#inglorious basterds imagine

[averagewriter-inthedark]

SFW Alphabet—Donny Donowitz | IB headcanon

Link to my IB masterlist

Requested 📨 yes/no (rules for requests)

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Affection is Donny’s weakness. Whether it be giving or receiving he is always wanting to touch you in some way. This could be his arm around your shoulders while Aldo is debriefing the squad, your head on his shoulder by the campfire, or light kisses to the forehead before a stressful situation.

B = Best Friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Being friends with Donny is basically signing up for chaos. He’s the type who would suggest doing stupid shit and you have to follow in order to ensure he doesn’t kill himself doing it. Laughing to the point of ab cramps is the best way to describe moments with Donny as your bestie.

The friendship started before you two shipped off to France. You were probably the squad’s nurse or high ranking next to him and Aldo that you guys interacted more than with the Basterds. The friendship sorta naturally happened to the point it’s hard to even put a date on when it started.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Physical touch is the mans love language so of course he likes to cuddle. Holding you in his arms with the radio playing while you two doze in and out of sleep is the best feeling in the world. “Doll,” he’ll make grabby hands at you, “c’mere let me hold ya.” He’s the big spoon obviously, but also he likes when he’s laying on his back and you’re curled into his side.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Hell yeah Donny wants to settle down—the literal dream for him is to own a home with you in a nice area where you two get to grow old together. You two would likely run the barber shop or another business and be the couple who give back to the community.

Donny, surprisingly, is a descent cook. Really he specializes in certain dishes that are family recipes. And best believe he can stir up some smacking pasta. You never have to worry about a messy home or kitchen because the Army embedded it into his brain that orderliness and cleanliness is essential…..except on Sundays. That’s y’all’s break day.

E = Ending (if they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He’d rather scalp himself than end things with you. If anyone is gonna break hearts, Donny will sacrifice his own to prevent you from experiencing it.

F = Fiancé(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Being a bachelor was honestly what Donny expected he’d be all his life. Yeah he dated and had flings but never did it occur to him he’d want to settle down and build a future with someone. When you came along it was like he had an awakening. Immediately he saw the house with a yard full of animals, kids running around the premises and a ring on his finger. After you two got engaged Donny wasn’t quick to rush a wedding especially since you two had just returned to the states. He wanted to work as much as he could to give you the wedding of your dreams.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Despite being a giant beefy man that he is, Donny is very gentle. His touch is like feathers and always carefully handled as to not hurt you. Anytime you’re sad or distress his approach with you is cautious. Asking questions like, “Do you need to talk or want to be alone?” Whatever you decide he’ll respect even if it means walking away to give you space.

H = Hugs (do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Are you kidding this man lives and breathes for hugs. He gives the best hugs of the Basterd (Wicki coming a close second) so you take any chance you can to hug him. Donny won’t even hesitate when you ask for one or he’ll simply bring you into an embrace he notices you’re under distress.

I = I love you (how fast do they say the L-word?)

Considering he realized he loved you in the middle of a legit war, Donny probably said it quick. And by quick I mean right when it hit him like a truck. You two had been best friends by that point to he was worried to an extent it would crumble before his eyes. But to his utter surprise you said, “Oh, Donny, are you blind? I’ve been waiting for you to say something forever! I love you too, you rascal.”

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Okay so while he hardly gets jealous when the Basterds or his friends playfully flirt with you, he WILL become a different person when someone he hates tries to swoon you. Of course he’s confident in y’all’s relationship and knows you’d never betray him, he just fucking hates when an asshole attempts to get your attention. “Jealous again, baby?” “NO……maybe.”

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Kisses with Donny are best described as ‘cheeky’. He’ll send you a smirk with eyes reading, ‘Imma kiss you right now,’ before smacking his lips against yours or your cheek before running away. You can’t help but giggle when he does because it’s so adorable and always puts a smile on your face. Your lips and jaw are his favorite places to kiss, however, when he’s feeling frisky Donny will trail his mouth down your neck and collarbones. For him, the Sargent loves to be kissed on the lips as well. He’ll never admit it but Donny is a sucker for when you kiss his chest.

L = Little ones (how are they around children?)

Donny is amazing with children. It’s one of the things you love about him. Even if you two do not plan to have children he loves to spend time with nieces/nephews and I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s the type to teach the kids in your neighborhood how to play baseball. He’d also offer discount and free haircuts to the children and teens who cannot afford one. If you do have/adopt kids, then expect Donny to be the best father ever. Always attending their school functions and sport games (most likely baseball) and taking your kids to the zoo, museum, Red Sox games, etc. He is their #1 supporter and will do whatever possible to make them happy.

M = Morning (how are mornings spent with them?)

During the war y’all’s mornings started bright and early at the ass crack of dawn. Donny would be the first one up considering he was in charge of getting the Basterds into formation, but he’d make sure to give you a kiss on the head as a good morning before leaving. When there is the rare chance of staying in an inn or motel then he’s all over you with cuddles and waking you up with kisses.

Back home in the states Donny is the type who will put the coffee on the pot as soon as he wakes up to get you a coffee before your eyes open. Then if he has time he’ll run to the cafe by the corner of your street to get your favorite breakfast. “Is that what I think it is?” “Only the best for my baby this fine Sunday morning.”

N = Night (how are nights spent with them?)

I can see Donny as a night owl. Really it was a result of the late nights overseas where he had to keep watch of the camp. The habit carried over when he returned home in which he would stay up listening to the radio or reading a book. You’d have to force him to come to bed—-often making him a warm cup of milk or run a bath. But once his head hit the pillow mans is out like a light and holding you to his chest.

#donny donowitz #donny donowitz x y/n #donny donowitz headcanon #donny donowitz x reader #donny donowitz imagine #Eli Roth #inglorious basterds fanfiction #inglourious basterds #inglorious basterds headcanon #inglorious basterds imagine #inglorious basterds x reader #inglourious basterds headcanons #quentin tarantino characters

[michelle-is-writing]

Relax, Donny Donowitz

I tried my best with German in this imagine as I know a little (just basics), so if there are any corrections that need to be made, please message me! Thank you!

Warning: violence, Nazis, death, brutality with a bat, gunfire, ending is a bit NSFW 

Word count: 2.1k~

For a week, the basterds had nothing to do. The very person they were trying to find had seemingly gone on holiday, and no information on where he had travelled to was available to us. As soon as he left, it seemed as if the world itself had calmed down. The men were finally able to write and send out their letters to their mothers and loved ones at home while others were left to rest and catch up on what was going on in the world that didn't involve the ongoing war or guns.

Specifically, Donny enjoyed the first few days of freedom from his duties as we were all able to stay at a hostel for that week and rest. The hostel was run by a kind man who, come to find, also hated the current ongoing regime in his home country. Because of this, he was more than willing to help the basterds in our mission.

Donny and I both got to have breakfast with each other every morning, and later on, we had the ability to get lost in each other in nothing but the bed sheets and moonlight without the possibility of anyone walking in or complaining. In a way, we got to finally act like a normal couple for once in a very long time. It was just us to ourselves, and we weren't complaining.

However, on the fifth day of rest, Donny seemed tense, almost irritated. He woke up, sat at the breakfast table, and drank coffee with me while I jotted down status reports on the missions we completed. Being the Basterd's (I guess you could say) secretary, it was my job to do such things. I wrote down information about soldiers and their lives, mission statuses and details, and even small facts about the Basterds themselves. Being the fiancé of the infamous "Bear Jew," my job was mildly easy as my source of information was usually right beside me when given the chance.

For Donny, on the other hand, his work mostly entailed beating the enemies to a pulp with his bat in hand or just simply shooting them. It was a way for him to release any fury and anger he held, while at the same time, protect his country and everyone involved in it. The opposing side was always his target, and if he were to see any of them at any time, he would surely pull back on his trigger and release the fire held within him.

"Donny, what's the matter?" I ask him, looking up from my papers to stare at the handsome man in front of me. In his usual attire, he's hot, but when he's dressed in nothing but a simple pair of cotton pants, the matching button-up top thrown off long ago, he looks absolutely delectable.

"I work too much," he simply answers, staring down at his cup of coffee, not an ounce of sugar or cream in the dark liquid. "I'm so used ta missions and fighting that... I kinda forgot how ta relax," he adds on with a small laugh as he turns his attention to look at me.

Smiling, I ponder through my thoughts for a few seconds before standing from the table and walking over to him. As soon as I’m within arms length of Donny, he pulls me close and sits me in his lap where he immediately begins pressing feather-like kisses against the exposed skin of my arm while his rough hands dance across my bare thighs. Just like his shirt, my pants had been long forgotten about as well.

