most advanced understanding of what constitutes a "disorder" and as a solution for those conditions - and in the focus on white western psychotic experiences to the exclusion of other culture's

in regard to the above point: like how in many other cultures, schizophrenic delusions and hallucinations in particular are often nondistressing and even comforting, and may also be integrated into the beliefs systems of those cultures

also in regards to that: how US racism (and possibly elsewhere as well) both strengthens and is strengthened by this - as black civil rights activists were frequently diagnosed with schizophrenia specifically in order to both turn the public against them and forcibly institutionalize them, especially when they refused treatment for their nonexistent delusions

subsequently, how racism was used to change in view of schizophrenia from primarily a hysteric (white) women's disorder to a "violent/dangerous" one for this reason, and how people of color and especially black people are far more likely to be labeled noncompliant and aggressive if they refuse treatment

the idea that consensual encouragement of delusions is not just harmful but abusive to the delusional person and the inherent removal of the delusional person's autonomy in stripping them of the ability to consent and how this is an extremely prevalent form of ableism that is used to deny everything from the sexuality of disabled people to recognition of their gender identity to their ability to refuse other medical care

in that same vein, the infantilization that leads to denial of physical medical care on the basis that their very real symptoms of another illness/condition are "all in their head", or mental healthcare on the basis that they can't differentiate between a delusion and other symptoms, especially in regards to delusion people with dissociative disorders, autism, and ADHD

just generally how this is just one of many ways delusional people of all kinds are demonized, some of which are subtle and some of which are obvious, but many of which are rooted in multiple forms of bigotry, many of which feed other forms of bigotry, and all of which are harmful and dangerous

As an added note, while I largely use psychosis and delusions interchangeably, delusions exist outside of psychosis (and psychosis exists outside of schizo-spec experiences). This is also because bigots often conflate the two.

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txttletale · 6 months

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niceys positive anon!! i don't agree with you on everything but you are so clearly like well read and well rounded that you've helped me think through a lot of my own inconsistencies and hypocrises in my own political and social thought, even if i do have slightly different conclusions at times then u (mainly because i believe there's more of a place for idealism and 'mind politics' than u do). anyway this is a preamble to ask if you have recommended reading in the past and if not if you had any recommended reading? there's some obvious like Read Marx but beyond that im always a little lost wading through theory and given you seem well read and i always admire your takes, i wondered about your recs

it's been a while since i've done a big reading list post so--bearing in mind that my specific areas of 'expertise' (i say that in huge quotation marks obvsies i'm just a girlblogger) are imperialism and media studies, here are some books and essays/pamphlets i recommend. the bolded ones are ones that i consider foundational to my politics

BASICS OF MARXISM

friedrich engels, principles of commmunism

friedrich engels, socialism: utopian & scientific

karl marx, the german ideology

karl marx, wage labour & capital

mao zedong, on contradiction

nikolai bukharin, anarchy and scientific communism

rosa luxemburg, reform or revolution?

v.i lenin, left-wing communism: an infantile disorder

v.i. lenin, the state & revolution

v.i. lenin, what is to be done?

IMPERIALISM

aijaz ahmed, iraq, afghanistan, and the imperialism of our time

albert memmi, the colonizer and the colonized

che guevara, on socialism and internationalism (ed. aijaz ahmad)

eduardo galeano, the open veins of latin america

edward said, orientalism

fernando cardoso, dependency and development in latin america

frantz fanon, black skin, white masks

frantz fanon, the wretched of the earth

greg grandin, empire's workshop

kwame nkrumah, neocolonialism, the last stage of imperialism

michael parenti, against empire

naomi klein, the shock doctrine

ruy mauro marini, the dialectics of dependency

v.i. lenin, imperialism: the highest stage of capitalism

vijay prashad, red star over the third world

vincent bevins, the jakarta method

walter rodney, how europe underdeveloped africa

william blum, killing hope

zak cope, divided world divided class

zak cope, the wealth of (some) nations

MEDIA & CULTURAL STUDIES

antonio gramsci, the prison notebooks

ed. mick gidley, representing others: white views of indigenous peoples

ed. stuart hall, representation: cultural representations and signifying pratices

