#infernal translations

[marlequinncos]

I directly translated Astarion's back scars

I'm a language nerd (even when the language is fictional), so I decided to directly translate the sigil that Cazador carved into Astarion's back.

I know you do find out the gist of what the scars mean in-game, but I wanted to translate it letter-by-letter, and then word-by-word.

We know that its a poem written in Infernal, which is the language of devils and the hells. If you translate it from Infernal, you get the following:

"Hoc inferius non iurare per ignis

Haec verba loquor

Et hoc mundo mutat"

As you can see, this is not English; its Latin, which makes sense since its a "magical language". Now, if you translate the Latin to English and fiddle with the grammar a bit, you get something like this:

"This I swear by the fires below

I speak these words

And this changes the world."

Obviously this ties in very closely with Astarion's backstory and I think its very cool that Larian took the time to actually make the scars real text instead of just random texture.

ETA: I want to point out that the "non" in the first Latin sentence doesn't actually make grammatical sense. I think its probably there to look cool/fill in the physical design, because excluding it makes the sentence itself make sense, and its exclusion works in the context of the sigil's purpose. So that's why I omitted it from my translation.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #astarion #larian studios #your local tiefling bard is here to translate infernal #the infernal language also looks cool as hell #almost like the letters are calligraphic ambigrams

[1800duckhotline]

Ok well i can post this. I censored it. My beast with disorders

#doodles #this is her bg3 self sooo #warlock salice #that tattoo in infernal translates to 'Mephisto's lapdog' btw

[tenojan-in-tevinter]

Started playing as The Dark Urge and let me tell u. I love my Dark Urge. He's everything to me.

He's a tiefling Druid and it's just so fun because his brain is constantly like "burn, eviscerate, stab, smash, kill, kill, KILL!"

And he stands there like "uhm... guys? I think it's happening again. I should NOT stab the innocent person, right? Is that right? I'm not sure..."

#bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #the dark urge #bg3 dark urge #I looked up an infernal translator cause I wanted his name to be in infernal #and I landed on Pyrwuwz (don't ask me how to pronounce that) which means 'persist' #I just call him Pyr #he's big and tall and cares just a little too much #does he count as Tav? oh what the heck he's a Tav to me #bg3 tav #baldurs gate 3 tav

[vampiricsheep]

never underestimate my determination to dress like a slut in an rpg

#bg3 #for those wondering - the shop “facemakers” in the lower city region in act 3 sells various underwear and camp clothing and dyes #this is the ''bright flare leather outfit'' (it's topless) layered over one of the harness underwears lmao #cutscene lighting has been very unkind but it's actualy a rich red and brown getup since I dyed it with the ''cinders and ember red'' dye #also um. guild went on a mission to translate the scrawl and it seems to be 1. in infernal and 2. quite slutty LOL

[touchlikethesun]

a few informal thoughts on accent in written media and accent in translation

in light of a recent rb about dialect in haikyuu (which i recommend reading since i'm sorta responding to it but it's not required), i wanted to write down my quite complex thoughts about how "accent" is conveyed in written media, and how "accent" or "dialect" is translated cross-linguistically. it's really not a simple issue...

the biggest issue is that the very notion of an accent or a dialect as most non-linguists conceive of them is rooted in some form of bigotry, because there is almost always an underlying supposition that an "accent"/"dialect" exists in opposition to or as a deviation from the "standard." in written media, what that means is that some characters - often the main characters or the pov characters - have the privileged of their thoughts and words transcribed with standardised spellings and english teacher approved grammar (for the most part), and some characters - often but not always a character from a marginalised background or a character that is some way othered - are transcribed with intentional "errors."

(lmao readmore is deffo warranted this is a long one xx)

i want to give a very clear example of what i'm talking about, and i'm sorry to cite harry potter but it is a treasure trove for this kinda thing. also like... is it any surprise that jkr is particularly egregiously guilty of this... but anyways, look at that following passage from the philosopher's stone and watch the corresponding scene (hopefully the vid starts at the the part i want sorry youtube sucks)

“I'm a what?" gasped Harry. "A wizard, o' course," said Hagrid, sitting back down on the sofa, which groaned and sank even lower, "an' a thumpin' good'un I'd say, once yeh've been trained up a bit. With a mum an' dad like yours, what else would yeh be?”