"What if we had some fun today?" I suggest, instantly receiving Donny's eager lips on my neck. Before he can fully begin in his actions, I stop him with my hand on his head and a smile on my lips. "Not that type of fun," I quickly reiterate, gaining a groan of protest from the man.

"What if we went to a field and played... baseball?" I ask him, looking down to see him with an eyebrow raised questionably.

"Baseball?" He repeats the word in a question-like voice. "I haven't played that since we were in Boston," A few seconds pass before he smiles. "Although, I guess it would fun playing with you."

Almost immediately, he stands from his chair with me still in his arms. I can't help but giggle and wrap my arms around his neck even tighter, just as he likes it. I have to enjoy these moments with Donny because I never know when I'll be able to repeat them, or if I’ll get them again. Sometimes, missions can draw on from one week to one month, and during that time, the feeling of loneliness is inevitable. When you're so used to someone's warm arms around you all the time, you can't help but yearn for that when they're away.

Getting dressed was a hassle with Donny trying to kiss me at any chance he got, but I guess it isn't any different from what he's been doing for the past few years. Before leaving, we gathered his bat (free of any enemy blood, of course) and a ball the hostel keeper had lying around. We then traveled out to a field not too far from the inn, no one else out in the field despite the sun being out and the weather pleasant. I wasn’t going to complain, however; that leaves it all to Donny and me to enjoy ourselves.

Smiling at the dark haired man, I pitch the ball to him which he skillfully hits, letting him score a home-run while I run to get the ball, ultimately running out of air as I run back. "Woo-hoo!" Donny shouts, victoriously throwing his arms in the air as he stands at the base. "Still got it, baby, yeah!"

"Oh, quiet down!" I tease him, hunching over to catch my breath as he quickly heads over to where I stand. Donny merely grins at my comment before I raise back up, still a bit out of breath. Placing my hands on my hips, I watch as Donny's smile turns into a focused frown, his eyes cast toward the forest behind me. Turning my head, I don't see anything, but my ears do catch something.

"Do you hear that?" Donny asks, receiving a nod back from me. Without a second thought, he takes my hand in his before walking toward that secluded part of the woods, not forgetting to grab his bat he dropped when he first hit the ball. Walking closer to the tall trees, I pick up more on what the noise is. It's people talking to each other in another language.

"Is that German?" Donny asks me, receiving another nod. Stopping beside a big pine, I try to listen in on the conversation. "Can you understand it?" He whispers.

"I think," I answer him. Aside from Hugo, I also serve as a translator to the Basterds for German having learned it in my youth. Leaning my head closer to sounds, I can hear the conversation more, but only bits and pieces.

"Zwei Leute,"

"Two people," I say the translation.

"Juden,"

"Jewish,"

"Feuer… Haus,"

"Fire... house,"

My eyes widening, I look back at Donny. "I think someone's talking about setting a house on fire," I tell him, his widening just like mine before he crawls through the forest with me beside him. Taking slow and quiet steps, we try to be as silent as possible as we soon find the owners of the voices. Sure enough, the two men sharing the conversation are decked out in Nazi attire, the bands on their arms giving them away immediately. As the two smoke cigars, they point out toward the part of the field that leads out to the civilian life. Looking around the rest of the woods, I don't see anyone else, and since the sun is bright out today, I'm pretty confident that the two are by themselves.

"When I say three, toss the ball in the air," Donny whispers, successfully avoiding gaining attention from the two enemies. Walking a few steps behind me, he swings his bat low to the ground as if he were readying it. "Stay there," He tells me, before counting down. "One... two... three," With the last number, emitting from his lips, he whistles loudly as I toss the ball into the air.

Right as both of the nazis turn to look at us, Donny swings his bat at the ball, successfully hitting the ball and making it fly into one of the Nazi's in the head. While the first nazi stumbles backward, now unconscious, the second one reaches for his gun, but he's too slow as Donny wastes no time in running up and hitting the man in the stomach before spinning and hitting him in the back of his head with the wooden instrument. Just like his fellow cretin, he falls to the ground as well, except in his case, his heart stops beating and body convulses in response to Donny's harsh hit.

Giving him one more hit on the ground, Donny moves on to the other man, turning him on his back so he can face him. Ripping the gun from the man's side, Donny tosses it over to me where I grab it and ready it, just in case. Donny then aggressively slaps the man repeatedly who wakes up on the fifth hit with a bloody nose.

"Wake up, sleepy head!" Donny taunts, the Bear Jew coming out in full force. The man holds his hands up to protect himself, making Donny laugh. "Give us your mission details, you piece of shit," Donny says to the man, only to receive a weird look. He must not speak English.

Walking up to the two, I get on the same level as Donny before holding the tip of the welrod to the man's neck, his eyes flashing in fear in response to a gun he stole being pressed against his neck. "Gib uns die stadtplan, oder wir schneiden deine kopf ab," I tell the man, speaking full German.

Eyes wide, the man shakily reaches down and takes out a piece of paper, but I can tell that isn't the map. Cocking the gun, I aim it toward his knee cap without looking and shoot, the only sound following being the man's cry of pain thanks to the gun's built-in silencer.

"Der echte eins," I demand, seeing Donny in the corner of my eye smirking.

"Kapitulation, kapitulation!" The man cries out, pulling another paper out of his jacket pocket. Yanking it from the man's grasp, I flip it open and see the familiar cities around Belgium, the Imperial Eagle stamped onto specific locations such as public buildings and flats.

"Thank you," I mutter, walking backward as I stare at the map more. Over the top of the page, my eyes catch Donny quickly break back into his badass persona before beating the nazi's face to a pulp with each brutal swing of his bat. Once he's done, he wipes the blood from his face and walks over to me where he peers down at the piece of paper in my hands.

"Can't bring you anywhere," I joke, handing him the map to look over. Smiling, I press a kiss against his lips, quickly receiving one back before he pulls me close to him. "Work just seems to follow you."

"You're the one who finds all'ar missions, baby," He responds, smirking as he kisses my cheek. "And it looks like you found the rest of 'em for all of Belgium," With the discovery, Donny seems happy and almost proud in a way. Looking back at the map with him, I find myself sighing a little. Our long weekend is over, but at the same time, the Basterds are closer to their victory, and Donny's got his mojo back.

“Just warn me next time you decide to shoot a man in front of me.” Donny’s voice breaks me away the map and over to him as he now stands behind me. I raise an eyebrow at him curiously, but he simply continues smirking before leaning his face into my neck and pressing his hips into mine, something hard and eager poking into my back. “Almost fucked you right here in the forest, babe,” I gasp, just in time for him to bite at my neck harshly. “You really have no fucking clue.”

Translations :

Gib uns die stadtplan, oder wir schneiden deine kopf ab,

Give us the map, or we rip your head off,

Der echte eins,

The real one,

Kapitulation, kapitulation!

Surrender, surrender!

Welrod: Welrod was a European gun made during the Second World War

#donny donowitz #Donny donowitz x reader #donny donowitz imagine #donny donowitz imagines #donny donowitz fanfiction #eli roth #eli roth x reader #eli roth imagines #eli roth imagine #inglorious basterds #inglorious basterds x reader #inglorious basterds imagines #inglorious basterds imagine

[mlmxreader]

An Abandoned Hotel | Hugo Stiglitz x gn!reader

@inlovewithhugostiglitz asked: okay so i had an idea for a fic,, so it's hugo stiglitz x gn! reader with the prompt "you can sleep in my bed, it's fine" and they end up cuddling and the basterds find them, if u do this tysm 😭

summary: you and Hugo are impossible to keep apart.

tws: swearing

support your fanfic writers by reblogging what you read & enjoy

An abandoned hotel in the middle of absolutely nowhere, only a handful of rooms were left untouched by the recent Nazi bombings, destroying countless homes and businesses, forcing people to flee or risk their lives being taken from them in a cruel and inhumane manner; the alleyways smelled of death and sadness.

No birds sang in the trees nearby, no snakes slithered in the grass, even spiders and woodlice seemed non-existent as you and the Basterds made your way through the hotel, hearts pounding and breath shaky; in the jaws of death just waiting for the mouth to snap shut and consume you all, hoping that at the very least, if you were to be swallowed by death itself, then maybe at least you could attempt to make it worth something, anything. Kill a few Nazis, at least. 

The world needed less Nazis. Bastard cunts deserved to die. 

But you made it in the end, and Aldo decided to tell everyone where they should sleep for the night; you couldn’t say you were surprised when he told you that you were bunking up with Hugo. The two of you had been dating for months, never went anywhere without the other - even if it was something small, like stopping to tie a shoelace, you were not able to be separated. Never.