gilles deleuze & felix guattari, capitalism & schizophrenia

jacques derrida, margins of philosophy

jacques derrida, speech and phenomena

michael parenti, inventing reality

michel foucault, disicipline and punish

michel foucault, the archeology of knowledge

natasha schull, addiction by design

nick snricek, platform capitalism

noam chomsky and edward herman, manufacturing consent

regis tove stella, imagining the other

richard sennett and jonathan cobb, the hidden injuries of class

safiya umoja noble, algoriths of oppression

stuart hall, cultural studies 1983: a theoretical history

theodor adorno and max horkheimer, the culture industry

walter benjamin, the work of art in the age of mechanical reproduction

OTHER

angela davis, women, race, and class

anna louise strong, cash and violence in laos and vietnam

anna louise strong, the soviets expected it

anna louise strong, when serfs stood up in tibet

carrie hamilton, sexual revolutions in cuba

chris chitty, sexual hegemony

christian fuchs, theorizing and analysing digital labor

eds. jules joanne gleeson and elle o'rourke, transgender marxism

elaine scarry, the body in pain

jules joanne gleeson, this infamous proposal

michael parenti, blackshirts & reds

paulo freire, pedagogy of the oppressed

peter drucker, warped: gay normality and queer anticapitalism

rosemary hennessy, profit and pleasure

sophie lewis, abolish the family

suzy kim, everyday life in the north korean revolution

walter rodney, the russian revolution: a view from the third world

#ask #avowed inframaterialist reading group #i obviously do not 100% agree with all the points made by and conclusions reached by these works #but i think they are valuable and useful to read

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prettyboypistol · 1 year

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Okay okay- that scout fic got my brain thinking.

How would each of the mercs react to being dommed and being called good boy??

BC LIKE YOUR WRITING IS SO GOOD I LOVE IT

MINORS DNI 18+

Mercs Getting Called a Good Boy! (xGN Reader)

Pyro referred to with all pronouns, but AMAB

Scout

You pull Jeremy close as you ball up his shirt. He can feel your hot breath tickle the hairs on his neck.

"C'mon Jeremy, be a good boy for me?"

Nearly cums on the spot

blushyyyyy blush blush blushhhh

If you're not railing him, you will be soon. that's one of his secret insta horny buttons.

Even if he's fucking you, if you call him a good boy he will melt

Tie him up, smack his ass, kiss him, tease him, fuck him til he's dizzy. He doesn't care as long as he's your good boy.

If it's sprung on him it hits his ego a little and makes him feel a little emasculated, so he begs that you don't say it around the others.

Engineer

He's usually gotten shit for being the shortest of all the mercs, so it takes him a moment to really understand what you meant by calling him a good boy.

Like don't get him wrong, it's not like he's insecure, but a guy can only take so much before he develops a complex.

He's not really a fan of it tbh, but he doesn't mind letting you top

Dell would call you a good boy/girl/lil' thing easily, pulling his southern drawl in to really mess you up

Yeah he's more of a trad masc dude, not that he cares about nontraditional men's choices, it's just his preference

Spy

Very confused, but immediately gives you sass about it.

"I'm already letting you have the ropes, you're just gloating now"

He's into it only in specific circumstances, like when he's fully a bottom.

His control complex is hard to get through, but as soon as you do, god it's adorable how much he craves it.

He will never tell you up front, but there are microexpressions that you might pick up on to tell you if he's in the mood for it.

One of those "figure me out" types, and will never tell you what he wants unless he's taking it.

Heavy

Feels??? Weird??? but also warm inside, like when you usually call him pet names

It makes him feel small, but not in a bad way.

He's never been dommed or topped before, so it's all kinda exciting

He'd prefer some other version of "good boy", like "my baby" or "honeybear"

Would kiss you and want kisses so so much

Heavy knows you're trying to get hi in the mood and mindset of being a sub, he's not an idiot, so he rolls with it.

Overall he's neutral on it, not ecstatic but doesn't hate it.

Demoman

Surprisingly very into it

Like, you're taken off guard at the babblemouth he becomes after "Good boy" slipped from you.

He usually dirty talked during sex, but you didn't realize that he's like that when he's the bottom!