now to my american ears, both harry and hagrid in this scene have noticable differences in pronunciation compared to how i might say the same lines - there are so many ways their speech might be written differently (from my pov; from a british pov i'm sure they'd have some changes to make in writing down my speech i'll never be free from the wodder boddle jokes).

what i think is particularly interesting tho is that harry says the word "what" twice in the clip, with two different pronunciations. the first time he says it, he actually doesn't pronounce the /t/ at the end of the word (in technical terms, it's an unreleased unvoiced alveolar plosive), and the second time the pronunciation of the /t/ is exaggerated for emphasis (a particularly aspirated unvoiced alveolar plosive). but this difference in the way harry says these two words is not conveyed in the text of hp. harry simply says "what."

i wish i had a more direct example, but a very similar sort of thing is going on when hagrid says the word "and," which he pronounces with an unreleased voiced alveolar plosive - almost exactly the same as harry's first "what" - but instead of "and" being written with standard spelling, jkr opts to replace the "d" with an apostrophe.

it's essentially the same linguistic phenomenon, but because harry is supposed to be middle class and from surrey, his linguistic quirks are not conveyed in the writing because he speaks "proper" english - whereas hagrid's linguistic quirks (in this case it is the same quirk present in harry's speech) are meticulously documented because he is working class and uneducated, and his language is deemed a deviation from the standard. harry's english is unmarked and deemed unaccented because his variety is very close to the enforced standard. and the "standard" is just the speech of the privileged classes. sorry that reasoning reads a bit circular, but it isn't supposed to be logical, it is in fact a very illogical line of reasoning.

a lot of times, authors will justify their choice to transcribe accents because accents are often integral to a character's identity. and i do not disagree that many people take pride in their accents or that accents aren't used as a way to index for group/regional identity. but the issue is, when are accents faithfully being transcribed and when are they assumed?

as an example of this, look at these two passages from another problematic author, cassie clare in the clockwork prince:

"You think I’m a fool,” Molly went on. “This is a trap, innit? You Nephilim catch me selling that sort of stuff, an’ it’s the stick for Old Mol, it is.” “You’re already dead.” Will did his best not to sound irritable. “I don’t know what you think the Clave could do to you now.” “Pah.” Her hollow eyes flamed. “The prisons of the Silent Brothers, beneath the earth, can ’old either the living or the dead; you know that, Shadowhunter." (tid.ii, prolouge)

and

"We’re in the Pyx Chamber,” he said. “Used to be a treasury. Boxes of gold and silver all along the walls.” “A Shadowhunter treasury?” Tessa was thoroughly puzzled. “No, the British royal treasury—thus the thick walls and doors,” said Jem. “But we Shadowhunters have always had access.” He smiled at her expression. “Monarchies down through the ages have tithed to the Nephilim, in secret, to keep their kingdoms safe from demons.” “Not in America,” said Tessa with spirit. “We haven’t got a monarchy—" (tid.ii, chapter 1)

i pulled these passages basically at random so maybe there are lines of dialogue that prove the point better (or disprove my point tho i doubt that, just based on my memory of these books), but in passage one, there are two speakers: an cockney woman from east london and a welsh man from an upper class background. i won't go line by line, but it's essentially like with the difference between harry and hagrid, where old molly has her shibboleths all written down whereas will is written with unquestionably grammatical speech.

in passage two, there are three speakers: the same upper class welshman, a lower middle class american woman, and a british-chinese (likely well off) man. we're told at certain points that will has a welsh accent; we can assume that tessa has an american/new york accent; i don't even know where i'd begin to describe jem's accent but it's probably not welsh or american. however, if you look at their dialogue, there is no way to discern any of these differences. their regional identities are all ostensibly important to them, as they are mentioned many many times in the narrative, but for some reason, it wasn't important enough to even make nods to their different accents? meanwhile, a random side character has their accent carefully laid out, dropped 'h's iconic slang and all? why? why is old mol's accent important enough to faithfully write down, but tessa and will's aren't? it couldn't have anything to do with classism could it...? surely not... (they say, with extreme sarcasm)

now, after all that. you might think my stance is that "accent" should never be written down because it necessarily involves classist/racist/otherwise bigoted judgement on what is marked and what is unmarked speech.

if only it were so easy.