You and Hugo couldn’t be separated even if Aldo had tried to, so it was only natural that he had assigned you to the same room; it wasn’t that bad, although it was impossibly cold, and you found yourself shivering as you put down your bag by the door, right next to his. Hugo didn’t seem to mind the cold, simply pulling back the scratchy and worn blanket, beating off the bits of debris and ash that had stuck to it, not even thinking as he left it there, turning to you with a slight frown. 

“Nicht perfekt, aber… nich schlecht,” he sounded like he was going to start apologising for it. 

You shook your head, licking your lips as you sighed and took a look at the blanket for a moment. “It’s fine - as long as it’s not a lumpy rock.”

Hugo dared to crack a small smile as he nodded curtly. “You can sleep in my bed, it’s fine.”

You couldn’t stop the laugh that left you, waiting for him to get beneath the blanket before you copied; the bed was too small for you to actually lie side by side, the way that you preferred, and as you were the last to get into it, you took the initiative. Moving around until you could lie on top of him, a little uncomfortable but not as bad as you had been before; it was, at least, bearable. You supposed that you could sleep like that.

“Is this comfortable enough for you?”

Hugo nodded, wrapping his arms around you lazily as he let out a quiet yawn; if he was honest, he would have slept anywhere and on anything so long as he had you there with him. It helped him much more than he could say, to have you near and to feel you there with him, it helped him a lot more than he was willing to admit; being able to calm down when he had nightmares, just by listening to your breath and feeling it against his skin. Being able to know that you were right there with him at all times, it helped.

He didn’t tell you, though, didn’t feel the need to as he knew somehow that you knew anyway, and he didn’t need to explain it much more than that; he was, however, still quite happy to snuggle into you and to feel you against him. A sense of somewhat normalcy washing over him as he sighed and allowed himself to relax a little bit; maybe you weren’t in a normal, domestic situation, but Hugo was comforted by the thought that, once the war was over, you would be doing this every night - in an actual, real, bed. 

You snuggled into him a little further, yawning against him as you closed your eyes and started to drift off, starting to actually doze off; depending entirely on who was on top, or who was nearest the exist, you and Hugo almost took turns to fall asleep first, as you didn’t want the other to feel unsafe or to feel as if they needed to stay up. Tonight, evidently, was your turn to drift off last, as you were on top this time, and you needed to stay awake for just a few moments longer. But once you were certain that Hugo was asleep, you finally let yourself go, going limp against him as you snuggled in as much as you could, holding onto him tightly. 

However, while you and Hugo were asleep, sound and away with the sweet clouds and the soft embrace of one another, the Basterds had taken a look around to see if they could find anything of worth - food, especially, was on their minds as they snooped and searched. It was Wicki and Donny and Aldo who were the ones to discover you and Hugo, looking amongst themselves for a moment; they silently debated who would be the one to say anything.

“Not me,” Donny shook his head. “I ain’t fuckin’ wakin’ up Hugo and (y/n).”

“I don’t want to either,” Wicki took a step towards the door. “(y/n) nearly killed me last time I woke Hugo up.”

Aldo put his hands on his lips as he sighed. “Damn inseparable, them two… but I don’t wanna wake ‘em neither.”

“I mean, they’re sound asleep,” Donny pointed out. “Maybe it’s best we leave ‘em.”

Wicki nodded in agreement. “It is best we leave them… we should go to the next room.”

Aldo took a look at you and Hugo, nodding in approval; he was always happy for you and Hugo, could never deny it, so he turned on his heel and moved towards the door. “Ar’ight, we’ll wake ‘em in the mornin’.”

#mlem writes #hugo stiglitz x reader #hugo stiglitz imagine #hugo stiglitz #inglourious basterds x reader #inglourious basterds imagine #Inglourious Basterds #inglorious basterds x reader #inglorious basterds imagine #inglorious basterds

[hanslandassecretgirl]

NSWF Alphabet with Hans Landa

....................................

A=Aftercare: he would absolutely take a care of you, he would treat you like a princess. He would give kisses on your hand,(he knows when he kisses your hand, you will blush and loves to see it)

B=Body part: His fav part on his body is his hands, i'm telling you girl those hands are BIG. But his fav part on yours is probably your eyes, he loves to look at your eyes while he fucks the shit out of you.

C=Cum: He would just cum on your stomach, or if you want him to cum on your face, he would do it. (But only with your permission)

D=Dirty Secret: Loves to control you. If you disobey he will give you a punishment. He'll spank your little ass (*wink*)

E=Experience: Look hes an old guy,but he's very well experienced, he knows how to satisfy a woman.

F=Favourite position

He would get on top of you, and grab your neck gently. He would never hurt you, for him you are so innocent and he doesnt want to break you/hurt you.

(He would get on top of you and yk)

G=Goofy: He's serious af. His first mission is to make you cum and make you feel good.

H=Hair: Since he's old he doesnt really care about it, but if you ask him to shave it down. He would, only for you.

I=Intimacy: I think he would be a romantic person, also if you are a virgin he would be a romantic and a gentle one. He would kiss every part of your body your feet too. (I'll explain this ;) )

J=Jack off: well, since he met you he doesnt really do it, maybe once when you werent home, he was so bored at that moment so he did it and thought about your perfect hands on his cock

K=Kink: OH YES BABY THIS MAN IS KINKYY. Bondage,knife, feet? This man is into it. He would love to tie you up to the bed, and would test you with his knife, he would put the knife on your body, but he would never harm you with it. As i said he would kiss every part of your body, this man would lick and kiss your feet. (I JUST KNOW BRO HAS A FEET FETISH its common tho many people has)

L=Location: Only the bedroom.

M=Motivation: He gets turned on, when you moan his name. Or when you put on his hat ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

N=NO: he would never force things on you.

O=Oral: He loves to give you oral, he knows how to use that tongue on your little clit. But he also loves when you give him a blow job, with your mouth or with you little soft hands .

P=Pace: Oh honey if you want this man to drive you crazy, he would go absolutely fast and rough. ;)

Q=Quickie: Well, he would go really faster and faster to make you cum but also slow and sensual.

R=Risk:I dont think Hans would take risks.

S=Stamina: Well, we know hes old, BUT he would make you cum in a second, he knows how to satiesfy a woman, also he would suprise you with his stamina, 3 rounds? Or maybe even more who knows ;)

Toy: Nah, he doesnt own any toys. He has his hands, his cock and his mouth isnt that enough?

U=Unfair:This man is such a teaser, at dinner he would touch your thighs while he would talk to the others. Like nothing happend.

V=Volume: He's actually quiet, but you love hearing his little whimpers, how much he loves you and how much he's about to cum.

W=Wild Card: Him wearing his unifrom? Oh baby he loves wearing it while hes fucking you, he feels powerful in it. (#uniformkink )

X=X-ray: I'm telling you honey what you would see wouldnt dissapoint you. Its big but still perfect, you can handle it

Y=Yearing: Well, he wants to have sex with you so much, he feels young again but he loves it when you search for his hand for some touch.

Z=ZZZ:He's not the first one to fall asleep fast, he'll wait for you to fall asleep, he would kiss your forehead and play with your hair. (He loves you really)

......................................................................

I hope you guys love it, its my first time writing in english. Jeez im so scared rn. But i hope you all love it. ^^ if i did some misspelling i apologize for it and with my grammar too. <3

#inglorious basterds imagine #hanslanda #inglorious basterds

[derepentealgo]

#meme #movie #inglorious basterds imagine #Tarantino

[ptok]

Hans Landa Cafeteria Dream part 2

(before reading this, please read Part 1: https://www.tumblr.com/ptok/726747001890488320/hans-landa-cafeteria-dream-part-1)

Then the spectator did not see but knew that Hans returned to the cafeteria and was maybe somewhere at the back of the building, in some corridor. The camera (or whatever it was) showed that there was another woman in the cafeteria room on the first floor. In comparison with the ‘waiting and wandering’ woman, this one was dark-haired, slimmer, and rather taller; she also had some vibe of the ‘emo’ style (she was an ideal personification of the popular ‘Wojak meme’ character).

She was sitting at the table which was close to the fictionally removed wall, and the opposite chair has not been taken yet. Closer to the bar, the waiter was calmly standing and cleaning some plates. I supposed right away that the emo woman was also waiting for Hans, and I thought he had a date also with her, as the song might have suggested, but after a while I realized there is no evidence that she is also his date. All these thoughts of mine were connected with the fact that I started to sympathize with the blond-haired ‘impatient’ woman because, even if the ‘emo’ one has not been the date, the emo woman apparently had a fixed appointment with Hans, while the blond-haired woman in A-type skirt had not, despite her wishes.