"C'monnn, give your good boy what he deserves!" whiny ass baby

After the fact, cuddles you close and rambles on about how he's always been into it, but nobody's been bold enough to call him that

Tavish loves all versions of good boy, ex "attaboy", "prettyboy" "babyboy" etc.

Pyro

Loves it so fucking much, through the muffled squeaks and nods of approval, you decide to go with it at the enthusiastic response

Pyro was always into affection during sex, from gentle touches on their body to touching you- maybe he's making sure that you're real?

Since the mask coming off was a hard no, every time you called her a good boy you heard a happy moany-wheeze of breath of enjoyment.

As much as Pyro is infantilized, I prefer a more realistic depiction of schizophrenia/psychosis. As fun as Pyroland is all sunshine and rainbows, delusions really hurt the psyche.

When you two are done fucking, they seem at peace. It's hard to feel like a good person when you're that disillusioned with reality

Medic

Now this man gets all giggly like you might expect Pyro to be.

Super eager to please you

Loves getting your hands tugging your hair as you pull his head back when you're behind him/on top of him. Bite his neck and call him your good boy.

It'll bleed into when he's experimenting too, if he gets too spooky while you're on the operating table just hit him with "Aww, be my good boy?"

If Medic's topping, he somehow rails you harder

Aftercare king if you praise him sweetly

100% gets jealous if you call Archimedes a good boy.

Sniper

Not a fan at first, but it grows on him

After long days he just crawls into your arms and sighs, he puts your hands into his hair and groans

"My good boy" "yeah.."

He doesn't mind subbing/bottoming, but you get the best results when he's tired and exhausted.

As he's breathing deep, tired, and in the moment, you just kiss his brow and say it.

He snuggles into you tightly, nearly stopping sex to just hold you

Smack his ass and call him good boy at random please

Soldier

Surprisingly receptive, but in an unorthodox way.

"Good boy Solly-" "I'm a good MAN!"

well, that works too.

It works as more ammo when you're topping

"That's it honey, what a man. Good boy, Jane~"

Since Soldier is one of your more crazy lovers, you like how he puts his own spin on everything. it's a breath of fresh air.

He'll call you a good boy, but it'll drabble into telling you that you're patriotic during sex

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neuroticboyfriend · 7 months

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very tired of low high support need "binary" ... why everyone turn everything into 2 option box. why forget about people in middle. also. very hard tease out other disability and neurodivergence from autism. where line between schizophrenic asociality and autism social trouble. where line between negative/cognitive symptom schizophrenia and adhd and autism more well known experience of executive dysfunction. why "AuDHD" thing but not something like "schizautistic"? we too scary demonized for you? cant infantilize or make "super human"?

also also wish people remember that condition diagnosis category are group traits/symptoms, not One Way to be each, not so separate, human made up (based on real experience). all this impact support need, make medium, maybe medium high support needs. also, again, combine with All Other Disability, neurodivergence make physical disability *even harder* and vice versa. tired of being shoved into boxes and people decide what experience what based on label that supposed to be help you connect with other and get support.

#julian rants #autistic #adhd #schizophrenia #schizospec #neurodivergence #neurodivergent #disability #disabled #medium support needs #medium high support needs #high support needs #support needs #low support needs #schizophrenia spectrum #autism specturm #audhd #schizautistic

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mo0nb3rry · 4 months

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Mental health matters until...

They're hypersexual

They're overly dramatic

They have gross habits (eg, hoarding, not taking care of themselves, etc)

They don't experience a certain disorder the same way as everyone else

They romanticise their own illness (I'm not justifying glorification of mental illness, it's just that I notice that it's quite common especially in the €d community)

They have 'scary' disorders (eg: NPD, schizophrenia, psychopathy, etc)

They don't feel comfortable sharing anything with you

You can't infantilize them (Autism, Tourette's, depression)

You can't fetishize them (BPD, hypersexuality)

They only do certain acts for attention (eg: S/H, acting out)

They're 'annoying'

They're impoverished

They have 'problematic' coping mechanisms (Addiction, s/h, etc)

They have binging disorders

They have extreme intrusive thoughts

They have impulse control disorders (Klepto/ Pyromania)

They experience delusions

They're illness/disorder is seen as a 'joke' (Eg: Schizophrenia, autism, etc)