honestly the biggest issue with jkr and clare's choices here is that it's so clearly coming from a place of ignorance and/or prejudice. there's nothing wrong with the way hagrid or old molly speak, and writing systems are inherently messy and inaccurate; there shouldn't be anything wrong with trying to more accurately convey utterances. before writing standardisation, people would just write what they thought a word sounded like, resulting in many if not dozens of accepted spellings for each word (sidenote: i've lost the email but i once spoke with someone that was attempting to reconstruct an older variety of english spoken in MA based on "spelling errors" in books from a small new england printing house it was a very cool project).

also, i am not african american so i can't fully speak to the accuracy of the AAVE, but i've seen discussion of how the AAVE and codeswitching in the hate u give by angie thomas was used to convey nuances in identity, and political realities in the US. the way people speak, the variety of language, and the attitudes they and others have towards that variety, are often extremely important narrative tools. as a black girl that also exists in white-dominated spaces, starr carter is aware of her speech and the changes she makes to fit in with white peers, but that doesn't mean that AAVE isn't a part of her, that it isn't important and valid. wouldn't it also be a bit disrespectful to write the AAVE in the hate u give as if it were standard english, when it is such an important part of starr's identity that it's not? AAVE is just as legitimate as a dialect as the dialect that starr's white peers speak, so on what grounds can anyone insist that it not be faithfully written down for its speakers? and lastly and most importantly, who am i, and who is anyone exterior to a linguistic community, to say how community members ought to write down their own speech/dialogue??

this is just one specific case, but i think when someone is writing from an in-group perspective, that changes things. it changes things immensely. there are so many reasons why a writer might choose to feature distinctive accents in their writing, and i don't think it's possible on their presence alone to make a judgement call on if the accent is being featured respectfully and/or with good reason, or if it is bigoted and unnecessary.

and this brings us to the somehow even more difficult question of what to do with "accents" when translating dialogue. not only do translators have to convey semantic meaning, they have to try to convey pragmatic meaning, cultural meaning, implications, and so on and so on. there is also the very important question of what is the role of a translator? i think that answer will depend on the individual, and unfortunately how one answers will have an impact on how they think translators ought to convey accent.

if the author of a text writes a character's dialogue from a prejudiced point of view, like jkr has done with hagrid, is it the role of the translator to dutifully convey the same (or as close to the same as possible) prejudiced implications in their translation? or does the translator have more of an editorial role, allowing them to convey the meaning in a way that won't carry the same connotations in the new language? does it matter what connotations were intended by the author? is the translator at fault for assumptions made by the audience of their translation due to the choice to convey an accent in one way or another? it is impossible to perfectly convey cultural nuances in accents so do we settle for the closest thing or do we forego it entirely and leave it up to something lost in translation? what about the translators own biases and prejudices, what do we do then?

honestly there are so many questions, and i don't have many answers. i err on the side that says the role of the translator is to be as faithful to the meaning of the text as possible, regardless of the translator's personal feelings about what is being conveyed. if an accent is being used purely for comedic effect, i do not think that the translator has the jurisdiction to say "well i think that's rude and ignorant so i won't include it," but at the same time, i think there should be multiple checks and balances, like sensitivity readers, that ensure that the translation is not introducing more prejudiced elements or pushing things even further than the source text.

what initially got me thinking about this was the post linked above about kansai dialect in haikyuu. the only characters that are written to not speak in tokyo dialect (otherwise considered the standard in japan) are the characters from inarizaki, a school in the kansai region. since they are the only characters to be explicitly written to be speaking a regional dialect, i would say it is probably an important - or considered an important by the mangaka - part of their characterisation. regardless of whether or not there should be cultural connotations to a particular variety is unfortunately not relavent in this instance.

i do think translators should not exaggerate the presence of an accent. from what i can tell from forums online, inarizaki's accents are pronounced but more than understandable, so i am liable to suspect some prejudice or mis-informed opinions when i see panels of the miya twins that are barely intelligible. but in general, i am of the opinion that translators should try and match as closely as they can the connotations of the source text, even if the source text is itself problematic. obviously there is not perfect choice. obviously a translation is never going to perfectly capture the original meaning.