Then, although as a spectator I only had a glimpse of Hans coming into the first-floor part of the cafeteria, I knew that the meeting between him and the emo woman has begun. Then the camera presented that the blond-haired woman was nervously, but still gently knocking on the cafeteria’s transparent (now real) door on the ground floor. No one was listening to her. All persons – the waiter, Hans Landa, and the emo woman – were on the first floor, in the cafeteria room. Then I realized what was the goal of the woman: she loved Hans but at the same time, for the sake of her dignity, she could not dare to present herself as so desperate by going straightforwardly to the first floor and making her appearance known to Hans during his other meeting (or even during his solitary cup of coffee or milk 🥛). ‘That might destroy everything!’ – I caught her thought. I saw that on the ground floor, just before the cafeteria’s entrance, the woman put her shoes off and ran into the building’s interior, then went up the carpeted stairs barefoot (yes, my mind made a strange reference to the shoe scene with Bridget). Then I slipped again into the movie universe. I was in the first floor’s corridor which was not visible from the front perspective. I saw the blond-haired woman reclining under the door to the cafeteria room, knocking gently at the lower part of the door, very close to the floor. Then my mind was like giving thumbs up to this woman: she was very clever, she managed to give some mysterious hint of her appearance by thought-provoking ghost-like knocking, while putting her elegant shoes off, and therefore lack of the heels’ sound, combined with the sneaking way of moving, did not allow Hans and others to think that there is someone behind the door, and that this is a woman on her heels, and that this is, finally, that specific woman. But I also started to fear whether she would manage to creep out from the first floor on time, before someone intrigued opens the door. Then the waiter, or even Hans himself, would see her in this non-elegant position, and the emo woman would for sure ridicule her. Another fear of mine was whether the shoes would still be waiting for her the way she left it before cafeteria’s entry. But I did not make to know answers to these questions as this thread of my dream has ended.

#hans landa imagine #hans landa #inglorious basterds #inglorious basterds imagine #bękarty wojny #quentin tarantino #tarantino fan fiction

[melodyburst]

They should make a movie that's in the "Good Guys infiltrate the Nazis in WW2" movie like some of the classics and the Nazis keeps having to find out who is actually a Allied spy posing as a Nazi and they kill them

but then it turns out that there's no spies in the movie and it's just 2 hours of Nazis being like "haha... you uzed ze wrong name for zis german beer stein" and they shoot the guy and then someone's like "oh that's what they call it locally in some rural parts of Deutschland" because like HONESTLY it's an easy mistake to make

#inglorious basterds #movie #im not tagging this as anything else can you imagine

[stupidfuckingwindow]

I want an entire series about Landa on Nantucket Island getting tomatoes thrown at his house and being banned from Fast Food places when in search of work.

#hans landa #hans landa imagine #inglorious basterds (2009) #inglorious basterds #inglourious basterds #christoph waltz #quentin tarantino

[unculturedswine-101]

Hans Landa fic rec Masterlist

Hey guys! I hope you are all doing well, sorry I’ve been inactive life has been so busy! Anyways linked below are my favourite Hans Landa fics (all are smut hehe). Please give them (and the writers) lots of love!

Writers from tumblr: @headoverhiddles @wingsy-keeper-of-songs

https://headoverhiddles.tumblr.com/post/175296308943/verf%C3%BChrung-hans-landa-x-reader-smut

https://headoverhiddles.tumblr.com/post/180536307223/geheimnisse-hans-landa-x-reader-smut

https://headoverhiddles.tumblr.com/post/184253007799/meister-hans-landa-x-reader-smut

https://wingsy-keeper-of-songs.tumblr.com/post/171882546983/katzchen

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22798186/chapters/54482155

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22798186/chapters/76507031#workskin

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24481867

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23284915/chapters/55764865

#christoph waltz #quentin tarantino #hans landa #inglorious basterds #christoph waltz imagines #christoph waltz x reader #hans landa imagines #hans landa x reader #thebasterds #aldo raine

[averagewriter-inthedark]

Can We Cuddle? 🙈 | How the Basterds ask you to cuddle | IB Headcanon

Link to my IB masterlist

Requested by this anon ♥��� Rules for requests

Lt. Aldo Raine

Aldo is the type of main who rarely gets time to rest. Being in the middle of the woods in a war while hunting krauts means you two lack privacy or a nice warm bed. But there are days where Aldo gets so exhausted and a flicker of peace while the other basterds are occupied and takes advantage of it.

“Can we cuddle, darlin’?” He’ll simply ask, throwing aside his pack and coming to lay beside you. He pretty much already has his arm wrapped around you and nuzzling his way into your neck, sighing at the warmth it provides. The ground is hard and he’ll wake up with a sore ass and back, but at least he gets time to hold you in his arms.

You’ve already got a grin on your face, leaning into him while securing your arm around to play with his hair, saying, “Of course, love. Though, you already got yourself comfortable.”

“maybe I knew you’d say yes,” he smirks, kissing your jaw and cozying up to you. “We only got a short amount a time ‘fore those fools ruin it. Let’s make the most of it.”

Sgt. Donny Donowitz

Donny probably doesn’t even ask honestly. The man will just plop his happy ass on top of you, causing a groan followed by a laugh to escape your mouth. If y’all are at an inn/motel with the rare occasion of having a bed, Donny doesn’t hesitate to jump on top of you.“What do you want, mister?” His arms fall to your sides, resting his head on your chest while looking up at you with a cheeky smile. You’re own smile forms, knowing what it is he wants.

“Can we cuddle, doll?” The innocent question has your face soften, immediately shifting to make yourself more comfortable as your arms go to cradle him. “Do you even have to ask?” He chuckles at your response, grinning in victory as he shuffles more up your body so he wasn’t fully on top of you but against your side. It’s rare you two get to cuddle, but Donny loves anytime you do. The Basterds used to hollar and tease in the beginning of y’all’s relationship, before stopping when Donny threatened to use his bat on them.

“This is nice. Ain’t it, doll?” He hums in content, feeling you hold him. Usually he’s the bigger spoon and likes to hold you, but on these types of moments he loves just laying on top of you and feeling the gentle thump of your heart against his ear. You smile and lean down to kiss his head, “It’s the thing I look forward to most when I’m with you, Donny.”

Cpl. Wilhelm Wicki

Ever the gentlemen, Wicki would politely ask you to cuddle. He probably would pop the question when he sees you in distress or in dire need of rest. Taking your blankets and pack, Wicki sets up a little spot by the fire after you two have first watch and gesture for you to join him.

“What’s this,” you can’t help but ask, small smiling in the corner of your lips when you see him lay down and open his arms. “Lay with me, Schatzi. You need rest and I wanna hold you tonight if you don’t mind.” Biting your lip, you ease down and allow him to pull you into the position where his chest is to your back, the two of you facing the fire at a safe distance where you feel the heat but not close enough where it’s a hazard. “Don’t mind if I do, Corporal,” you then tease how out of character it is for him. Usually it’s you asking him to cuddle, not the other way around.

“With all the hell we see, Y/n, having a little bit of peace with you is what I strive for,” fingers brush through your hair, Wicki kissing the side of your head as sleep threatens to take over you. “Sleep now, liebling, I’ll be here when you wake.”

Sgt. Hugo Stiglitz

Hugo is not one with words. So as you can imagine he’d likely not directly ask you to cuddle but instead give a motion with his hands or his body language gives away what he wants. You two would be bunked together—thanks to Aldo—when y’all get the chance to be at an inn while doing recon in downtown Paris. Having been…something, for sometime you two know each other’s boundaries with physical touch still being difficult for Hugo. He trusts you and knows he feels something strong for you, but he still has trouble letting you in.

This particular night however, was a hard day for both of you and you both were exhausted to the point you dropped onto the bed beside him before being taken aback by the look he was giving you. “You okay, Hugo?” You ask, sitting up a bit to decipher why he was giving you that look. When he glances down at the bed, shifting a bit closer he looks up at you with nervousness. It clicks for you, “Did you…do you want me to move closer?”

When he nods you slowly draw forward, watching his arms open and letting you fall into them. Tucking your head in his neck, you feel Hugo wrap his arms around you, stiff and unsure. It’s only when you relax against him that Hugo relaxes as well, the both of you falling asleep shortly after, a small smile painting your face.