They s/h in a way that doesn't involve 'cutting'

They have extreme obsessions over things or people

Until they're a person of colour

Until they're conventionally unattractive

Until they're a woman (typically in cases of male dominated disorders such as autism)

Until they're a man (typically in female dominated cases such as BPD or HPD)

Until they're queer/ non-cis

Until they're apart of a religion that clashes with the behaviours of said illness

Tell me if I missed anything

#mental health #mental illness #actuallyautistic #cluster a #cluster b #cluster c #ableism #tw ableism #mental health support #you're valid #feminist #trans inclusive feminism #mental health matters

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artsyaech · 4 months

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going into next year, remember to keep fighting for disability and mental health rights!

[PT: going into next year, remember to keep fighting for disability and mental health rights!]

remember to:

put image IDs and plain-text on posts

tag eyestrain and flash warnings (DO NOT use #epilepsy, that puts epileptic people in more danger)

remember to tag potential triggers! (very important, i hate it when posts include my triggers and don't tag it)

remember that hyperfixating on / having a special interest in a problematic thing does NOT mean you're a bad person, as long as you acknowledge the problems with it. also, i can't believe this isn't talked about more, but a hatred for a thing can also turn into a hyperfixation / special interest! example: i had a hyperfixation on harry potter in a way that i absorbed criticisms of it and knew everything about it, but only because i wanted to be able to articulate how much i hate it and why. hyperfixation / special interest in something does not mean you like it / endorse it! (rant over)

PLEASE stop clogging up disability tags with fanfiction. yes, it's good that you're representing disabilities, but instead try tagging it with #disabled character or #disabled reader or something of the sort.

something i wanna leave in 2023, but unfortunately don't think will be going away soon is ableist / saneist slang or slang that makes light of disabilities / mental health. examples of this include: "delulu", "letting the intrusive thoughts win", "psycho", "schizo" (when referring to something that has nothing to do with schizophrenia), "bipolar" (when referring to something that has nothing to do with bipolar disorder), "sociopath", "psychopath", "narcissist" + MANY more

please stop infantilizing autistic people. i'm so tired of being treated like a baby.

c-punk is NOT an aesthetic and it is exclusively for physically disabled people. and if you're not physically disabled, call it c-punk.

uplift disabled and mentally ill voices.

below is a list of disabled creators you can support!

@my-autism-adhd-blog. summer (she/they) talks about their life as an autistic individual who has ADHD. super cool blog!

@cripplecharacters. a group of mods help answer questions about writing disabled characters. learned a lot from them.

@mogai-transcriber. (nameless) (she/he/it) describes mogai posts.

@accessmogai. reign (she/her) is a great mogai transcriber too. high quality IDs for all

@cpunkwitch. super cool witchy blog. cassandra (it/he/her/neos/none) is super cool and it's nice to hear a disabled voice in the pagan community.

@crippledpunks. cool positivity blog that talks about disability and educates on cpunk

@accessfashion. multiple mods add image descriptions to outfits. super epic stuff.

@cane-you-dig-it. disability and cpunk stuff. also just a super cool and talented individual.

@autistic-af. i wish she was my aunt, she's super sweet and her cat posts always make my day!

@crippled-peeper. relatable posts tbh.

@crippled-dinosaur. dino (it/he) talks about physical disabilities and cpunk

+ many more! feel free to add to this list

#this is the first of many posts i'll be making on stuff like this #aech rambles #disability #new year #mental illness positivity #positivity #long post

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zvtara-was-never-canon · 6 months

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I ship zutara and call the people who ignore canon hate on aang/mai and insist katara is a MOM and zuko is DAD. Fantara shippers i didnt ship zutara just to ignore the whole rival part but a lot of these fantaras share do plus as a zuko fan the whole softening of his character angry traits kinda felt like ableism

Oh it is absolutely ableism. "Of course he can show signs of mental health issues! But only the ones we can romanticize and he has to magically be healed by hearing 'I love you' and getting a hug, otherwise he'd be a lunatic like his sister!"