in the end i guess these are two different discussions but i do think there is connection between the two. i understand the upset over egregiously translated accented dialogue, but at the same time, i do not think it is the translator's call entirely whether to translate it or not, however they do have a duty to at least try to match contexts as closely as possible. and as for the presence of accent in written media at all, it is really a case-by-case basis if i think it's being done well and with good cause or if it is just an example of ignorance, and i do think there should be room for nuance in this discussion.

come back next time when i ramble about how people write on the internet is a case study for how accent could be written in fiction lol xx

#some of the mutuals expressed support so i am posting #this is so long and honestly it should be longer #so if anyone has any questions comments or concerns #i am happy to hear them #linguistics #fandom linguistics #harry potter #the infernal devices #the hate u give #haikyuu #sociolinguistics #accents #translation

[muzzleroars]

Whats ur headcannon for ULTRAKILL voices?

i think my ideas are fairly typical but!! since i love talking i’ll go on too long about it anyway :]

v1: being a war machine that wasn't really intended for heavy human interaction, it wasn't given a synthesizer and was never wired for speech. however, it was fascinated by the voices of other machines and it has since gotten itself a voice box for novelty purposes, although it's still not very good at speech - its voice is heavily robotic with significant glitching and pitch issues, and it's only used to convey direct points or to have fun. it highly favors nonverbal communication, including sign language, but it does like being able to produce weird little sounds for its own amusement lol

v2: v2 was given a voice box since it was going to work much closer with the public and while it still sounds distinctly computer-like, it has much better control of its cadence and can put some amount of emotion into its words. it speaks relatively fluidly as well and it enjoys talking A LOT, reproducing speech patterns that are much closer to human (it feels quite proud of this). it's become more accustomed to nonverbal communication as it doesn't want to waste energy speaking, but talking is its preferred method of interaction.

bonus definitely noncanonical round for gabriel: speaks only in the holy tongue, understands but doesn't use the infernal, and doesn't know any human language lmaoooo i like to think heaven and hell have their languages that souls automatically begin to speak upon entry, and gabriel was able to communicate with earthly humans through god's facilitation only. so what i'm saying is. v1 has no idea what he's shouting at it when they first meet. it does not have this language pack and it goes absolutely bananas hearing something it can’t understand bc that means it’s gonna be NEW. DIFFERENT. EXCITING. basically i like the idea that they both have to learn how to understand one another, gabriel reading its expressions and gestures, v1 learning his language :]

#i kno the gabe one is kinda out there BUT i really like it hehe #the machines know the infernal language bc of the hell expeditions... #YEA I'M STRETCHING THINGS #but it's just too funny to me that v1 has. zero understanding of what he's saying at first #and i think it's cute that they can learn to communicate uuuwahhhh #(it did log everything he said and can eventually translate it) #(gabriel's really embarrassed by it) #cake answers

[invinciblerodent]

I grabbed like a dozen shots of Wyll's contract in that scene with Mizora, but the only part of it that I can make out is that the header says "Donuracr" (something like "donation", possibly). The rest are also clearly Infernal runes, they're just way too wobbly for me to translate. :/

Does anyone maybe have a way to get a clearer shot, like from the game files or something? I'm kinda too scared to go poking around in there myself, but I haven't found a translation yet, and I'd love to be able to pick through it!

#baldur's gate 3 #squirrel plays bg3 #wyll ravengard #putting the feelers out just in case #just in case someone doesn't want to spend hours painstakingly character-matching fantasy legal documents #which idk who wouldn't that sounds like a gay old time to me #best i can do is plug it into a latin translator tho #and if it doesn't give us anything legible just post a raw text and hope someone speaks latin #(I plan to learn it myself eventually) #(but that's.... kind of a long process lol) #(watch it be “lorem ipsum” in Infernal) #(if Gale's book is anything to go off of it's not ofc; but it'd be kinda funny)

[nyvirea]

Ever since my friend asked me almost fearfully, while playing Bladur's Gate 3 and talking about Karlach's horns and the inscriptions on them, if I can also read Infernal I've known that I've properly established myself as the 'fandom nerd'.

#the fact I could tell them the descent into avernus module has a translation of Infernal script probably only solidified it #rambling into the abyss #d&d #baldur's gate 3

[fetabathwater]

congrats on the bard-om

#* #oc: alekto #still using that for now ig. #i gave her that infernal tattoo 3 #thats like. DiVNE #i debated the other one which has no translation and is the #equivalent of a poorly translated tattoo that means like beef stew #instead of idk. love. #but yeah idk from skull point #half drow #bard!!!! #wanna be a bard / druid ngl.