Private Smithson Utivich

Smitty is nervous around you even after you two have established your relationship. Getting alone time gets him flustered and there are times where the opportunity arises to cuddle with you and it still makes his palms sweaty. You find it adorable, however, and sometimes tease him by saying, “All you have to do is ask, Smitty. You know I’ll say yes.”

It just makes him go red, stuttering out, “Can—can we cuddle a bit? If you don’t mind—I-I,” you cut him off with a kiss to the cheek, curling up to him. His body head could be felt through his clothes, making you nuzzle up to Smiitty as he awkwardly brings his arms around you. “Better, bud?”

“Yeah,” he sighs with a crooked smile, happy with the feeling of you in his arms. Smitty can’t help but love the moments where you two get to relax and just talk about life while cuddling. It makes him feel at home, “So much better.”

#inglorious basterds imagine #inglorious basterds #inglorious basterds headcanon #inglorious basterds x reader #donny donowitz x reader #donny donowitz #donny donowitz headcanon #aldo raine x reader #aldo raine headcanon #aldo raine #wilhelm wicki x reader #wilhelm wicki headcanon #wilhelm wicki #hugo stiglitz x reader #hugo stiglitz headcanon #hugo stiglitz #smithson utivich #smithson utivich headcanon

[michelle-is-writing]

Early Mornings, Donny Donowitz

Word Count: 1.2k~

A hostel, a safe zone; for once, we could sleep in just a little and not worry about people finding us in the forest. The only problem with that is my own mind, my constant thoughts plaguing my head enough to wake me up way before Donny even begins to open his eyes.

It was still dark outside when I found myself staring out of the room’s window, the stars starting to disappear as dawn slowly crept up. Despite Donny’s body curled behind me, heat constantly radiating off of his body, I still found myself sitting up in bed before turning to face the window. A small groan left Donny’s sleeping mouth when I did so, but he didn’t mind my absence for too long as he quickly became comfortable rolling onto his stomach to take up my mostly empty side. This left me sitting up in front of the window, my thoughts never ceasing as the stars slowly did in front of me.

How could I get one night that I could actually enjoy and sleep peacefully, only to wake up super early? Donny would chastise me on it, telling me to just let him hold me and I’d go back to sleep instantly. But it’s not that easy.

Meanwhile, worries and fears surround me as I ponder about what comes next. Where’s the next place we will keep our camp at, and what country will we be in? Who will be the next people we find - good or bad? Those who seek refuge and peace, or those who seek to destroy those very things? Donny doesn’t worry about these things, he never does. He handles everything that comes his way; unfortunately, that leaves me to be the one that worries for the both of us. He always comforts me, though; always one to remind me worrying gets neither of us anywhere.

“Babydoll…” a deep voice pipes up beside me, groggy with sleep. “Why aren’t you lying down?” Donny asks, moving up in the bed to take me back into his arms. I instantly smile as I resume feeling the heat radiating off his body, basking in the contrast from the cold room as Donny waits for my answer patiently.

“I’ve just been thinkin’,” I tell him, leaning my head back against his chest as he pulls my legs back onto the bed. In response to my words, Donny merely chuckles, a sleepy, but still sarcastic remark leaving his lips afterward.

“A dangerous activity for you, babe,” Donny chides, laughing as I playfully smack his chest afterward. However, my smile shows through my facade, and I’m left to stare up at Donny in the silence of the night. His eyes meet mine in response, never flickering away from me as he continues. “I know what it means when you’re sittin’ up at four in the morning, and I definitely know that worried look on your face,” Donny points out, making me realize I probably shouldn’t have sat up in bed. Of course that would wake him up eventually.

Before I can apologize, Donny stops my stuttering with his lips by pressing them against mine, his arms moving to circle around me and pull on top of him as he lies in the middle of the bed. As he does so, my hands fly to his strong arms, my fingertips dancing over the soft skin there covering up strong muscles. The same muscles that I love to feel pick me up and hold me like I’m the most precious thing in the world, as well as other things too.

Pulling away to breathe, I pant on top of Donny as my legs straddle his hips, his own hands keeping them there before beginning to gently move me back and forth. The sudden friction between us causes me to gasp before my eyes fly to Donny’s face, only to be met with a soft, yet sly smile. “What?” He asks me, his tongue darting out to lick his top lip. “I’m just tryin’ to help you sleep, babe. That’s all.”

Despite Donny’s “reassuring” comment, I still find myself smiling as I remain trying to catch my breath. Not to mention Donny’s actions haven’t ceased in the slightest; to make it even worse, neither of us wear much clothes to sleep in. It’s moments like these that I crave, just for a hint of solidarity, but at the same time, I can’t help but be scared as I never know when that very moment could be ripped away from me.

“Hey,” Donny’s voice brings me out of my stupor, causing my eyes to dart back to his once more. This time, however, the once seduction-filled eyes are now consumed with concern. Sitting up with me still in his hold, Donny continues to look at me this way before moving a hand up to push my hair away from my face. “Darlin’, I may not know what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours, but I see that fear in your eyes, and I don’t like it.”

At his comment, I find myself tearing up, only for Donny to pull me to his chest at the sight of it. Against his warm skin, I let out the tears I’ve been holding in for a while. His hands gently rubbing my lower back comforts me as I do so, and only when I pull away does Donny speak up. “Tell me,” he murmurs, “tell me what you’re thinking.”

For a few seconds, I contemplate how to properly tell him just what I’m feeling. Thankfully, with Donny and I being together for so long, we know how to read each other; even when we don’t know how to read ourselves. “I’m just worried, honey,” I explain to him, “You know I’m always thinking about the future and how it might play out, good or bad.”

At that, the corner of his lip turns up as he brushes my hair back, still trying to comfort me. “We can’t do anything about that, honey, but what we can do is right now,” he reminds me, “And let me assure you, nothing will come between us; I promise you that.”

Smiling once more, I nod at his words before leaning forward and kissing him, slowly resuming what we had going on before. “I believe you,” I finally respond to him, breaking away from his kiss. “I trust you.”

With that, Donny puts on a smile I haven’t seen in a while, not since we exchanged rings. As he kisses me with more vigor, I realize there are more ways to say “I love you” than just uttering those three words. Despite those very words being shared often between Donny and me, I haven’t gotten this much of a response in a very long time. Trust is vital between two people, of course, but trust in the future might be the most powerful.

#donny donowitz x reader #donny donowitz #donny donowitz imagine #donny donowitz imagines #donny donowitz fanfiction #donny donowitz x fem!reader #eli roth #eli roth x reader #inglorious basterds x reader #inglorious basterds imagines #inglorious basterds imagine #inglorious basterds

[mlmxreader]

Still Awake | Donny Donowitz x m!reader

anonymous asked: Donny with I'm just gonna bash your fucking brain in ( really just this scene...)

summary: Donny knows you all too well for your own good.

tws: war mentions, swearing

support your fanfic writers by reblogging what you read & enjoy

The stars outside gleamed a silver smile along with a laughing moon while the winds whistled a fine old tune; a tune that had been heard by every ancestor, yet had been drowned out by the sounds of gunfire, mortars, shelling, tanks, and death. Hurricanes and blizzards, no storm could be heard over the raging melody of death and destruction.

Yet, within the tunnel, a bear slept soundly beside the man he loved.

His arm thrown over his man, Donny was snoring softly, the soft breaths warm against the back of your cold neck; his leather jacket draped over you, and one of Wicki's thicker jackets beneath it, yet you were still so cold.

The broken tunnels did very little in terms of warmth, cold droplets of semi solid water trickling between the cracked stones; Donny didn't seem to notice as he slept in his vest, his trousers pulled down to his ankles after he complained that he was too warm, his baseball bat right in front of you.

Some of the names had become smudged, yet still legible and still readable; every name a different story.

Every name a different loved one who should have been safe. A loved one who should be alive. You looked away, not wanting to be reminded of what would be waiting for you if they were to capture you; you knew all too well, but you had to keep fighting. You couldn't give up, couldn't let them kill more people as the hours went on; it was like Aldo said - the only good Nazi is a fucking dead Nazi.

The best thing any of you could do for anyone was to kill every single one of those fuckers, the more painful the death, the better.

Make them pay.

Make them regret every word, every action.

Make sure they could never hurt anyone again.

Make them rue the day they ever put that fucking uniform on; some of them lied, said they were only following orders and didn't actually believe in what they were doing, but they were fucking liars.

The lot of them, every little fucker who so much as nodded along to speeches, deserved to die.

Donny tried to pull you closer, a grumble coming from the back of his throat as he realised that he couldn't, and he sighed as he dared to open one eye; gently, he tapped your stomach with his rough fingers, and moved to sit up.