I get extra annoyed at people using "Autistic Zuko" as a headcanon to infantilize him, because I'm autistic myself - and I know that just a decade ago, the one getting labelled as autistic would have been Azula so people could completely mischaracterize "low/lack of empathy", just like they use the diagnosis of schizophrenia, ASPD or narcissim to go "See? Azula can't ever be redeemed, she has the Evil Serial Killer Disorder(s)!"

#anti zutara #zuko is not an awkward turtleduck #ableism

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cartoonscientist · 6 months

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in search for a good, plain text resource for my dad that explains to a boomer aged layperson how schizophrenia permanently impacts adults and is a lifelong disability without criminalizing or infantilizing schizos

topics desired:

-the concept that someone can be too disabled to have a traditional 9-5 in-person job or live alone 24/7, but not too disabled to work a nontraditional job, live semi-independently, or travel unaccompanied (either on errands or longer planned trips)

-the fact that schizophrenia causes cognitive and expressive differences that can make it so even when a person tries their hardest and isn’t “being lazy”, they still won’t be able to live up to certain standards or be accepted by wider society as “normal”

-antipsychotics and schizophrenia itself can cause fatigue and sleep issues as well as physical symptoms that make it hard to consistently do housework day to day or act as a full time caregiver for an elderly parent

-the importance of parents making arrangements so their disabled child can feed and support themselves and continue living in the family-owned home after they’re gone, even though yes, it can be very sad to think about

#actually schizophrenic #schizoaffective #schizophrenia

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nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos · 3 months

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Hey, Nyarla. I've been following you for a while and although this is a safe space and you seem extremely open minded and kind, I don't feel brave enough to say this off-anon due to past experiences.

You're one of the first authors who, without writing for it directly, has made me comfortable reading your headcanon sets and your fics and blurs, because they way you represent characters is comforting.

I am autistic, and it is extremely hard to have people not treat you like you're either mentally impaired (due to misinformation) or plain creepy (due to ableism), and it is disheartening to just exist sometimes. Often times, this kind of treatment gets applied from authors into their work. I don't think everyone has to know everything about every single condition in the world, but it seems there's a tendency to, most of the time, infantilize or demonize, or apply the aforementioned treatment, to neurodivergent people.

But to my very pleasant surprise, you had this set of headcanons for Mihawk, titled "Mood Swings", where you wrote the reader with some bipolar tendencies, and I couldn't help but bawl. I genuinely cried for a good while, in both relief and happiness. You didn't demonize bipolar tendencies, nor make him annoyed, nor anything of the sort. You were SO respectful about it, and so fucking mature in your writing, and it felt like a warm hug and a reassuring pat on the back.

You haven't even written anything for an autistic reader themselves, and you still helped me immensely with one single fic. Thank you so much for the way you write, and for the way you interact with your followers. You're wonderful, and I am eternally grateful to you for just one single set of headcanons like that. You reaffirmed the comfort within my comfort character. I hope you yourself find joy in the fact you, unknowingly, made a person so irremediably happy.

I can't thank you enough ❤️

I understand completely the desire to remain anonymous, but please know I still have the utmost respect for you for sending me this, and I really just wanna give you the biggest hug in the world, and I legitimately have tears in my eyes right now.

I'm going to come out and say right now, I'm schizophrenic. My official diagnoses is schizoaffective disorder depressive type, which essentially means that I experience symptoms of psychosis associated with schizophrenia (mostly auditory hallucinations in my case, occasionally visual, tends to worsen with lack of sleep) in tandem with symptoms characteristic of depression. I don't tend to tell people about it, because I know how schizophrenia is depicted in fiction and media in general. Typically as psychos that do bad things "because the voices said to."

I'm saying this because I want you to know that I understand how people tend to attach stigma to mental health conditions and neurodivergence, and I know how much it sucks and how much it hurts; and also that I respect you so, so much for talking about it. It's kind of skewed whether schizophrenia is considered neurodivergeant or not, but I tend toward identifying as neurodivergent. Experiencing the world differently, processing information differently, thinking differently is the general definition of ND, and I definitely identify with that.

I haven't specifically written autistic characters/readers largely because I don't feel like I would be able to accurately represent it, and I do not want to write it in a way that would make anyone uncomfortable or upset. I helped raise two of my nephews that were autistic, and they were both so different, in personality and quirks and "symptoms." They're also amazing and vibrant and intellient in ways that I can't even begin to describe.