[xxlordalexanderxx]

Slams his hand against the counter with one hand while the other is hold Alexander's paw. "Hey you! He said NO pickles!"

“I do believe my good friend here asked politely for none of these, infernal pickles he speaks of. I know not of what these are, but he doesn’t like them, so you will be asked a second time:

Remove these pickles, or every waking moment of your life will be a swirling torrent of pain and misery.

Jejl irmbb aepgj oepg dlmhr ejsl n'a hrgepvr nhr oep"

#opportunistic chicanery #Infernal Inquires ♦️ #|🥩IC🥩| #Translation: NONE SHALL MOURN YOUR DEATH ONCE I'M THROUGH WITH YOU #Gotta show some part of his demonic side after all

[unhonestlymirror]

Me: - i'm not a weaboo

Also me: creates pixiv account

#i love it actually #it translates to redact drawing as 'to rescue' #The more I learn about Japanese culture #the more I experience some kind of infernal horror #but i can't stop #although how it's called when you're interested in Japanese culture but would NEVER wanted to become Japanese?

[grey-eyed-menace]

Urisha Mammons Long List Of Nicknames!

__________________

Elmenhilde 'Hilde' Karnstein - Spooks/Spooky or Menace

Vali Lucifer - Dragon-Boy or White-Terrier

Mittelt Albrecht - Wings

Yuuki Subaru - Scraps/Scrap-Metal

Hanabusa Kuroka - Lucky/Lucky-Gal

Kunugi Sorahiko - Twirls or Sora

Kunugi Ichiru - Mister Doom and Gloom/Mister/Gloom/Gloomy/Doom/Mister Doom

Kunugi Chiasa - Thing Two

Kunugi Misato - Player Three

Kunugi Toshiro - Weirdo No. Four

Azazel 'Friedman' - Fucker Who Owes Me Money or Fizmyr

Shemhazai - Boss/Bossman

Yanagi Seimei - Lover-Boy/Sei

Yanagi Matsuri - Estrangement

Yanagi Sakuya - Takeout-Box

Hirabayshi Atsuko - Shortstack

Hamasaki Kanako - Mistress Pain

Hamasaki Yuuya - String-Bean

Fujiki Nao - Sharpener

Valerie Tepes - Chef

Gasper Vladi - Baby-Slug

Rias Gremory - Red

Himejima Akeno - Bombshell

Toujou Koneko - Lolipops

Toujou Kojimaru - Peppers

Kiba Yuuto - Sword Reject

Utsushimk Ikuo - Kit

Kiritsugu Byakuya - Beastie

Hyoudou Issei - Stranger-Danger

Xenovia Quarta - Streeker

Irina Shido - Angela

Ubuyashiki Nagisa - Numbers

Alice Frost - Queenie

Atsushi Mirai - Rai-Rai

Luka Bianchi - Heart-Attack

Asia Argento - Sweetheart/Sweets

Ikki Ayano - Girlie

Hanabusa Kiyoko - Fake

Ito Yoshiko - Bitchfest

Orlov Sergeyevich Nikolai - Russian-Dude

Kuroyanagi Akira - Bratsy

Kuroyanagi Kii - Mississippi

Kuroyanagi Rin - Miss Scientist

Kuroyanagi Hibiki - Showtunes

Kuroyanagi Takara - Gems

Kuroyanagi Shinobu - Hotshot

Kuroyanagi Etsuko - Knightly

Kuroyanagi Kanon - Lady Idiot

Kuroyanagi Misaki - Frenchie

Kuroyanagi Haruna - Bluetooth

Kuroyanagi Katsumi - Twinkles

Kuroyanagi Yae - Linchpin

Kuroyanagi Sayuri - Meyers

Kuroyanagi Kame - Turtles

Kuroyanahi Sayaka - Fort Knox

Kuroyanagi Miki - Honey-Bunny

Kuroyanagi Natsumi - Orchids

Kuroyanagi Yūka - Motherhen

Kuroyanagi Aoi - Glassware

Kuroyanagi Yuu - Sparrow

Micheal - Pretty-Wannabe

Uriel - Choir Boy

Gabriel - Prissy

Raphael - White Mage

Sirzechs Lucifer - Hero

Serafall Leviathan - Ice Princess

Ajuka Beelzebub - Shut-In

Falbium Asmodeus - Lord Commander

Sylvanus Sitri - Kingmaker

Estella Tobias - Nightmare

Sona Sitri - Queenmaker

Shinra Tsubaki - Mirror-Mirror

Hanakai Momo - Cyclone

Kusaka Reya - Daring

Meguri Tomoe - Rouge

Yura Tsubasa - Lovely

Saji Genshirou - Lapdog

Bennia Orcus - Morningstar

Loup Garou - Chew-Toy

Nimura Ruruko - Legs For Days

Nero Stolas - Tricks

Kushihashi Mikazuki - Bomber

Zyndra Mandrake - Drago

Aven Viktor - Vik

Cao-Cao - Nianzu [He Deserves No Nickname]