Looking down at you, he frowned. "You're still awake?"

You nodded, moving onto your back as you sighed, shivers running through your body as you missed his warmth. "Too cold to sleep."

He tutted, daring to straddle your waist for a moment before he gently lowered his body onto yours, trying not to laugh when he felt you chuckle at the sudden contacts. "This any better?"

"You becoming a blanket?" You teased, daring to bring a hand up to card through his hair as he rested his head on your chest. His dark black hair was somehow still soft, like it had been washed just that morning, even if you knew that he had not gotten the chance to wash it for weeks.

Then again, neither did you. It was difficult to find bodies of water that were big enough to bathe in, even more difficult to come by certain basics like towels, spare clothes, soap; everything was hard to find and to come by when you weren't even allowed to be in contact with other allied regiments unless it was an emergency.

Basterds were on their own, and that meant no rations, which meant that everything you could find, you had to salvage however much you could; you would have killed for a bar of soap. You couldn't blame Donny for smelling a bit, given the circumstances, and you were certain that you did as well; but his hair was still so soft, you wondered if he secretly had a bar of soap to himself that he wasn't sharing.

Probably not.

His stubble was getting thicker by the day, it would only be a few weeks until he had a proper beard; you could remember the days when he would despise himself for not shaving every day. Those days were long gone; now, even being able to trim facial hair was a fucking luxury and a half. As much as you knew you were doing the right thing by killing every Nazi you could find, you did wonder if the other allied regiments were better off; they were given rations, they had places to wash.

"You're doing it again," Donny murmured.

"What?"

"You're doing that thing where you wonder if the other guys are better off," he mumbled against your skin, "y'know, that thing where you think that maybe you'd be better off under some fuckin' McAuliffe cunt's command."

"You really know me that well?" You asked, tugging at his hair gently to force him to look at you.

Donny smiled as he nodded, raising his brows slightly. "Course I do... gonna make you my husband one day, I'd like to think I fuckin' know you as much as I do myself."

"Fair point," you hummed, letting go of his hair so that you could put your arms behind your head. "You really think we're gonna live that long, though?"

He didn't want to say it, didn't want to admit that he really wasn't sure if he thought about it for more than a few moments; but he also knew that if he didn't say it, then you would be worse off. He couldn't have that.

"Yeah, of fuckin' course I do! Anyone who tells me otherwise, I'll tell them straight: I'm gonna bash your fucking brains in."

"What if I tell you otherwise?"

"You won't," he glared at you with big brown eyes as he shook his head.

You licked your lips as you swallowed thickly. "What if I do?"

"Then," he moved up, straddling your waist again as he planted his hands on the cold stones either side of your head, a smile coming to his face. "I guess I'm gonna have to fuckin' kiss you til you think differently."

As he looked at you, he couldn't help but to smile; he could remember you being so small that people had to carry you. He used to be so small that he couldn't kick a football when he was younger. He couldn't remember you both getting so much older; you had become so handsome. He got so tall. Wasn't it just yesterday that you were playing in the street outside his father's barbershop?

So many years together, one season following the next like it was nothing; everything you had done together growing up, had brought you both here. He still loved you as much as he did when you were both small; he still loved you as much as he did when you were stupid children. So natural a fit, it was no shock that, if you were to make it out of the war alive, there would be a canopy to stand beneath just around the corner.

"I love you," he breathed out.

"I know," you mumbled, gently cupping his cheek. "I don't wanna lose you."

Leaning into your touch, Donny shook his head. "I don't wanna lose you, either."

"Tell me we're gonna make it out alive. Tell me it's all gonna be alright."

#mlem writes #donny donowitz x reader #donny donowitz one shot #donny donowitz imagine #donny donowitz #the bear jew #inglourious basterds x reader #inglourious basterds imagine #inglourious basterds #inglorious basterds x reader #inglorious basterds imagine #inglorious basterds

[rurivu]

I will keept them especially for you[part2]

Dieter Hellstrom&Fem!reader

!!!NSFW!!!!

•°•°•°•°°•°•°°•°•°•°°°•

It was getting late.To say with what impatience you were waiting for Major Dieter Hellstrom is to say nothing.You stood in the kitchen in your best clothes, a faded short knitted pink dress with thin straps and an equally short maroon silk robe with a hanging belt.In fact, even you didn't care about this outfit, because it was intended only to be taken off.And Dieter will take it off you....Oh, you're all on pins and needles.Just the thought that he will come home any minute makes you flow (everyone would like such a family life, huh).

And here it is, the long-awaited creak of the opening doors.You take off and run into the hallway.Hellstrom is standing there, smiling maliciously.Biting your lip, you also smiled and leaned into the aisle, taking a fake sexy pose.The man grinned with such a joke:

- Have you been waiting for me for a long time, honey?- taking off his outer clothes, the German spoke.You're getting closer to him.

- Well, if you start counting from lunch, then somewhere forever.- theatrically you lengthened the word.You are both in a good mood, both in anticipation.He also approached you, now you are easily pressed against each other.

- Well, now I'm all yours...Dieter said deeply, looking you straight in the eye.His arm, like a snake, wraps around your waist.You, in turn, reflexively reach for the opponent's neck. "Aha...", That's all you said before you both bit into each other's lips with animal greed.Even though the major's skin was always cold, his tongue was always hot.Lifting you off the ground, Hellstrom carried you to the bedroom, which was around the corner, not for a second without looking up from the process.

Having reached the destination, he threw you on the bed with your back down, and, forced to break the kiss, you convulsively began to pull off each other's clothes, unable to cope with your attraction.The German coped with the task surprisingly quickly and after a couple of moments you were completely naked in front of him, but you had to tinker with the buttons on his snow-white shirt.Finally throwing Dieter's dirty clothes on the floor, you grabbed him and pulled him to you to kiss him again, casually lingering lips on a man's neck.As you thought, the same heavy fragrance as always, sometimes you wonder how well-groomed this person is.

You've already suffered enough, so, pushing him away, defiantly pressed your groin into his.The hint was understood, and the major did not want to make his lady (and himself) wait even a second longer.At one point, unbuttoning his pants, he immediately entered the full size.Your pussy clenched with pleasure, from which you and the man above you quietly sighed.

He began to move rhythmically, from which you blissfully purred, squeezing the already poor sheet to a creak.Through half-closed eyes, you watched Dieter's body, covered with moles just like his face.His exhausted breathing, soaked in black lust, is absolutely harmoniously combined with your graceful moans full of passion.

A deep push and then the rhythm changes rapidly.From a measured pace to crazy fast wet thrusts.All your insides are convulsing, you feel his cock expanding inside you.Gasping for air, all you do is say his name.

- Dieter, Dieter, Dieter....I... you..- fragments of phrases fly out of your mouth.

"What do you mean, honey?"Hellstrom gasps in mid-sentence.- Tell me, tell me now.I want to hear your voice, whatever you think, come on, I'm waiting!The commanding note in his voice made your heart beat even faster.Soon he will come, and your voice will really help him in this.The major roughly grabbed you by the thigh, from which you made something like a cry and a groan.

- Yes, please, Mr. Sturmbannfuhrer, I love you!Everything in me now wants only you!-despair and belittling with such speeches, especially with your voice, just drives Dieter Hellstrom crazy.- Please, Major, I will die right here if you don't finish..!- a smile appeared on the man's face, but it wasn't so funny to you, because at some point you were sure that it would never end and you would die right here from orgasm.But he didn't finish everything.

"You're just a monster, you're going to drive me to my grave!"- you shouted with even greater despair....

And then, a volcano erupts inside, streams of hot seed fill you from the inside out.You try to catch your breath, whispering along the way how much you love this man.All the juices and insides are mixed into one big mixture, filling you all.Dieter hovers over you, and then lies down on you exhausted and very carefully.You both sigh and exhale exhausted, but you put your heavy hands right on his back.Gradually moving away, Dieter was the first to raise his voice:

- And when you said....how could you formulate that?..

- I don't know, somehow, I said what I think...- you answered.- ... It was like I was out of my mind, so all the nonsense broke out.

You felt him smile at your collarbone.Hugging him a little tighter, you buried yourself in his jet-black hair, which was noticeably disheveled.Damn it, he smelled great too!

- I made dinner...Do you want to eat?you asked timidly.

- I completely forgot.That would be nice.- he answered calmly, holding your hand.