Two of my favorite fictional characters that are generally accepted as being autistic are L and Near from Death Note. It's never explicitly stated in the manga or anime that they're autistic, but they're both written and depicted in a way that shows how they think and experience things differently without demeaning them for it; that other characters are a little nervous or intimidated around them at first, but grow to understand and form bonds with them over the course of the story; and they're also shown to be distinctly different from each other in personality, rather than carbon copies of each other. As such, if you haven't read/watched Death Note, I highly recommend it. Manga more than anime for personal reasons (there were some differences made in the ending of the anime that I don't agree with but I'm not going to get into that here)

ANYWAY

I'm also really beyond happy that you enjoyed Mood Swings. I wrote it with exactly the intention of representing Bi-Polar symptoms realistically and without any stigma. Knowing that you found it comforting makes me so, so happy. That was exactly what I wanted. I've seen "bi-polar" used synonymously with "psycho" so often, usually in tandem with a particular word rhyming with "witch," and I hate it so much.

Mental health isn't a joke. Some people are born with their brains wired differently. Some people are forced to live through trauma that rewires their brain. It makes day-to-day life exhausting beyond measure, particularly if it involves interacting with other people, and it's even more exhausting when others poke fun at it and don't take it seriously.

I know I'm repeating myself, but I really, sincerely want this blog to be a safe place for everyone. So it makes me so, so happy to recieve Asks like yours. So thank you again, and I hope you (and anyone else who needs it) continue to find this to be a safe place.

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aprofessionalwithoutstandards · 1 year

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My “favorite” is the infantilization of Pyro. It’s popular with newer people to the fandom nowadays but it’s always “Pyro’s not aware of anything! He’s got the mind of a child so you can’t ship him with anyone since he won’t be aware of it too!!!” When we have direct examples from the comics that they are clearly aware of what’s going on and they enjoy killing just like everyone else. Just because he enjoys seemingly “childish” things does not mean he’s a child or unaware. For fuck’s sake, Heavy treated him the same way and Pyro basically said “fuck you” by crushing his lighter

Literally so true n like with Pyro it's a whole different bag. Infantilization of Scout and sometimes even Sniper is just based in like this weird fandom idea that once there's a gap bigger than ten years in a fictional cartoon relationship it's Problematic, but w Pyro it's completely based in ableism and the infantilization of people with delusions/schizophrenia and also the association of speech with intelligence or even personhood. They are an adult and they kill people and they communicate with the people around them and clearly make conscious choices and are a person, not a dog

#also bc people keep going 'people infantilize pyro bc pyro is autistic'. no it's not girl it's bc they are delusional #people just don't want to admit that like their comfort character blorbo who they kin has delusions. which is part of the problem #ask #chaoticstanley #tf2 #pyro

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eagledrawsandvibes · 1 year

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Hey y’all, stop infantilizing Jervis Tetch.

This is a problem I’ve seen a lot of with the fandom version of Jervis. People will characterize him as a “pure innocent bean”, and will draw him in a childlike way, like making him the size of a child(I know he’s usually short, but there’s a difference between short and child sized) or rounding him out to be ‘cuter’. I’ve seen people say that Jervis ‘doesn’t know what sex is’ or ‘he’s so innocent and baby’. It’s a really annoying thing that I’ve seen, and it gets worse when Jervis is a neurodiverse character with his schizophrenia.

Infantilizing and woobifiying characters, especially neurodivergent ones, is very problematic. Jervis Tetch is a grown ass man. He mind controls people. He’s an incel towards Alice, or in Gotham he’s downright disgusting towards her. He swears. He’s a Batman rogue. DO NOT WOOBIFY AND INFANTILIZE HIM, ESPECIALLY NOT TO MAKE OTHER CHARACTERS SCARIER OR MORE SERIOUS.

Do not infantilize the Mad Hatter or I will shred you.

(Edit 11/19/22: fixed up some misinformation on this post. I sincerely apologize for them.)