#High School DXD #DxD #Highschool DXD #DXD #High School DxD #Highschool DxD #Urisha Mammon #Just something i have planned concerning an OC-SI concerning Elmenhilde and her special brand of insanity. #Essentially just... best friend status bullshit. Yeah? #Vali is the only one who objects to his Nickname but NOT for the reasons you might think. #Azazel takes his in stride #Nicknames #List of Nicknames #I used thst Infernal D&D translator for anyone wondering as to what the fuck Azazel's second nickname means.

[elvhendis]

Somebody translated the infernal runes face tattoo that you can put on your character and the runes on the forhead literally just spell "forhead", the runes on the nose spell "nose" and the runes on the chin say "chin"

#karlach: “who's gonna tell him” #larian you can't keep getting away with this #baldur's gate 3

[venisontransmission]

🤲 - Elena (@infernal-blaze)

Send 🤲 to cradle my character's face in your muse's hands.

He's still giggling as her hands cradle his face.

"Manman, mwen pa yon timoun ankò."

#♛ ;; on air || ic #infernal blaze #//translation: i'm not a child anymore

[cannibalisticskittles]

i swear to god, if i don't find a way to make a wyll + karlach + amity scene happen naturally where they talk about tiefling/fiend stuff (since the fic is from astarion's perspective and a lot of this would likely happen when he's not around) i will write an entirely separate oneshot or something

i think they should bond. i think karlach and amity should help wyll out with his new horns and fangs and how to get used to non-magical darkvision. all three of them speak infernal and they should be allowed to gossip in infernal without anyone else knowing what they're talking about. karlach and amity declare wyll an honorary tiefling and they'll beat up anyone who says an unkind word to wyll about his appearance. or who says anything unkind to him abt anything at all.

they are Important To Me

#after the first time amity says smthing to karlach in infernal astarion renarks that it's rude to speak in front of someone w/o making them #part of it #bc amity and karlach get conspiratorial and he wants to know what they're being sneaky about #and amity concedes #but after that if it happens again #if she and karlach and wyll talk abt smthing in infernal around astarion; if he comes near them mid-conversation #she will apologize for nothing and she will gleefully refuse to translate #if he says its rude again so that she divulges their secrets she just says 'yep. very rude. i'm taking a page out of your book. :)' #he's affronted. but also a tiny bit proud.

[unlimitedhorsepower]

tnb2 had kotetsu and barnaby go like wow thats rough buddy... @ yuri but if ryan had been there too he couldve been this

if youre OOC then make it funny at least. ryan voice sorry about your life or happy for you i wasnt listening. i will cure you

#wow the sexy parody was such a bold move for tnb2. #ryan is the new main character because he is an infernal sex machine (i diagnosed him) #whatever sex beasts keiths ive found in strange doujinshis etc? hes there. #i cant forget this one doujinshi that was kotetsu/keith and it had a sex beast keith.i actually blink really hard when i think about it. HUH #it was also in spanish so i google translated every speech bubble. i just had to know #i just kept becoming progressively more and more bewildered bc i was like KOTETSU/KEITH?!?! and i had to see. but then everything keith said #was so perplexing i had to keep reading. KEITH SAID HES A SEX ADDICT... #keith cant hold an android girls hand but people are out there writing him saying hes a sex addict...and then going at it.......... #thats not my beautiful wife ? thats not my beautiful house ? #people can say just anything on the internet................ #shocked and scared. someone hold my hand