•°•°•°°•°•°•°°•°•°•°°•°°•

#dieter hellstrom #oc x canon #major dieter hellstrom #dieter hellstrom x reader #dieter hellstrom imagine #august diehl #inglorious basterds x reader #inglourious basterds #inglorious basterds #kinda nswf #nswf text

[edwardshundredyearoldspunk]

I love watching quentin tarantino movies on my phone because I just know he would hate it

#quentin tarantino #i know you have a secret tumblr #(okay i don't actually know this but can you imagine) #either way if you do I want you to know #i want you to know i watched inglorious basterds on my phone #all of it #on my phone #the subtitles weren't even small #perfect sized subtitles

[supercalifragipopculturevomit]

THE BEST OF DANIEL BRÜHL

It’s dumb, honestly.

You get this seemingly brilliant idea of turning to foreign films so you’re forced to read subtitles and focus—a problem you’ve been noticing of late—but in doing so, you end up with a more destructive distraction.

“Who’s that guy, again? The one in all those international productions?” That’s how I found myself on my Daniel Brühl marathon-turned-obsession.

It was his role as the cute Nazi in Inglorious Basterds that first put him on my radar. Over the years, I would see him in The Fifth Estate, Burnt, Woman in Gold, The Zookeeper’s Wife, and The King’s Man. Midway through All Quiet on the Western Front, I was like, “All this needs is that German actor…” and I had to chuckle when he later appeared on screen. I also checked out the first season of The Alienist because I was intrigued by what he and Dakota Fanning as leads would do with such a spooky-looking show.

Adorable as he was in his breakout role in Good Bye, Lenin!, it was his performance in the critically-acclaimed Rush that caused me to spiral. Similar to when Benedict Cumberbatch took on the modern version of Sherlock, it was like seeing Brühl with new eyes. His playful take on Helmut Zemo in The Falcon and the Winter Soldier was the final nail in the coffin. I don’t imagine it’s all too different from what Tom Hiddleston did to fans of Marvel as Loki.

I’m actually at the tail-end of this obsession now that I’ve seen everything I can get a hold of—around 39 films, two TV shows, a documentary, a music video, countless interviews, a bunch of ads, and a handful of fan cuts—but he has a lot of works worth recommending so I thought I would share them on here. This will mostly be a subjective list with priority on projects I found most interesting which showcase his range best. Like, I enjoyed The Bourne Ultimatum but he was on screen for a total of 2 minutes so I wouldn’t include that here.

RUSH (2013) This biographical sports film written by Peter Morgan—the man behind The Crown—centers on the rivalry between Formula One drivers James Hunt and Niki Lauda in the 70s. Not a fan of F1 or sports in general. I have nothing against either, just zero interest. But this character-driven film, much like Ford vs Ferrari, had me at the edge of my seat the entire ride. And it surprisingly has one of the best meet-cutes—and accidental wingmen—I’ve seen yet.

Brühl delivers an Oscar-worthy performance in this role. For someone who needed a lot of convincing he could do the character justice, he truly went above and beyond. For one, he befriended and studied Lauda, the iconic F1 figure he was portraying. No easy feat considering Lauda being, well… Lauda. In interviews, Brühl recounts the story of the memorable invite he got from Lauda to meet in Vienna. This would be their first meeting and Lauda told Brühl outright that he should only bring hand luggage so he can piss off if they don’t like each other.

He would end up staying a few days and buying additional clothes.

He also spent a month in Vienna to nail the accent, making sure to capture the arrogance and irony innate to it. And although he got driver training for the role, he also considered the tiniest details like which went on first: helmet or gloves? There was also the tricky business of looking graceful entering a tiny F1 car—a bigger challenge for Chris Hemsworth who plays Hunt—but an obstacle all the same.

All the hard work paid off. It was well-received by audiences, critics, and the F1 world. The first time Lauda saw the film he went, “Holy shit, that’s really me”. Lauda’s friends thought he did voiceover work for it. Director Ron Howard was so pleased with Brühl’s performance that he went out of his way to show an unfinished cut of the movie to the producers of The Fifth Estate (2013). This gracious act would land Brühl the co-lead role opposite Benedict Cumberbatch.

GOOD BYE, LENIN! (2003) Can't tell if it's just because the two films have the same composer and were created around the same time, but this tragicomedy set in East Germany reminded me so much of my beloved Amélie. This is definitely more dramatic and political but it has that same mix of whimsy, heart, and charm. With its budget, it was meant to be an indie film, but the story of a son who would recreate a faux-socialist world to keep his mother alive captured the heartstrings of audiences, not just in Germany but also worldwide. Brühl plays the son and his success with this film was a double-edged sword: although it would open doors for him internationally, he would also be typecast as the “nice guy” in his home country.

INGLORIOUS BASTERDS (2009) This has one of the best, most intense opening sequences in all of cinema… and one of the greatest villains. In this wild alternate universe from Quentin Tarantino, he rewrites the ending of World War II. It’s the right balance of dark, hilarious, and entertaining—my favorite from the auteur’s works. Here Brühl plays a cute and charming Nazi, which is very confusing to the senses.

Aside from Brühl, it was also my first introduction to Christoph Waltz, Michael Fassbender, and Melanie Laurent—all fantastic European actors who’ve crossed over to Hollywood after the success of this movie. “Crossing over” seems ubiquitous now but, at that time, giving most of the lead roles to then relatively unknown actors must have been a risk. But for this, it was necessary. Language plays a huge part in this trilingual film and casting native speakers grounded it in authenticity. Tarantino originally had Leonardo di Caprio in mind to play Hans Landa. Whether he meant for him to learn German or to speak English with a German accent, who knows. Either way, it’s safe to say that would have been a different film.

THE EDUKATORS / DIE FETTEN JAHRE SIND VORBEI (2004) This anti-capitalist film, which has become a cult classic, captures the spirit, idealism, recklessness, and angst of young revolutionaries who just want a better world. Where one stands on the measures taken, or even their sentiment, can be considered a litmus test. With or without reference to this quote from the movie—“Under 30 and not liberal, no heart. Over 30 and still liberal, no brain.”—is up to the viewer.

There needs to be a suspension of disbelief for the series of events that takes place but the setting is necessary for the clash of worlds to happen. It’s not a perfect movie but the issues they debate about in length… they’re still discussions we’re having nearly 20 years later.

p.s. this has my favorite behind-the-scenes of all of Brühl’s projects. Though he hasn’t lost his sense of humor, he seems to have become more reserved as he got older. HERE, at this period in his life, he’s a total goofball bordering on loose cannon.

THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER (2021) Though I’ve enjoyed quite a few MCU movies, I’m not invested in the universe at all, so watching this wasn’t a priority. In fact, I was ready to settle on YouTube compilations made by devoted fans of all the scenes Brühl was in. Upon seeing clips, however, I got intrigued by his character so I still ended up watching the miniseries and also Captain America: Civil War (2016).

Both were better than I expected. Civil War is more serious, while TFATWS is more playful, but both face relevant issues along with formidable foes. Brühl’s villain in Helmut Zemo is fascinating because he tears the mighty Avengers apart with mere patience, fury, and intelligence… and his motivations are understandable. He lets his character loose in TFATWS—at one point, on the dance floor—and it’s magnificent. His mission is still the same, but this time he does it with a lot of charm, humor, and fabulous Sokovian style. A Turkish delight, personified.

ME AND KAMINSKI / ICH UND KAMINSKI (2015) Brühl’s Sebastian Zöllner is a repulsive and sleazy journalist who has greasy hair and wears too much cologne but I can’t get enough of his chaotic energy. His magnum opus is hitched on a legendary artist dying and his fantasy is to turn the orphaned daughter into a sugar mommy. It’s all kinds of messed up but he plays the hell out of the smarmy dirtbag so it’s a lot of fun. This is Brühl’s second collaboration with Wolfgang Becker, who directed Good Bye, Lenin! Daniel Kehlmann, the writer whose eponymous book this film was based on, would later write Brühl’s directorial debut, Nebenan.

NO REGRETS / NICHTS BEUREUEN (2001) This is reminiscent of the slightly problematic but highly enjoyable teen comedies and coming-of-age films of the 90s. It’s like an edgier Can’t Hardly Wait: boy goes through cringe-worthy measures to get the girl he’s long been pining for, his two closest pals have nothing but dumb advice to offer, yet he still ends up on the path to self-discovery. It’s awkward, chaotic, frustrating, and beautiful—but such is adolescence.

Brühl and his co-star Jessica Schwarz fall in love on the set of this film. And although they would break up years later, the tenderness between their scenes together is palpable and there’s something rather bittersweet about seeing that captured in perpetuity.

For a more straightforward rom-com, he has Lila, Lila (2009). It’s about a guy who passes off a manuscript as his own to impress a girl and the hilarity that follows. It’s on YouTube for those who need a fun and light watch.