#eagletalks #batman rogues #jervis tetch #mad hatter #discourse #kinda #technically #please rb #hattercrow #check the rbs

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rune-echos · 2 months

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Having Undiagnosed Autism

There are many definitions of autism, and for me, it has always manifested as a difficulty in understanding the world in the same way others do. This is not an official description of autism, but it reflects my personal experience. Although I haven't been officially diagnosed, my therapist believes it's very likely, and the symptoms resonate with me. The more I learn about autism, the more I recognize these patterns in my life, seeing them not as results of immaturity but as aspects of autism. One of the most significant signs for me is stimming; I find myself constantly engaging in this behavior, whether it's with my fingers, heels, arms, or tongue, to increase sensory input or provide a sense of calm. As I write this, I am stimming and rocking back and forth, which brings me comfort.

During my childhood, autism wasn't commonly tested for. Being born in 1979, I grew up in a time when the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, Third Edition (DSM-III) didn't have a clear category for autism as we understand it today. The 1980s saw the introduction of "infantile autism" as a category, differing from the previous DSM-II, which still included criteria for childhood schizophrenia. It's important to note the significant gaps in understanding autism during that era. Some might think that my family or my education failed to provide the support I needed, but the reality is that the awareness and resources simply weren't available. Born in 1979, by 1984, I was just a five-year-old in a world that had yet to fully recognize autism.

As a high school math teacher, I've seen how educational policies have evolved. The legislation that came into effect in the 1990s, specifically the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), significantly improved support for children with autism. However, by the time these changes were implemented, I was already 11 years old and past the early detection stage. Despite the advancements, I was never tested for autism, and it was a similar case for many of my peers. We share experiences of navigating school and life with undiagnosed ADHD or ASD, relying on our parents and communities to do their best in a world that often left us feeling overlooked.

For some context, I was raised in an upper-middle-class family, though financial difficulties around the dot-com crash adjusted our status to more of a lower-middle-class by the time I finished high school in 1997. Despite these challenges, my upbringing was far from harsh. I was never subjected to abuse, always felt loved by my parents, and never lacked for necessities like food. My mother, in particular, was incredibly patient, attentively listening to my endless chatter, an example of her saint-like patience, especially considering she had no resources for handling my unique needs as a child. Being gifted and likely on the autism spectrum presented its own set of challenges, ones we couldn't fully grasp, partly due to the lack of medical insurance in our household. A hurtful remark from my aunt suggested I needed psychological help, which, despite her probable intentions to provoke my mother rather than express genuine concern, highlighted a solitary voice of advocacy for professional intervention in my life.

This background underscores a relatively stable family life, with parents whose marriage remained intact and who continue to be my staunchest supporters well into my adulthood. However, this stability contrasts sharply with my internal experience of drifting through life, often perplexed by the world around me. While I mastered basic social interactions and professional etiquette, deeper understanding eluded me, especially regarding social nuances and forming meaningful friendships. This confusion persisted into adulthood, although I have since developed a more nuanced understanding of people, albeit in a somewhat abstract manner.

Reflecting on this journey, the most poignant aspect for me is not the social confusion but the experience of meltdowns. While I don't recall significant meltdowns from early childhood, and my mother doesn't mention any, the vagaries of memory mean I can't be certain they didn't occur. It's the meltdowns in adulthood, of which I have three vivid memories, that stand out as particularly impactful.

The first incident involved my best friend, Justin, and my mother. To this day, I can't recall what sparked the episode. I do remember feeling incredibly overwhelmed and angry, with an intense urge to throw things or slam my fists, which I resisted due to my upbringing. As the argument, whose subject eludes me, escalated, my anger surged until I stormed off. This may seem like typical teenage behavior, likely amplified by hormones, but reflecting on it as an adult, I recall wondering, especially as I began to calm down, "Why am I so scared?" My body reacted as if I were in mortal danger, an utterly irrational fear that left me confused. I later made amends with Justin and my mother, who graciously accepted my apologies, and I resolved to prevent such outbursts in the future.