THE ALIENIST (2018 – 2020) Based on the novel of the same name, this moody psychological thriller set in late 19th century New York follows a psychiatrist—then called an Alienist—who investigates a series of grisly murders with methods still considered new and controversial at that time, such as psychology and fingerprinting. He gets by with a little help from his friends, John Moore, an illustrator for the New York Times, and Sara Howard, a society woman who works in the NYPD.

In the lead role of Dr. Laszlo Kreizler, Brühl plays the dark, complex, and mysterious Alienist whose study of mental pathologies and deviant behaviors reveals much of himself and his past.

LESSONS OF A DREAM / DER GANZ GROßE TRAUM (2011) This film is loosely based on Konrad Koch, an educator and pioneer who brought football to Germany in the late 19th century. In the movie, the sport is used as a means to pique students’ interest in the English language and culture—both considered barbaric by the Germans at that time. A heartwarming tale of a teacher who overcomes insurmountable odds and inspires students along the way, it’s the German equivalent of Dead Poet’s Society.

ALL QUIET ON THE WESTERN FRONT (2022) This story, the third adaptation of the 1929 novel, “Im Westen nichts Neues”, conveys the futility of war like no other. There aren't as many films on World War I as there are on World War II, fewer ones that tell it from a German perspective, so this is doubly unique in that regard. Powerful watch but 10/10 not like to relive it again. Apart from producing it with his company, Amusement Park, Brühl plays Matthias Erzberger, the German State Secretary who pushes for armistice talks with the Allied forces.

An ideal companion watch to this would be Joyeux Noël / Merry Christmas (2005), another WWI movie Brühl stars in, which depicts the unbelievable Christmas truce between French, German, and Scottish soldiers in 1914. His linguistic ability shines here as he shifts between German, French, and English effortlessly. (Half German, half Spanish, Brühl speaks a total of five languages: those three plus Spanish and Catalan.)

The Zookeeper’s Wife (2017) and Alone in Berlin (2016) also recognize the bravery of defiance at the height of tyrannical regimes. Although between the two, I would skip the latter.

JOHN RABE (2009) This biographical film set in China tells the incredible true story of a German businessman who uses his Nazi Party membership to create an International Safety Zone in Nanking. This was in the late 1930s, during the Rape of Nanjing. In this six-week carnage by the Imperial Japanese Army—which includes sexual assault, mutilations, and killing contests—upwards of 200,000 Chinese are brutally murdered. The protective zone manages to save around the same number of civilians.

Brühl doesn’t play the titular Rabe, but his character, Dr. Georg Rosen, is one of few Westerners who decides to remain and protect Nanking even as conflict escalates. Dr. Rosen was a German Diplomat instrumental in the creation of the safety zone.

p.s. with all these heroic roles in his catalog, I’m convinced Brühl would be a frontrunner to play President Volodymyr Zelenskyy, should a movie be made about him and Ukraine’s conflict with Russia. You heard it here first.

NEXT DOOR / NEBENAN (2021) This is Brühl’s directorial debut. Here he plays a darker, fictionalized version of himself. Definitely not for everyone but quite enjoyable if you’re familiar with his major works and public persona, appreciate the ingenuity of one-location movies, and delight in British-style meta humor.

Pre-requisite viewing for maximum enjoyment: Good Bye, Lenin!, Captain America: Civil War, and The Falcon and the Winter Soldier.

#daniel brühl #rush #niki lauda #good bye lenin! #alexander kerner #inglorious basterds #quentin tarantino #christoph waltz #fredrick zoller #the edukators #Die fetten Jahre sind vorbei #the falcon and the winter soldier #helmut zemo #baron zemo #captain america civil war #zemo #marvel #MCU #me and kaminski #ich und kaminski #Sebastian Zöllner #wolfgang becker #daniel kehlmann #no regrets #Nichts bereuen #jessica shwarz #lila lila #the alienist #dr laszlo kreizler #laszlo kreizler

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Hans Landa Cafeteria Dream part 1

During an early afternoon nap today (26th August 2023) I had a detailed dream based on ‘Inglorious Basterds’, the dream whose description can nearly be considered a fan fiction. In my dream I discovered some YouTube film with deleted scenes from Tarantino’s movie. Of course, as someone who admires Hans Landa, I used the visual search tool and stopped the play/pause button just at the scene where I have noticed his presence. In the scene, there was a bright, sunny sky and the line of low beige buildings in the old-town style, but this landscape did not resemble a big city such as Paris but some smaller town in France, and I even knew it in my dream that this is outside Paris. The camera focused on the cafeteria building which has ground floor and first floor only (in the British sense).

The front walls of the building were removed and thus it resembled a dollhouse for children. The town, and the cafeteria itself, seemed to be very calm despite the war, thus the walls’ removal was made not because of war damages but because of making it accessible to the movie spectator. I saw Hans Landa on the first (and therefore the top) floor of the cafeteria. On the ground floor, before the fake entrance, there was a woman who wanted so badly to enter the cafeteria and meet Hans. The woman was wearing A-type skirt and was blond-haired, but, contrary to Shosanna and Bridget, two main female characters in the movie, her haircut was quite short, so-called bob, therefore I can say this was simply my haircut in the present, and the A-type skirt I like to wear was not very popular in the 1940s. However, in the dream I did not identify the woman with myself. (Of course the woman had not only a skirt but also a white blouse and a navy blue jacket 😄).

Then I found out that I will not understand anything from this scene if I do not watch the previous one. So I rewinded the video to watch it. In this previous scene, a battlefield was presented from the perspective of a soldier of the Allies (the anti-German side). He was also a character from the original Tarantino’s film but I don’t remember who exactly he was, let’s assume this was Aldo Raine because he was the main Allies’ character in the film. The battlefield scene was made in some kind of grotesque, music video style. Aldo Raine was presenting himself in the trench which was digged at the rear of the big field, in some scarce shrubbery, and the lieutenant was almost rapping some introduction of himself – something like ‘Here I am and I do the shooting work’, and presenting his gun. Then two cabaret girls loomed up from behind him, from the depth of the trench, and sang some chorus: ‘Yes, yes, we like to be in battle trench’. Singing, both girls brought up their almost-naked legs in the revia style – the girl on the left brought up her right leg, and the girl on the right brought up her left leg, to constitute the symmetry. I became somehow upset by this ‘funny’ attitude to war and wanted to do something to change it. Then I realized that I joined the world of the movie. I was no longer a YouTube spectator but the person on the battlefield, I felt I was even wearing a military jacket, and, digging lightly in the trench, seeing and touching the grains of soil left over after building it, I was seeking to show to myself – and to Aldo Raine – which position is the best to shoot the Nazi enemy but at the same time not to be shot.

Then the scene changed itself to the Hans-Landa-in-the-bright-small-town one. I was again just watching the film. The aforementioned blond-haired woman was impatiently standing before cafeteria, sometimes marching nervously to the one or another end of the old nice buildings’ line. When in all her wandering she once disappeared from the spectator’s view, then Hans just left the cafeteria building and appeared before it (of course in his uniform). A close-up was made at his face and then he started to behave like in a musical: all in larks (this is a Polish expression symbolizing big happiness and light-heartedness at the same time), he started to sing: ‘I’m about to have a woman! I’m about to have them all!’. Then the close-up ended and the camera showed him walking away from the cafeteria. He approached the next building on the right (from the spectator’s perspective). Then he repeated his singing lines in a very weird position: he stood closely under the blank (real) wall of the building; his arms crossed to ‘hug’ the beige wall but in fact hugging no one but himself; his forehead leaned against the wall as if he was dancing with a beloved woman.

In the dream I was thinking this is a funny representation of his approaching satisfaction and of the stereotypical inexhaustible sexual appetite of a male character, but now, when I am writing this, I think it is so embarrassing, depressing, and ironic to sing ‘I’m about to have a woman! I’m about to have them all!’ that way, having the face withdrawn from others and from the sun, hugging no one but a wall (yes, exactly like the way I imagine sometimes I’m hugging and calming down Hans while it’s only my arms crossed against the quilt). In fact, his strange behaviour signalized the solitude; that he had no one to hug. Anyway, by the lines of Hans’ song I knew that the composition of the battlefield scene and the cafeteria scene has the objective to show that the element of courtship and sexuality is present also during the war, no matter if you’re in the battlefield or in the occupied town.

The dream isn't ended yet - please read Part 2!

#inglourious basterds #bękarty wojny #hans landa imagine #inglorious basterds imagine #hans landa #quentin tarantino #tarantino fan fiction