The second episode occurred well into adulthood, during an outing with my then-wife, Jeanette, at a county fair. We were about to enter a building for something Jeanette wanted, possibly food, though my memory is unclear. The environment was noisy, which I found distressing, not yet understanding my aversion to crowds and loud sounds. The meltdown happened when I was tasked with purchasing something from a vendor, faced with a long queue and a high-stress situation. When the vendor refused my request, knowing I had to disappoint Jeanette, my stress escalated into a full-blown meltdown. I yelled at the vendor, embarrassing both Jeanette and myself, and expressed things I would never consider doing. Jeanette's prolonged anger towards me added to my own self-reproach and shame. I unfairly blamed her, perceiving her expectations as inflexible, when in reality, I was overwhelmed by sensory overload and perceived failure in not fulfilling the task. This incident, which Jeanette attributed to anger management issues, led me to introspect about controlling my behavior, though it also left me with a deep sense of shame related to my suspected autism.

The third meltdown occurred when I was alone, during my studies to become a teacher. After failing a state teaching exam, I had to retake it, which was a significant financial burden. Due to COVID-19 restrictions, the test was administered online, which clashed with my dual-monitor setup, a detail I was unaware would be an issue. When the testing company refused to refund my fee, blaming the failure on my technical setup, my frustration boiled over. I ended my call with a forceful slam of my phone, a reaction that alarmed even my dog. Reflecting on this, I recall feeling as though I was facing an existential threat, a sensation that bewilderingly subsided as I regained emotional composure, leaving me questioning the rationale behind my actions.

These instances underscore a recurring theme: the numerous intense arguments between my late ex-wife, Jen, and me, often fueled by my emotional responses rather than logical reasoning. I don't imply that the fault was entirely mine; our marriage was fraught with stress, a topic for another discussion. However, these experiences do reflect a pattern of emotional dysregulation, exacerbated by chronic sleep deprivation. The pressures of work, school, and other unpredictable situations would heighten my anxiety and sense of being overwhelmed, leading to moments where rational thought seemed to shut down. In an attempt to manage what I perceived as an anger issue and preserve my marriage, I adopted the maladaptive strategy of silence, avoiding the expression of my concerns.

Access to effective therapy during those times would have been beneficial, but that's a subject for another time. The coping mechanisms I developed involved withdrawing from others, becoming increasingly introverted and isolated. This withdrawal was driven by my confusion over my inability to "think my way out" of emotional turmoil, a skill I was led to believe I possessed as a gifted child.

It's only in the past five to six years that I've begun to understand my autism not as a flaw but as an intrinsic part of who I am. While my family, including my parents and sister, have always supported me and never made me feel deficient, the realization that I don't interact with the world in conventional ways was a challenge to face on my own. The affirmation from my therapist about the likelihood of me being autistic, accompanied by resources to learn more about autism, was a turning point. However, it was my engagement with Educational Psychology during my university studies that truly illuminated the symptoms of autism in a way that resonated with my experiences.

Currently, my focus is on identifying my triggers to either avoid or manage them effectively. The challenge lies in doing this without feeling or appearing incapable of functioning as an adult. The sense of shame I carry has deep roots, stemming from a childhood and adolescence filled with expectations to navigate life as if my cognitive processes mirrored everyone else's, which they do not.

To encapsulate my experiences, being a Gen X-er has provided me with a unique perspective on school and mental health, distinct from what newer generations might encounter. In my schooling years, "special ed" was reserved for those with significant disabilities, clearly segregated from "normal" classes. This binary classification meant that many of us, unaware of our own neurodivergences like depression or emotional dysregulation, remained undiagnosed and misunderstood. This isn't to suggest our challenges were more severe than those faced by students today, such as the fear of school shootings, but rather to highlight the stark differences in awareness and resources available.

In an era overwhelmed by information and, at times, misinformation, the call to "do your own research" has taken on various connotations, often muddled by conspiracy theories and political polarization. However, when it comes to understanding ourselves and our conditions, the abundance of resources at our disposal can be invaluable. We have the tools to learn about ourselves, beyond waiting for external validations or diagnoses. This autonomy in self-discovery and advocacy is what I believe is crucial. In the information age, it's imperative we harness these resources for personal growth and understanding. This is the message I hope to impart: advocate for yourself, delve into research for your own well-being, and make the most of the information age.

#autism awareness #neurodiversity #undiagnosed autism #emotional regulation #self advocacy #mental health #life experiences #personal journey #gen x #coping mechanisms #educational psychology #information age #self discovery #autism spectrum #neurodivergent

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